What can Christians do to prevent abortion?

WARNING: This post is extremely opposed to Democrats, feminists and the postmodern/relativist/universalist church. Please do not read if you are easily offended.

Consider this account of an abortion. (H/T Mary, The Other McCain)

Excerpt:

My biological father abandoned my mother while we were toddlers.  He was a charming rogue of a gambler who came and went in our lives, leaving a wake of debt and infidelity.  My mother had been encouraged to get an abortion (illegally) by more than one family member when she found out she was expecting me, (the middle child).  Thankfully she gave birth to me and later to my younger brother, and was a loving mother. When Daddy’s gambling debts caused her small teaching salary to be garnished, she filed for a divorce.  Even after the first divorce she had been a good mother, taking us to church, reading us the Bible in the morning before school, singing to us at night, and praying with us for our wandering father.  She was gentle and supportive and I always knew I could go to her for help.  When mother remarried my first stepfather, (who was an alcoholic) things became difficult.

A devastating trauma struck our family in the summer of 1971 when I was 13 years old. My younger brother was killed in a car accident on our way home from a camping trip with our grandparents. He was 10 years old. My grandfather was also killed, my grandmother lost a leg, and my sister and I were injured.  The car accident and family trauma triggered a chain of events that led to my mother and first stepfather to divorce.

My stepfather was committed to a mental hospital briefly, and mother had an emotional breakdown. My sister and I went to live with my aunt and uncle for some months.

When we returned home to my mother after the divorce, things were not the same. My mother seemed wounded and disillusioned with life.  Without the stability of the family, or the church, we all struggled to recover from my brother’s death. She was still working as a teacher but she was living with my second stepfather, though they were not married yet.  He is a man I have grown to love and respect over time, yet in the 1970’s, when he was living with my mother, he was a different person than he is today and we disliked each other.

My sister and I were left on our own most of the time.  Previously, I had been raised going to church, but after the accident we just never went back. My sister and I became angry and rebellious. My sister left home when she was about 16, and backpacked around the country with her boyfriend. There I was at age 15, my sister gone, and feeling like I was in the way. There was a sense of being an obstacle to my mothers’ relationship with this new man.

My friendships changed from the kids we knew at church to the kids who hung out at the local Teen Center. Some of them took drugs and drank.

[…]My mother signed over guardianship of me to Steven after I had moved to Boston. I remember my surprise when Steven told me she had signed the papers and trying to take this in mentally. A sense of vulnerability came over me, knowing that I was his ward, but we were not married. He had not expressed his intentions of a long-term relationship with me. He had mentioned that he wanted guardianship papers so I could travel across state lines when he was on tour. I had told him my mother would not sign me over to him. I asked him how he had got her to do it. He said, “I told her I needed them for you to enroll in school.” I felt abandoned by my mother as well as my father and stepfather. Steven was really my only hope at that point.

So now what do we learn from this? Who is responsible for Julia’s abortion according to these facts? And what should Christians do to prevent a situation like this from occurring again? Should we wait until the pregnancy happens, or is there a way to attack the root of the problem with pro-family policies and effective church involvement?

First of all, it’s important to point out that fatherlessness causes women to engage in early sex.

Consider these facts:

– Adolescent females between the ages of 15 and 19 years reared in homes without fathers are significantly more likely to engage in premarital sex than adolescent females reared in homes with both a mother and a father.

Source: Billy, John O. G., Karin L. Brewster and William R. Grady. “Contextual Effects on the Sexual Behavior of Adolescent Women.” Journal of Marriage and Family 56 (1994): 381-404.

– Children in single parent families are more likely to get pregnant as teenagers than their peers who grow up with two parents.

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. National Center for Health Statistics. National Health Interview Survey. Hyattsville, MD 1988.

– A white teenage girl from an advantaged background is five times more likely to become a teen mother if she grows up in a single-mother household than if she grows up in a household with both biological parents.

Source: Whitehead, Barbara Dafoe. “Facing the Challenges of Fragmented Families.” The Philanthropy Roundtable 9.1 (1995): 21.
(Source)

Fatherlessness has many causes, but the most obvious cause is that women freely choose to have sex with men who will not stick around to raise the children. That is why we have an out-of-wedlock birth rate of over 40% – women are consenting to sex with men who will have not demonstrated that they are willing and capable of committing to marriage and parenting. The choice of who to have sex with is, in virtually every situation, the woman’s decision. Women with low self-esteem are especially prone to avoid men who have strong moral character, and definite ideas about religion. They want to avoid being “controlled” or “rejected” when they act immorally. So they deliberately choose men who will not judge them or lead them spiritually. So the blame for fatherlessness lies solely on the woman – she chooses the man who she intends to have sex with.

Women cannot blame an irresponsible MAN for hurting them if they CHOOSE HIM and then he acts… IRRESPONSIBLY. He was irresponsible BEFORE the woman got there, and yet she still chose him of her own free will. Women are very well educated these days, and they have plenty of time to think about marriage. But what I have found is that they often resent the idea of using any criteria for men other than entertainment, feelings and peer-approval. How will they look in wedding pictures, they wonder?

We have already talked a lot about how women choose men using the 180-second rule, based on physical appearances and “confidence”. Women are not doing a good job of evaluating men for the role of husband and father. They are choosing based on shoes and voice and shoulders. So of course this is not going to work. Everything else in life requires lots of time spent reading, planning and testing if you hope to have success. But when it comes to men, many young, unmarried women choose irrationally and stupidly, based on selfishness and vanity. And the problem gets worse as successive generations are raised without fathers. Fathers matter. Fathers need to respected for the role they play in parenting.

Politics

Exacerbating the situation is the fact that leftist social engineers push sex education and welfare subsidies for women who chose to deliberately avoid men who are protectors and providers. However, women again do not escape blame here, since 77% of young, unmarried women voted for Obama in 2008, according to exit polls. Obama is a Democrat, and Democrats are the party of sex education, single mother welfare, no-fault divorce, and same-sex marriage. Democrats are the anti-marriage party, and young, unmarried women turn out in droves to vote for Democrats. And these policies cause the out-of-wedlock birth rate to skyrocket.

Naturally, the more that these young, unmarried women vote for bigger and bigger government to bail them out of their own irresponsible choices with men, the higher taxes will go, and the less money marriage-minded men will have. Men with less money DO NOT GET MARRIED. And the decline of boys in the schools isn’;t going to help them to find jobs, either. Instead of valuing good men, it seems as though young, unmarried women prefer to marry the government, since government mails out the checks but makes no moral demands. Parenting is left to taxpayer-funded day care and public schools – not fathers. We need to realize that fathers can only be effective when they have authority in the home, and this is usually related to the fact that they are primary breadwinners.

Postmodernism, moral relativism and universalism in the church

Another factor is the church. Julia’s mother was a very devout, spiritual and pious Christian. She attended church regularly, read the Bible and sung all the praise hymns. And how did this affect her decision making? Well – it didn’t. And the reason for this is two-fold. First of all, the church has stopped providing boundaries for behaviors and making moral judgments. Churches have embraced postmodernism (there is no truth), moral relativism (moral judgments are evil because people feel bad when they are judged) and universalism (believe anything you want as long as it makes you feel good). Christianity is no longer presented as being TRUE, with evidence and arguments (apologetics). Instead it is presented as something that makes people feel better, and you choose the religion you like.

The purpose of going to church for Julia’s mother was to have good feelings and a sense of community. She was not interested in discovering scientific and historical evidence that would make the moral rules of Christianity incumbent on her – she was not interested in moral obligations. Moral rules, like the rules around chastity and courtship, are “too strict”. It’s better to just take church as another way of feeling happy, and then do whatever you want. I once knew an adulterous woman who had sex with her boyfriends in the same house as her children, yet she loved to attend church and to sing Handel’s Messiah at Christmas – for the spectacle and the emotional high. Imagine what view of marriage her children got from that?

Anti-intellectualism in the church

In addition to the failure of the church to defend against postmodernism, moral relativism and universalism, there is the problem of the fundamentalist churches that just preach from the Bible without ANY idea of why the Bible should be taken as an authority. So, not only is the church disinterested in talking about the Big Bang, the fine-tuning, the origin of life, the Cambrian explosion, the habitability problem, irreducible complexity and so forth, but they are also disinterested in explaining moral issues like abortion and traditional marriage. When churched parents have discussions with their children, they use church merely as a way to boss the children around so that they have less trouble with the kids. They scare them with the Devil and Hell (which are both real) without ever explaining prescriptive moral obligations using evidence.

For example, Julia’s mother’s church and parents SHOULD HAVE explained to her the importance of chastity and courting using evidence from social science that shows how chastity improves marital stability and marriage quality – things like communication and fidelity. The bad effects of cohabitation and hooking-up should have been explained WITH EVIDENCE, like you find in Dr. Laura books or Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse books. I can walk into churches to hear some of the most famous preachers, like John Piper and Alistair Begg, and never once hear a single piece of real-world evidence. All I get is “the Bible says” and that has no effect on people who do not have reasons to accept the Bible as true, and an  understanding of how that truth is applied in the real world. Apparently, in many churches it is considered high-treason to ask – “are these things really true? And how do we see that they are true here in the real world, with publicly testable and observable data”? (Mark Driscoll is an exception, much as I disagree with his male-bashing, feminist bias)

Conclusion

So, in short, young, unmarried Democrat-voting women cause problems for their daughters by raising them without fathers, and the church’s refusal to engage in apologetics and to connect faith to public evidence just makes the problem worse. That’s where abortion comes from, and many, many pro-lifers need to get engaged on these problems instead of waiting until the woman is already pregnant. Yes, we need sonograms Yes, we need to cut public funding for Planned Parenthood. Yes, we need parental notification laws. But we also need to address the problem with pro-family policies and with apologetics and statistics in the church.

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19 thoughts on “What can Christians do to prevent abortion?”

  1. I would only ask, shouldn’t we say men who are irresponsible are to blame as well? Certainly many women choose bad men but that’s the point – they are bad men. They need to be held accountable.

    The men who were alcoholics and gambling addicts have blood on their hands.

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    1. Well, bad men cannot make babies by themselves. They just drink and gamble until someone who is womb-enabled comes along and brings an innocent third party into it.

      And thanks for reading this post.

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      1. I agree with Canbuhay.

        Foolish women cannot make babies by themselves either. They just watch soapies, and read unrealistic romance novels that tell them to “follow your heart” until someone who is sperm-enabled comes along and brings an innnocent third party into it.

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        1. Well, keep in mind that I didn’t blame the woman who had the abortion. I blamed the mother of that woman, because she freely chose the bad man. And I blamed the church for being weak and cowardly and ignorant and amoral.

          Well, I have some questions for you, anyway.

          1) Do wicked men cruelly force women to watch soapies and read unrealistic romance novels?
          2) Do wicked men write these romance novels and women’s magazines?

          I am just curious because I avoid sports, alcohol and drugs. If I made bad decisions because of my watching sports, drinking alcohol and taking drugs, then I would blame me. If I make a decision and things go badly, then aren’t I responsible?

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  2. Well, I think you ought to blame her father too.

    In response to your questions:
    1) No
    Do foolish women cruelly force men to drink and gamble?
    2) Some of them, yes.

    Sure, that’s my (and Canbuhay’s) point exactly. :)

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    1. Here’s my blame assignment:

      The girl: 0%
      The girl’s mother: 75%
      The church: 25%
      The bad men: 0%

      Bad men cannot be bad to women until the women FREELY CHOOSE the bad men, and pass by the good men. That’s the main error in the tragedy. The church has an obligation to educate people so that they make better moral decisions, but again, the woman is responsible to find a church that will do that. So the burden of blame is mostly on the woman’s mother. She reduced Christianity to self-fulfillment and emotivism and then the tragedy occurred.

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      1. Your blame assignment percentages seem quite arbitrary.

        Foolish women cannot be foolish with men until the men FREELY CHOOSE the foolish women.

        There is a sense in which the mother in this case has greater responsibility because she is Christian, so she ought to know better. But it’s not because she’s a woman.

        Also, just because one has experienced bad parenting doesn’t excuse one from making all manner of bad decisions. Julia Holcomb admits this herself. However, her extreme youth does, in my opinion, make her less culpable than someone older.

        Besides, where do you stop with the parental blaming? What about the mother’s parents? Why is the mother to blame instead of her parents? And their parents?

        Ultimately, we are responsible for our own bad decisions.

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        1. No. The girl herself is innocent. I can’t blame her. Given the hand she was dealt by her mother, I just can’t expect her to do any better. Daughters need their fathers, and they need supportive churches that have clear, rationally-grounded moral boundaries. Boundaries with real evidence to back them up – like Mark Driscoll does.

          I just disagree with you about the men. Bad men should be avoided by women. Then they can do no harm. In fact, if women chose good men, there would be no bad men. Men adapt to women’s expectations.

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  3. I’ll throw my 2 cents in (probably worth less than that!).

    About the not blaming bad men thing; I’m in the middle. I can see both sides of the situation. I understand your (WK) take and I understand Mary’s. One thing I highly agree with you on is that men adapt to women’s expectations. If women want stupid men, you will see many men (not all of them) “acting a fool.” Jerry Seinfeld points that out, comically, in his stand-up routines: men just want women and they’ll do anything to get them.

    I’m not taking the blame off of men, I’m simply stating that many men will be whatever the woman wants him to be. These days, it seems the trend (not all women) is women want a guy that is funny, care-free, and absent of rationality because lets face it, rational guys are BORING. What’s the result? Men that do not put the woman on a pedestal, men that are lazy, men that are sex-crazed, and men that are stupid.

    That’s my observation.

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  4. The Bible does not give bad men a pass because they are bad.

    Why do you, Wintery?

    The culture that holds the mother 75% resposible and the father 0% responsible will continue to produce more and more bad men.

    You cannot release men from their 50% of the blame for producing an innocent life, ever.
    There is nothing true or just in that stand. It is only one guy’s arbitrary and unwise opinion that women should be held to a much, much higher standard than men.

    Mary, keep after him. You are right, he is wrong.
    I’m glad someone is here to call him out on it.
    I’m too busy right now with a daughter graduating and needing help ironing out college stuff.

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    1. I think you gals are missing the thrust of WK’s argument. He’s not letting bad men off the hook.
      He says they’re bad and doesn’t glorify the bad men. He is telling women to avoid the bad men and give the good men attention. His argument is actually quite good.

      Generally (this isn’t the case for every man) men will be whatever women want them to be so they can reap the benefits of a relationship. The trend now is women (most women) want an entertainer, you know, a funny, stupid, and sexy guy. Well, women are getting that and the consequences of that too. For those traits in their men, they have lost: leadership, morals, serious committed love, and responsibility in men.

      What I gather from WK is that if women of influence in this country desired good men, good qualities, then the bad men would be the minority.

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      1. Yes, that’s precisely what I am saying.

        What I find scary about many women today is that they seem to want to act anyway they please, as irresponsibly and irrationally as possible, and then when the common sense effects predictably follow from the causes, their solution is to either 1) raise taxes so the government can spend more on welfare, and 3) use the courts to eliminate or control anyone who judges them or imposes costs on them or makes them feel bad. They don’t want give and take in relationships, or care about the needs of others. They resent the moral obligations that men and children place on them. That is what feminism has taught them to believe, and it basically means that they are not ready for marriage and parenting. Selfishness, drug abuse and hooking-up do not prepare a person for marriage.

        If secular leftist feminists insist on not preparing for marriage and making good choices, then this behavior will not make men marry them nor will it make men stick around to raise children. If these women choose bad men and then expect them to act like good men, it will not work. Very few people in this culture call women to be accountable for their decisions. But I am calling secular leftist feminists to account for the harm they cause with their selfishness and irrational decisions. If women choose men for appearances and fun, they will cause harm, such as abortion.

        Women need to be better at choosing men.

        Here’s a start:
        – don’t marry men who are unchaste
        – don’t marry men who drink to excess
        – don’t marry men who don’t understand apologetics
        – don’t marry men who are politically liberal
        – don’t marry men who oppose capitalism and the armed forces
        – don’t marry men who can’t reason about morality using research publications
        – don’t marry men who have gaps in their resume
        – don’t marry men who have no EARNED savings or assets
        – don’t marry men who are not frugal and stoic
        – don’t marry men who have no long-term mentoring relationships
        – don’t marry men who cannot lead women using loving persuasion and reasoning
        – don’t judge men using the 180-second rule based on appearances and emotions and imagination and peer-approval

        If you want to know why we are in the mess we are in, go up to a typical secular leftist feminist and tell her these rules for choosing men and preparing for marriage and parenting, and see what she says to you. They think that husbands and children are just things you buy from the store for your own amusement, like a pair of shoes or a new dress. You don’t prepare your character for relationships, and you don’t sacrifice for relationships. You just buy what makes you happy and then discard or exchange people if they don’t “work out”. It’s very common in the secular world.

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      2. @Mara: Thank you! I might have to pinch him with my pincers if he doesn’t see sense. ;-)

        @Jared: Yeah, I get what you and WK are saying – and I agree.

        Thing is, it cuts both ways. WK refuses to accept the corollary of his hypothesis.

        See how easily I’m able to create a corollary:

        Generally (this isn’t the case for every woman) women will be whatever men want them to be so they can reap the benefits of a relationship. The trend now is men (most men) want someone who is “hot”, stupider than they are, and laughs at all their jokes. Well, men are getting that and the consequences of that too. For those traits in their women, they have lost: intellectual engagement, morals, serious committed love, and responsibility in women. What I gather as the corollary to what WK says is that if men of influence in this country desired good women, good qualities, then the bad women would be the minority.

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        1. Oh YAY! I am so glad you understand what we are saying. i think the reason why I don’t know any bad men is because I stop talking to them and I refuse to do anything fun with people who are not interested in apologetics and policy and moral questions. I had a friend in high-school/college and I stopped talking to him the moment he moved in with his girlfriend. This was in the late-1990s. I was at a pro-life event on the weekend and lo-and-behold, his former girlfriend came up to me and said hello after 15 years. She had become a Christian and gotten married, and my friend is still, as far as we know, being a pagan. Similarly, a good computer science friend from college seems to be able to only talk about technology and gadgets, so I just don’t do anything with him either. He thinks he is a Christian, but he just won’t grow or read anything about apologetics. He is even conservative politically. But no way – I am not hanging around with men who don’t like apologetics and stuff.

          So I think that the reason that I don’t talk about why men are bad is because I shun all the bad men and only stay friends with good men. I don’t want bad men to influence me, and I don’t want to put aside our differences and just have fun with them. If they want to talk about spiritual things, fine. But I’m not going to do regular guy stuff like playing pool or playing racquetball with guys who don’t care about apologetics and moral issues.

          By the way, now that I think of it, I had the exact same experience with a girl friend from high school as I did with the guy friend. She moved in with a guy and I stopped talking to her completely. Later on, in university, she came up to me and told me that she should have listened to me because she got pregnant and had an abortion, and meanwhile he was having sex with her best friend. Look, I want to have as few friends as possible and I only choose the ones that I think will serve God. My best friends are doing amazing things for the Lord, and I just stop talking to the ones who won’t produce. Maybe I just don’t want to be giving tacit approval to their immoral lifestyles, or letting them influence me with their ideas of “normal”.

          We even had a former member of our core team marry a horrible Dan-Brown-reading postmodern, relativist universalist woman. I couldn’t get him to read anything good so I just don’t talk to him anymore. The last straw was when his wife gave him Dan Brown to read and he read it. Blech! I actually knew his wife before I met him, and she was denying Bible verses and Hell and moral judgments even back then. She always had an excuse for why she didn’t have to learn apologetics. It turned out that she just wanted to feel happy and be popular with non-Christians.

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        2. The only flaw is that today in our society you see few women caring what men want in a woman. Few women adapt to what men want. I’m not saying you don’t have a good observation, it is a good observation and it should cut both ways, however, our society is not like that. It’s not popular for women to adapt to what men want. Popularly, it’s men that should adapt to the women’s needs. So, women should want good men instead of the attractive buffoons. :)

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          1. Jared, women like attention from men. If the vast majority of men only dated good women, trust me, women would get their act together pretty quickly. But if most men give women attention based on how much they look like Barbie, then women don’t need to work on being suitable wives. The qualities that make a “hot date” don’t necessarily make a good spouse. This is true of both sexes.

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