Tag Archives: Father

The importance of being the first to frame issues for your children

Dan’s post at The Bumbling Genius on the importance of parents talking to their children FIRST about controversial issues related to Christianity is a must-read. The post drew 100 comments, so far. The post is here.

Excerpt:

The common assertion that “Christians are narrow-minded, or anti-science” is a logical fallacy called”Poisoning the Well”. Well poisoning is a preempted ad hominem attack that attempts to pre-program, or especially in this case to embed into society’s thinking a predisposition against a particular point of view.

My first exposure to the effectiveness of this tactic-from the outside looking in-occurred during discussions in my home with Jehovah’s Witnesses. It was here that I began to appreciate the persuasive power of this logical fallacy, and to develop a similar technique in teaching my own children in ways to help insulate them against this kind of mind poisoning by doing a little pre-poisoning of the well of their thinking myself. I hope to accomplish this by being the first to present the messages of our culture except that I do so under the microscope of scripture, logic, and objective truth. In this way I am the one setting the table, so to speak, for the future discussions my children will encounter involving their worldview.

Not unlike the tactics used by the JW’s and anti-Christ cultural apologist, as I teach my children I employ the key concept of “firsts.” For example: when an institution or media is the first to present a cultural issue, and also the first to present my response in a “closed-minded”, “Christian” caricatured stereotype, followed by their a pithy, high-browed, and cognitive dissonant response to that stereotype, then my children’s Well becomes poisoned against my teaching. Everything I as parent subsequently espouse may then be seen through the lens of that stereotype. On the other hand, if I am the first to present the tenets of those opposing worldviews along with a logical and realistic explanation as to why they are flawed, then I will have achieved the objective of firsts.

This is something Christian parents really need to think about. You want to inoculate your children against pressure from teachers and peers by discussing issues long before they are introduced in the classroom or the playground. And you should be on guard against other sources of sin and lies, too.

MUST-READ: Who is to blame for the hook-up culture?

I found this post over at Stuart Schneiderman’s blog.

What’s the problem anyway?

If girls are induced to make hooking up their most predominant mode of relating to boys, then they will be giving their sexual favors to a certain type of guy, one who is called a pick up artist.But what happens to another young man, the one who works hard at his studies, who is preparing himself for success in the world, who does not spend his weekend taking a course on how to pick up girls? Isn’t he going to be overlooked, and thus, devalued, by young women who are settling for hookups.

The hookup culture thus undermines a work ethic.

And if the model of the modern relationship is something called friends with benefits, what does that say about the values of commitment, loyalty, and fidelity.

Clearly, many young people have been induced to act as though these values do not matter, because they have learned the amoral lesson that it is alright for two people to exploit each other if they have agreed that they are not exploiting each other.

So how is to blame?

Meantime, Flanagan offers a useful analysis of how the hookup culture started, and how it took hold with the unintended connivance of mothers.

It began in the late 1970s with a generation of feminist mothers who had decided, quite consciously, to bring up their daughters differently.

In Flanagan’s words: “… a large number of modern mothers were committed to helping their daughters incorporate sexual lives within a normal teenage girlhood, one in which sex did not instantly and permanently cleave a girl from her home and her family.”

It might seem dated by now, but these mothers took it for granted that their daughters would experience their sexual awakening within the context of a relationship, with a boyfriend.

In her words: “This set wasn’t in the business of providing girls and young women the necessary information and services to allow boys and men to discard them sexually. Their reaction to the kinds of sexual experiences that so many American girls are now having would have been horror and indignation.”

What started out as a permission slip for teenage girls to have sex with their boyfriends morphed into the hookup culture.

Unintentionally, so.

We are dealing with unintended consequences. Feminists decided that the double standard was unjust. Mothers everywhere bought this idea and taught their daughters that they had as much of a right to sexual pleasure as any boy did. If the unintended result was the hookup culture, then surely they bear some responsibility.

It may well be that they have now learned why there is a double standard and why feminine sexuality should never be confused with masculine sexuality.

Read the whole thing. This is a must-read. I want everyone to click though and print it and read it. Please.

UPDATE: Kelli sends this link to a recent CNN column by Racquel Welch in which she attacks the birth control pill as one of the reasons for the over-sexed culture that is harming young women today. The pill is considered to be a cornerstone of feminism because it divorces sex from procreation and allows women to have sex without having to form relationships with reliable men and vulnerable children.

New talks on marrriage by Jennifer Roback Morse and Maggie Gallagher

I listened to these several times each, and they are really good. Even better than the ones I posted earlier. If you only have time for one and you’re new, listen to the Dr. Morse lecture. If you have time for both or you’ve heard Dr. Morse before, listen to the Maggie Gallagher lecture.

Cloning her would solve the marriage problem
She can teach you to defend marriage

Jennifer Roback Morse

First, this is Dr. Morse’s well-known lecture on “The Institute Formerly Known As Marriage”. She takes a look at the decline of marriage using her skills as an economist. She talks about the importance of a mother being present during the first 18 months of the child’s development, and the purpose of marriage.

The MP3 file is here.

Topics covered include children’s needs, no-fault divorce, single motherhood and same-sex marriage.

Maggie Gallagher

Maggie Gallagher

Second, here is a very Catholic talk given by Maggie Gallagher. But Maggie is one of the best known voices defending marriage and you can even learn a little bit about her background here – she had an out of wedlock child and saw firsthand the effects of having no father in the home on her son.

The MP3 file is here.

Topics covered include children’s needs, single motherhood, same-sex marriage and the marriage movement.