Study explains why university women embrace binge-drinking and hook ups

College students puking in toilet
College students throwing up after binge drinking

This study is from the Institute for American Values. Despite their name, they are not conservatives. It was done by Norval Glenn and Elizabeth Marquardt.

If you download the 88 page PDF, the first few pages are an executive summary.

There are a couple of things that really struck me about this IAV study on hooking-up.

First, this one from p. 15:

A notable feature of hook ups is that they almost always occur when both participants are drinking or drunk.

A Rutgers University student observed, “You always hear people say, oh my gosh, I was so drunk, I hooked up with so and so…” Perhaps not surprisingly, many noted that being drunk helped to loosen one’s inhibitions and make it easier to hook up. A number of students noted that being drunk could later serve as your excuse for the hook up. A Yale University student said, “Some people like hook up because they’re drunk or use being drunk as an excuse to hook up.” A New York University student observed, “[Alcohol is] just part of an excuse, so that you can say, oh, well, I was drinking.”

A Rutgers University student commented, “If you’re drinking a lot it’s easier to hook up with someone… [and] drugs, it’s kind of like a bonding thing… and then if you hook up with them and you don’t want to speak to them again, you can always blame it on the drinking or the drugs.”

Other women observed that being drunk gives a woman license to act sexually interested in public in ways that would not be tolerated if she were sober. For instance, a University of Michigan student said, “Girls are actually allowed to be a lot more sexual when they are drunk…”

A University of Chicago junior observed, “One of my best friends… sometimes that’s her goal when we go out. Like she wants to get drunk so I guess she doesn’t have to feel guilty about [hooking up].”

Some reported that drinking had led them to do things they later regretted. A University of Virginia student said, “My last random hook up was last October and it was bad. I was drunk and I just regretted it very much.”

And this one from p. 30 on the effects of hooking-up on their future commitments:

A few women did see an unambiguous connection between present relationships and future marriage.

[…]Many women either saw little or no connection between present and future relationships, or their understanding of this connection was curiously flat. A student at New York University said, “[The present and the future are] connected because I will still have the same values and principles that I have now, but I just won’t be single anymore.”A number of women said that the present and the future are connected because whatever heartache or confusion they experience now gives them lessons for the future.

A University of Michigan student said, “Early relationships prepare you for marriage because it’s like, oh, what type of person do I want to be with? Oh, I’ve had these bad experiences. Or, I’ve learned from this relationship that I should do this and I shouldn’t do this.”

A sophomore at Howard University said that “I am kind of learning from a lot of the mistakes that I have made.” At a further extreme, some women saw their future marriage as the reason to experiment widely in the present. A Rutgers University student said,“I think hooking up with different people and seeing what you like and don’t like is a good idea. Because eventually you’re going to have to… marry someone and I’d just like to know that I experienced everything.”

Although it is admirable to take risks and learn from one’s mistakes, these women would probably find it difficult to explain how having your heart broken a few or even many times in your early years — or trying to separate sex from feeling, as in hooking up — is good preparation for a trusting and happy marriage later on.

And on p. 42, we learn what women think marriage is and isn’t for:

For instance, in the on-campus interviews one student complained, “[With] marriage…you have to debate everything… Why do you need a piece of paper to bond a person to you? …But I know if I don’t get married I’ll probably feel like… [a] lonely old woman… If anything, I’d get married [because of] that.”

This student went on to say that she would be satisfied to live with a man, but added that, if the man was committed to her, he would offer to marry her, and that this was the kind of commitment that she wanted. A student at the University of Washington said,“I don’t want to get married right after I graduate from college. I just think that would stunt my growth in every way that there is. I would like to be in a very steady, committed relationship with a guy.”

And on p. 44, we learn that they like co-habitation, which increases the risk of divorce by about 50% (but they don’t know that):

In the national survey, 58 percent of the respondents agreed that “It is a good idea to live with someone before deciding to marry him.” This belief often coexists with a strong desire to marry, because it was embraced by 49 percent of the respondents who strongly agreed that marriage was a very important goal for them.

[…]Women we interviewed on campus reflected a similar range of attitudes about cohabitation. Some women thought that cohabitation was a good way to test whether one could spend a lifetime with a potential partner. In such cases, women often cited fears of divorce as the reason for trying cohabitation first. A senior at the University of Washington said, “I kind of don’t really see marriages work ever, so I want to make sure that everything’s all right before [we get married]. I don’t see how people can get married without living together because I know like I have a best friend and I live with her and we want to kill each other, like, every few months.”

Other women felt that, in an age of divorce, cohabitation was a preferable alternative to marriage. A student at New York University said, “You see so [many] people getting divorces… I just don’t see the necessity [of marriage].” She went on to say, “I think that I don’t have to be married to [the] person that I’m with…. You know like… Goldie Hawn [and Kurt Russell]? They’re not married.”

But let’s get back to the drinking and the hook-up sex…

Once a woman abandons femininity for feminism, then sex is all that she can use to get noticed by a man. Men are like hiring managers, and courting is like a job interview for the job of marriage and mothering. If a woman tries to get the job by having sex with the interviewer, he isn’t going to hire her for the marriage job, since sex has almost nothing to do with the marriage job. Men have to think about things like fidelity and mothering ability when they are choosing a wife. The problem is that thanks to feminism, women have stopped trying to show their ability to be wives and mothers to men, preferring to instead act like bad boys – no emotions, toughness, hardness, binge-drinking, promiscuity. Men may be happy to have sex with women like that, but they do not commit to them for life. They’re just looked upon as feral animals, to be pumped and dumped by every man who isn’t a Christian. And Christian men are disqualified for relationships with young feminists, because we have morals.

Moreover, if a man is constantly being offered sex from feminist women during his 20s and 30s, he basically loses all the time that he could be training for his roles as protector, provider and moral/spiritual leader. He will never take on those roles if he is handed sex before marriage for free. That is the root cause of the “man-up” complaint that women make. Why don’t men grow up? Because they don’t have to. They don’t have to do a thing to audition for husband roles, in order to get sex. They just have to be “hot” and feign liberal political views. Many (most?) teenage women are giving the bad boys oral sex on the first date now. Women aren’t looking for husbands until much later, when their effort to achieve self-esteem through slutty behavior stalls out, and they realize that the whole feminist project was futile and unsustainable.

In a previous post, I explained how feminist leaders wanted to get women to drink like men, have sex like men, and to abolish courtship and marriage. Under the influence of cultural definitions of what makes a good man and a good relationship, women began to choose men to have sex with without any consideration of morality, religion, marriage, etc. This results in a cycle of binge-drinking, one-night-stands, cheating, co-habitating, breaking-up, stalking, aborting, etc., until the woman’s ability to trust and love anyone – including herself – is completely destroyed. And yet these college women somehow believe this is is “fun” and “adventurous”, that it makes them feel “sexy”, and that the experience of being selfish and seeing the worst kind of men acting in the worst possible ways, point blank, somehow prepares them for marriage and motherhood. They are told this, and they are so unable to break out of their need to “fit in” with their peers and culture that by the time they realized they’ve been had, it’s too late to fix it. And yet, they themselves made those decisions. They are responsible, whether they intended the consequences or not. No one was stopping them from investigating what was likely to happen, if they decided to play the fool sexually.

4 thoughts on “Study explains why university women embrace binge-drinking and hook ups”

  1. I also find it interesting that even girls raised in secular style homes with no church attendance or moral teaching in schools makes them feel bad for hooking up, still need alcohol to make it ok.
    Religion isn’t to blame for making them feel bad they just do because they know what they are doing is wrong and want to live in denial. More blame passing and they put alcohol and drugs on top to cover the feelings
    Much like socialism and communism that blames all failures on the existence of capitalism. So do all the secular ideas fail and blame all implications on religion made then feel bad. If you aren’t sitting in a church every week then it had nothing to do with making you feel bad for your decisions

  2. The brain, especially the part that makes judgements, doesn’t stop developing until the mid-twenties. We spend all of their informative years when they’re supposed to be learning how to be an adult teaching them how to stay children. Then we wonder why they still live with their parents at thirty and are still on their insurance.
    Kids spend all that time learning to divorce the chemical emotional connection that comes with sex from sex and to treat all romantic relationships as temporary to be dropped at the slightest inconvenience and wonder why they can’t make a marriage last.

  3. I think there are a lot of other factors, feminism is of course a huge one.
    Start with: everyone is horny, but not everyone is taught about self-control and delayed gratification.
    It’s not just that men are horny and women are complicit partners or that women are forced into having sex.
    This was written 14 years ago: https://beta.theglobeandmail.com/life/women-who-travel-for-sex/article1341063/?ref=http://www.theglobeandmail.com&
    The mantra tends to be one of hedonism: “If it feels good [at that moment], do it.”
    Second, there are a number of organizations (Planned Parenthood, Guttmacher, anything in the list: http://www.discoverthenetworks.org/viewSubCategory.asp?id=1237) who are influencing and encouraging teens and young adults to engage in ‘safe sex’. Even the former administration cut abstinence-only programs in both 2009 ( http://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/on-women/2009/05/07/obama-budget-eliminates-funding-for-abstinence-only-sex-education ) and 2016 wrote them out of the budget completely. (While this is a rabbit trail I don’t want to pursue, I will say that some small goals of abstinence education were excellent, such as: encouraging teens to develop self-esteem, allowing abstinence as being viewed as a viable alternative, focusing on developing friendships and relationships, and delaying the age of first sexual experience. It’s not the silver bullet.)
    Ironically, when men who are fathers actually take an interest in their unborn children and decide to man up and be a father and a husband, protector and provider and teacher, this very choice of choosing life ends up changing the man for the better.
    Third: Of course the media (Hollywood, sitcoms, etc.) portray that sexual behavior is “the norm” and that abstinence is not — and is sometimes made fun of.
    Are there any positive portrayals of those who practice chastity or are abstinent? I can’t think of any. Furthermore, are there realistic portrayals of consequences of engaging in sexual behavior? e.g., I’ve read some feminist books that portray that “a one-night stand will make you feel ten times as bad as just getting plastered with alcohol.” I read plenty of data columns where women enter into a “Friends With Benefits” (the popular term of “regular source of sex, intended [usually by the man] with no strings attached”) developing feelings for the man. Or these same dating columns where the man says all the ‘right’ things to get a woman into bed and then suddenly she’s ghosted (he got what he wanted) — and this is particularly hurtful. They feel used and discarded. They may have bared themselves completely — even sexually — and were discarded, made to feel like even that was not enough.
    It also seems that many women do ultimately desire to be married (it is a little challenging to have kids and raise kids with someone who may or may not be there). However, I don’t think it dawns on them that hookups and cohabitation actually hurt their chances of being married and actually hurts their marriage.
    You’ve probably also heard the joke:
    Q: What do you call a conservative?
    A: A liberal with teenage kids.
    It used to be the saying that young men (and now young men AND women) go off to college ‘to sow their wild oats.’ Unfortunately people don’t understand (furthering memytym’s comment about the brain not fully developing discernment until their mid-20’s) that what one does as an adult — you’re setting up paradigms and patterns of behaviors for the rest of your life. I’ve seen plenty of people who hooked up in college, hooked up after college, all the way continuing onward to even midlife or later.
    Of course I have to put some degree of blame on permissive parents. I was reading about the trial of one Owen Labrie (a once Harvard-bound student at St. Paul’s School — a very expensive, secluded, private boarding school in New Hampshire) and this also became adapted into a Law and Order: Special Victims Unit episode (a show my wife loves, and I immediately recognized the Labrie inspiration in the episode). [Labrie eventually had his acceptance rescinded.] But in any case — in reading the peanut gallery (the comments section) when the news first broke, I noted a number of very permissive parents who even said things like, “I packed my daughter off with a large box of condoms and said, ‘Have fun, practice safe sex.’”
    EGADS!!!! What kind of parenting is this?! What if there were more parents who would lay out the consequences and the data …
    And of course, you’ve had my comments regarding alcohol, basically as an excuse for their behaviors: https://winteryknight.com/2017/03/23/what-do-college-students-achieve-by-participating-in-the-hook-up-culture/

  4. Plus just health issues alone sex diseases and general sickness can result.

    I am never excited to use some public restrooms. But I view having random sex as not much healthier than taking a chance on a dirty nasty toilet and hoping you don’t pick anything up.

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