Can recreational sex turn a selfish, irresponsible man into a marriage-minded provider?

Man helping a woman with proper handgun marksmanship
Man helping a woman with proper handgun marksmanship

An article from the American Thinker answers the question that vexes many men. As you read this excerpt below, ask yourself if it is a man or a woman writing this.

First of all, liberal women seem to be having an awful lot of sex these days. They are losing their virginity early, and working their way through as many “alpha males” as possible, but all the while they insist that a stream of recreational-sex relationships is somehow a path to lifelong married love. Can you turn a man who wants nothing more than recreational sex into the perfect husband, simply by invoking the magical power of vagina?

Liberal women think that you can:

On the one hand, liberal women believe wholeheartedly in the idiotic social construct they call, “sexual liberation.”  They pride themselves on losing their virginity, as though that “accomplishment” had ever been above the challenge-scale of an alley cat in heat.

These liberal women I’ve known, having given away their female V-card over and over and over again, all the while scour their host of intimate “trial runs” searching for that mythical, Hollywood-construct, Mr. Right.  This Mr. Right guy, for whom they are searching, is known to them up front as even more sexually-liberated than they, but this little factoid seems not to register in their liberated little heads as they frantically search for the equally mythical family home with the white picket fence, which somehow never gets hit by any of life’s roving tornadoes.  One can almost hear them say in unison, “And they all lived happily ever after.”

I think it’s one of the deepest mysteries of the world why women think that a man who has lots and lots of recreational sex is somehow marriage material. When I think of men who are qualified for marriage, I think of men who have studied hard subjects, gotten marketable skills, worked and worked, saved and saved, and shown that they can be faithful in marriage by exhibiting self-control in the courtship. But liberal women think that all of this reasoning is junk, and you must just jump right into sex to see if the relationship will “work out” or to find out what you “like”. Recreational sex, they insist, is a superior way of finding a husband. Discussing who will do what in an actual marriage and what the actual marriage is for is apparently ineffective.

More:

Evidently, the liberal woman is capable of the most severe form of psychological denial known to humankind.  Certain that one of the men with whom she has copulated without strings will suddenly morph into a faithfully monogamous creature the minute she can convince one of them to say “I do” in front of a few witnesses, the liberal woman marches blindly down the aisle towards near-certain, adulterous doom.  Yet, no amount of honest reason can dissuade liberal women from this self-destructive, moral myopia.

What other term but “morally schizoid” could possibly describe this blatantly contradictory tendency among liberal women?

Having spent their youth casually throwing their own sexual morality to the winds of fairytale “liberation,” these liberal women still steadfastly cling to the faithfully monogamous ideal for that sometime-later moment when they actually do desire all the traditional things — the husband, the kids, the white picket fence — those pesky female-nature embedded longings, which coincidentally ensure the continuation of the human race.

But these liberal women somehow — in perfect schizoid manner — convince themselves that once married, they will be the gratuitous beneficiaries of the monogamous respect they still desire, but have never once demanded or deserved.  Intuitively, women know that strict monogamy provides the only real security for themselves and their own offspring.  Yet, they continue themselves to spurn the demands of monogamy until the very last minute, believing that fidelity springs forth naturally in miraculous profusion among all “married” humans.  Such pure poppycock can only be explained as a mental disorder.

I think women need to ask themselves questions honestly and rationally:

  • can recreational sex make an unemployed man get a job?
  • can recreational sex make a violent man be courteous and respectful?
  • can recreational sex make an atheist turn into a Christian?
  • can recreational sex make a male slut stay faithful?
  • can recreational sex make wastefulness turn into frugality?
  • can recreational sex make laziness turn into diligence?
  • can recreational sex make irresponsibility turn into commitment?

Marriages last because both partners have prepared themselves for self-sacrifice, rational discussions, problem solving and cooperation.

Previously, I provided the male perspective on liberal women’s poor decision-making about men and marriage. Read the article from the American Thinker (written by a woman), then read mine.

2 thoughts on “Can recreational sex turn a selfish, irresponsible man into a marriage-minded provider?”

  1. I saw that one Mr. Clinton Wilcox was reading a book and made a post on a similar topic:

    “Delayed marriage is particularly hard on young women. Dr. Mark Regnerus explains why with a model called ‘the Economics of Sex.’ Economics is about supply and demand. Men tend to have a demand for sex, but women, who control the supply, are able to decide how much they have to pay for it. When the supply of sex isn’t kept low through social expectations of chastity and marriage, men can have it without having to grow up, get married, or be employed. In other words, sex becomes a cheap commodity. Women are pressured to give in sexually to obtain what they demand, such as relational security.”
    –John Stonestreet and Brett Kunkle, A Practical Guide to Culture: Helping the Next Generation Navigate Today’s World, David C. Cook, Colorado Springs, CO, 2017, pp. 134-135.

    Of course it could be said more succinctly: if we use the adage that men use love to get sex, and women use sex to get love — if sex becomes extremely commonplace and cheap, then it takes a very large amount of sex to get very little love. In other words: those who want to transact when the conditions are like this, women think they have to give up a lot of sex to even demand relational security. And then maybe even not that.

    For the record, I’m a Christian and I’m happily married (and completely monogamous and faithful). I’m not trying to fish. But I do like to read what people who aren’t like me are thinking and what they’re doing. Or maybe I have a sense of schadefreude or something. In any case, I occasionally read popular romance columnist Meredith Goldstein writes, especially for the comments.

    Just yesterday, this letter appeared: https://loveletters.boston.com/2017/06/13177.html#comments

    15 second summary: Woman decides to become Friends With Benefits. She’s now questioning the arrangement.

    What of course is obvious is that many women I might content most women) cannot just have sex in this “Friends With Benefits”. Even male pickup artists have admitted that “sex with no strings attached” or one-night / multiple-night stands is far less fulfilling than say, sex with commitment, or sex with someone with whom you have a connection. And of course, the stronger the connection, in general, the more fulfilling.

    In any case, I digress. For whatever reasons, in general, women tend to desire a relationship and/or want romance, even think they are in love, after they have had sex — even with a one-night stand.

    Most non-Christian women that I know who fall into faulty thinking aren’t trying to discern characteristics of stable men.

    For instance, f7677’s comment at June 26, 2017 — 09:32 AM, you will find that she admits that she wants to bang men with whom she’s already found red flags. She will enter FWB with losers / non-dating material. She won’t become FWB with men who are dating material. Does this person sound like a girl you’d like to take home?

    (And before any readers starts to decry ‘double-standard’, I was chaste and celibate before I got married and wedding night was our first night.)

    My sense is that everyone is horny. Some people have bought into the ideas (I would contend: these lies) that “sex is no big deal” and “a right of passage into adulthood” and “having a v-card is not cool.” Many of these non-Christian modern women just think that sex is part and parcel of minimally relationships and some even believe it is part and parcel with dating. And most of them are unwilling to play by different rules or by a different socio-economic system. Furthermore, in their decision making to enter into relationships women often decide whether they feel/have the hots for whatever guy (whether the guy is employed or not, whether the guy is responsible or not).

    And I’ll be blunt. The women are not innocent victims in this.

    Both an atheist and a Christian agreed to this statement on Mr. C. Wilcox’s post:
    “Now, there is no doubt that the sexual revolution has been disastrous to women. But it has been much more disastrous to men—and most importantly, while this has been *enabled* by men, it has been *driven* by women. Women are not pressured into sex—they are the ones pressuring for more sexual liberation, as anyone familiar with hookup culture and feminism at large will tell you. That is a major impetus behind abortion and free birth control. While there are some men who take full advantage of this, they are not the ones *driving* the rebellion.” (not my quote)

    In any case, I don’t want to go down this rabbit trail — but just to point out that women DO have a choice.

    I may post a bit more later.

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