Tag Archives: Men

News

Interview with Dr. Laura about the proper care and feeding of husbands

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An interview with the author on the Harper Collins web site.

Excerpt:

Why did you write this book aiming at the women — aren’t both responsible for the quality of the marriage?Of course! However, women are in the unique position of having an extraordinary amount of influence over their husbands, which when exercised thoughtfully, compassionately, lovingly, and intelligently results in a happier husband who will ‘swim through shark infested waters to bring her a lemonade.’ Women seem not to understand, or underestimate, the profound power they have over their husbands. Men are very emotionally dependent upon women from the day they are born to the day they expire. This book teaches women to use this power benevolently — which will definitely result in them being happier with life and love.

What are the most common complaints men have about their wives?

  • Their women don’t seem to have much regard for their feelings and needs
  • Their women constantly criticize and dismiss them
  • Their women don’t seem to want to go out of their way to please them
  • Their women nag, demand, and complain — and seem to behave as though they were entitled to do so
  • Their women don’t make them feel truly needed and valued as men

What are husbands’ most important needs?

  • He wants to feel like a “man” to his woman; he wants to feel that he is providing and protecting
  • He wants to feel that she needs and admires him
  • He wants to know that she desires him
  • Basically, The Three A’s: appreciation, approval, and affection

This is my favorite practical book on marriage. I read it because I am always interested in understanding what it is like to be a married man, and what I should be looking out for from women during courtship. I want to know what I should be looking for in a woman to make sure that I am properly cared for and fed if I become a husband. I think every woman should read it in order to understand how to relate to men. It’s like an owner’s manual for men! The book sold bazillions of copies. Has anyone else read this book other than me and found it useful?

News

MUST-READ: A good example of a mother parenting her boys

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I have such a good story to tell you all from the dentist’s office. I was in the waiting room waiting to be called in this morning, and this woman came in with 3 boys. They seemed to be 2,3 and 5. The two youngest boys started climbing on furniture and the oldest boy started getting interested in the computer in the lobby. The mother told the boys not to start anything big because they were leaving right away.  Then she went to talk to the receptionist.

The youngest boys kept playing on the chairs, but the oldest boy was trying to figure out how to make icons open on the desktop of the Windows PC. Meanwhile, the mother got a document from the receptionist, and then she called to the boys that it was time to leave. The two youngest boys stopped climbing on chairs and they ran over to her, but the oldest was trying to figure out the computer. And do you know what the mother did?

(Try to think what you would do in this situation before continuing to read)

Well, she said to the eldest boy in a normal voice:

“Hey we’re all leaving to go out to the car now and I need you to carry this important document for me so that it doesn’t get bent or lost on the way to the car.”

The kid just shot out of his seat, raced over to her and took the document carefully from her with both hands. And out they went, with the two youngest boys trying to push the door open for her.

Anyway, I just want to say that I want to have a son or two, and I want to see my wife treat my boys like that. I want her to understand men so well that she can get them to do what they ought to do for her (and for other women) without nagging, controlling or threatening. This is how women get men to do what is good for men.

This was perfect mothering. She understands how to appeal to the male nature. In time, those boys will grow up to trust women. They will find serving women natural. She is already treating them like grown men, instead of little boys! She’s not ordering around – she’s appealing to their male natures – their desire to be depended on and trusted by women. Women need to do a better job of studying men so they know how to do this.

I once saw Andrew’s wife Jen resisting being hugged by her eldest son and telling him to go to his father. He was at the age when he needed to start to do that – she knew all about it because she’s read books like “Bringing Up Boys” by James Dobson. She’s a well-informed professional stay-at-home mother. And her husband loves her and appreciates her very much! Their children are amazing because they have a plan for how to bring them up.

Commentary

MUST-READ: Who is to blame for the hook-up culture?

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I found this post over at Stuart Schneiderman’s blog.

What’s the problem anyway?

If girls are induced to make hooking up their most predominant mode of relating to boys, then they will be giving their sexual favors to a certain type of guy, one who is called a pick up artist.But what happens to another young man, the one who works hard at his studies, who is preparing himself for success in the world, who does not spend his weekend taking a course on how to pick up girls? Isn’t he going to be overlooked, and thus, devalued, by young women who are settling for hookups.

The hookup culture thus undermines a work ethic.

And if the model of the modern relationship is something called friends with benefits, what does that say about the values of commitment, loyalty, and fidelity.

Clearly, many young people have been induced to act as though these values do not matter, because they have learned the amoral lesson that it is alright for two people to exploit each other if they have agreed that they are not exploiting each other.

So how is to blame?

Meantime, Flanagan offers a useful analysis of how the hookup culture started, and how it took hold with the unintended connivance of mothers.

It began in the late 1970s with a generation of feminist mothers who had decided, quite consciously, to bring up their daughters differently.

In Flanagan’s words: “… a large number of modern mothers were committed to helping their daughters incorporate sexual lives within a normal teenage girlhood, one in which sex did not instantly and permanently cleave a girl from her home and her family.”

It might seem dated by now, but these mothers took it for granted that their daughters would experience their sexual awakening within the context of a relationship, with a boyfriend.

In her words: “This set wasn’t in the business of providing girls and young women the necessary information and services to allow boys and men to discard them sexually. Their reaction to the kinds of sexual experiences that so many American girls are now having would have been horror and indignation.”

What started out as a permission slip for teenage girls to have sex with their boyfriends morphed into the hookup culture.

Unintentionally, so.

We are dealing with unintended consequences. Feminists decided that the double standard was unjust. Mothers everywhere bought this idea and taught their daughters that they had as much of a right to sexual pleasure as any boy did. If the unintended result was the hookup culture, then surely they bear some responsibility.

It may well be that they have now learned why there is a double standard and why feminine sexuality should never be confused with masculine sexuality.

Read the whole thing. This is a must-read. I want everyone to click though and print it and read it. Please.

UPDATE: Kelli sends this link to a recent CNN column by Racquel Welch in which she attacks the birth control pill as one of the reasons for the over-sexed culture that is harming young women today. The pill is considered to be a cornerstone of feminism because it divorces sex from procreation and allows women to have sex without having to form relationships with reliable men and vulnerable children.