Tag Archives: Self-Control

Captain Capitalism explains why friends don’t let friends marry

Apologetics? NEENER NEENER NEENER!
Apologetics?! NEENER NEENER NEENER!

This is pretty funny, especially because it’s totally true.

Excerpt:

The end came on a Saturday evening. It wasn’t late. It wasn’t too early and I called him up. I said, “Hey, John, let’s go down to the Dubliner and get a beer.”

The Dubliner being an Irish joint literally 3 blocks from his house.

Over the phone he said, “I don’t know, it’s Saturday night and I’m pretty busy.”

“Busy!?” I said, “What do you mean busy?! Come on, it’s 3 blocks from your house, it’ll take all of 30 minutes to have a beer. Let’s go.”

“Hang on, let me ask my fiancé (he liked to call her his fiancé)”

So in the background I hear his lower toned male voice mumbling, asking his beloved if he could go out and get a beer, Murmur murmur murmur murmur?

And in return I heard her Beaker-esque (from the Muppets) high pitch voice respond;

“Neener neener neener neneer neen?”

Then I heard my friend say,

“The Captain.”

And then in vehement response the girl saying;

“THE CAPTAIN! NEENER NEENER NEENER NEENER NEENER NEEEEEEE!!!!”

Soon he came back on the phone and said, “I’m sorry, we’re hanging a pot rack tonight.”

I sat there thinking to myself, “Woooooow. This guy is completely 100% castrated.”

I said, “Pot rack? A pot rack? Can you postpone the great hanging of the pot rack?”

“No, we’ve been meaning to hang this for a while, and you know how long these projects take.”

Read the whole thing, and remember 1 Corinthians 7. For Christian men, it’s not beer that we would be giving up – it’s Christian apologetics. Most Christian women I know think that apologetics is divisive and exclusive.