Tag Archives: Preparation

Commentary

What is the value proposition for a Christian man considering marriage?

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Basically, I think that my job as husband and father is:

  1. to make sure that I focus on being a good protector, provider and moral spiritual leader by making good decisions and setting aside time to learn how to defend my views on religion and morality
  2. to make sure that I am aware of areas where God has an interest, like the abortion debate, the marriage debate, the debate over the origin of the universe, the debate over biological origins, the debate over free markets vs secular socialism, the debate over religious liberty and family vs fascism, etc.
  3. to make sure that I am aware of the skills, arguments and evidence that are related to these trouble areas
  4. to make sure that I assess the skills and capabilities of my future children
  5. to choose a wife who is aware of these problem areas and the relevant skills
  6. assess the skills and capabilities of the children
  7. communicate to them the areas where Christianity is under fire
  8. demonstrate to the children how much these areas matter to their parents
  9. together with my future wife, to steer the future children into degrees and careers that will move the ball forward in these areas.
  10. act intentionally to ensure that they achieve influence in the problem areas as effectively as possible

I don’t think that it is Dad’s job to just roll over and pay for a wife and several children unless the wife agrees with me to try and achieve something together that we could not achieve as singles. I.e. – I think that if we have a child, then we should NOT be as happy if the child is a poet as we would be if the child is Chief Justice of the Supreme Court or William Lane Craig. I think that some things that a child can be are more influential than others, and that children should be jointly steered in the direction of being influential and effective as a way of making the marriage count for the Lord. And I think the Bible supports the idea of stewardship and making the most of gifts and blessings.

So I don’t feel that I am obligated to marry unless I can foresee that my wife is serious about making the marriage, family and children count for God. If I don’t foresee a return on the investment, which is quite risky for the man given the feminism and socialism in the laws and tax codes, then wouldn’t I be better off just working and giving the money away to Christian speakers for apologetics speaking and debating? Children typically cost $250,000 and stay-at-home moms are expensive too. Is it worth it to have a wife who doesn’t agree with me on the purpose of the marriage and the parenting? Am I supposed to hand her hundreds of thousands of dollars and get nothing at all back to show for it?

I think the fundamental question is this: What is the purpose of marriage for men, and how should a prospective wife present herself to a man who wants the marriage and the children to count for the Lord? How can she show that she is aware of what he is planning and show that she has taken steps to help him to achieve results for God, instead of just making herself happy? How can she show that there a difference between a child being a good student and a bad student? How can she show that there a difference between writing poetry and being an ADF lawyer?

Are some directions more likely to have an influence on the culture than others? Is the role of parents to produce a return for the blessings that God has given them, or are they just supposed to let children do whatever makes them happy, so that the parents will be happy and be their children’s friends? I think what it boils down to is this: should Christian parents steer their children to be William Lane Craig or Michele Bachmann on purpose, or should they just let them be poets if that’s what makes the children happy?

Mentoring

The importance of being the first to frame issues for your children

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Dan’s post at The Bumbling Genius on the importance of parents talking to their children FIRST about controversial issues related to Christianity is a must-read. The post drew 100 comments, so far. The post is here.

Excerpt:

The common assertion that “Christians are narrow-minded, or anti-science” is a logical fallacy called”Poisoning the Well”. Well poisoning is a preempted ad hominem attack that attempts to pre-program, or especially in this case to embed into society’s thinking a predisposition against a particular point of view.

My first exposure to the effectiveness of this tactic-from the outside looking in-occurred during discussions in my home with Jehovah’s Witnesses. It was here that I began to appreciate the persuasive power of this logical fallacy, and to develop a similar technique in teaching my own children in ways to help insulate them against this kind of mind poisoning by doing a little pre-poisoning of the well of their thinking myself. I hope to accomplish this by being the first to present the messages of our culture except that I do so under the microscope of scripture, logic, and objective truth. In this way I am the one setting the table, so to speak, for the future discussions my children will encounter involving their worldview.

Not unlike the tactics used by the JW’s and anti-Christ cultural apologist, as I teach my children I employ the key concept of “firsts.” For example: when an institution or media is the first to present a cultural issue, and also the first to present my response in a “closed-minded”, “Christian” caricatured stereotype, followed by their a pithy, high-browed, and cognitive dissonant response to that stereotype, then my children’s Well becomes poisoned against my teaching. Everything I as parent subsequently espouse may then be seen through the lens of that stereotype. On the other hand, if I am the first to present the tenets of those opposing worldviews along with a logical and realistic explanation as to why they are flawed, then I will have achieved the objective of firsts.

This is something Christian parents really need to think about. You want to inoculate your children against pressure from teachers and peers by discussing issues long before they are introduced in the classroom or the playground. And you should be on guard against other sources of sin and lies, too.

Mentoring

Neil Simpson stole all of the stories that I was going to blog about

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Now what am I supposed to do?

You can read a bunch of the stories I was going to write about here in Neil Simpson’s round-up posted on Neil’s blog by Neil, (along with some other stories of interest that I missed!).

What should I do instead of blogging, then?

Well, nothing for me to do now. (I write these posts the night before they go up and schedule them, so it’s late Wednesday night right now)

I guess I’ll go play King’s Bounty: The Legend. (H/T ECM)

Here’s the trailer:

That track is called “Glory Ride”.

This week is “monitor my co-workers’ worldviews” week, so I am taking all my co-workers out for one-on-one lunches to monitor their worldviews, with a different co-worker every day this week. Today’s atheist and I discussed religious pluralism and Brit Hume’s evangelism. I pick the best people to have as non-Christian friends – every one is solid and engaging. I wish you all could see how much fun they are to talk to. Way more fun than the typical Christian you meet in church after the service!

Anyway, while walking up to my office after the lunch, I was humming the “Glory Ride” theme from King’s Bounty, because having relationships with non-Christians and talking about controversial things is dangerous and heroic, . If we had more Christians who could be friends with the people who are causing all these problems in high places, we would not be in this mess. We just need to study harder so that we have the confidence to speak up and connect Christianity to the issues of the day, e.g. – Brit Hume and religious pluralism.