Tag Archives: Family

News

New study finds abused children more likely to be gay or bisexual

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The study was done by Otago University in New Zealand. (H/T Glenn Peoples of Beretta blog)

Excerpt:

Otago University researcher associate professor Elisabeth Wells has looked at the connection between adverse childhood events and sexuality and found those who experienced trauma were significantly more likely to be non-heterosexual.

The study used results from the New Zealand Mental Health Survey, which surveyed almost 13,000 people aged over 16 between 2003 and 2004.

Participants were asked whether they thought of themselves as bisexual, heterosexual or homosexual and if they had same-sex sexual experiences or relationships.

Less than one per cent of people identified themselves as homosexual, but three per cent had a same-sex encounter.

Wells said the more “adverse events” experienced in childhood – including sexual assault, rape and domestic violence – the more likely the person identified with one of the non-exclusively heterosexual groups.

She said most people from disturbed backgrounds were heterosexual.

However, the study showed a clear relationship between negative events in childhood and homosexual or bisexual relationships later in life.

This Otagu University seems to be doing a lot of cutting edge research on social issues. Last year, I blogged about their study about the mental harm suffered by women after their abortions. I actually got hold of that paper (using my Wintery powers) in case I ever needed to use it while discussing abortion.

I actually studied the issue of what causes homosexuality and whether it can be repaired using therapy a while back using books by medical doctors like Jeffrey Satinover and Joseph Nicolosi. (Nicolosi’s new book is here) It turns out that there are some genetic factors that make homosexuality more likely, but the real causes are environmental, e.g. – sexual abuse during childhood or failure to bond emotionally with the same-sex parent.

I wonder how many people actually go after the research when forming their opinions on issues like abortion and same-sex marriage? I always head straight for the research and debates. I think that my opponents prefer personal attacks and speech codes!

Comments to this post will be strictly filtered to stay clear of Obama’s laws restricting free speech on controversial issues.

Commentary

Women should read “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands”

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Here’s a Christian woman’s review of Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s famous book.

Excerpt:

“No emotional outlet is worth damaging my husband’s reputation,” shared one of Dr. Laura’s listeners named Becky. Another named Melissa told how she had begun bragging on her husband whenever her girlfriends started griping about theirs. Melissa said, “As much as men’s bellies need to be filled with delicious home-cooked meals, their egoes need to be filled with ‘yummy food’ as well. I have found that if I speak blessings about my husband, then blessings are what I get in return.”

And:

Dr. Laura reiterates over and over that a wife’s approval is like oxygen to a husband, her disapproval like emasculation. A listener named Bill wrote, “Words are a whisper, but what she does for me is a thunder.” And Dr. Laura says, “There are only so many hours in a day and only so much we can put our energies into. We have to make choices. And if you don’t pick your husband as #1, that favor will, sadly, be returned.”

Words of encouragement are extremely important to a man, especially when they are spoken in public to other people in front of her man. Words of encouragement are non-negotiable for a man – he needs to hear them when he does good things for his woman. A good rule of thumb is that a woman should never criticize a man in public, and she should never criticize a man to another women behind his back for silly things. Even if he never finds out what she is doing by blaming and criticizing him for trivialities, it poisons the relationship and undermines the goodness of men to her female friends.

Here’s an excerpt from the excerpt of the book:

“A good man is hard to find, not to keep.” That sentence should really make you stop and think. As a radio talk-show host/psychotherapist, I’ve got to tell you how remarkably true and sad it is that so many women struggle to hold on to some jerk, keep giving an abusive or philandering man yet another chance, have unprotected sex with some guy while barely knowing his last name, agree to shack up and risk making babies with some opportunist or loser, all in a pathetic version of a pursuit for love, but will resent the hell out of treating a decent, hardworking, caring husband with the thoughtfulness, attention, respect, and affection he needs to be content.

It boggles my mind.

What further puts me in boggle overdrive is how seemingly oblivious and insensitive many women are to how destructive they are being to their men and consequently to their marriages. Women will call me asking me if it’s alright to go off on extended vacations “without him” when they want some freedom or R&R, or if it’s okay to cut him off from sex because they’re annoyed about something or just too tired from their busy day, or if they really have to make him a dinner when he gets home from work because it’s just too tedious to plan meals, or if it’s okay to keep stuff from him (like family or financial issues) because his input is unnecessary, or if they’re really obligated to spend time with his family (in-laws or stepkids), or if they really have to show interest in his hobbies when they’re bored silly by them, or — well, you get the idea.

If a women loves a man, then she has to treat him like a car and change his oil and put gas in his tank, and inflate his tires. If the owner doesn’t work hard at maintaining the car, then the car breaks down and the owner is unhappy. And cars – no matter what kind they are – all need certain things from the owner in order to make them work – there is no car in the world that can work for very long unless the owner takes care of it. It does no good to worry about tall cars and short cars, rich cars and poor cars, cars that can cook and cars that can’t kiss. In the end, no car can survive long with an owner who neglects it.

In the long run, it is the owner (the woman) who will decide whether the man works or not – her own maintenance skills are more important than the type of man it is. She is responsible for making a commitment to a man and then keeping him in working condition by her own choices. And this is especially true for Christian women, who are supposed to love self-sacrificially. What else is a husband for except to reflect the love of Christ to him more than any other person on the planet? Really the woman is responsible for the health of the relationship – men are naturally good when they are properly maintained.

(I once spun out my roadster and blew out two tires by running up a curb because I neglected to rotate the tires for TWO YEARS and then decided to try powersliding at high speed – it was all my fault! They were Bridgestone Potenza S-03 Pole Positions, but even those won’t save you if you don’t rotate them for two years! And what about the time I bought four Bridgestone Blizzaks for my winter car and didn’t rotate them for a year so that the front ones were almost worn out and the rear ones were practically new! And I probably blamed the car at first – even though it was all my fault for being lazy)

PCF Husbands is my favorite book on marriage, because it’s the best. Everything she says about men and marriage is 100% true. For a woman who wants a man to love her well, this is the first book to read in order to learn how to love him well. And that is how she can reap the benefits of a good man’s love – by taking responsibility for making good decisions.

If you like this post, be sure and check Arlemagne’s post on “The Evils of Sentimentality” on RuthBlog. There’s an easter egg in it.

Commentary

Greg Koukl’s plan for raising his kids to be effective Christians

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Here’s a neat post from Stand to Reason.

First, the introduction:

Last weekend I was in Ottawa, Canada, speaking at the Metropolitan Bible Church. While I was there I met a number of fellows who were dads, and we spent an afternoon at a barbecue, talking about raising our children in the Lord. We have a responsibility to do this. We cannot just pawn it off on teachers, or Sunday school teachers, or our pastor, or a Christian school, if we have one. They can help, but it is our primary job to raise our children in the Lord.

And here’s an excerpt:

There’s another thing that I’m doing to teach my kids theological content that is more of a guideline than a program. I think a lot of times people like me, and maybe you, want to have a program. Sometimes we think if we don’t have a program we’re not being good parents. But even if you don’t have a program, it’s good to have a plan. One thing I’ve been using is a concept that I’ve been developing the last few years. I call it Credo, “I believe.” Credo consists of five words that capture the entire Christian worldview, and I think when I give you the words, you’ll see the relationship between them. Here they are: God, Man, Jesus, Cross, Resurrection. And here, by “resurrection” I mean the final resurrection to reward or judgment, the eschatological last things. I don’t mean any particular understanding of Jesus’ second coming; I mean that there will be a final day of reckoning. History is moving towards that point.

These five words capture the essence of the story of Christianity, starting with God, then man,then the fall. Then God invading the world–the physical world–by becoming a man Himself as part of a plan to die on a cross to rescue man, so that at the final resurrection they will be numbered among the sheep and not among the goats. This is the Christian story in five words.

Read the whole thing – he explains his program.