Here is a story from Canada that shows why we need to be careful about enacting compassionate, non-judgmental, feminized social policies.The more you reduce the male role and male authority in the family, the fewer men will want to take on the responsibilities of being a Dad. We need to be careful not to replace husbands and fathers with big government social programs and intrusive, anti-male courts.
A Gatineau father lost an appeal Monday after a lower court ruled last June that he had issued a too severe punishment against his 12-year-old daughter.
The case involves a divorced man who says that in 2008 he caught the girl, over whom he had custody, surfing websites he had forbidden and posting “inappropriate pictures of herself” online. The girl’s father told her as a consequence that she would not be allowed to go on her class’ graduation trip to Quebec City, even though her mother had already given permission for her to do so.
The girl then contacted a legal-aid lawyer who was involved in the parents’ custody battle, who convinced the court to order that the girl be allowed to go on the trip with her class. The father appealed the decision on principle, although his daughter went on the trip in the meantime.
The appeals court reportedly warned in its ruling that the case should not be seen as an open invitation for children to take legal action against their parents when grounded.
The girl now lives with her mother.
You may think that this would be overturned on appeal, but the father LOST his appeal, too.
So, what the daughter, wife, prosecuting attorney and judge (all feminists?) are all telling this Dad that he can donate sperm, pay bills, and pay taxes for feminist social programs, but that he cannot PARENT his own children. Somehow, the idea that certain victim groups should have complete autonomy from moral standards, moral judgment and from the consequences of their actions has been enshrined into the law and the government.
- Does anyone care what men want, or should we just be ordered around like little boys?
- Do we really think that state coercion is going to make men be more involved with their marriages and children?
I think that marriage should allow men to express themselves as fathers, just as much as women can express themselves as mothers. Parenting should be an equally shared responsibility, and the father should have as much parental authority as the mother. Equality.
Compassion vs standards
Here is a pretty good article by Jewish scholar Dennis Prager that argues against compassion and for moral standards. He tells a story of a team losing a baseball game 24-7, when the scoreboard is reset to 0-0 DURING THE GAME. He then asks what beliefs would motivate this action.
As is happening throughout America, compassion trumped all other values.
Truth was the first value compassion trashed. In the name of compassion, the adults in charge decided to lie. The score was not 0-0; it was 24-7.
Wisdom was the second value compassion obliterated. It is unwise to the point of imbecilic to believe that the losing boys were in any way helped by changing the score. On the contrary, they learned lessons that will hamper their ability to mature.
He lists the lessons that the winning and losing boys learned from this compassionate act, and how they will act in the future. Then he continues his list.
Building character was the third value trumped by compassion. People build character far more through handling defeat than through winning. The human being grows up only when forced to deal with disappointment. We remain children until the day we take full responsibility for our lives.
…The fourth value that compassion denied here was fairness. It is remarkable how often compassion-based liberals speak of “fairness” in formulating social policy given how unfair so many of their policies are. It was entirely unfair to the winning team to have their score expunged, all their work denied. But for the compassion-first crowd, the winning team is like “the rich” who earn “too much” and should therefore be penalized with a higher tax rate; the winning team scored “too many” runs to be allowed to keep them all.
The standards that are undermined by compassion can be moral standards or standards of rationality. The former is under attack from moral relativism, and the latter is under attach from postmodernism. But I guess parents don’t really care enough to teach their children about these ideas, and when the children grow up, they vote for the policies that follow from moral relativism and postmodernism: policies of the secular left.
Recall that in my survey of atheists, the guiding principle was not truth, but happiness. Atheists want to feel happy, not to feel obligated to find out the way the world really is, and then to adjust their conduct to this truth. Even if Christianity were proven true, and they were then faced with rational and moral obligations, they would not feel obligated – they would continue to please themselves as before, anyway.
UPDATE: ECM send me two additional stories:
- David Warren reflects on how women will suffer most from the feminization of society
- Michael Wilson writes about how government encourages the breakdown of the family
This week, I blogged about a new study that shows the importance of fathers to the development of children.
Recently, I blogged about how government intrudes into the family and about the myth of “dead-beat Dads”. And about how the feminist state’s discrimination against male teachers is negatively impacting young men. And there is my series on how Democrat policies discourage marriage: Part 1 is here and Part 2 is here and Part 3 is here.
4 thoughts on “12-year-old girl sues Dad for grounding her… and wins!”
That girl should have been grounded for the rest of the semester (at least), had her computer taken away entirely, and be given extra chores to the point that she’s not at leisure to think up ways to be an obnoxious, entitled brat. The way men are cut out of the parenting process is infuriating.
A friend of mine – who fought bitterly to remain involved with his daughter’s life after he and his wife divorced – runs a statewide men’s group for father’s rights. At every turn, state and federal government devise new ways to punish them. It dives me wild. Now an anecdote… I was in the drugstore selecting a father’s day card for my husband and overheard two teens picking out cards for their dads.
1: Heh – they don’t have a card that says ‘thanks for the sperm donation.’
2: How about one that says, ‘thanks for taking me to the movies last year, I really enjoyed it!’
Heartbreaking… but I was sooo tempted to take a minute to tell them that, while I don’t know their personal situations, there are normally two sides to the story. I know too many men who have been crushed, post-divorce, by angry, bitter women who have the weight of the government and society on their side. I don’t completely blame men for throwing in the towel.
Wow! Thanks for the comment Laura! I agree 100% with what you said.
I think there is something to be said about men being to partly to blame. Men these days are so hedonistic, that they spend way too much time pursuing constant pleasure. They don’t seem to see any use for people beyond how those people can make them feel. So they focus on sexual conquests with women, and if they do have children, they don’t have any vision for how those children should turn out.
Part of the problem is moral relativism and postmodernism breaks down the need for character and moral knowledge. There isn’t any social approval for someone who makes the right moral decisions, and who has accumulated knowledge about the moral law (i.e. – wisdom). Men like the idea of progress – building up on previous successes to accomplish a particular goal. When society tells men that values are relative, and that duties are illusory, society undermines men’s natural tendency to try to turn relationships into projects.
On my blog, I focus a lot on teaching people how to fight about economics and Christianity and so on. This doesn’t seem to be valued in a culture that prefers blind acceptance (tolerance) instead of debate and persuasion. When I look at other people, I get excited, because I think: “Oh, look! People who think the universe is eternal or who think who life emerged spontaneously from primordial soup! I can fix that! I can fix that with tools in my evidence toolbox!” And I begin spending money, time and effort to “fix” their broken beliefs.
I think that when society tells men that facts are real, but that moral values and duties are illusory, they undermine our willingness to engage in these worldview construction projects. Sure, it sucks for a woman to be judged by men, and to have their false beliefs pointed out. And children don’t like it either. But that’s how you get a man to care about you – we need to learn to value moral character and respond to people who try to persuade us about things. In fact, even GOD does that with us. And women do it to others as well.
The problem is that we have re-defined love to mean “acceptance and approval no matter what”. But love doesn’t mean that. In relationships between men and other people, men should always be striving to help other people to know God more and more. Not just to use people to make themselves happy. And if that involves beating up dragons, providing gifts, and making sacrifices, so much the better. Men like to do things that are hard, but they need to know that they are putting points on the scoreboard. And that requires a real moral standard and real objective truth that people could know about.
This father was trying to score some points by helping his daughter to turn out a particular way, but then society rushed in and forced him to throw his vision for her out, and they imposed their vision on her instead. They decided that she needed to pursue happiness unencumbered by concerned about moral values and moral duties. They rejected the father’s attempt to teach her right from wrong. That’s moral relativism. And when the state says that morals don’t matter, and that children should make themselves happy and forget about morality, then Dads just drop out of the relationship. Nothing for them to do, and no appreciation for the role of Dad.
From my barstool in SE Asia, surrounded by giggling 20-something beauties and fellow expats, “A toast to the women back home!”
Followed by loud guffaws and another round of drinks.