Tag Archives: Christianity

News

What should you say and do when someone is grieving?

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Spotted this on Sue Bohlin’s blog.(H/T Christian Alert via Neil Simpson’s latest round-up)

Excerpt:

Last week my dear friend Sandi Glahn wrote another boffo blog post about the myths of infertility, which included some of the dumb things people say.

It may be insensitivity or a lack of education that spurs people to say things that are unhelpful at the least and downright hurtful much of the time. I still remember my own daggers to the heart after our first baby died nine days after her birth. And for the past several years, I have been collecting actual quotes said to those already in pain.

So here’s my current list of What Not To Say when someone is hurting…

Here’s something NOT to say:

Don’t start any sentence with “At least. . . .”
• “At least you didn’t have time to really love her.”
• “At least he’s in heaven now.”
• “At least you have two other children.”
• “At least that’s one less mouth you’ll have to feed.”
• “At least it didn’t have to go through the pain of birth.”
• “At least you’ve had a good life so far, before the cancer diagnosis.”

Don’t attempt to minimize the other person’s pain.
• “Cancer isn’t really a problem.” (e.g., Shame on you for thinking that losing your hair/body part/health is a problem.)
• “It’s okay, you can have other children.”

And here’s what you can say and do:

What TO say:
• “I love you.”
• “I am so sorry.” You don’t have to explain. Anything.

What TO do:
• A wordless hug.
• A card that says simply, “I grieve with you.”
• Instead of bringing cakes, drop off or (better) send gift certificates for restaurants or pizza places.

Sounds like people shut down when they are grieving and need help keeping their lives going. Maybe even getting out of bed or eating and cleaning!

In addition to the tips, you can read the comments – they are pretty interesting. I’ve only ever been to ONE wedding (as a child – I remember nothing of it) and NO funerals. No one I know has ever died, except my pets. I don’t understand these things as much as other people do, so that’s why I posted it, just in case you guys are like me. If you have any more stories or advice, tell me.

Sue Bohlin is Ray Bohlin’s wife. They are from Probe Ministries. I used their resources a ton when I was going through college, along with Leadership University. Sue and Ray are awesome! I’ve learned a ton from them over the years.

Mentoring

Jim Wallace discusses the problem of unanswered prayer

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Video is here. (H/T Apologetics 315)

This problem is similar to the problem of divine hiddenness and the problem of evil and suffering. God’s purpose in his relationship with you is not to make you happy. His purpose for relating to you is so that you can know him and enter into a love relationship with him. God is not a toy for you to play with for comfort, and then to put away. With respect to God’s relationship with you, and purpose for you, your happiness is expendable. It may be that you will have to put off trying to make yourself happy until you die… because there are so many other higher-priority things to do with God and other people.

Why I pray

As a Christian, I am especially concerned for other Christians because we have to worry about out relationship with God more than being happy. So I try to make an effort to love and support other Christians who are hurt in the execution of their duty. If you think of prayer as a way of talking to God about your relationship with him, and your relationships with other people (especially Christians), then I think you will have fewer disappointments. At least, that’s what I’ve observed in my experience. When I pray, I ask God to draw people I am working on toward him. And I pray for victory in the execution of my duty.

Here’s George Washington praying:

George Washington and Old Nelson pray

You can read more about George Washington and his triumph against the odds at the battle of Trenton here.

And an American soldier praying:

American soldier prays

And everybody should know about the General Patton weather prayer at Bastogne:

Here’s the prayer.

Do the right thing. Focus on your mission – to know and love God in Christ, and to know and love others. Don’t think about your own needs. Don’t ask God to make you happy. You have no right to be happy.

Here’s a simple guide to prayer from Campus Crusade for Christ.

Commentary

Parents need to take reponsibility for their children’s prosperity

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Here’s a post from Caffeinated Thoughts. It’s about parenting, faith and prosperity.

Excerpt:

It is my job, as a parent, to raise and protect the children that God has given me. It goes beyond the obvious needs of food, clothing and shelter and into an even greater need of “Train(ing) a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6.  Raising a child involves love, discipline, education and looking out for their needs now, as it will affect them when they are old. If parents in America only provide for a child’s physical needs, forgetting to nurture the whole child, then American parents have done nothing more than what a wild animal does for its offspring. My work as a parent goes well beyond the obvious and must be intentional in training, raising, and nurturing them into moral, ethical and God-fearing adults who will in turn also raise a generation who live and do likewise.

I must also fight for the ethical and moral rights of my children in the political arena, as they are unable to do so for themselves. As [Thomas] Paine stated, “We ought to do the work of it, otherwise we use them meanly and pitifully.” He was looking at his posterity realizing that the condition of the country in which they lived needed a drastic overhaul and unless the adults stepped up and took the initiative, the children would suffer for it.

I like this post because it mentions protecting children’s relationships with God as well as their future economic well-being. I think that most people look at their children and think that their faith will be fine, and that their standard of living will as good as the parent’s, or better. But if we want to give those good things to our children, we need to be careful about how we teach them and how we vote. We can’t just “hope for the best” and expect things to work out – 80% of the young people who attend church through high school fall away from their faith. And the unemployment rate for young people today is over 50%.