Skeptics and perspectivalists: “Most have great difficulty grasping the idea that a reality that is objective to their own awareness or construction of it may exist that could have a significant bearing on their lives. In philosophical terms, most emerging adults functionally are soft ontological antirealists and epistemological skeptics and perspectivalists…” (45)
Everybody’s different: “Nearly any question asked of them about any norm, experience, rule of thumb, expectation, or belief in life is very likely to get an answer beginning with the phrase, ‘Well, everybody’s different, but for me…’” (48).
Individualism: “The absolute authority for every person’s beliefs or actions is his or her own sovereign self” (49).
Settling down is for later: “But they also want to relish it [young adulthood] as the time to be young, have fun, and avoid major responsibilities…Later, when they settle down they’ll be sober, faithful, and responsible adults. The assumption seems to be, ‘Whatever happens in my early twenties stays in my early twenties’” (57).
Relationships are amorphous: “Old clear-cut labels, like ‘just friends,’ dating, courting, and engaged, for instance, are too black-and-white for the way many emerging adults relate today…” (58).
Cohabit to avoid divorce: “The vast majority of emerging adults nonetheless believe that cohabiting is a smart if not absolutely necessary experience and phase for moving toward an eventual successful and happy marriage” (62).
I think it would useful to engage these guys to think throught their beliefs more rationally. On the one hand they want to cause no harm, on that other hand they are totally uninformed about the likely outcomes of their own behavioral choices. E.g. – cohabitation increases the risk of divorce by 50%. Break-ups hurt – and certain behaviors affect the likelihood of a messy break-up. Bad behaviors undermine your view of the trustworthiness of the opposite sex, as well as your ability to be content in a monogamous relationship with responsibilities.
WINTERY KNIGHT 