Despite the closeness of her relationships, Clune admitted that the hyper-emotional world of a female-to-female sexual bond was “exhausting.” “The women I went out with were by and large more inclined to be insecure and to need reassurance and I found myself in the male role of endlessly reassuring my girlfriends,” she wrote. “The subtle mood changes of everyday life would be picked over inexhaustibly.”
Clune describes how one lover was so jealous and insecure that “every single time we enjoyed a night out … we would have a row and have to leave.” “Back home, we would then spend the next four hours arguing about our relationship and my feelings of loyalty, fidelity and so on,” she wrote. “It was never-ending.”
“Can you imagine waking up beside a woman when you’ve both got raging PMT (premenstrual tension)?” she added.
Ultimately, she said, the emotional rollercoaster forced her to reconsider her lesbian plunge – something she clearly says she “chose,” and was not born into. “Unlike most men, women, of course, offer each other endless support and there’s hardly ever any lack of communication,” she said. “But – bizarre as it may seem – I found myself longing for exactly the opposite.”
Following “a calculated decision to try men again,” Clune says that she found in her future husband Richard a “quiet kindness” and “lack of neediness” that appealed to her. “I felt we were walking alongside each other rather than spending life locked in face-to-face intimacy or combat,” she wrote. “It felt natural and not at all scary. He was sanguine about my past and never suffered the insecurities I had come to expect.”
I learned a lot from reading this. I was surprised that women are this emotional. Is this true? I remember Dr. Morse said in that Acton Institute interview I posted that lesbian couples have a lot more domestic violence. Now I see why!
I actually think that it is a lot easier for Christians to make a coherent argument in favor of opposite-sex relationships and traditional marriage when they have read case studies and statistics on same-sex relationships. You need to understand the differences to say whether one is better than the other, and to include the needs of children in the comparison.
I noticed that Lex Communis linked to a Mercator Net article that summarizes some fairly recent research on same-sex couples. The author of the post is a professor, and the research he cites is published and peer-reviewed.