The importance of chivalry in everyday life

I was just telling Andrew and Jen about the importance of chastity for enabling men to think of the needs of women around them whether they are attracted to them or not, whether they are married or not.

Well, just now I was chatting on my cell phone outside the building and it started to rain. One of the ladies who I work with came out and stopped there staring at the rain with a frown, so I offered to go and bring her car to the door for her so she would not get wet. And she agreed! (Even though she voted for Obama and doesn’t like Sarah!)

Anyway, let this be a lesson to you women of all ages – it is nice for men to be able to do nice things for you, even if you can do it yourself, you should let men help because it makes them happy to help. Men should always have one eye open for the needs of other people, especially women, around them.

By the way, if you like this post, I could tell you more about some of the other chivalrous things I do. So be sure and leave a rating or a comment, so I know. If you have a chivalry story to tell, leave it in the comments.

6 thoughts on “The importance of chivalry in everyday life”

  1. When the subject of chivalry comes up, my mind always goes back to C.S. Lewis’ essay, “The Necessity of Chivalry” (reprinted in the Lewis essay collection, “Present Concerns”).

    To grasp the Middle Ages’ ideal, Lewis says, “We cannot do better than turn to the words addressed to the greatest of all the imaginary knights in Malory’s ‘Morte Darthur.’ ‘Thou wert the meekest man,’ says Sir Ector to the dead Launcelot. ‘Thou wert the meekest man that ever ate in hall among ladies; and thou wert the sternest knight to thy mortal foe that ever put spear in the rest.”

    Lewis goes on to say: “The important thing about this idea is, of course, the double demand it makes on human nature. The knight is a man of blood and iron, a man familiar with the sight of smashed faces and the ragged stumps of lopped-off limbs; he is also a demure, almost a maidenlike, guest in hall, a gentle, modest, unobtrusive man. He is not a compromise or happy mean between ferocity and meekness; he is fierce to the nth and meek to the nth…”

    That’s not a bad description of you, “Wintery Knight.” We are learning you can be gentle as well as fierce. Your views on how women should be treated need celebration and practice. Keep up the good work!

    (Incidentally, Lewis is careful to say that the “stern” and the “meek” usually fall into two mutually exclusive classes. “The man who combines both characters–the knight–is a work not of nature but of art; of that art which has human beings, instead of canvas or marble, for its medium.”)

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    1. Thanks for your kind words.

      I’m really frustrated with the way that women are treated in today’s society. I think that going forward, Christian men need to be really intentional about how they treat women. I was just chatting with someone today about an abusive husband. There should be a real difference between the way that atheistic or Muslim men treat women, and the way Christian men do.

      “For when lenity and cruelty play for a kingdom, the gentler gamester is the soonest winner.” (King Henry: Henry V by William Shakespeare)

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  2. Further, I think it would be helpful for men intent on being chivalrous (sorry for the redundancy), to be prepared to be thick skinned with those who will find offense.

    If you open enough doors, you will get a comment to the effect of, “I’m fully capable of that, you know!”

    Be ready with a polite response. I always give my winningest smile, and reply, “I don’t doubt that! This is my demonstration of respect for you. I hope that does not offend.”

    Once I’ve gotten a “Humph” and a nose turned in the air, and that from someone who looked like she would have fit in well at the women’s studies facutly lounge… Every other time I’ve gotten a smile in return (embarassed or otherwise) and a, “thank you.”

    Being in the habit of treating women as special, cherished, and deserving of our protection will prepare us to make hard sacrifices as necessary, and will model the proper behavior to our sons and daughters.

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    1. I think we men need to stop preferring women based on their appearance, and really think hard about the non-obvious qualities that make a relationship worth having. We can start by realizing that what men want from women is attention, recognition, approval and affection. I was supposed to put up a bunch of paintings to demonstrate this, but I was super-busy last week.

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  3. Gosh, I hope that’s a misplaced indent, as I don’t think I did, and certainly didn’t mean to, indicate that there is any appearance preference in being respectful to women.

    If perchance you were reacting to, “and that from someone who looked like she would have fit in well at the women’s studies facutly lounge…” then you would also note that I did not in fact let her appearance change my actions (just that her reaction didn’t suprise me… way to promote a stereo type lady!).

    At any rate, I agree with you.

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