High school then and now
ECM sent me this comparison of high school in 1959 vs. 2009.
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.
1959 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2009 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1959 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2009 – Police called and SWAT team arrives — they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1959 – Jeffrey sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2009 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1959 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2009 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1959 – Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.
2009 – The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations.. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.
Pedro fails high school English.
1959 – Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2009 – Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1959 – Ants die.
2009 – ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents –and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1959 – In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2009 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
Beware the nanny state.
A modest proposal
Ed Morrissey has a new proposal to ensure equal access to legal representation!
Ladies and gentlemen of the Hot Air community, I have discovered an unfair disparity in access to a vital resource based on the economic condition of the consumer. This disparity is not just egregious, but it threatens the very core of our American way of life. People routinely get denied adequate and competent service on the basis of their ability to pay, even though they have a right to it, while the rich eat up all the resources with their ability to access the best and brightest in the field. And in the interest of fairness, the federal government needs to find a solution and impose it on the industry as a whole.
I refer, of course, to legal representation.
I’m sure the lawyers will love that!
Scott Ott writes about the new Democrat probe of the CIA’s covert operations.
With Democrats in Congress already alarmed at revelations that the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) had a covert scheme to kill terrorist leaders like Usama Bin Laden, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is reportedly set to announce a probe into allegations that the CIA may have also “conspired to conduct espionage operations against America’s enemies.”
According to a Pelosi staffer, who spoke on the condition of anonymity due to the top-secret nature of the information he revealed, the CIA has “surreptitiously conducted what amounts to international spy operations without proper notification of its espionage targets, or of the United Nations.”
Obama and the booty
And here’s Obama looking at a girl’s butt:
(Note: One of my commenters below points out that he isn’t actually looking at her butt)
How to be a knight
From eHow. This is basically accurate. It’s all about swordsmanship and horsemanship and romance.
I am stuck on step 5.
If chivalry, loyalty and a penchant for heavy metal armour interests you, you may be well suited to being a knight. Once the domain of the noble-born, knighthood can be achieved through hard work, dedication and the benevolence of a lord.
If anyone would like to help me with step 5, I would appreciate it! Send me an e-mail. And tune in this weekend when I will be explaining what men want from women, using paintings! That’s right, paintings!