News

What should you say and do when someone is grieving?

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Spotted this on Sue Bohlin’s blog.(H/T Christian Alert via Neil Simpson’s latest round-up)

Excerpt:

Last week my dear friend Sandi Glahn wrote another boffo blog post about the myths of infertility, which included some of the dumb things people say.

It may be insensitivity or a lack of education that spurs people to say things that are unhelpful at the least and downright hurtful much of the time. I still remember my own daggers to the heart after our first baby died nine days after her birth. And for the past several years, I have been collecting actual quotes said to those already in pain.

So here’s my current list of What Not To Say when someone is hurting…

Here’s something NOT to say:

Don’t start any sentence with “At least. . . .”
• “At least you didn’t have time to really love her.”
• “At least he’s in heaven now.”
• “At least you have two other children.”
• “At least that’s one less mouth you’ll have to feed.”
• “At least it didn’t have to go through the pain of birth.”
• “At least you’ve had a good life so far, before the cancer diagnosis.”

Don’t attempt to minimize the other person’s pain.
• “Cancer isn’t really a problem.” (e.g., Shame on you for thinking that losing your hair/body part/health is a problem.)
• “It’s okay, you can have other children.”

And here’s what you can say and do:

What TO say:
• “I love you.”
• “I am so sorry.” You don’t have to explain. Anything.

What TO do:
• A wordless hug.
• A card that says simply, “I grieve with you.”
• Instead of bringing cakes, drop off or (better) send gift certificates for restaurants or pizza places.

Sounds like people shut down when they are grieving and need help keeping their lives going. Maybe even getting out of bed or eating and cleaning!

In addition to the tips, you can read the comments – they are pretty interesting. I’ve only ever been to ONE wedding (as a child – I remember nothing of it) and NO funerals. No one I know has ever died, except my pets. I don’t understand these things as much as other people do, so that’s why I posted it, just in case you guys are like me. If you have any more stories or advice, tell me.

Sue Bohlin is Ray Bohlin’s wife. They are from Probe Ministries. I used their resources a ton when I was going through college, along with Leadership University. Sue and Ray are awesome! I’ve learned a ton from them over the years.

News

Can government be as greedy as corporations are supposed to be?

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Very popular editorial from Investors Business Daily.

Excerpt:

Nowhere has liberalism gone further than in San Francisco. And few, if any, other cities can boast such a well-heeled work force. Is this what “spreading the wealth” is all about?

We have seen the future and it works — for certain people. Take San Francisco municipal workers. The San Francisco Chronicle recently detailed just how overpaid the city’s employees are. Their average yearly salary is $93,000 before benefits. A third of them made more than $100,000 in 2009. A newly retired deputy police chief (not even the city’s top cop) made $516,118.

[…]Also in 2009, 28 city employees made more than the mayor, Gavin Newsom, who pulled down a respectable $250,903. Firefighters in San Francisco have a base salary of $102,648, while even lowly payroll clerks start at $54,314.

[…]Unions, particularly public-sector unions, leverage their money and membership to stock legislatures, city councils and county boards with friendly faces. Those faces, in turn, lock governments into contracts (particularly where pensions are concerned) that are extremely difficult to break.

The problem with this is that the private sector is the only part of the economy that actually has to please customers in order to get paid. Government workers don’t have to provide good service in order to get paid. They don’t compete with anyone, and individual workers have no incentive to work harder – their raises are based on union bargaining, not on pleasing customers. So then why are government workers making more money than the productive private sector workers when San Francisco has a $483 million budget deficit? Why isn’t this greed?

Commentary

Is the mainstream media fair in reporting on abortion violence?

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This is original work from Verum Serum. They contrast the mainstream media’s reporting of the Georger Tiller killing with the killing of pro-life activist Jim Pouillon.

Excerpt:

Of course there has been real right-wing extremism, most notably the murder of abortionist George Tiller last Summer. That shouldn’t be ignored or minimized. On the other hand, there was another killing not long after which received a lot less attention. Jim Pouillon, a long time pro-life advocate, was shot three times through the pro-life sign he was holding by a stranger who was irritated by his message.

How bad is the media bias in the reporting of the two killings?

News Outlet Tiller’s murder (stories/words) Pouillon’s murder (stories/words) Ratio
LA Times At least 10 stories totaling 8,286 words. Three stories totaling 423 words. 19.5:1
NY Times At least 17 stories and three editorials totaling 21,430 words. Five full stories and one partial story totaling 3935 words. 5.4:1
Time At least 9 stories totaling 4,838 words. No mention of Jim Pouillon at all. 5,000:0
Washington Post At least 15 stories and one editorial plus 5 AP dispatches totaling 12,002 words. Three AP stories totaling 981 words. Original reporting = 0. 12.2:1

Newsweek didn’t mention the Pouillon killing at all, just like Time.

There’s a lot more to their post, and you can read the rest here. This is a very original and informative post.

I recommend that people exercise caution when buying magazines like Time and Newsweek. They’re hard left, so you aren’t getting all the news. You are just getting all the news that fits their narrative.