New study: the majority (69%) of divorces are initiated by women

Is it OK to tell women they are wrong?
Is this “I’ll do what I want” attitude compatible with life-long married love?

This new report from Live Science gives us some numbers about who initiates divorces most frequently.

It says:

Women are more likely than men to initiate divorce in the United States, but they are no more likely than men to initiate breakups in a dating relationship, a new study finds.

“The breakups of nonmarital heterosexual relationships in the U.S. are quite gender-neutral and fairly egalitarian,” study author Michael Rosenfeld, an associate professor of sociology at Stanford University, said in a statement. “This was a surprise because the only prior research that had been done on who wanted the breakup was research on marital divorces.”

Previous research had found that women are more likely to initiate divorce, at least in the United States, Europe and Australia. In the new study, Rosenfeld compared divorces to nonmarital breakups, in an effort to understand the driving forces behind each type of breakup.

To investigate, he looked at data from the 2009 to 2015 waves of How Couples Meet and Stay Together, a nationally representative survey spearheaded by Rosenfeld and his colleagues. The new study includes 2,262 adults, ages 19 to 64, who reported having opposite-sex partners in 2009. By 2015, 371 of the participants had broken up or gotten divorced.

Women initiated 69 percent of the 92 divorces, Rosenfeld found. But there was no statistically significant difference between women and men when it came to nonmarital breakups, regardless of whether they were living together, he said.

The Ruth Institute reports on a few studies:

Female unions seem to have the highest divorce rates, followed by male unions, followed by opposite sex unions.

“For Sweden, the divorce risk for partnerships of men is 50% higher than the risk for heterosexual marriages, and that the divorce risk for female partnerships is nearly double that for men.”

“For Norway, divorce risks are 77% higher in lesbian partnerships than in those of gay men.”  (The Norwegian data did not include a comparison with opposite sex couples.)

In California, the data is collected a little differently. The study looks at couples who describe themselves as partners, whether same sex or opposite sex. The study asks the question, how likely is it that these couples live in the same household five years later. Male couples were only 30% as likely, while female couples were less that 25% as likely, as heterosexual married couples, to be residing in the same household for five years.

It really seems as if there is something about women in particular that causes them to be unable to keep to commitments in their actions, despite what they might say with their words.

So I am seeing a couple of problems in young, unmarried women that might explain this.

Feminism is bad

First, there is the feminism. Feminism was the driving force behind no-fault divorce. Today, young unmarried women are being taught to view marriage as stifling to their freedom. So if they do get married, they are often resolved that marriage should not affect their freedom in any way. That is just not the way marriage works, though – both spouses need to be equally ready to have their freedom infringed upon by things that HAVE TO GET DONE. Lots of things that have to get done will not be fun, thrilling or amusing – and that’s why it’s good to be prepared to do them before you marry.

My friend Dina says that she only knows one happily married couple from among her friends. The most frequent case she sees is wife is working in order to pay for big house, two cars, etc. and wife is denying husband sex, which makes him disengage from the marriage. A working wife tends to not be as responsive to the needs of husband and kids as a non-working wife, probably in part due to work stress. There is an epidemic of sex-withholding by women, and it causes men to disengage from marriage because they feel unloved. Although women tend to rebel against the idea that the man’s bad behavior is their fault, and that there is a “contractual” nature to marriage, that is how marriage works. You cannot stay married, women, by just doing whatever you feel like, and NOT doing whatever you DON’T feel like. Men will disengage when their needs are not supplied, and that’s no fault of theirs. It’s your fault. Denying relationship obligations causes men to underperform.

Feminism is often linked closely to “independence”. There is a lot of confusion over what the word independence means among young, unmarried women. A man uses that word to mean “lack of financial dependence on parents, the state, etc. because of good decisions in education, career and finances”. But a woman means “not having to care about the needs of a man and the leadership of a man, or the needs of children while still getting what I want from men and children”. That attitude is not compatible with life-long married love.

Emotions are bad

Second, emotions. In my experience, young, unmarried women are less likely to have reasoned out their own life plan in a practical step-by-step manner. Instead, they tend to do whatever makes them feel good moment-by-moment without any realistic plan. One Christian woman was recently telling me how attracted she was to an atheist moral relativist who had been promiscuous from the age of 15. She explained that her emotions were kindled by his GQ looks, 6-pack abs, mysterious European accent, seductive manner and witty conversations. Although she is apparently a Christian, she doesn’t take Christianity seriously in her decisions about relationships and marriage.

Peer-approval and culture play a large part in determining what women think is attractive in a man, as well as their life goals, and women are driven by these cultural standards more than men who focus on honoring their commitments regardless of their emotions. In my experience, women struggle to make their day-to-day actions match their socially-acceptable goal of getting married “some day”. Marriage is for “some day” for today’s busy women, but fun and thrills is for today. “Live in the moment”, they often tell me. If you try to talk to them about roles and responsibilities in a marriage, they will withdraw and rebel. But marriage is about each spouse doing his or her job, and feeling content about what the couple is building together. You can’t make life-long married love from emotional craziness and pursuing fun and thrills with seductive promiscuous moral relativist atheists.

How to pick a woman who won’t divorce you

Young men, I advise you to choose wives who have had to do things that they did not feel like doing. That can involve things like getting a STEM degree, getting a job in STEM, moving out of her parents’ house, getting a “boring” job that helps her pay off her debts, keeping commitments when she doesn’t feel like it, and caring for other people and even animals.

Basically, the more the woman has ground down any narcissism and hedonism she may have, by having to do nasty calculus and horrid lab work, the better. The more accustomed she is to constraints, responsibilities, expectations and obligations, the less likely it is that she’ll divorce you for unhappiness. And all of this goes for men, as well. STEM degree, STEM job, save money, serve others, give to charity.

Marriage is not the time for people to be carried away by their emotions. It’s an enterprise, and it works when both people are rational, practical, hard-working and self-controlled.

13 thoughts on “New study: the majority (69%) of divorces are initiated by women”

  1. Another effect feminism has had on divorce rates is that it has enshrined above all criticism the concept that in their relationships with men, women are ALWAYS victims. And victims NEVER have to account for their attitudes or behaviour. And of course being a victim (accredited ‘victim status’ by postmodern elites) is something that can be economically leveraged. That is extra incentive. Victims can always make (economic) demands on their “oppressors”. And of course there is the fact that divorce laws have been set up in the last 2 generations throughout the West that appear to be deliberately set up to destroy marriages as they’ve opened up divorce for the most frivolous of reasons AND while typically promoted by apparently advocates for the “equality of the sexes”, even when women initiate the divorce the the courts consistently deny men equal treatment in divorce cases 1) automatically giving women custody of children and 2) demanding men pay alimony to the ex-wives, which amounts to pretending we are still in 1850, and women had no access to work with their husband as their ONLY source of revenue… Since the State in the West has opened the doors divorce for the most frivolous of reasons, it should foot the WHOLE bill when it comes to alimony…


  2. My ex wife forced me to file as she acted improperly, even crashed into my car as I left to take kids to school, so, I had to file. She broke God’s laws. So, 69% is probably higher.


  3. If I were a young Christian man in this age, I would not look twice at ANY woman who had not been in front of a murder mill or witnessing the Gospel at intersections on a consistent basis. Christian men need to select queens who are willing to battle alongside them.

    Lots of Biblically-literate “christian” women are just Jezebels these days, using their “christian” status to attract provider-men.


  4. Not surprisingly, this also explains MGTOW.

    (For the record, I am married, a Christian, a man, who married a multi-STEM-degreed Christian woman.)

    Many men see:
    1) lots of low quality women
    2) very high price of divorce (monetarily and mental health and other health)
    3) high risk of divorce
    4) low rewards of marriage
    5) some chance (highly correlated to the number of premarital sexual partners) of a cheating spouse

    And you have all excellent points.


  5. Of course I agree that feminism is evil, and I can see how the MGTOW movement is gaining, even in Christian circles. My wife knew lots of (allegedly) Christian women who withheld sex as manipulation (trading sex for chores or whatever sounds like prostitution to me). Those women are breaking their marriage vows. The beta husbands often put up with it . . . until they don’t. One guy left a 30 yr. marriage because the wife had sex once in the past year, and only then when drunk. And she thought the marriage was great!

    That said, do you have stats on how STEM degree women divorce less? I’m all for STEM if that is what people want to do, but it seems like more traditional female degrees (not Womyn’s Studies or Lesbian Astrology or whatever, obviously) are more practical. A woman making more with a STEM degree seems more likely to want to stay in the field and let someone else raise her kids. It would be too hard to keep up with the technology if she stayed at home full-time. Other jobs lend themselves more to part time and phasing in/out of the workplace as you have kids or as they leave the home.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I don’t have stats. My thinking is that STEM women will be less ruled by their feelings and more logical than women who study non-STEM subjects, just because they will be forced to produce lab reports or working code that is testable and reality-based.
      And the second reason is that money is a huge factor in marriage, and stem women will not have as much debt because they will be able to find workand pay off their debt.
      Its just my experience. I see non-STEM degrees as just indoctrination in leftism at this point, and I don’t see that as being helpful for marriage.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks, that helps. I totally get the risk of some degree programs having Leftist indoctrination. But maybe business schools have changed since my day, but I always appreciated that our classes were politics-free. I think HR is a good field for women to phase in/out of. Worked really well for Mrs. Eternity Matters. She did that until the kids were born, then phased back in with teaching and eventually being a librarian before retiring. Though it may be more political these days.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. We live in the age of the goddess. The word “goddess” is increasingly thrown around everywhere. Women are more and more, encouraged to think of themselves as goddesses. New Age men are taught to regard and treat their women as goddesses.

    We live in the age of the goddess. Where feminine energy has replaced the God of Abraham.

    What does a goddess want?
    To be worshipped and treated like she is divine.

    What happens when a goddess doesn’t get that?
    She blames you. She divorces you. You are unworthy of her goddessness.

    We live in an age of narcissism, self-worship, self-esteem, and nonaccountability. And all this is encouraged by Oprah, Eat Love Pray, as well as the social media sites like Facebook and Quora.

    The serpent tempted Eve by telling her that she could be a goddess if she ate the forbidden fruit. She ate it and all she got was a fallen state. Today, New Age, shampoo ads, and popular culture is retempting humanity with the same “ye shall be as God” lie. But this time, it’s much MUCH worse than in the garden of Eden. Why? Because, can you imagine Eve with the attitude, pluck, sassiness and feminazism of a modern woman? No, Eve was never as bad as the women of today, Eve probably never had as bad an attitude, all this needed 6000 years of cultural development to arrive at. Women now truly believe they are goddesses, Eve was “just wondering”, but now women truly think they are God, but with a “dess”.

    So all this divorcing is much worse beneath the surface than it initially seems, because what’s driving it is cultural feminine self-worship. It’s real bad.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Why is it real bad?

    Because everything wrong with our modern culture comes from living out some version of “do as thou wilt”, “it’s my hot body, I do what I want”, etc.

    And “do as thou wilt” came from Satanism. What’s wrong with modern culture is that it is unconsciously satanic by living out the 2 precepts of Satanism :
    – do as thou wilt
    – love is the law, love under will

    Liked by 1 person

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