I received an e-mail from a woman who was telling me to drop my list of 10 worldview questions and just look for a wife who reads the Bible and has feelings about Jesus.
She wrote:
My suggestion to you is to consider a top-down approach. Just pray for God to send you your wife and pray that you recognize her immediately. You don’t seem like you really want to remain single…and your children are missing out on having you as their dad. Marriage is for children, remember? I know several young ladies who know their Scripture and who love Jesus but who, I don’t think, would pass your test because, in my perception, they aren’t cerebral enough.
I get this e-mail a lot, especially from women who have married non-Christians or who are divorced. Now the whole point of the list of 10 questions is to detect women who are not going to help me to produce effective, influential Christian children. If I am going to spend north of $100,000 per child + tuition, then I expect to get some sort of return on that investment for God. That money doesn’t earn itself, and it needs to be well-spent serving God.
It’s my wife’s job to help me to do that. My goal in choosing a wife is to find a helper to make the relationship serve God. Otherwise, it’s better for God if I give that money that I worked very hard to earn directly to effective Christian scholars. I don’t have money to burn “playing house” with someone who is guided by her feelings. I can just give the money to Reasonable Faith or Discovery Institute instead.
Let’s take a look at two parents who aimed at nothing and hit it with their daughter. The two parents run a ministry that is based around passionate preaching, prayer and Bible verses.
Excerpt:
The Lord spoke to Arise International Conference host Mary Hudson to encourage women to reach their full destiny in Jesus Christ. He wants women to rise up as trailblazers, to think outside the box and be bold in Him, of course putting God first, your husband second and then your family!
Mary’s ministry of Arise! International holds annual women’s empowerment and leadership conferences in Hawaii, Belgium, Colombia, France, Switzerland, Denmark and the USA. The river of glory is rising and we must flow with it.
2012 promises to be a break-through year to Arise! in who you are in Christ. Lean on Him for direction, don’t look to man. Knowing the signs of the times and hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit will be vital to being at the right place at the right time to reap the harvest of souls coming into the Kingdom.
Pray about being a part of Arise! this coming year. It just may be the meeting that propels you into the next level for your life. Remember, you are equipped with everything you need to fulfill your purpose. God’s assignments reveal your abilities and your capabilities, and He will provide both the potential and the provision to meet every assignment.
We call you blessed and highly favored!
I noticed that their “book store” offers nonsense books like this:
Keith Hudson “Looking and Seeing”:
Like this disciplined athlete, you need to learn how to look beyond your present situation and keep your eye on His Presence. God is ready to display His glory in your life as well in these last days, but it is going to take boldness for you to take the mask off and look at people and situations the way God sees them, not how man looks at them. What may stand in front of you may look too big for you to grasp; that what you see now is the way it’s always going to be. Or you look at the dream God has given you and think, “there is no way I can ever accomplish this with my resources at my age…” That is the moment you have to flip the switch from looking to seeing.
Mary Hudson “Smart Bombs”:
Smart Bombs is a book which will show you practically and with true life examples how to take God’s Word and let it explode strongholds in your life. When you read the Bible, He quickens particular passages or verses to your heart. You know it is God talking to you about your situation. Or when you receive a prophetic word, you sense in your heart this is speaking to you. But what do you do with these words when they bear witness with you? Let them fade away and disappear off of your memory? No, Smart Bombs shows you how to go on the offense with the anointed word of God, how to demolish strongholds and take back everything the enemy has stolen from you.
This easy read is a must for anyone who is looking for clarity on their destiny.
Keith Hudson “The Cry”:
The Cry will reignite you with new fire. Christians lose their passion when they let go of their zeal for God. We come into prayer meetings and we are so polished and perfected. But the Lord wants to hear the cry of your heart. The church has lost its cry: God is about to restore it. Why did the thirty people gathered for the Azusa Street revival have such a move of the spirit of God in their day? Because they had a cry in their hearts and in their prayers. The Cry will release a desperate longing in you for Gods intervention in your life. It goes way beyond your natural thinking into a spiritual hunger from your innermost being. When everything else has failed, a desperate cry touches the heart of God.
Now do you think that someone who reads books like that will produce the same kind of children as parents who read William Lane Craig, Stephen C. Meyer, Jay Richards, and Michael Licona? Of course not. Because the Hudson books are fluff and the books by real Christian scholars are not fluff.
Now let’s read an article from Christian Post about what sort of child the fluff approach produces. (H/T Mysterious Chris S.)
Excerpt:
Katy Perry, the 29-year-old singer and songwriter, is revealing that while she prays she no longer identifies with Christianity.
“I don’t believe in a heaven or a hell, or an old man sitting on a throne. I believe in a higher power bigger than me because that keeps me accountable,” she told Marie Claire magazine recently. “Accountability is rare to find, especially with people like myself, because nobody wants to tell you something you don’t want to hear.”
Perry, who took the Billboard charts by storm with her hit song “I Kissed a Girl” in 2008, told Marie Claire that she no longer considers herself a Christian despite being raised by Christian ministers.
“I’m not Buddhist, I’m not Hindu, I’m not Christian, but I still feel like I have a deep connection with God. I pray all the time – for self-control, for humility,” she told Marie Claire. “There’s a lot of gratitude in it. Just saying ‘thank you’ sometimes is better than asking for things.”
Despite her decision to perform music that may seem controversial to the Christian community, the chart-topping singer has never shied away from crediting the Christian church for giving her a start as a performer.
“The atmosphere I grew up in was 100 percent Christian,” Perry said her “Part of Me: 3D” movie which was released last year. “I started singing in the church, I never really had another plan.”
Their daughter is writing songs to promote homosexuality to young people. That’s their legacy. The legacy of spiritual gifts, God opening doors of mysticism and charismatic anti-intellectualism. That’s what they are going to present to God as their spiritual legacy. I noticed that Mary Hudson is now calling her daughter’s celebrity divorce after one year of marriage a “gift from God”. Her daughter married a heroin-addicted leftist non-Christian – but he was hawt. Tall, dark, handsome and a famous comedian, too.
The list of questions I use when courting helps me to avoid marrying a woman like Katy Perry’s mother. She could not answer any of my questions. None of them. And what’s more, she doesn’t want to answer them. She wants to live her whole life without learning how to answer them. She wants to stick with her Bible, her singing, her feelings, her passionate oratory and her crowds of gullible people. I will not marry a woman like that. It produces disaster and failure. It produces anti-Christian children.
In fact, you can’t succeed at anything worthwhile in life using the Keith and Mary Hudson approach to parenting. You can’t do a thing with that approach. Not writing software, not fixing cars, not making investments, not sending a rocket to the moon, not even evangelizing an apostate daughter. You do not want to be a Christian man who pumps 30 years of hard labor into a family that produces apostate children. If you are going to spend the money, then make sure you get the results.
WINTERY KNIGHT 
“namely, if any man is above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion. Titus 1: 6 NASB
Based on Titus 1:6 Katy Perry’s parents should no longer be holding themselves out as Christian ministers and should no longer be preaching in churches. It distressed me to read of a church in my city recently hosting Perry’s parents for a series of special meetings which were heavily advertised.
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Absolutely true!
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I really hope you find what you’re looking for because love is an awesome thing and I hope God blesses you so.
I have to agree with the women who disagree with you, however. One problem with your list is that what is in women’s hearts is far more important than what is in our heads. Our hearts are where our morality lives, our feelings are what helps to guide us. Women are not like men, we operate differently. Even in scripture we are instructed to write these things on the tablets of our hearts, not necessarily just in a our brains. I know atheist women who can pass your ten question list, and feminists, and likely all sorts of women who would drive you crazy.
As to children, they are not entirely ours. We get them for a short while, but they belong to God, they are their own people. Some very good parents produce rotten children and some rotten parents produce good kids. It’s not something that’s written in stone and entirely within our control. It’s just a good thing to keep in mind because it helps to prevent a lot of heart ache. LOL, also, thank goodness this is true, because there are some rotten parents in the world and still God has His victory.
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I kinda see where you’re coming from, but I have to say that I’m inclined to agree with WK on his requirement of an understanding of – or willingness to learn – apologetics. If a subject like this consumes your life, I think it very unwise to partner with someone who does not share or sympathize with the subject matter – it is potentially a recipe for marital strife (if nothing else). Imagine a marriage where one of the partners is obsessed with pets and the other is (at best) apathetic or even actively dislikes pets – how much more would the tensions be if the subject matter is of much, much greater importance?
A willingness to support each-other intellectually (by at least trying to learn and relate to the subject at hand) is necessary in such relationships. I speak from experience – my wife has been of infinitely great support to me in my exploration of apologetics, precisely because we are travelling in the same direction. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for natural law (with regard to the primary purpose of marriage – i.e. babies and bonding) and complementarity of the sexes; but there are other relational considerations which are critical to a healthy marriage.
Of course, I do think that one can take this too far the other way and have unhealthily high expectations of what one is looking for in a wife/husband. We shouldn’t be looking for a clone of ourselves (or trying to construct a clone) or trying to find a person who, more-or-less, ticks all the boxes at the expense of genuine ‘chemistry’. I guess the whole thing is a mixture of prayer and common sense in the end.
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Just a couple of excerpts from the Hudson advertisements:
“It just may be the meeting that propels you into the next level for your life. ”
“Or you look at the dream God has given you and think, “there is no way I can ever accomplish this with my resources at my age…””
“The Cry will release a desperate longing in you for Gods intervention in your life. ”
All 3 of these quotes run dangerously close to the prosperity “gospel” or the “word of faith” movement. There is no context provided whatsoever, so many people will interpret them that way. “Look what God, my cosmic Butler, can do for me!” Pathetic! I didn’t convert from blind faith a-theism to join this band of goofballs. And, I already had read lots of Og Mandino as a pagan.
Keith and Mary Hudson: shut down you ministries, quit writing books, and get your asses out in front of your local abortion mill! Maybe God can take you to “the next level in your life” there. All the “resources” you need are poster boards, magic markers, and a little courage. It will “release a desperate longing in you,” that’s for sure! You’re welcome.
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The same alarm bells went off in my head. God has brought me out of the Word-Faith movement, in which I was raised and marinated my entire life. It is so, so ugly and destructive—I don’t think people understand how much so unless they’ve been in it and brought out. And nothing good can come of it, that is for certain—but nothing good can come out of twisting God’s word.
As you may know, mocking those who seek to use their brains and study theology, science, etc is quite popular amongst Word-Faith Charismatic types, something WK seems to have picked up on by noting someone who reads books like ‘The Cry’ would never imagine picking up a Nancy Pearcey or William Lane Craig. Anyone who reads that sort of thing is accused of all sorts of evils, but most of all, not having ‘enough faith’.
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You have nailed it on the head, right there. Thank you for sharing your experience and God bless!
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I am interested in all of the things on your list and have read extensively on several of them but Im a middle aged man and didnt read on many of those things prior to the last few years. If you could find a young girl who fit your description she might have an insufferable personality. You would have better luck finding a girl with potential and teaching her those things.
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That’s exactly what I do. The most difficult thing to find is the willingness to learn.
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Some of those books that you mentioned really cause a “facepalm” moment. ,”Waiting for a prophetic word”? I suddenly am reminded of Jesus’ words to the Sadducees over the question of the resurrection, “have you not read what God spoke…” The Scriptures ARE the prophetic word.
Now, while I have criticized your questions and your expectations of a woman who can answer every one of them, because most women have probably never considered them, which I would argue is that is probably an indicator that, one, she has never realized the need to consider those things and, two, has never had her faith put to the test. As I read Scripture, one of the surrest indicators of a godly man is his ability to teach his own family the truth from the revealed Word.
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