The post-abortion trauma of famous musician Steven Tyler

Here’s an article in National Review. (H/T Mary)

Excerpt:

Long before he won accolades as an American Idol judge, Steven Tyler was a bona-fide rock star, with all that that implied. In 1975, when he was in his late 20s and the lead singer for the band Aerosmith, Tyler persuaded the parents of his 14-year-old girlfriend, Julia Holcomb, to make him her legal guardian so that they could live together in Boston.

When Miss Holcomb and Tyler conceived a child, his longtime friend Ray Tabano convinced Tyler that abortion was the only solution. In the Aerosmith “autobiography,” Walk This Way (in which recollections by all the band members, and their friends and lovers, were assembled by the author Stephen Davis), Tabano says: “So they had the abortion, and it really messed Steven up because it was a boy. He . . . saw the whole thing and it [messed] him up big time.”

Tyler also reflects on his abortion experience in the autobiography. “It was a big crisis. It’s a major thing when you’re growing something with a woman, but they convinced us that it would never work out and would ruin our lives. . . . You go to the doctor and they put the needle in her belly and they squeeze the stuff in and you watch. And it comes out dead. I was pretty devastated. In my mind, I’m going, Jesus, what have I done?”

[…]After the abortion, Tyler began a torrid affair with Playboy model Bebe Buell while still seeing Julia, the mother of his aborted son. If you were wondering what happened to Julia (who is referred to as Diana Hall in the book) after this purportedly psychologically safe procedure, Bebe tells us: “There were many suicidal calls from poor Diana as they were breaking up. It was actually a pretty sad time.”

And how was Steven coping?

He went on a European concert tour, accompanied by Bebe, who tells us: “He was crazy . . . totally drunk, really out of it. . . . Steven destroyed his dressing room at Hammersmith . . . when we got back from Europe. . . . One night I found him on the floor of his bathroom having a drug seizure. He was writhing in pain.”

This was followed by Steven’s “Tuinal days” — a period he spent stoned on massive doses of the barbiturate. He says: “I would eat four or five a day . . . and be good for a couple of months . . . which is why that period is blackout stuff.”

This is the dysfunctional recipe for dealing with post-traumatic stress: Take heavy doses of drugs to numb the memories and feelings — and throw in a portion of toxic rage at bandmates and hotel rooms. Anger, especially in men, is often an undiagnosed sign of depression and repressed grief that needs a healthy expression and healing. Many post-abortive fathers tell us that anger management was a major problem for them after their abortions.

[…]For many post-abortive men and women, the anxiety associated with an abortion can surface at unexpected times, triggered by events such as a subsequent pregnancy, the death of a pet or a loved one, or some other person, place, or thing that in some way connects with the traumatic memory. Years later, when Tyler married, and he and his wife were expecting their first child, he was still haunted by the abortion: “It affected me later. . . . I was afraid. I thought we’d give birth to a six-headed cow because of what I’d done with other women. The real-life guilt was very traumatic for me. Still hurts.”

There are so many interesting things about this post:

  • how some men at a certain age have difficulty in making commitments and being responsible
  • how men at a certain age never think that anything bad will happen to them
  • how parents need to be more careful about standing up to their children and saying NO
  • how statistics do matter – the more you use something risky, the greater chance it will fail
  • how the rock-and-roll lifestyle that people seem to venerate can be destructive
  • how abortion really does harm men

In my next post, I will be writing about a different kind of behavior by a real hero. I find it very strange that so many people celebrate rock-and-roll musicians who merely entertain us. That doesn’t necessarily qualify them for being good husbands and fathers, though. I think women need to realize that some young men can be very dangerous and destructive because of their foolhardiness and irresponsibility. But sometimes a lack of fear can be a good thing in responsible young men, as we shall see in the next post.

9 thoughts on “The post-abortion trauma of famous musician Steven Tyler”

  1. I think the problems start in the first paragraph, where a man in his late 20’s is having a sexual relationship with a 14 year girl and convinced her parents to make him her legal guardian?!? This situation was doomed from the very start.

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    1. I totally agree. I wish the article could explain how this happened. I know that parents have trouble saying no to kids. They have trouble caring about their children instead of working and buying stuff. Little girls tend to be mesmerized by musicians and celebrities. Fathers do a lousy job of communicating what men are supposed to do to daughters. (I am not saying that musicians cannot make good husbands, but it is more challenging since they travel around and are in party areas). Etc.

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      1. Same here, Francine.
        What the heck was he doing with a 14 year old. And what the heck was going on with the 14 year old AND her parents that this relationship was even going on.
        That’s statutory rape. Why do the rules suddenly change when a rock star is involved?
        My 14 year old daughter is working on her softball pitch and her basketball layup. She’s not in training to be some old rich dude’s arm candy.
        I’m sad for every abortion.
        But can’t he see that he did this to himself by living like the law doesn’t apply to him?

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  2. “The real-life guilt was very traumatic for me. Still hurts.”
    It would be great if people could feel this way BEFORE they kill their children.

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    1. I find it interesting that her mother dabbled in the easiest parts of Christianity – singing, Bible reading, praying, church – and yet she married 1) adulterous gamblers and 2) alcoholics and 3) cohabitators. I wonder what the story is there. It seems like she was unable to make the connection between her professed religion and her own decisions about men.

      I think the church needs to do a better job of teaching moral judgments and truth and offer less compassion and feelings.

      Also, it sounds like car accident caused them “problem of evil/suffering” problems. They might have benefited from a close study of philosophical apologetics in order to deal with it.

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      1. Good points, WK.

        It seems her mother may have married very young, since she had a child with the 3rd man when Julia was pretty much grown up. Very few young people are equipped to choose wisely and discern who’s a charmer with no spine and who’s reliable. Think of Wickham in “Pride and Prejudice” or Willoughby in “Sense and Sensibility”. Such men do exist and they are very appealing and difficult to uncover.

        For a lot of people, once they mess up in one way they throw the rest of the wisdom out and things get worse. I also agree that her church probably didn’t equip her to make a wise decision.

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  3. To see Julia Holcomb’s side of the story, please read part two of Kevin Burke’s Post Abortion Trauma: http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/the-light-of-the-world-the-steve-tyler-and-julia-holcomb-story.

    If you missed Part one, you can find it here on Steven Tyler and Julia Holcomb’s abortion. Post Abortion Trauma “Jesus, what have I done?” by Kevin Burke, LSW http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/266316/post-abortion-trauma-kevin-burke?page=1.

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    1. Thank you! This post is worth blogging on… I think that the mother’s bad decisions about men is to blame. I wonder in what sense her profession of Christianity was authentic if she was willing to have these unBiblical relationships with godless men? Her choices in men basically destroyed her daughter’s life.

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