Woman Teaching Woman

Older career woman calls Dennis Prager show to warn young women about marriage

I used to listen to the Dennis Prager show all the time, and my favorite hour was the male-female hour, which is the second hour every Wednesday. In that hour, you will hear some of the most frank discussion of male and female issues. I was surprised to see Better Bachelor, a men’s rights activist, talk about an article about the male-female hour in his show. I’ll link to the article below.

Prager explains in The Stream:

Every Wednesday, the second hour of my national radio show is the “Male/Female Hour.” A few weeks ago, a woman named Jennifer called in. For reasons of space, I have somewhat shortened her comments. Every young woman should read them. This is precisely what she said:

Dennis, I want to get right to it. I’m 50 years old with four college degrees. I was raised by a feminist mother with no father in the home. My mother told me get an education to the maximum level so that you can get out in the world, make a lot of money. And that’s the path I followed. I make adequate money. I don’t make a ton of money. But I do make enough to support my own household.

I want to tell women in their 20s: Do not follow the path that I followed. You are leading yourself to a life of loneliness. All of your friends will be getting married and having children, and you’re working to compete in the world, and what you’re doing is competing with men. Men don’t like competitors. Men want a partner. It took me until my late 40s to realize this.

And by the time you have your own household with all your own bills, you can’t get off that track, because now you’ve got to make the money to pay your bills. It’s hard to find a partner in your late 40s to date because you also start losing self-confidence about your looks, your body. It’s not the same as it was in your 20s. You try to do what you can to make your life fulfilling. I have cats and dogs. But it’s lonely when you see your friends having children, going on vacations, planning the lives of their children, and you don’t do anything at night but come home to your cats and dogs. I don’t want other women to do what I have done.

How did this happen to her?

Somebody asked me the other day, “Why did you stay single and never have kids?” There’s answers: Because I was brainwashed by my mother into this. But it’s hard and it’s shameful to tell people, “I don’t know. I ran out of time.”

There’s not a good answer for it except “I was programmed to get into the workforce, compete with men and make money.” Supposedly, that would be a fulfilling life. But I was told that by a feminist mother who was divorced, who hated her husband — my father.

She tried to steer me on what she thought was the right path, but feminism is a lie. That’s what I want women to know.

I didn’t realize this until late in life. I want to tell women: Find someone in your 20s. That’s when you’re still very cute. That’s when you’re still amiable to working out problems with someone. It’s harder in your 50s, when you’ve lived alone, to compromise with someone, to have someone in your home and every little thing about them annoys you because you’re so used to being alone. It’s hard to undo that, so don’t do what I did. Find someone in your 20s.

I don’t want young women to be wasting their teens and 20s like this woman is, choosing men for relationships using criteria that have nothing at all to do with marriage, or what a man does in a marriage.

Look at this weird list of criteria from a dating ad – is any of this related to the actual work that a man does as a husband and father?

This person is looking for domestic violence, not a husband
She’s looking for drama, domestic violence and instability – not for a husband

I see young women going for “bad boy” qualities a lot, but for some reason, they think that the bad boy will turn into a good man. What could cause this? Is it that easy to change a man? I don’t think that men change that easily, which is why you should pick the man you marry based on his ability to do the work.

I think young women should focus their energy on relationships with men who are sober and chaste, and looking to commit and start a family. These men are easy for women to find when the women are in their teens and early 20s, but much harder for women to find if they delay marriage into their 30s and 40s. Although these marriage-minded men may not be “attractive” according to “bad boy” criteria, they should be selected because they are good at marriage, and want to marry sooner, rather than later. Feelings are not the best way to judge a man. Sometimes, you have to look at his academic transcripts, his resume, his bank account, his library.

On the other hand, I would advise successful man to choose a woman who is attracted to his abilities as a husband and father. Choose a woman who respects your ability to be serious, to be self-controlled, to be focused on serving others, and to achieve what you set out to achieve. Men need respect more than they need oxygen. In order to get that respect, a man has to choose a woman who has, from earliest times, preferred men who have good moral character, demonstrated leadership ability, and a proven record of achieving what he set out to achieve by wise decision-making.

16 thoughts on “Older career woman calls Dennis Prager show to warn young women about marriage”

  1. I hope women heed her advice. I’m glad my daughters married fairly young (22 and 25) – at least compared to current standards. Women need to understand basic math: If they wait until their 30s, then there will be far fewer guys left. And those that are left are very unlikely to meet their unrealistic criteria. And the few that do meet their criteria *won’t be interested in them!* They will want younger, less aggressive women for marriage — if they want to marry at all. And they definitely won’t want women who spend their teens and twenties sleeping around.

    Yes, feminists like that lady’s mother have been giving horrible, satanic advice for decades.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. In that Husband Checklist, it is amazing that she is basically describing a wife beater.

    Feminists say that they reject the Patriarchy, but they are really replacing it with a female version. What feminists do to unborn children is far more repulsive than even a wife beater would be. Speaking of which, it’s very interesting to see MMA type fights with biological males posing as “women” beating the stuffing out of biological women.

    They wanted the bad boys, they got the bad boys. Now, they’ve got STDs, the blood of their unborn children on their hands, and a black eye to boot.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s a great point. I think our society doesn’t understand that women are flawed just as much as men, and that they need to be balanced out by men, just as much as men need to be balanced out by women. If you look at lesbian relationships, they have the highest rates of instability (breaking up), and domestic violence. That’s because you have two individuals whose commitment is conditional on emotional satisfaction. Two people who have uncontrolled emotions. Two people who are less logical and practical.

        What works is a mix of male and female natures.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, that’s what I thought! I was looking at another one yesterday where another single mother was saying “I want to be treated like a queen! But then in the dating ad, she says that she’s been in an abusive relation for 6.5 years.

      Look: https://imgur.com/1yrrFe0

      Dating Ad

      A lot of women aren’t attracted to normal men. They want the tingles and drama of the tall, hot bad boy with earrings and tattoos. But they dont see that this outward appearance means anything with respect to the man’s morals. In their thinking, religion, morality etc. Are all magically divorced from the man’s appearance and past actions. She can magically change all that LATER, by nagging or sex-wothholding. The important thing NOW is his appearance.

      It turns out that this is where the high divorce rate comes from – young feminist women choosing men for their hot bad boy appearance. They don’t want morality or religion, those are “judgy”. And they think “judging” is bad. In reality, a man who is good at protecting, providing, moral leading and spiritual leading HAS TO be good at making judgments about what is and isn’t true, and what is and isn’t right.

      So, this is a situation where women are choosing what feels good in the moment, and not choosing what actually works in the long run.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Those profiles are straight out of fantasy land.

        “Strong, independent woman” = Run away, guys.

        “Single mom of two amazing children” = Run faster. You will always come in second to her kids, and probably to the baby daddy/daddies. But you’ll get to fund their lifestyles and risk your assets, so there’s that.

        Bad choices in prior men = Keep running.

        Wants to be treated like a queen? She’s watched way too many Disney movies. What makes women think they are all queens? If everyone is a queen, then no one is a queen. And if they mean queen of their house, then why aren’t they selling you on how they’ll treat you like a king?

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m working on a piece about this notion of women wanting to turn the bad boy and make him good. More and more I’m starting to think about this popular notion of “Good girls” go for “Bad Boys”.

    I don’t think that’s true. I think Bad Girls go for Bad Boys and those girls don’t know their bad, because they have a “good girl image”.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Men don’t like competitors. Men want a partner.

    The first sentence is true. The second is not.

    Men do not want to marry “partners”. We want wives. We want helpmeets.

    I have “partners”. I am employed by a law firm. My law firm colleagues are “partners”. We are peers.

    Husbands and wives are not peers. They are not equals. Husbands are to love their wives. Wives are to submit to and respect their husbands. That means husband is in charge; wife submits and helps.

    You can’t have two equal partners in a marriage. It just doesn’t work. Someone has to be in charge. Someone has to break the ties. Someone has to take final responsibility. At some point, this happens in every marriage where the two are deadlocked between two diametrically opposed positions. You cannot do both and you cannot do neither. You have to do one or the other.

    Someone has to make the final decision. Someone has to break the tie. My faith tradition and foundational scripture says that person is the husband.

    Women can not like this all they want. Women can wail and gnash their teeth and call me whatever names they want. I don’t care. It’s right there in the Book. I didn’t write it. You don’t like it? Take it up with God and work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

    The Word is what it is, it says what it says, it means what it means.

    Deal with it. Or remain miserable and alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a really good distinction. I’ve never really thought about that difference. Adam wickedly submitted to Eve, but even if they had viewed their marriage as a partnership, he would have probably given in, for the “good” of the marriage.

      His only God-honoring response would have been to say to God “This one is a reject. Now, what do we do?!?” I’m guessing that God would have struck Eve down and made Adam another helpmeet. That way there would have been Justice AND no issues about divorce – had He sent her away and out of the Garden. But, that’s just speculation on my part.

      Thank you for making that rather important distinction!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Could be.

        Eve was created as a helpmeet. It was only after God punished Eve that He “cursed” her with hating her position as a helpmeet (“your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you”). The common interpretation of that passage is “Eve, you will want to rule over your husband but he’ll rule over you. You’re to submit to him. You’ll hate it and you’ll push back against it, but you cannot rule over him.”

        And women have been thus ever since.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I get it. It’s uncomfortable for women to submit to men. It’s hard for a woman to pick a man and submit to him and respect him.

        I don’t care.

        There are a lot of things about being a man, and being a man who follows Christ, that are uncomfortable and hard for me.

        –I have to work. (See Genesis 3:17-19. “Adam, because you listened to your wife and not to Me, you don’t get to be in the Garden anymore. You have to go out and make your own way. You have to work for your food. It will be hard and difficult and time consuming and it will break your body.”)

        –I have to suffer rejection. I live with rejection all day, every day.

        –No one helps me. It’s all on me. I have to do it myself. If I don’t do it, or get someone else to do it, it doesn’t get done. I can’t look up to another man or to someone else to do it for me. It’s on me, it’s my job, it’s my responsibility.

        That’s life. That’s just the way it is.

        So women need to suck it up and deal with the fact that they have to submit. If I have to deal with my lot, then women do too.

        Suck. It. Up. And. Deal.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Re. “suck it up.” That’s a common saying in our house. We joke about going to Walgreen’s to pick up a bottle of Suck It Up. We went to a comedy sports improv night once with some in-laws and the kids. The comedian asked, “What are things your Mom would say to you?” My nephew reflexively answered, “Suck it up!” Those improv guys are so quick, but that left him speechless. My sister-in-law just shrugged and said, “Yep.” At a church small group meeting, the leader noticed me wincing from some back pain. My wife jokingly said, “Suck it up.” We found out shortly thereafter that it was cancer. Now I can tease her and say, “Remember when I had cancer and you told me to suck it up?” (She is actually a magnificent caregiver.)

          Good times.

          Liked by 1 person

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