Welcome to episode 7 of the Knight and Rose podcast! I sound very excited in this episode, and that’s because I was really delighted to talk about male roles in a Christian marriage with Rose. If you like this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, and subscribe to our Youtube channel. We would appreciate it if you left us a 5-star review on Apple iTunes / Apple Podcasts.
Podcast description:
Christian apologists Wintery Knight and Desert Rose discuss apologetics, policy, culture, relationships, and more. Each episode equips you with evidence you can use to boldly engage anyone, anywhere. We train our listeners to become Christian secret agents. Action and adventure guaranteed. 30-45 minutes per episode. New episode every week.
Episode 7:
Episode 7 Summary:
Wintery Knight and Desert Rose discuss marriage from a Christian perspective. We talked about what WK is looking for in a wife, and what he wants to achieve with marriage. We talked about traditional husband roles: protector, provider, moral, and spiritual leader. We discussed “servant leadership” and “male headship”. Rose evaluated an email from a naïve proponent of male headship. We talked about what we learned from our engagement with a Christian feminist.
Speaker biographies
Wintery Knight is a black legal immigrant. He is a senior software engineer by day, and an amateur Christian apologist by night. He has been blogging at winteryknight.com since January of 2009, covering news, policy and Christian worldview issues.
Desert Rose did her undergraduate degree in public policy, and then worked for a conservative Washington lobbyist organization. She also has a graduate degree from a prestigious evangelical seminary. She is active in Christian apologetics as a speaker, author, and teacher.
References
What Should Social Conservatives Do to Reduce Abortion and Single Motherhood? by Wintery Knight (responding to a feminist about hook-up culture)
New Census Bureau Data: U.S. Marriage Rate Reaches All Time Low by Wintery Knight
Are Feminists Right to Think That Gender-Neutral Marriage Makes Women Happier? by Wintery Knight
Support for Secular Left Policies Increasing Among Young, Unmarried Feminists by Wintery Knight
Brett Kunkle and Immersive Experiences with Maven
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Music attribution:
Strength Of The Titans by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/5744-strength-of-the-titans
License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
WINTERY KNIGHT 
Just FYI (and I know it’s terribly un-PC):
As a Christian man, husband, and leader, I see my role as being a benevolent dictator. I’ll highly consider good advice — I’m wise to consider wisdom. My wife often does give good input and I appreciate that. However, “the final say goes to me” and sometimes I need to convince my wife / family / etc. to get on board / persuade them.
Sometimes I defer to my wife — like I really am not terribly picky about a lot of things. There are hills I will die on and there are a lot of things that are like … “You want to do X? Why do you want to do X?” (she would give reasons) “Okay, let’s do that.”
In other words, while I have the final say, I may use my choice to side with my wife.
My wife was the one who picked going to Mount Vernon (great place especially for you WK) or Jamestown/Yorktown.
Regarding your patriarchal friend … Genesis 1+2 lay down the paradigm for all marriages.
If God wanted for man to have someone fetch slippers, God did make dogs :)
However, despite all this cool animal companionship (cats, dogs, parrots, red pandas, …) there was no suitable (or fit) helper (Genesis 2:20)
It’s not that man was alone or lacking pets or even a fetcher of slippers.
Man lacked someone like him (i.e., of the same species) who would help him fulfill the Creation and Cultural Mandates: to multiply and fill the earth and to subdue/guard it and to obey God.
And “taken from his side/rib,” — Henri Blocher had this insight: that it could be interpreted figuratively, that woman is literally “his sidekick, his partner, his equal.”
And absolutely — I got married a bit later in life (I was 36 when I met my wife, 38 when we got married). Maybe some of that was “figuring out dating” and socializing and other things. Certainly I wasn’t going to chase the most physically attractive women who lacked character nor people who said they aspired to be leaders. I spent a lot of time discerning and I think I did pretty well.
I would add that you should find someone who does have similar values (and morals and goals) as Billy Graham once wrote, but also, who can complement you. For instance, there were times my wife was happy to stay home with our young kids while I got a chance to speak on campuses or do my ministry things.
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Love the “benevolent dictator” thing. We need more of this in the church, more men balanced in the middle of the continuum between “authoritarian control freak” and “sniveling simp”. Men in the former camp need advice like “choose your battles carefully and manage well” while men in the latter need to be encouraged to man up and tell your woman what to do, because they want that.
My wife has learned the importance of submission and obedience and teaches other women these things. My daughter submits to me in everything because she sees her mother doing so graciously and having fun doing it.
Even in daily “fetch my slippers” stuff my wife has grown into a helper role and loves to please her family. Not because I commanded it, because she wants to. We laugh at the “barefoot and pregnant” thing because the women I respect find that a natural and desirable state of womanhood.
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