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American father loses parental rights after ex-wife announces their child is transgender

A while back, I blogged about a case in Canada, where a father was imprisoned for objecting to the forced transgendering of his child by the schools, hospitals, lawyers and judges. The people pushing for the transgendering were all feminists and LGBT activists. That case was quite disturbing, and I was wondering when this would come to America. Then I found an article by Abigail Shrier in City Journal.

The father, Ted, is a senior software engineer with Apple. He is comfortable living in San Francisco. His wife Christine is an executive at BlackRock, the firm that is always buying up people’s houses and then renting them out. They also champion ESG, which is a social credit system for businesses, that leads to socialism.

Things started to go wrong for Ted when his wife moved to the East coast with the two boys for family reasons:

Ted was then fully preoccupied with a grueling six-week project for Apple… On a Saturday in August 2019, shortly after returning from upstate New York with the boys, Christine walked into Ted’s home office and announced both that she was leaving and that their son Drew was transgender… Christine walked out, taking the kids to stay with her at a neighbor’s house.

Most women who go along with transgendering do so because they want their children to like them, and they want to be seen as compassionate and tolerant by their peers.

But the father did research on the risks to his child:

While trying to keep an open mind about Drew’s gender, Ted was adamant to the judge that he did not want Drew to begin medical transition. In the 312 days since he had last seen his boy, Ted had done a lot of research on medical transition and gender dysphoria. He begged the court to consider research that suggested puberty blockers could impair cognition and diminish bone density. He knew that Drew, if administered puberty blockers along with estrogen, would be at high risk of permanent infertility. He wasn’t even sure that his son had gender dysphoria. He wanted to see his son—and he wanted this bullet train to slow down.

The San Francisco judge awarded full custody of Drew to his wife:

On June 24, 2020… Judge Joni Hiramoto granted Christine sole legal custody of Drew on a temporary basis and approved the shared legal and physical custody arrangement of their younger son. She assured Ted that her order was not yet permanent. Judge Hiramoto had decided to order the appointment of a minor’s counsel to investigate how the boys were faring before making any permanent decisions. She already had the perfect person in mind. “I actually know of one who was previously appointed by the court, by a different judge, on a case involving children that were allegedly transgender,” she said. That minor’s counsel was attorney Daniel Harkins.

Harkins decided that Ted’s hesitance to drug therapy and sex change surgery was a sign that Ted was not a fit parent:

Based on the lengthy minor’s counsel report, Harkins gave Ted’s parenting a failing grade: “Father has not been accepting of [Drew’s] status as transgender. He has been quite clear that he does not accept that [Drew] is in fact transgender.”

[…]Harkins’s judgment was swift and ironclad: mom should retain full legal custody on a permanent basis and provide Ted updates, at her discretion, regarding matters that affect Drew’s health, education, and welfare. Drew would commence hormone therapy, as directed by USCF. Judge Hiramoto made all this official. The only right that Ted seems to have retained is the power to prevent Drew from undergoing “any gender identity related surgery” before he turns 18, absent agreement of both parties.

Without Ted’s knowledge or permission, Drew got a puberty-blocking implant, and Ted had to pay:

In October 2021, Ted was stunned by a $209,820.34 charge on his insurance statement. When he wrote to Christine, she confirmed that a puberty-blocking implant had been inserted in Drew’s arm months earlier and that Drew had begun a course of cross-sex hormones. The combination—if not soon stopped—would likely sterilize Drew. No one had asked Ted’s permission for the procedure or even informed Ted of what had been done.

This part is interesting, especially for men who are considering marriage and having children today.

Read it carefully:

Ted responded to this news with a flurry of e-mails to Christine’s attorney. He told Christine’s lawyer that the medical procedure was in violation of a court order, and Christine was risking being held in contempt of court. A day later, Christine’s lawyer filed a request for a Domestic Violence Restraining Order against Ted, alleging that he had spoken to his ex-wife “menacingly” at their younger son’s football games. Ted was served with the temporary restraining order; California law now required him to relinquish all his firearms within 24 hours or potentially face felony charges. He quickly complied.

Ted was informed about the long-term consequences of the decision, because he had looked at evidence. But how did his ex-wife respond to his evidence? By charging him with domestic violence. Not actual violence, but just words of disagreement which caused her to feel unhappy.

Ted made the decision to let people at his Silicon Valley company know what was happening in a company Slack channel. Slack is software used to allow employees to communicate with each other in a chat format. People in the channel were offended, and reported him to Human Resources:

Ted joined the Apple Slack channel devoted to “trans kid parenting” and shared his outrage and concern about his son’s medical transition and the risks involved. The other members chastised him and reported Ted to “Employee Relations,” known everywhere else as “HR.” Ted now worries for his job.

The details of Ted’s divorce were not revealed in the article, but if he is supposed to pay child support and alimony to his wife, and he lost his job, he probably would still have come up with the same amount of money, or go to prison for not paying his debts. That’s how the divorce courts work.

And here is how the story ended for with Harkins:

Within just a few months, the court would definitively end Ted’s parental relationship. He would have no right to see Drew, no right to talk to him, no right to demand that Drew attend therapy with him, and absolutely no right to stop a medical transition already planned by the Child and Adolescent Gender Center of UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital.

And now I want to say something about what this means to me as a Christian man, who is frequently urged to go to church and get married and have children by church-attending women and pastors.

The denial of male headship

The overriding of male leadership of the home that you saw from the judge and the attorney is universal… even among conservative evangelical Christian women who claim to be social conservatives. One evangelical Christian social conservative woman told me that “Masculinity means that men use their strength to protect and provide for women”. Another one told me that male headship does not exist in the Bible, and that men have no authority in marriages – only responsibilities. She also said that when women divorce, it is ALWAYS the fault of their husbands for not meeting the wife’s emotional needs.

Even many evangelical Christian socially conservative women don’t think that men have a distinct role to confront evil, protect their children, or lead their homes. They would side with the divorcing wife and the female judge against the mean, excluding, judgmental, father Ted. They would say that men’s role in marriage is to be compassionate, tolerant, and to make their wives happy.

Marriage and child-bearing exposes you to the state

To Christian men who are considering marriage and child-raising, you need to choose women who form their views on morality, policy, etc. through reason and evidence. If she isn’t interested in truth, then understand that her views will be formed by her feelings and peer-approval. You will not be able to change her mind by appealing to reason and evidence. Look for women who have the demonstrated ability to defend their theological and moral views against the secular left culture. For example, the issue of male headship in marriage. Otherwise, you can expect the treatment that Ted got at the hands of his ex-wife, the judge, etc. Divorce is a nightmare for men. The feminist state will overpower you. You will lose your freedom, your savings and your children. You will become a slave.

Read 2 Tim 2:4 and consider whether you want to use your freedom and finances to serve God, or whether you want to be controlled by the secular left state. As a Christian man, you already have a Boss. A woman’s role is to help you serve your Boss. Beware of women who want to take the place of your Boss. Beware of women who think that marriage is about you making them happy. Beware of women who scorn your moral leadership. Beware of women who demand that you show compassion, tolerance and approval for whatever is popular in the secular left culture.

20 thoughts on “American father loses parental rights after ex-wife announces their child is transgender”

    1. What’s been alarming to me lately us hearing from conservative evangelical women about who they think marriage is for. There is no sympathy for men being fighters and leaders. Men are just supposed to go along with the compassion and tolerance that women find so attractive these days. No thanks.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. The good news is that you aren’t going to have to worry about spending Eternity with these types of “conservative evangelical women,” because they aren’t going to the same place that we are. Very few women in the churches will be in the Kingdom – most are hyper-feminized even when they do not recognize it.. Very few men of this age are going to the Kingdom too, but the strong Christian men left the “churches” a long time ago. They recognized that it is soul damaging to sit in a watered down, lukewarm, apathetic, feminized entertainment center listening to another sermon that has ZERO to do with engaging the wicked culture with boldness, salt, and light.

        The other good news is that because transgendering children is a horrific form of child abuse, torture, and a Luke 17:2 offense, this “mother” and the judges are going to get tortured big time in Hell. They will be BEGGING for a millstone, but none will be forthcoming. Hopefully we will get a look-in, like Lazarus did with the rich man, to see that Justice is indeed being served. Regardless, their Hell is going to be significantly worse than most will experience. Maybe not worse than partial birth abortion champion RBG, but worse than most.

        In the meantime, we fight. I guess one GOP Governor stands up for these poor children – Abbott?!? The rest really do not much care.

        Liked by 2 people

  1. It’s going to be interesting in the coming years how many lawsuits against these so-called adults in authority positions are launched by kids who were groomed -and that’s exactly what it is – for transgenderism. There’s a reason minors are prevented from doing such things, as they cannot fully comprehend and understand all their decisions entail and the long-lasting effects on their minds and bodies in the case of “transitioning.” It’s here where their parents are supposed to protect them. It’ll serve these so-called mothers right if their kids hate them for life because of their refusal to protect their own kids. Refusal to protect their own kids – mind boggling thought.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. If the Republicans were smart, they would side with the children and allow lawsuits against the teachers, administrators, doctors, nurses, layers and judges to just clean them out financially. That would send a message to the compassion and tolerance crowd.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. Exactly. It is an indicator of their entire worldview.

        When a person supports abortion, they are saying that the fun-seeking if the powerful adults is more important than the duty to protect and provide for your own offspring. The baby doesn’t choose to be conceived. The parents choose. If the parents don’t want responsibility, then that tells you what marriage to that person would be like. It’s saying “your job us to make me happy, and if you don’t then I will do whatever I have to do to be happy, including murder my child.”

        That’s why the using the court to take full custody and cut off parental rights is so understandable. If a woman will kill her child, then its easy to see why she would make him fatherless. This hatred of make judgment is everywhere in the decision-making if modern women. They want to feel good. There are no constraints on that desire to feel good.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. But, but, but… it’s about a woman’s reproductive freedom. She should have the right to decide what to do with her own body.

        With no regard whatsoever for the life of the unborn child.

        Liked by 2 people

    2. I wonder whether this is a form of Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy. My sister-in-law seems to revel in being mom to a transgendered daughter. It makes her “special” and “unique” in the eyes of her Cambridge, MA social set. She becomes the center of every conversation. I fear that some day these women will pay a terrible price: when their regretful children kill themselves, when their regretful children hate them, or when their regretful children turn on them and kill them.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The eldest of my 3 children (in his 30s) has been seduced by this lie. The last 7 years learning to live with this happening to my family has been devastating. In the first 6 years my son did all he could to get me to affirm his choice but I have refused to do so. Consequently a year ago, he and one of his siblings have chosen to cut me out of their lives because I will not do this. The third child was originally onside with the other two, but he has done his own research and is now aware of the delusional behaviour this is. I am fed up with people thinking my stance is hatred where it is the exact opposite – I refuse to affirm and approve of anything that is harmful to my children, because I love them. How can I approve of this harmful direction for my son’s life? And now I have been rejected because of that love, so I know this man’s pain. Those who say we parents should be celebrating the ‘real’ identity of our children have no idea of the pain we go through. It is a living grief – a grief as real as grieving a dead loved one – and that is exactly what we are doing. But this grief remains unresolved because while our loved ones are ‘dead’ in one sense, they are still physically alive and walking this world. That plays havoc with a person’s mind at times. Without a faith in Jesus I think I would have given up long ago and caved in, just to be loved by my son and keep relationship with him. But as Christ willingly gave up a key part of his identity out of love for the world, I have willingly had to give up a key part of my own identity out of love for my son – the part of my identity that is known as ‘mum.’ That hurts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s a small taste of what Christ went through. But, He was very open about dividing up families with His Sword of Truth.

      When a culture is this wicked, how can we have no enemies? If we are TRULY following Christ closely in this Freak Show, how can we NOT suffer?

      The Lord bless and protect you and comfort you, and the Lord bless your children with repentance too, so that they leave the wide road that leads to destruction.

      Liked by 1 person

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