The New York Times explains why the leftist elite supports narcissism and divorce

Here’s a wonderful romantic story endorsed by the New York Times, which represents the worldview of elite leftists. (H/T ECM)

Excerpt:

WHAT happens when love comes at the wrong time?

Carol Anne Riddell and John Partilla met in 2006 in a pre-kindergarten classroom. They both had children attending the same Upper West Side school. They also both had spouses.

[…]Mrs. Riddell was a reporter and anchor on WNBC television in New York and a mother of two.[…]Mr. Partilla, then a 42-year-old triathlete and a president of media sales at Time Warner, recognized a kindred dynamo. “She’s such a force,” he said. “She rocks back and forth on her feet as if she can’t contain her energy as she’s talking to you.”

The connection was immediate, but platonic. In fact, as they became friends so did their spouses. There were dinners, Christmas parties and even family vacations together.

So Ms. Riddell was surprised to find herself eagerly looking for Mr. Partilla at school events — and missing him when he wasn’t there. “I didn’t admit to anyone how I felt,” she said. “To even think about it was disruptive and disloyal.”

What she didn’t know was that he was experiencing similar emotions. “First I tried to deny it,” Mr. Partilla said. “Then I tried to ignore it.”

But it was hard to ignore their easy rapport. They got each other’s jokes and finished each other’s sentences. They shared a similar rhythm in the way they talked and moved. The very things one hopes to find in another person, but not when you’re married to someone else.

Ms. Riddell said she remembered crying in the shower, asking: “Why am I being punished? Why did someone throw him in my path when I can’t have him?”

[…]As Mr. Partilla saw it, their options were either to act on their feelings and break up their marriages or to deny their feelings and live dishonestly.

[…]“I did a terrible thing as honorably as I could,” said Mr. Partilla, who moved out of his home, reluctantly leaving his three children.

[…]The pain he had predicted pervaded both of their lives as they faced distraught children and devastated spouses, while the grapevine buzzed and neighbors ostracized them.

[…]All they had were their feelings, which Ms. Riddell described as “unconditional and all-encompassing.”

“I came to realize it wasn’t a punishment, it was a gift,” she said. “But I had to earn it. Were we brave enough to hold hands and jump?”

[…]“I didn’t believe in the word soul mate before, but now I do,” said Mr. Partilla.

[…]“My kids are going to look at me and know that I am flawed and not perfect, but also deeply in love,” she said. “We’re going to have a big, noisy, rich life, with more love and more people in it.”

Just FYI, I am using the word “adultery” for this because I consider carrying on an emotional affair while you are married to be adultery.

I think that this view is very popular among liberal elite circles, such as New York city. These elite liberals get very impatient with morality once they have risen to a certain level. They tend to want to elevate the pursuit of happiness (the “right” to be happy) over moral obligations to other family members who depend on them. There is no transcendent purpose for marriage, on their view – it is just another thing that is supposed to make them happy, like cars, vacations and careers. It doesn’t really matter what happens to the children. The leftist elites blunder their way into marriages thinking that marriage is just another accessory added to their exciting glamorous lives, like triathlons and careers in news media. (Or yoga, recycling, animal rights crusading, and vegetarianism in other cases). Then they find a way to weasel out of their marriages so that they can be happier and more fulfilled with more glamorous and exciting partners. But what is the deeper issue underlying this view of marriage? After all, people didn’t use to treat marriage as being about personal fulfillment… what happened?

The root cause

Obviously the people in our story are either functional atheists or outright atheists, since they are unrepentant adulterers. So why do atheists struggle so much with staying married? Let’s see.

You know how I am always talking about how atheism doesn’t rationally ground self-sacrificial moral obligations? Well this instance of adultery is exactly the kind of example that I am talking about. The problems with atheism and morality arises when an atheist is confronted with a desire to be happy that goes against what his society in that time and place considers to be moral. On atheism, right and wrong are relative to an arbitrary time and place in which the atheist was born – they are just like traffic laws and clothing fashions. It’s arbitrary. And no atheist in the world is going to sacrifice a moment of happiness because of arbitrary customs and conventions that change over time and place – as long as they can escape the consequences. The whole point of atheism is to dismiss moral obligations, to look down on those who are moral as stupid, and to pursue selfish happiness in this life. But what happens when atheists face a “moral obligation” (as defined by culture) that goes against their self-interest, i.e. – their feelings?  Well, the moral obligations go out the window – as long as they can avoid the social costs and punishments of their society (which is why the left is always so busy breaking down the Judeo-Christian morality of parents in the secular leftist public schools – they don’t want your kids to judge them for things like adultery and divorce). This is why the left support same-sex marriage – they want to redefine marriage so that it is based on the feelings and needs of selfish adults, not on moral obligations to children. The left doesn’t care about born children any more than they care about unborn children – they care about themselves. And they spin these self-serving “i’m the brave victim of your silly cultural prejudices” stories to minimize their culpability for the damage they cause. They are inventing a new standard of morality – one that glorifies selfishness and the triumph of the strong over the weak (children, born and unborn).

On the Christian worldview, God is real, and he has a design plan for us. Part of that design plan is that we were made to honor our relationship with him. Honoring that relationship with him means treating others a certain way, especially our spouses and children. We have to train our whole lives in order to be able to shoulder the burdens of family relationships – to our spouse and to our children. If a man neglects his education or his employment history or his investment portfolio, then he cannot be a provider. His feelings on those obligations don’t matter. If he wants to marry, he has a God-given obligation to provide. If a woman reads “The Shack” instead of “On Guard”, votes Democrat because she thinks that the Comedy Channel is more reliable than Fox News, and sleeps around a lot in college after freely choosing to make herself drunk, then she has failed to prepare for her role as a mother and wife. Denying yourself happiness as you prepare for moral obligations in a marriage is not rational in a godless universe. If God does not exist, then there is no way you ought to be, and no way marriage ought to be, and no way children ought to be treated. Children are the biggest victims of all – if the leftists aren’t killing them outright through abortion, then they are voting for no-fault divorce, single mother welfare, same-sex marriage, etc. in order to encourage selfish adults to deny children relationships with their two biological parents.

The problem with the left is that they want the prestige of marriage, but they won’t give up their selfish moral relativism. But how can marriage, which is built on the idea of vows and self-sacrificial moral obligations, be entered into by non-theistic self-centered leftists who are guided only by their self-interest and their emotions? It can’t. What they should have done is invented a new relationship, like cohabitation, and entered into that. But what they did, and what same-sex marriage activists are trying to do, is entering into marriage and then changing marriage into cohabitation by law. This is what conservatives mean when we say that no-fault divorce and same-sex marriage change marriage. If one party can dissolve a marriage unilaterally, then marriage has no meaning. If marriage can be had by people in non-exclusive relationships, then marriage has no meaning. They should have invented somethings else – something consistent with a worldview that denies self-sacrifice and moral obligations to children.

Anyway, read the whole disgusting, self-serving New York Times story, and leave me some comments.

16 thoughts on “The New York Times explains why the leftist elite supports narcissism and divorce”

  1. I had a relationship like that with someone. We were so connected. I ultimately left the relationship because of a difference in worldview. This loser left his kids for another woman and then has the cojones to talk about being honorable.

    Makes me sick to my stomach that most people don’t know the first thing about honor and respect these days.

    Like

    1. I think that you did the right thing for the sake of your children. You do not want to be trying to run a household with someone who doesn’t agree with you on worldview.

      Like

  2. Nauseating.

    That marriage is going to fall apart before you can say “New York Times”. The thrill of the forbidden will wear off. They’ll start to notice each other’s flaws. Suddenly, one of them won’t feel “happy” anymore. And then they’ll say they “made a terrible mistake” in marrying the other person but “they don’t regret it” (because regret implies guilt and we should never ever feel guilty). They’ll say “it was only meant to last a short time”. And they’ll divorce again, to avoid “living a lie”. And they’ll go all philosophical on us and speak of their great bravery in doing what they did.

    Ew.

    Like

  3. I have seen this sort of thing firsthand. Discontentment leads to questions of why does one put up with “this”…. The grass is always greener on the other side. Its pure selfishness.

    No where in scripture can I find the “right” to be happy, nor the “right” to do what we want regardless of the means (or ends for that matter). What I find is the need to be holy and obedient to God. But since this is the case, people then have to do what they can to call into question the reliability of the word of God and whether God REALLY said…

    Then once they feel free to ignore what God has said, they can justify the so-called right to be happy….

    Like

  4. To be fair, there are plenty of atheists who do believe in the civic virtues, honoring one’s word as bond, and so forth. Natural law can be deduced by reason, and most people do honor the conventions of morality they were raised to honor even if they dump the beliefs behind them. Also, in practice, people can be just as illogically apt to do good against their beliefs as religious people are apt to do evil against them.

    Now, in the long run and in the majority, I have no objection to you saying what you say. This isn’t an age of stern self-denying moralizing stoic atheists, either, but of hedonistic atheists. But it’s not fair to generalize so broadly without a word for the stoic moralizing atheists that still exist.

    In fact, I have to say that a lot of the trouble in these cases comes from vaguely spiritual people who believe that God, the gods, the natural forces, and the life energy of the world all want them to do whatever they want to be doing, and that therefore their actions are moral and spiritual, possible divine.

    Like

    1. Yes, yes. I agree with you about the stoic moralizing atheists. You are right and I was wrong. My only point was that when push comes to shove, people act based on what they really believe. Although stern moralistic Stoic atheists exist and do right in most cases, they are not really going to go to the mat to protest things like slavery, abortion, Communism, Marxism and Nazism when it might cost them their lives, and will certainly cost them their happiness. It’s not rational for them to suffer for illusory standards of morality in an accidental and mindless universe.

      Like

  5. Did a little searching in the NY Times wedding announcements. Riddell married her first husband in 1995, in a United Methodist ceremony in Georgia. There seems no reason to believe that either party’s family was atheist, or that she was.

    Mr. Partilla was first married in 1994, in a Presbyterian church by a Presbyterian minister. Again, both families seem to have been religious.

    Like

    1. Wow! I guess that everyone who gets married in a liberal denomination is the theological equivalent of William Lane Craig. I’m sure that they were serious Christians too, since they later committed adultery with not a hint of guilt.

      Like

      1. “I think that this view is very popular among liberal elite circles, such as New York City.” Interesting comment, Wintery. Have you actually ever been to New York City?

        Ha! Thought not.

        Aside from the stupidity of making such a blanket generalization about a place you have never been, don’t you worry about breaking the ninth commandment (bearing false witness)?

        You do it so regularly–it is a bit shocking for one who claims the mantle of Christian discipleship.

        He who loveth not his brother, whom he hath seen; how can he love God, whom he hath not?

        Like

    2. I get the impression that it’s common for non-church goers to be married in church here in New Zealand. Not the atheist activist of course, but just people who aren’t really religious, but they still want to be married in church and have a pastor to do the ceremony.

      Like

    3. Many, although certainly not all, in the UMC are practical atheists. Also, I dont think you have to be a church goer to be married in a church. Cultural church goers often dont trust Christ.

      Like

  6. Nauseating is the EXACT right word, Mary.

    This is the only way these cowards can live with themselves: by moving the goalposts thereby making dishonor honorable.

    Really despicable.

    Like

Leave a comment