Clothes make the man?
At a recent speech, Obama handed out white lab coats to his audience to make them look smarter. That’s a good idea. Only smart people wear white lab coats as dumb people would just stain them with neon orange powdered cheese. Maybe Obama shouldn’t have stopped there, though. Maybe he should also have had them all wear mortar boards and have diplomas to hold in their hands so we would look at them and say, “Wow! These are smart people! If they agree with the president, then I should agree too so I will be smart!”
Actually, the president himself could use some smartening; maybe he should wear a mortar board and a lab coat at all times. Then if someone disagree with him, he could say, “Don’t you disagree with me! I’m very smart! Look at my hat! LOOK AT MY HAT! Now don’t bother me; I’m off to do Science!” He’d be impressive then; I bet everyone would stop making fun of him.
The Nobel Booby Prize
An unnamed member of the Nobel committee this morning explained the shocking decision to give the Nobel Peace Prize to U.S. President Barack Obama, who had served only 11 days as president when nominated, by noting that the gold medal would go a long way toward boosting Mr. Obama’s self-esteem.
“We used to give the award to persons who had actual accomplishments,” the anonymous source said. “But that’s so reactionary, and almost nostalgic. By giving the peace prize to Obama, we’re recognizing his potential, and applauding his intentions in a way that we hope will result in future actions.”
The committee members reportedly wanted to encourage Mr. Obama with something tangible because “his speeches make world peace seem almost possible.”
“It’s like putting a gold star on a student’s paper, or giving him the ‘most improved’ trophy when he makes a good effort,” the source said. “We don’t want the president to get discouraged, or to give up just because the overwhelming evidence of history and of human nature flies in the face of everything he has proposed.”
(Note: a booby prize is a joke prize that you win for getting last place in the rankings)
Latest Steven Crowder: (H/T Imao.us)
Happy Friday!
WINTERY KNIGHT 