In the past, I’ve written about how we need to get rid of no-fault divorce laws, if we expect men to feel comfortable about getting married. I’ve explained that men have seen what divorce does to other men, and to children. Some of us, like me, have read books and studies about it. And it’s a major reason why men don’t marry.

In today’s post, we’re going to look at an article in the far-left New York Times, written by a pro-abortion progressive feminist professor, who divorced her husband, making her two children fatherless.

What did he do wrong? Nothing.

Behold:

There was no emotional or physical abuse in our home. There was no absence of love. I was in love with my husband when we got divorced. Part of me is in love with him still. I suspect that will always be the case. Even now, after everything, when he walks into the room my stomach drops the same way it does before the roller coaster comes down. I divorced my husband not because I didn’t love him. I divorced him because I loved myself more.

[…]I made choice after choice to prioritize my career because I believed fervently in the importance of the work I was doing… [children of divorce] benefit because happier mothers are better parents.

[…] I knew that trying to force myself to subordinate my ambitions and always put our children first would have been impossible without lopping off a vital part of myself.

At the time of her decision, the children were aged 5 and 3! If she chose her career, that means that she was not raising them, during that critical first five years. Daycare is proven to be a poor substitute for the mother during those early years.

CafeMom notes:

No one is more acutely aware than Bazelon is of the many things she’s missed as a mother — things that have stuck with her through the years so strongly, she can mentally list them off one by one. They include, in her words: “My daughter’s seventh birthday, my son’s 10th birthday party, two family vacations, three Halloweens, [and] every school camping trip,” she writes. “I have never chaperoned, coached or organized a school event.”

My daughter’s seventh birthday was the worst. She cried… But I had a trial starting the next day, six hours away.”

Now, what about her statement about divorce being good for children, because if she is happy, then they will be happy? Many women believe this, and most communities for women affirm this. But is it true? What does the peer-reviewed data say?

Here’s a famous study (PDF) that says: (H/T Philip Greenspun)

This follow-up study of 131 children, who were 3–18 years old when their parents divorced in the early 1970s, marks the culmination of  25 years of research. The use of extensive clinical interviews  allowed for exploration in great depth of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as they negotiated childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, and adulthood. At the 25-year follow-up, a comparison group of their peers from the same community was added. Described in rich clinical detail, the findings highlight the unexpected gulf between growing up in intact versus divorced families, and the difficulties children of divorce encounter in achieving love, sexual intimacy, and commitment to marriage and parenthood. These findings have significant implications for new clinical and educational interventions.

Specifically: (I stole this from Philip)

Hardly any of our subjects described a happy childhood; in fact a number of children told us that “the day they divorced was the day my childhood ended.” … By the 25-year mark, the majority had decided not to have children.

No child of divorce in our study was invited by both parents, either separately or together, to discuss college plans. … Only 57% of the divorce group achieved their bachelor’s degree as compared with 90% in the comparison group. … Unhappy, [those who did attend college] settled for fields of study that were not their first choice, at lower ranked institutions than their parents had attended. It was at this time that one young person, echoing the emotions of many others, commented bitterly, “I paid for my parents’ divorce.”

The central finding of this study is that parental divorce impacts detrimentally the capacity to love and be loved within a lasting, committed relationship.

This study was actually made into a book, and I read it. That’s partly how I formed my views of divorce. In her column, the feminist refutes data like this with an anecdote. She “knows a person” whose experience refutes the peer-reviewed evidence. I don’t find that kind of self-serving rationalization very convincing. But it’s common.

By the way, I also read books about daycare when I was thinking about marriage, and I hate daycare, too. You would think that a smart feminist academic would read books about marriage, divorce and parenting like I did, and respect the evidence in her decision-making, rather than being led by her feelings.  I’m just a senior software engineer with 22 years of private sector experience. But I sure wouldn’t make decisions about marriage and children without reading books and studies first. What’s that old familiar saying in Information Technology? RTFM. Read The Freaking Manual. Engineers read the manual. Emotion-based people don’t.

Women may say to all this, “well, what do you expect me to do? Be unhappy with a bad man?” And the answer is – if you have children, then yes. The time to avoid getting married to a bad man is before you marry him. And we should teach women to disregard feelings, feminism, and peer approval. They should instead prepare themselves for marriage with chastity and sobriety, and choose men who are sober, chaste and have demonstrated commitment ability.

So here’s my conclusion. I don’t recommend that any man marry a feminist. If they are willing to kill their own children, then they are willing to abuse their own children with divorce. If they believe in same-sex marriage, then they don’t think that children deserve a mother AND a father. Don’t marry a secular leftist woman. You’ll pay, and your children will suffer.

Homeschooling moms who influence their neighbors, their local church, and the local university, for Christ, have the better end of the marriage deal. If I were married, I would trade places with my wife in a minute, if I could. It’s far more interesting to homeschool kids in great literature, science, economics, and computer programming, than it is to keep your mouth shut all day in an environment that is hostile to Christian convictions.

By now, everyone has heard about the murder of the 23-year-old lady by a 14-time repeat offender. The lady was just riding a light train in Charlotte, NC, and the criminal attacked her from behind and stabbed her many times with a knife. Two things are interesting about the story. First, the judiciary workers who released the criminal. Second, the reaction from corporate news media.

So, first, the facts of the case from Meg Basham at Daily Wire:

The victim, Iryna Zarutska, came to the United States in 2022. She was returning from her job at a local pizzeria when Decarlos Brown stabbed her repeatedly in the neck.

And this is the key part – in a Democrat-run city, the criminal was released FOURTEEN TIMES.

Brown had a lengthy criminal history, including at least 14 prior arrests for offenses such as armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon. Despite serving five years for the robbery, most of his other cases resulted in time served, probation, or community service.

His most recent arrest in January was for misusing 911, yet Judge Teresa Stokes granted him pretrial release despite his violent record. In 2024 alone, Brown had three encounters with the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department’s (CMPD) community policing team, each time receiving referrals to resources and fines rather than jail time.

According to Grok, here are the qualifications for her position:

Under North Carolina law (N.C.G.S. § 7A-171), magistrates are appointed judicial officials, not judges, and do not require a law degree or bar admission.

Requirements include:

• A four-year college degree, or a two-year associate degree with at least four years of experience in a related field (e.g., court administration, social services).
• Completion of a 40-hour basic training course within six months of appointment, covering civil and criminal duties.
• Annual continuing education through the North Carolina Administrative Office of the Courts (NCAOC) and UNC School of Government.

Grok also mentioned to me that she is married to a woman, Ayanna Ballard. Can you imagine choosing to live in a place like Charlotte, seeing the violent crime rates go higher and higher because of the failures of the district attorney and the others to deal with criminals and protect taxpayers? Why do people do it?

Anyway, the corporate news media was very upset… not with the murder, but with people noticing the murder.

Here’s Daily Signal:

Instead of focusing on the terrible and enraging crime that took place, it became one of their “conservatives pounce” spin jobs.

Axios put up a post on X, saying, “The gruesome video of the fatal knife attack on Iryna Zarutska on a light-rail car in Charlotte is drawing attention from MAGA influencers seeking to elevate the issue of violent urban crime—and accuse mainstream media of under-covering shocking cases.”

That wasn’t the only one, Politico was also concerned by the “political messaging war”, not by the actual murder of an innocent girl. Did you know that Democrats are the party of women’s rights? Yes, here is more of the Democrat party’s women’s-rightsing.

Here’s a gruesome story from September 9th, 2025, reported in the Daily Caller:

A Louisiana man reportedly may face chemical castration or the death penalty after he allegedly raped a four-year-girl on Aug. 1 and gave her Chlamydia.

Anthony James Jelks, 25, allegedly suggested that he raped the child on Aug. 1 at a Baton Rouge, Louisiana, residence, according to arrest documents obtained by WAFB.

[…]“Mr. Jelks, we have arrested six times over the past six years,” Baton Rouge Police Chief TJ Morse said. “He has everything from firearm charges to domestic violence battery, violation of protective orders, and is currently on probation.”

From May 2025, reported in New York Post:

College coed Logan Federico, 22, of Waxhaw, NC, was visiting friends in Columbia, SC, on May 3 when a prowler broke into a rental house, swiped her credit cards and gunned her down, the Columbia Police Department said in a press conference.

[…]Alexander Dickey, 30, a career criminal with 40 prior charges, allegedly broke into the rental home where Federico was staying and opened fire with a stolen gun after stealing from the house.

And here’s another one from December 2023, also reported in New York Post:

A troubled vagrant randomly stabbed two teenage girls enjoying a Christmas morning meal with their parents at a Grand Central Terminal restaurant — after ranting that he wanted “all white people dead,” authorities said.

[…]Hutcherson has 17 prior arrests on his rap sheet, sources said.

It’s hard for me to write about this. I am so upset by the attacks that are going on in Europe against young women, and then even now, here in the United States. And why? Because people vote for the secular left politicians. Secular leftists are dominated by irrational emotions. They have a real problem with moral judgments and punishments. For them, the important thing is to show great compassion with their non-judgement. They want to make a world in which no one can judge them for their evil.

In Europe, women’s groups are so concerned with prioritizing feeling good and looking good with virtue signaling, that they won’t even condemn crimes committed by unskilled immigrants from misogynistic countries against women.

The UK Daily Mirror explains:

More than 100 women’s rights groups have warned “racist” attempts to link sexual violence with immigration are putting victims at increased risk.

Rape Crisis England and Wales, the End Violence Against Women Coalition and Refuge are among the organisations warning anti-migrant groups and politicans are “hijacking” survivors’ trauma. They have signed a letter to Keir Starmer and Home Secretary Yvette Cooper warning that sexual abuse must not be used for political gain – and those who spread misinformation must be held to account.

Who pays the price for the “don’t judge” atttitude of the secular leftists? The victims of the criminals that they don’t punish pay the price. The real misogyny comes from the secular left. That’s why you should never vote for a secular leftist. They don’t have the ability to ground moral judgments and that’s why they need to be kept out of political power by wise voters.