Before we start, here are two articles explaining why men are supposedly not marrying. First one from a pastor. Second one from a sociologist. And this is, I think, the majority view: men are to blame for the decline of marriage, because men are stupid, weak, lazy and lacking ambition. Feminist women are great. Marriage laws are fair. Family courts are impartial. But is that all true?
Now, if you ask an actual man whether these are his reasons for not marrying, he will have a different list:
- women initiate the majority of divorces
- young women are increasingly politically leftist
- men can easily be fired for false accusations at work
- men are sentenced far more severely than women are sentenced, for the same crimes
- the Sexual Revolution encourages women to be promiscuous with the men who they find the most physically attractive
- family courts are biased against men, punishing men with alimony, child support, loss of custody, loss of visitation
- majority of student loan debt is held by women
- concerns about the moral impact of the books, music, TV shows and movies that are popular with young women
And so on.
I think if good Christian men had to pick just one factor that is deterring them from marriage, it would be no-fault divorce.
On this blog, I’ve covered several cases of the “nightmare scenario” facing men in divorce. One of those cases is the case of Rob Hoogland, which occurred in Canada.
There’s some new news about his case, reported in the London Daily:
A Canadian man, involved in a legal battle over his right to object to hormone treatment for his teenage trans child, has reportedly been jailed and denied bail for violating a gag order banning him from discussing the story.
Robert Hoogland was denied bail by the Vancouver Supreme Court on Friday and will remain in the North Fraser remand prison, according to news website the Post Millennial. He was arrested this week for contempt of court, due to his continued violation of an order restricting his speech regarding his transgender child.
I also reported on the case of an Apple senior software engineer named Ted Hudacko.
Here’s a report about him from City Journal:
Shortly after returning from a trip to New York with their two sons, Hudacko’s wife, Christine, told him that she wanted a divorce—and that their oldest son identified as transgender. During divorce proceedings, the presiding judge, Joni Hiramoto… stripped him of all custody of his trans-identified son. Hudacko was concerned about administering experimental drugs and preferred to wait and see if his son’s gender issues might resolve on their own, as usually happens in such cases. To the California judge, this confirmed his unfitness as a father.
I also reported on the case of a father from Texas named Jeff Younger, whose ex-wife wants to trans their kid.
And there a recent report about the status of his case in the New York Post:
A California judge dealt a devastating blow to a Texas father in his years-long fight to stop his ex-wife from allowing their pre-teen son, who identifies as a girl named “Luna,” to receive gender-affirming care.
Father of two Jeff Younger, 59, announced on X that he “lost all parental rights” over his twin sons after Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Mark Juhas granted his estranged pediatrician ex-wife Anne Georgulas the authority to “castrate” his 12-year-old son James.
I blogged on all of these cases, but it’s doubtful that pastors and pro-marriage sociologists have heard of any of them. They just want men to use their strength and finances to make women happy, and they don’t care about the actual risks and costs that men are facing.
But there’s been another case in the news just in the past week, reported in The Federalist:
After raising concerns about his then-13-year-old son taking puberty blockers and starting on a path to irreversible, experimental, and life-long medical interventions to “transition” into a girl, the Colorado government stripped father Robert Cameron of all rights to protect his child.
Colorado was able to do that because the child’s mother and Cameron’s ex-wife, Nancy Drake, used Colorado’s “affirmation only” legal structure to wage a war against Cameron through the courts. Drake, who joined forces with an activist therapist, has been able to use government force to push the now-14-year-old boy into the transition interventions which, if pursued in full, have the power to sterilize, reduce brain development, and cause bone density issues, among a host of other gruesome effects.
“My child is more important to me than whatever the court system may do to me. If my child needs to be saved, it’s my job as a parent to save him, and he needs to be saved right now. He needs to be saved from predation and manipulation,” Cameron told The Federalist. “I haven’t slept well in forever because I’m afraid for my child. I also see the adults preying on this child’s innocence. This all falls under the sexualization of children that we are engaging in as a society. That’s absolutely appalling. And I’m not even talking about the medical experiments we’re doing on children.”
[…]Cameron’s primary goal is to have his son be able to wait until he is 18 to make the decision, but Drake, who appears to have trigger-happy, extraordinarily litigious lawyers behind her, need the transition to start now, no questions asked — literally.
Drake, an academic in a left-wing community in Colorado with whom Cameron shares joint custody, successfully got the state of Colorado to block Cameron’s oversight over their son’s medical treatment or even speak to him about transgenderism…
[…]Drake did not respond to The Federalist’s request for comment, but within minutes of the request being sent, she threatened Cameron with calling Child Protective Services if he spoke to the media, claiming doing so means that he “intended [their son] to be harmed” and that it is “proof of child abuse.”
[…]Some weeks ago, Drake also attempted to stop Cameron’s ability to speak to pretty much anyone by requesting a gag order on top of the others already issued that would encompass “friends … anyone in our social circle … activists, and … the media,” claiming it puts their children (their son is one of two twins, the other, a girl) in “physical, medical, and psychological danger,” according to an email sent to the case arbitrator reviewed by The Federalist.
Drake threatened Cameron’s ability to have parenting time with their children at all.
Now, in every case I presented, I blame the MAN 100% for the problems he is facing. Why? Because people don’t change after you marry them. These women were terrible secular leftists before marriage, and these foolish men all chose to marry them anyway. Maybe because men tend to value youth and beauty above character. Men are responsible for marrying badly. And I have the same view when women marry badly. It’s the women’s fault.
My point is that good men who are not yet married look at these cases, and it causes them to want to decline to participate in dating and marriage. They don’t like the fact that these social workers, therapists, lawyers, judges, etc. have this VERY LOW VIEW of fatherly authority and leadership. They don’t want to be judged in a system run by man-haters. This is especially true for men who are well-educated and high earners. They don’t want to be ruined.
So, what should we think about pastors, sociologists, and feminist Christians in general, when they try to blame the decline of marriage on men? Well, an excellent question to ask them is “what reasons do conservative men who are well-educated, and financially successful have for declining the offer of “feminist” marriage?” If their answer is to blame and shame men some more, just understand that you are dealing with someone who is not interested in solving the underlying problem.
When I ask questions like this to social conservatives, even the ones who claim to be against divorce, they cannot bring themselves to take seriously the dangers of marriage for men. Instead, they try to make it seem that a man taking these risks is “brave” and “strong”. When I ask them if they shoe was on the other foot, and it was women who were facing these same risks, should she marry? And they say “Of course not. That’s unfair!”
Why is there this double standard? Could it be because even in the Christian church, there is a double standard that asserts that Christianity is really about making women happy, no matter what, and that men are expendable for this purpose? I’m not saying that the Bible teaches this. But I’ve found this view of Christianity to be extremely popular, and not just among egalitarians, but among complementarians, too. Especially the ones who redefine “male headship” to mean “servant leadership”. That really turns men off of marriage, because it makes them think that Christianity is being run by the ex-wives in these stories, and there is no support for male leadership at all.
WINTERY KNIGHT 
Very good article, WK.
And don’t forget that a feminst woman is MUCH more likely to abort your child if you marry her and conceive.
If they aren’t butchering their own children INSIDE of the womb, feminist women are sexually mutilating them OUTSIDE of the womb.
Western women have truly turned into the child predators of this age.
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I agree with Robert – very good blog post, albeit a bit heart-wrenching. Speaking of good blog posts, I want to thank you for keeping this blog alive. I used to like reading Christian blogs, but it seems like these days a lot of the activity has moved to YouTube. I much prefer the written word to the spoken word, so I appreciate that you’re continuing with the written word.
Anywho, I think there are a lot of reasons men these days don’t want to get married, but I’m not sure what the primary reason is. I could only speculate.
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I agree. I love WK’s blog, even if I can’t comment as much anymore.
It’s been sanctifying for me all of these years, and I’ve shared it many hundreds of times.
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I was right there with you until you blamed women’s sins entirely on men.
“Now, in every case I presented, I blame the MAN 100% for the problems he is facing.”
How about you blame the folks actually committing these Satanic atrocities. Do you think these men aren’t close enough to suicide already without their purported allies demonically taunting them that this is all 100% their fault?
In every single case you presented, a hate-filled woman was pushing for the castration of a man’s son, and the courts acted to strip the father of his right to protect his son. Satan is a deceiver and so are his helpers. I’ll wager that every single one of those wicked women lied about their core beliefs and deceived those far saner men into marrying them.
If you’re going to keep blaming men for every evil done to men, you ought to rename your site: “White Knight”.
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You make a fabulous point that we shouldn’t blame the male victims of these Jezebels from Hell.
The point that WK was making, I believe, is that these men did not properly vet the Jezebels that they married. WK has made numerous blogs over the 15 years or so that I’ve been following him about men treating a prospective wife as we would when hiring an employee in a job interview.
It doesn’t matter if she’s a liar, because that will come out when she presents her “resume” of accomplishments or lack thereof. Personally, if I were young and searching for a wife, if she hadn’t been to the sidewalks at the child sacrifice centers and shown real tangible actions, not just words, in fighting radical faux-men-ism, she would get a rejection letter from me. Any recent vote for a Democrat would also be a huge red flag, not that the Republican Party in 2025 is tremendously better.
That’s sort of my minimum standard, no matter how many times she called herself a “Christian,” which I doubt any of these Jezebels did even that. I realize, of course, that with a standard like that, I would probably be single, like WK, for life. 😂 Nevertheless, better a strict standard than a wicked Jezebel committing Luke 17:2 crimes against God and my children.
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For goodness sake, I said just those 4 men who chose crazy women. I wasn’t talking about every man!
I also blame women 100% when they choose crazy men. That’s fair, isn’t it?
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The women most likely didn’t initially present themselves as crazy women who would castrate their own sons, nor break their vows, it is quite likely they claimed to be everything those men wanted, to get those men to marry them. They may have had an amazing repentance story about how they were redeemed and even acted super excited to be led by their future husband into a righteous new life in Christ. Trust me. It happens!
If the man is 100% to blame “for the problems he is facing.” And now you say the woman is also 100% to blame, then between the two you’ve already allocated 200% blame for that situation. Apparently STEM ain’t what it used to be. 😉
God only blames people for their own wickedness and wickedness they induce others to do. These women are responsible for their own wickedness. Are you saying that these men were wicked for trusting these women, never suspecting they would later go back on their vows and castrate their sons, or that they induced them to castrate their own sons?
Those men may have acted upon foolish blue-pilled advice doled out at churches, just like I did, and even gotten married in a church, by a pastor, after multiple marriage counselling sessions, and much prayer for discernment. They may have grown up in the fear and admonition of the Lord and still gotten fed to the lions. Women can be quite evil and intentionally deceptive. To marry a man and then steal and castrate his son, to spite his God-given headship over them, they’d have to be utterly wicked.
Unless you have some evidence that these men married with evil intentions, it is evil surmising against them to blame them for what has happened against their rights, against their will, and against their concerted efforts.
While you may speculate as to the wisdom of their marital choices in hindsight, I won’t join in blaming those tormented men nor their poor brainwashed sons.
Job was the most righteous man of his time, and feared God and fled from evil, yet the wife whom he chose told him to “curse God and die”. Being wise and righteous doesn’t mean your wife won’t turn on you. And Hosea proved that loving your wife how God loves, won’t keep her from cuckolding you multiple times.
Luke 13:1 There were present at that season some that told him of the Galilaeans, whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. 2 And Jesus answering said unto them, Suppose ye that these Galilaeans were sinners above all the Galilaeans, because they suffered such things? 3 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.
According to God, bad things can happen to good people for no fault of their own. I think you’re faulting these men “100%” perhaps without proof that they had foreknowledge that their future wives were unfit to be decent mothers. While I am offering them the benefit of the doubt that they wouldn’t have married them had they suspected them to be likely to do such gratuitous evil.
That is the difference in our perspectives. I can share their burden without any desire to pin blame on them and thereby insinuate that they earned that pain through foolishness or that they carelessly brought it upon themselves.
You can still give advice on vetting without presuming foolishness on the part of double-crossed men, like Job, whose wives later turned against them. Job was wiser than you now are. Remember that Satan the tormenter killed all of Job’s children yet chose to leave his wife alive. Job’s friends tried blaming him too. God said they were foolish and sinful to utter that and that they should ask Job to offer sacrifices for them and pray for God to forgive them. And there is no true requirement (besides latent Feminism) for you to blame these greatly suffering men, is there? I can’t see a reason that you are forced to add insult and blame to the evil situation which these men already find themselves in.
I’m trying to correct you, so don’t assume that I don’t value you. Just see that I value you enough to risk our friendship if you are one who doesn’t take correction well.
You said: “Now, in every case I presented, I blame the MAN 100% for the problems he is facing.”
100% makes the men completely to blame.
Foolish, bullheaded, and wicked, Naboth is famously the guy in the Bible who had chosen one of the best wives. Solomon said “time and chance” can take down even the wise. Don’t forget it and assume that bad outcomes only happen to fools.
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You’re misunderstanding me. I am saying in the case where the man does not vet the crazy woman, he is to blame. And then in the case where the woman does not vet the crazy man, she is to blame.
So, take the specific case of Ted Hudacko, he married a career woman who worked for Blackrock, and is apparently a leftist. That’s why I’m blaming him. He didn’t marry a conservative Christian virgin. He didn’t check for demonstrated ability as a Christian apologist, and as a conservative policy advocate. He literally married a career-focused feminist who believes in ESG. Gross. He could have picked any woman, but no, he picked her. Also, he works for Apple, a woke company. Of course he is to blame!
I hope this makes sense. It’s like choosing a used car based on the color. “I like the color”, then it’s your fault if you get a lemon.
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Apparently I did partly misunderstand you. But I still won’t join you in blaming these men for the evil done to them and their sons. None of those men went into marriage expecting his future wife to castrate their sons, even if she was a leftist idiot.
And women bear responsibility for their degenerate lives and for their deceptions. If you are to properly apportion the blame the larger portion must go on the deceivers who defile their homes, cause divorce, and then castrate their husband’s offspring. And some blame must also go on the legal system and the society which allows this, and on all the impotent simp churches who together permit society’s values to decay under their passive watch.
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This is a great post, although I have to agree with Sharkly’s comment to an extent. Both perspectives are valid and relevant. It’s not as simple as screening out Jezebels from the jungle that is today’s’ marriage market because Jezebels are everywhere created and nurtured by the culture around them as much as by their own bad choices. These things feed off each other in a positive feedback loop such that it feels like normal modern womanhood to most women. It takes a church woman of exceptional character to avoid this Jezebel trap when in times gone by that was the exception and not the rule for women. Expecting the average man who is looking for a wife in church to be able to screen out the Jezebels even in church is like slashing through the jungle to find a single solitary rose. The likelihood of finding one is so small that it’s simply not worth the effort. And a man can’t do it on his own. A wingman used to be useful for that purpose but that’s of no use when the culture is so overgrown with barbs and thorns. There are definitely ways to improve the odds, but the odds are heavily stacked against men that any improvement isn’t going to change the outcome by much. Yes, you can blame men who fail to screen women well to a small extent, but only for going into the Jezebel jungle without understanding what they’re up against. And don’t forget that women have been hiding their true natures since the first woman Eve. And men, like the first man Adam, have always, always, always failed to recognise it when it matters. Sexual power is the most powerful power on earth.
After studying the effects of feminism on the culture for twenty years, I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way to make lifelong marriage work in society is to eradicate feminism from the culture, roll back its programs and return all of its its ill-gotten gains. There’s no other way. Don’t waste energy arguing with other men about the details, we’re never going to agree on everything. Find your place in the breach and put yourself in it, armed with every corrective tool you have, and fight. It will take a concerted effort over many generations. Remember that feminism took nearly a hundred years to work its poison into the culture. Men are only just waking up. We now need to get to work.
The mission is ahead of us. The culture that creates and nurtures Jezebels must be destroyed utterly and fed to the dogs like the biblical Jezebel. That’s the lesson the Bible teaches. No parley, no compromise, no escape from that end. That’s the task ahead of right-headed Christian men whether looking to marry or already married. Every encouragement to take up the challenge to cut down the Jezebel jungle should be given to each and every one of them. We’ll not agree on everything, but don’t waste energy on quibbles. It’ll take hard work, determination, persistence and may mean great sacrifice, but that’s what must be done. Suppress that ungainly urge to argue and get on with it.
We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in church, we shall fight in the culture and on the internets, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength, we shall defend all men who fight the good fight, whatever the cost may be. We shall never surrender.
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