Every time I see a story of a woman initiating divorce to a man because he doesn’t support her desire for their child to transition, I blog about it here. I’ve blogged about a case from Canada. I’ve blogged about a case from California. And now there is one from Texas (see below). Who is to blame? And what message does this send to men who are considering marriage?

Here’s the story from The Post Millennial:

Jeffrey Younger has lost his court case to prevent his ex-wife from taking their son to California, where he could be medically transitioned.

[…]He wanted the courts to stop his ex-wife from taking the children to California and to protect his boys from medical mutilation at the hands of their mother, who is a pediatrician. The courts prevented him from forcing the mother to bring the boys back from California. Younger has accused her of using the children to help advertise her “inclusive,” “gender affirming” practice.

[…]The custody case was before the Supreme Court of Texas, which ruled against Younger. Younger had issued a petition on December 16 to try to retain his parental rights after his ex-wife, Dr. Anne Georgulas, took the boys to California.

He lost his parental rights. Why? What crime did he commit? He didn’t commit any crime.

More:

California has a law in place, starting on Sunday, that children in that state will not be returned to their home state in the event that the home state would prevent the children from being medically transitioned to present as the opposite sex. Younger wanted the boys brought home.

And a little more about the ex-wife:

Younger was married to pediatrician [Anne] Georgulas. Georgulas and Younger ended up in court fighting over the children when she believed that James, Younger’s 7-year-old, wanted to live as a girl called Luna.

She petitioned the court to prevent Younger from “from signing Luna up as James for any activities or taking her as James or calling her James or using male pronouns related to Luna at any activities outside the home…”

She further asked the court to prevent Younger from “allowing the children to remain in the presence of anyone who is not calling Luna by her chosen name, ‘Luna,’ not using female pronouns to refer to her and otherwise not affirming Luna.”

Who is to blame? I think that since Younger made the choice, and he’s the one who is disappointed, he is to blame. She was dangerous before he married her. He should have left her alone. Men shouldn’t marry alligators. And they aren’t forced to marry them. It’s the man’s job to ask the woman questions about her beliefs and actions before proposing to her. And vice versa.

But look at this:

In a video posted to the dad’s website, James is asked, “You’re a boy right?” Heavy reported.

“No, I’m a girl.”

“Who told you you’re a girl?”

“Mommy.”

The child said Anne also put James in dresses. “She buys me headbands. She gets me hair clips…she paints my nails.”

[…]Witnesses who knew the boys and could attest that James did not identify as a girl when left to his own devices, were prevented from testifying in the case. One mother of the boys’ friends said, in testimony she wasn’t allowed to give in 2019, that:

“Over the past year, I have observed that James is blissfully happy as a boy. He loves to march around outside and yell, ‘we are the only boy scout troop’ or ‘I’m the Leader of the wolf pack!’ He is always the ring leader, even though he isn’t the oldest of the group. He loves dressing as a super hero and sword fighting. One day we all walked to a playground near my house and on the way home James slipped in some mud and got his clothes dirty. He asked if he could borrow some of my kids clothes and I could wash his.

“Of course I said, ‘no problem’ and grabbed him a pair of shorts from the chest of drawers and tossed them to him. I said, ‘hang on while I grab a shirt from the closet’. He immediately said, ‘Mrs. Sarah, I don’t need a shirt! It’s hot! And boys don’t have to wear shirts if they don’t want to! Isn’t that awesome!’ He was so cute. I said, ‘yes that is awesome!’ As he ran off to play. I did eventually get him to put on a shirt. It was gray with lizards on it and he loved it! He also likes having his hair cut a certain way but told my son Grayson that his mom wouldn’t let him get it too short even though he wanted it to be spikey.”

So why blog about this?

Well, most pro-marriage conservatives, male and female, especially beta-male pastors think that a man’s job is to affirm his wife at all times, even if she descends into feminism, secularism and socialism. Her friends are always leading her the right way, and husbands are just supposed to submit to her intuitions and desires. Most pro-marriage conservatives think that men have no leadership role with women. That would be patriarchy, and patriarchy is bad. Even if the woman is behaving badly, men have to submit to her leadership of the home. Even if the woman is hurting her own children. Men have to make the evil “work out”. That’s the “chivalrous” thing to do.

But there’s a problem with this. The problem is that young men are watching what is happening to this man (who chose poorly, and is responsible for it). And what they are learning from this case is that it is stupid for a man to get married. Men don’t have to get married in order to be successful. A single man can go to university, start a career, pay off his house and save a million dollars by age 46, then retire at age 50, and live off his dividends. Then he will have time for his own priorities: apologetics, theology, charitable giving, mentoring others. Becoming a slave to a secular leftist wife, in a system dominated by misandrists, is not necessarily the best way to make a difference for God. Men who want marriage have certain plans for their marriages, and certain things they are looking for in a wife. If they can’t get those things, then why push it, and get into a situation like this?

Neither Jesus nor Paul was married in the New Testament. 1 Corinthians 7 urges single Christians not to get married so they can  focus on Kingdom work. The case for marriage has to be overwhelmingly attractive for a man to pursue marriage. These news stories are discouraging men from marrying. No amount of shaming and blaming by pro-marriage conservatives is going to remove the risks of divorce, loss of custody, loss of parental rights, alimony, child support and forced transing of kids. Good men can do good in other ways. They don’t have to get married, especially not in a time where society is producing radical feminists as wife candidates, and stacking the schools, courts and hospitals with more misandrists. Why should men expose themselves to being ruled by secular leftists?