Marriage Rates

Viral Red State article answers: why don’t men want to marry any more?

Here’s the article from Red State, written by Brandon Morse.

The first point he makes is that feminism teaches women to have character traits that make them unattractive to marriage-minded men. Feminism teaches women that evaluating men for marriage according to traditional male roles is “sexist”. There are no traditional male roles that women should prefer. Moreover, feminism teaches women that there are no female roles either. So, these women don’t understand men, and they aren’t prepared to be wives and mothers.

Brandon writes:

Even in modern families, men are taught how to treat a woman, provide for her, and work hard to keep her happy. Women aren’t taught how to treat a man or how to make him happy; they’re strictly taught what to expect from a man.

I can’t speak for all men, but in my case, I have definite plans for my marriage, and so a woman’s preparation and desire to be supportive is very important to me.

I’m trying to achieve these goals:

  • influence the church with apologetics
  • influence the university campus (students and professors) with apologetics
  • be involved in politics, advocate for conservative policy
  • open the house to students and neighbors to teach apologetics and demonstrate a loving marriage
  • raise 3-4 financially independent and influential children

And when I ask women what they bring to the table to help me to achieve all that, they often say that they’ve done nothing. Even the Christians try to get out of having to do anything hard by saying that God has a mysterious will that’s higher than my plans – plans which are designed to achieve specifically Christian goals. But if you look at the woman’s life, this mysterious God’s will never requires her to do anything difficult that would serve God. In practice, “God’s will” is just another word for doing what is easy, fun and peer-approved.

Brandon writes:

The sad truth is that many young women nowadays don’t know how to be in a marriage… they’re not taught how to treat a man, but what to expect from him… they’re flat-out dissuaded from providing anything but their presence to the partnership. They believe that offering their love to the man is sufficient and that men should just be grateful to have them.

What can you tell about a woman who has not prepared for tasks, like defending her faith, promoting conservative policies, or raising effective children? If she has not studied or practiced to do these things, then she isn’t suddenly going to become disciplined and effective after a wedding ceremony.

Men like when they set out to do something, and get support from their wives to achieve it. Can women today support men?

Brandon writes:

Along the lines of never learning how to treat a man, women are never taught how to value a man’s emotions unless they pertain positively to her. He must prove every day how much he values her for just existing. She expects this but is taught by our society to not reciprocate unless he earns it.

Men feel this weight, and the thing that would give them strength is withheld. Men suffer attempting to emotionally support the partner who has no interest in uplifting him in return. It’s a lonely existence in a relationship for two, making it, in truth, a relationship for one…her. What makes matters worse is that women are confused by their men’s lack of emotions. They were never taught how we think, much less appreciate it.

It’s rare for me to get support from younger women. Older Christian women can do it, but they are from a different time.

Now, people say to me “just go ahead and get married, and you can change the woman’s mind afterwards to value the things you care about”. But do young women today offer a way for men to change their minds about anything?

Brandon writes:

Now, let’s say you’re a young man entering into the stage of your life where dating to marry becomes typical. Looking at your prospects for marriage you see career-oriented women, some of whom make more money than you do and are very proud of this fact…. their opinions on any given subject seem more trendy than well thought out. They seem shallow as a result.

You see these women in your dating pool consistently exhibit opinions about your sex that are less than kind on social media. They’re taught they’re your intellectual superiors, that they’re right in any given argument no matter what… Very rarely do they display any joy in being giving or of service to their men. Even more rare are displays of humility. It reeks of narcissism.

One of the questions that I ask women to see if they are teachable is “where do you get your political news”? This question is to see if they care about anything other than their own feelings and social standing. I also ask “have you ever read any non-fiction that caused you to change your mind”? This to see whether she changes her mind about anything by increasing her knowledge.

But what I get from the Christian fundamentalists AND the career-focused feminists is the same: “I don’t read news, and I don’t read non-fiction”. If she doesn’t form her beliefs by gaining knowledge, then what method does a man have for leading her? She will only do what she feels like or what is pleasing to her peer group. If she doesn’t respect knowledge in general, then she doesn’t respect a man’s knowledge.

Brandon concludes:

Men want to feel welcome in their own relationships. Right now, they aren’t. They feel like passengers, or maybe even more accurately, chauffeurs. If women want men to marry them, then women will have to become marriage material and that means leaving behind the mainstream pop-philosophy and looking into the idea that maybe the feminists were wrong.

The schools, churches and culture are not doing anything to teach women how to be valuable to men. So why would a man marry? If I have to commit my time and money to being someone else’s slave / handbag then that will cause me to achieve goals less, right? As a Christian man, I don’t see how being a slave / handbag to a woman serves God.

8 thoughts on “Viral Red State article answers: why don’t men want to marry any more?”

  1. The odds are so stacked against Christian men these days – much more than ever. For secular men, I’d avoid dating and marriage completely.

    From the article: “So they offer nothing and expect everything. They’re useless within the bounds of their own relationships with the only thing they bring to the table is what’s in between their legs, and even that’s something that can’t be taken on a whim, and even then, the value of that fades over time.”

    And to be blunt, what is between their legs is usually a petri dish. They think nothing of having dozens of sex partners. Can Jesus redeem them? Yep, if they authentically repent and believe. Are they good marriage material. No.

    And if those women act like too many “Christian” women I’ve heard of, they’ll break God’s laws for sex on both sides of the aisle: Having sex before marriage to lure the man, then withholding it afterwards to manipulate him. So “what’s between their legs” is of dubious value before and after marriage.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think I would live to have a goof listing of all the things that a goof woman can do for a man, so that men start to value women for those things, instead of just looks and bedroom fun.


  2. Feminism is rot. It destroys children in the womb, marriages, churches, and civilizations. And the soyboys in the pulpits are feminists too.

    The best advice I can give a young Christian woman is to keep your legs closed, dress modestly, and become an outspoken anti-feminist. You will have lots of enemies among Jezebels and Jezeboys, but you will also have REAL Christian men competing for your hand.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I applaud you for still believing in the unicorn in modern times. I simply lost interest in relationships altogether, yeah marriage is cool and all and God wants that, but when men see their friends get simply demolished by modern women and experience the same faith as their friends. You simply don’t want to deal with women all together, I don’t hate women at all, but I simply don’t care for their company nor want them around me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Unicorns are definitely real. You can be kind to them and enjoy the respect you get back without making yourself vulnerable to the state. They arent in a great rush to marry either, typically involved in ministry of some sort.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Finding unicorns is easy. You just have to ask them what they read. Almost all women read fiction, self-help, devotions. The good ones will know the titles of nonfiction books that have shaped the way they think. Men get tripped up by focusing too much in youth and beauty. They think “I should know all about a person from their appearance alone”. But that’s just repeating the mistakes of the women who are impressed with height and flashy wealth. Men need to do better than that.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Overall great advice, but I don’t see them being valuable in my life, it’s simply me choosing to leave women altogether and going MGTOW. But the old saying goes: Different strokes for different folks.


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