I found an interesting set of articles from a young woman who graduated from Pennsylvania State University. In one, she explains how a man she “hooked up” with treated her poorly. I think I’ve been able to figure out what her approach to relationships is. In this post, I’ll explain her approach, and then discuss how social conservatives should solve problems like abortion and single motherhood.
NOTE: Please do not contact or harass this woman, just leave her alone.
So, here’s the first, most important article:
As someone who considers themselves a feminist, and I always thought that being sexual and unashamed was liberating and empowering. And for that reason, I never stopped myself from doing what I wanted to do.
In the article, she explains what it feels like to be used for sex and then ghosted by a man. She says that he never got to know her, and that makes her feel bad. What did he know about her? She says that she appeared to him as “just some blonde blacked out drunk”. In the article, she describes lying awake next to him after sex, then getting up to walk home at 5:30 in the morning. And this is not the only toxic man in her life.
This applies to more than a few people from my past… I started to realize this lifestyle wasn’t working after I hooked up with a guy who thought New England was a state. And yeah, I still hooked up with him after finding out this knowledge about him… And I don’t know if that says more about him that he didn’t know or more about me since I was willing to overlook that fact just to feel desired for a night.
Because I do turn to other people for validation. When I think about it objectively, 90% of the reason I hook-up with anyone is to feel good about myself.
She calls the search for validation an “addiction”:
I am addicted to validation I got from getting with people. I needed that rush of dopamine. I needed to know I am wanted. I got addicted to hooking up. Cause it was the only thing that made me feel good about myself for a while. When I was feeling down, I turned to boys… that didn’t care about anything except what I look like. And I have been blessed/cursed with a pretty fast metabolism and a naturally larger than average chest. So I always have known I could default to my looks for validation. It’s the easiest thing to get recognition for. And I got addicted to being told I was hot, or pretty, or whatever.
In other articles, she explains what kinds of men she’s looking for.
She’s a strong Democrat.
There are two kinds of Republicans: the ignorant and the evil. Either they are uninformed and dumb or aware of the world and other cultures other than their own and just too corrupt or bigoted to care. It’s just that being a Republican seems to now stand for religious nuts, rich, rednecks, and racists. This current election cycle has only increased my deep seeded hatred for the right-wingers even more.
And I can’t help myself, but whenever I find out someone who I have been talking to or have been friends with is a Republican, I let out an audible “ugh, really?” I can not hide my disgust.
In another article, she explains that she’s an atheist:
If singing songs, praying or going to confession makes you feel better, by all means, do what you have to do to feel better. As long as you aren’t hurting anyone, do what you want to do. As an atheist, it doesn’t offend me. I just choose not to do it.
For example, at thanksgiving dinner this year my family wanted to say grace before eating, but they know where I stand when it comes to religion.
She came out of a Christian family.
In another post, she explains why she cheated on her boyfriend:
I wish I could say I don’t know why I did it, but that would be a blatant lie. I found myself in someone else’s bed because… I didn’t have feelings for you anymore. If you were enough for me, then you would have been. But you weren’t. I stopped craving your company. I felt guilty, sure, but not enough to stop me from doing it multiple times. I didn’t care about you or how you felt. And as my feelings started to fade, yours only seemed to get stronger. I know that stings, but it’s true.
So when I would go out in that extra-lowcut dress you loved when I wore it around you and a cute guy would ask me to dance or to go hangout on the porch, I wouldn’t mention you. I guess I got tired of turning people down when I didn’t feel like there was any “good” reason to. I missed my freedom. I missed the exciting feelings that come with flirting with someone new. The whole giddy honeymoon phase, getting butterflies whenever someone texts you, stalking them on Facebook and pretending you know nothing about them, finding yourself daydreaming about the next time you hang out in class. But I think I skipped a step before getting with someone new– breaking it off with you first.
She seems to be guided primarily by her feelings. If the feelings are gone, they’re gone. She doesn’t try to pick a good guy and invest in the relationship so that she builds something. I don’t think this is going to work for her to avoid bad men.
So, what kind of man is she looking for? She writes about how interested she is in “hot” guys in many of her articles. Guys with height, looks, tattoos, piercings, displayed wealth validate her more than guys who want to protect, provide, and lead her in moral and spiritual areas. I don’t think that the men she is choosing will treat her well – they just have too many options to focus on building something good with one woman.
She’s looking for a man who agrees with her on abortion and same-sex marriage. So, men like that don’t want to protect unborn children, and take responsibility for their choices. And a man who supports same-sex marriage is siding with selfish adults. Every same-sex relationship deprives a child of their bio-mom or bio-dad. That’s not a good man to build something with.
Regarding religion, she’s uncomfortable with men who have definite exclusive views. Religion, for her, is not about truth at all. You shouldn’t make any exclusive claims that make people feel bad. Instead, just have your private religion that makes you feel better. She’s looking for men who will not lead her in moral and spiritual areas. That’s not a good man to date, either.
How is it working out for her?
Her worldview – feminism, atheism, socialism – doesn’t have the resources necessary for her to approach relationships in a way that will work for her, in the long run. She is not a Christian, pro-marriage, or conservative. The men she chooses are not Christians, pro-marriage, or conservative. This isn’t going to lead to a relationship that is faithful, exclusive and permanent. If that’s what she wants, then she is choosing the wrong people to get there. And even if she doesn’t want commitment now, she will some day. It’s better for her to focus on finding a good man now and building him up. Men make better husbands and fathers the sooner women get in there and support them at those goals.
I always urge young women to get a STEM degree and work in the private sector until they marry and have their first child. To make them think logically, take responsibility for engineering results, and to feel validated by their achievements. I wanted to see what her college major was – because I suspected that she did not do STEM. While searching, I stumbled upon her dating profile (posted on 9Gag by her), two Instagram pages full of selfies, a Tumblr blog of sexy photos, and an Only Fans page. Her LinkedIn page showed no current or previous work experience. To me, these things are clear signs that she is head straight for evil men who will hurt her.
Saving women from toxic masculinity
I think what we have to do is focus on her disappointment with the results of her own choices, and challenge her to change her worldview and relationship choices. She needs to stop rewarding the hot bad boys with free sex. There are good men out there who want to protect, provide and lead on moral and spiritual issues. She needs to be taught to focus on those good men.
51 thoughts on “What can men do to save this 24-year-old woman from toxic masculinity?”
Yikes! Train wreck in progress!
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It’s going to work from age 15-35, but it from age 35-95. Somebody should tell her, but everyone wants to be appear tolerant, inclusive, accepting, affirming, compassionate, etc.
So they lie to her. And when things blow up in her face, they just blame men “toxic masculinity”. Not that they’ve ever done anything to produce better men.
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Personally, I’m not sure if it’s useful for young women to focus on STEM degrees and work in the private sector. Where I’m at, there are plenty of ‘Christian’ women who did that, they are now single in their 30s, in STEM+Law/Finance, with 6-figure salaries. When focusing on career, it’s very easy for 20s/time to fly by, especially in a demanding career. Single Christian men, who had no hope of dating these women in their 20s, have dropped out of church in droves. Leaving married couples and single women in church. Some ended up with non-Christian husbands, others remain single their entire lives. The country I am living in has one of the lowest birthrates in the world.
I think women can have an education and career, but if they want a family, their focus should be on finding the right partner in their 20s. A woman who isn’t spending more than she makes, does an honest job, has time for a family and partner, I think those are more important goals to aim for.
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I only want women to work until the first child arrives. My full reasoning for preferring the STEM degrees and work experience are here. It’s not for the money at all.
That is a lovely thought and all, but in reality it poses quite a problem. If a woman does as you suggest she is doing the equivalent of shooting herself in the leg a few times.
1) She uses up her youth. This is highly problematic because if she wants to have healthy children she should do so before 30, really she should do so in her early twenties.
2) By doing as you suggest she will spend anywhere from 4 to 8 years in college. It is not an exaggeration to proclaim upwards of 75% of all teachers and workers in college are leftist in some regard. So you are condemning her to spend 4 to 8 years being bombarded with leftist, pro-murder, anti-christ, anti-feminine, and anti-family propaganda. How has that worked out for western countries since the 60s? And yet you want more of that insanity.
3) In order to get a STEM degree or a worthwhile degree, she will most likely be forced to take on debt, and if she goes for a higher degree that gets increased. You have now condemned her and her future family to spending years if not decades paying off that debt, because it won’t just be her debt. If she marries a man with a good degree, odds are he is also in debt because of it. Most folk tend to put off things like kids and their own homes when they have that hanging over their heads.
Your wanting a woman to work only until the first child is born is so far out of line with reality it is not even funny. If you really wanted to help women, you should focus on getting them to let go of the idea that only the top 10% is good enough for them. You should focus on breaking the party girl mentality, and breaking the it’s ok to sleep around because men do the same mentality.
Men are supposed to be the head of the household, men are suppose to be the ones who take care of the finances. Your attempting to fix the problems woman have by using a solution that would fix issues on the men’s part. Woman are not men, their issues are not and cannot be fixed the same way. By imposing or rather highly suggesting the solutions you have, you are only going to cause more problems, more misery, and less families and more out of wedlock children.
If you want to help women, focus on teaching them what to look for in men. Teach them how to take care of the family. Teach them the joy of having kids. Teach them to find a good man early and marry him. Or if you want to make it really simple, look at everything society is trying to teach woman and do the absolute opposite.
Because what you are doing is not helping, its causing more issues.
I think it depends what you want to achieve in life. If you aim low, and just want your slippers brought to you, and available sex, and home cooked meal, then your plan will work… Until the culture turns her into a raging secular left feminist because she never developed her own worldview.
I graduated debt free, and most of the old women I’m friends with did too, either by academic scholarships or athletic scholarship.
Women graduate college at 21. They should work a few years and be married by 25 at the latest. Then they can have several children and she can stay home and home school them.
I explained in my post what my goals are for my marriage and why the STEM degree / work solves that. You don’t have those goals. Your plan wouldn’t work for me to have the influence I want to have.
Basically your comment boils down to “no women can do what you’re asking”. Except I know several who have done it, and many more who agree with the plan (in hindsight). One (Lindsay Harold) was in a phd stem program debt-free before she dropped out to marry and homeschool 4 kids.
Women have certain needs that your plan won’t meet. They need to achieve goals. They need a man’s support in achieving goals. They need a sense of meaning and purpose. They need to be challenged to fight evil. Your plan achieves none of these things. Which is fine.
I honestly don’t think a woman could desire or enjoy sex with a man who wasn’t leading her, building her up, supporting her, and expressing delight in her contributions. Contributions like I outlined in the STEM post above.
Women love when men believe in them and invest in them and they feel needed and equal. That starts with me supporting her in education, career and finances. Read the post I linked to and see if you can produce the same results with your “plan”.
It’s not “no women can do what you are asking”, it’s more like “the Christian women who can do that are too few” relative to the demand from Christian men. So the top 10% of Christian women ace it and marry their ideal man. But the 90% cannot meet this standard… because it takes too long, insufficient IQ etc.
A plan should be workable for the average Christian girl. IMO sending the average Christian girl to STEM might not work out as well as you outlined. I mean, just look at the average 20s-30s population in the congregation.
I least that were my thoughts when I was searching for a partner. I had two options (1) Younger women with Associate’s Degrees, (2) late-20s – 30s women with Degrees including in STEM. I choose to have a younger wife to spend her youth with me, Proverbs 5:18-19 on rejoicing “in the wife of your youth” had a significant impact on my decision.
Okay the men who can do what I can do are few.
What I’m arguing for is for parents, pastors, teachers and other mentors to produce these women.
It’s not my problem if all the produce at the grocery store is overripe. I don’t have to buy it. When they make good produce, I’ll buy it. But insulting and blaming me for not buying what I don’t want won’t work on me. I worked hard to be where I am and I have an excellent life plan that is an alternative to the marriage plan.
I’m letting people know what marriage minded men are looking for, and then they can either produce that or blame me, or whatever. I’m doing great here either way. It’s the women like the one in the post who are freaking out.
I went back and read your article, and while I think your inclinations are noble, and I thought so before too, I still find your plan to be shortsighted and doomed to failure. Not as bad a failure as it could be, but I can’t see it succeeding outside of a few outliers. So my rebuttals.
1) STEM does not increase qualification for homeschooling any more that a lib-arts degree. There is no direct correlation between understanding of math and science and being able to teach it. I personally have met several intelligent people who were quite good in their fields who couldn’t explain or teach their subject to save their life.
2) Your second point fails in that you will find with the exception of outliers on both sides, the vast majority of women deal in emotion and the vast major of men deal in logic. You can influence both towards the opposite, but that is the furthest you will get. Again with the exception of a few outliers.
3) Your third point is a mix. Yes using reason and logic to do defend the faith is sound, and using logic, reason, evidence, etc. is worth doing in order to defend the faith. Your argument however that STEM equips her to do so however falls prey to the same issue the first point does. A STEM degree no more make people inclined to use reason, evidence, etc. than anything else does. If you want someone to use them, you teach them to reason with logic when they are young. STEM is quite literally a path to get a career, that’s it. Nothing else. Your subscribing mystical powers to it like those who subscribe to the magic dirt theory.
4) It is correct that STEM is a path to high paying jobs, but you have ignored the foundation of it. Most people, men and women won’t be able to get there debt free, and certainly not in 4 years. Heck, part of your argument supports one of my earlier points. “Women who are debt-free are better to marry, because they don’t delay the process of buying a house and having children. Any kind of debt has to be paid off first.” The opposite is also true, women who have debts delay the process of buying a house and having children. Most people can’t get out of college debt free, and STEM degrees while well paying rack up debt, and use up valuable time. My last counter on your 4th point is that a woman does not have to be STEM to not follow the path of FOMO and YOLO, life is not an either or path.
5) This is a train wreck. Do woman have no agency in their own lives? Do they not choose which men to date? Are they not given massive choices in who to date? Does she have no choice in how to live her life or in what to study and read? Why would she feel pressured to marry? Society is pushing women away from marriage, and she is the one who choose the guy in the first place. If she is feeling pressure it is all on her and in her head. I have no sympathy for her what so ever. As for the apologetic lectures and books, any woman like any man is given free will, she can choose what to read or not. STEM doesn’t effect it in the slightest. Frankly as I stated, your whole 5th argument is a train wreck.
6) This one is also a stretch. This was probably true 20 years ago. Today it is less and less likely. Heck you even counter yourself not 3 points further down. “3. Even in STEM departments, a woman will be exposed to an environment with secular left indoctrination, drunkenness and promiscuity. She is unlikely to come out of college as a virgin.”
Do I have a plan no, not really. My best idea is to try to find a decent woman, have kids and raise the kids right. My point on this isn’t that your wrong to try to fix things. My point is that your plan is cause even more harm. You are quite literally treating men and women as if they are the same, just with different body parts. So let me make it as simple as I can. Men are men, women are women. If you give a woman the parts of a man and a man the parts of a woman and used chemicals to remove or increase the strength levels. You simply have a damaged man and a damaged woman. They are not the same. Our minds work differently, what we focus on has different priorities, what we want is different, how we think is different. You are using something that a man could use to either fix his life or improve the life of his family to try to fix an issue women have. It will not work, it can not work, it does not work. Outliers are called outliers for a reason.
It may seem sexist or whatever you want to call it, but women have a short period of time in which to find a husband and have healthy children. Biologically that is roughly 16 to 32, if that doesn’t happen by that time, the kids have higher and higher risks of problems. Your solution in your own words state that a woman should be looking for marriage roughly at 25, that gives her 7 years more or less. All this is assuming of course the college does not last longer, that she does not decided to get another degree, and that she decides to find a guy to marry instead of date around. Which in case you missed it brings us back to society (which in your own words includes the colleges,) are teaching them to sleep around, chase after the bad boys, and in general do everything they can to put off marriage and children. Which again in case I wasn’t perfectly clear before is where the issue is coming from in the first place.
One last piece which ties in with something I wrote 2 paragraphs up. “Women love when men believe in them and invest in them and they feel needed and equal. That starts with me supporting them in education, career and finances. ” This to me is the proof you have things messed up in your head. Men love women who believe in them, who invest in them, especially in their 20s right after college when attempting to get their career moving. If men are supposed to be the head of the household and support it, then they need their wives to support them like listed above. If however you want women to be the head of the household and support it, then you need their husbands to support them as you wrote. However what you are suggesting is for men to lead and for them to support their wives as if they were their wives where the ones who were leading the household and supporting it financially. Your path is broken and you cannot see it.
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I would just urge people reading your comment to read the STEM article I linked above to understand what I’m offering to a woman, so they understand what they would get with me, as opposed to what they would get with you.
And just to be clear, there is a lot in your comment that is just factually mistaken, and that might just be a difference in our relative levels of education and work experience. I often find that when people cannot refute me, they just say things that I didn’t say and refute that instead. It’s common among people with little education and career success. Schoolyard “my Dad can whip your Dad” stuff.
“I still find your plan to be shortsighted and doomed to failure.”
You have no evidence of a failure. I know people who have executed this same plan successfully, such as my friend Andrew and his wife Jen who has a BS, MS, two homeschooled boys, a parenting blog, an apologetics podcast, and organizes apologetics conferences. One example of the plan. I mentor people who have succeeded with this plan.
"1) STEM does not increase qualification for homeschooling any more that a lib-arts degree."
You probably don't understand the difference between opinions and facts. STEM forces a person to think logically, solve problems and produce testable, repeatable results that can be sold in the free market. Women who are inclined to make their way through life by looks and adapting to the people around them get ship-wrecked in STEM. That's because they cannot advance by merely adapting to the crowd. They have to produce results that have value in the real world.
"2) Your second point fails in that you will find with the exception of outliers on both sides, the vast majority of women deal in emotion and the vast major of men deal in logic. "
I don't have to marry the vast majority of women. I will choose one who majors in logic, evidence and problem solving. The others can marry other people with no plan, like you.
"3) Your third point is a mix. Yes using reason and logic to do defend the faith is sound, and using logic, reason, evidence, etc. is worth doing in order to defend the faith."
The problem here is that you have no ability to defend the faith. If you did, then you would know how valuable a knowledge of science is in the current apologetics meta. You don't know, so you don't expect a woman to know, because you have no plan for her to achieve anything in the neighborhood, in the university, in the home, in the church. You have no plan at all, you said.
"4) It is correct that STEM is a path to high paying jobs, but you have ignored the foundation of it. Most people, men and women won’t be able to get there debt free, and certainly not in 4 years. "
I don't have to marry most women, I don't have to marry at all unless I want to. I have a no-marriage plan that works for my Boss. I did get my BS and MS debt-free, and I know many women who got their BS debt-free, like Lindsay, who had a BS, MS and partial Phd, all debt-free, who married and stayed home with her 4 kids. If I can't find one I won't marry. The women who don't can marry someone like you, with no plan.
"5) As for the apologetic lectures and books, any woman like any man is given free will, she can choose what to read or not. STEM doesn’t effect it in the slightest."
Like I said, you know literally nothing about apologetics. 6 of the best arguments are bolstered by scientific ability. Origin of the universe, fine-tuning, habitabilty, origin of life, irreducible complexity. You don't know what these are, which is why you don't value scientific ability in a woman.
"6) Even in STEM departments, a woman will be exposed to an environment with secular left indoctrination, drunkenness and promiscuity."
I don't have to marry a woman who is a secular leftist, who is drunk and promiscuous. Do you have a STEM degree? We spent ALL our time in the labs, pulling all nighters, working in teams to solve the assignments. We sat in the math teaching room, trying desperately to get the TAs to help us recover from our public school "educations" in math. We had no time for partying, and there was ZERO indoctrination in computer science classrooms. I know, I was there. Were you?
"Do I have a plan no, not really."
You don't say. Have you ever heard the saying "if you aim at nothing, you will surely hit it"?
When I'm writing about these things, I'm writing out of the experience of being the son of poor immigrants from a third world country. I went through public schools. I got a BS and MS in computer science. I have a patent, publications, conference presentations, professional certifications. I have a 7 figure investment portfolio, and a 330K house, bought for cash. I am a legal immigrant (not white). I have a ton of experience understanding how the world works with no guidance. And then there are my achievements as a Christian apologist and financial supporter of Christian apologetics. It's based on these achievements that I have this plan. Naturally, the plan seems ambitious to people who lack those achievements. But I assure you, when I set out to achieve something, I achieve it. I have mentored MANY young women from all sorts of backgrounds using the plan, and they understand it well, and love their achievements. Consider that you may not understand this, because you lack the achievements I have. You may be a spectator in these areas, whereas I put points on the scoreboard.
Erm, just want to interject between WK and William’s conversation here. I think you are both speaking about slightly different things, let me explain.
1) WK is talking about what he offers to one specific woman, to be his partner. I mean, anyone can make any requirement/offer when looking for their partner.
WK is certainly entitled to declare any condition he likes for his own partner. He is basically offering his $$/success/Christian views in exchange for the ideal WK STEM program woman.
E.g. I would personally prefer my wife to be a Christian Supergirl. Early-20s, STEM/MBA/PhD, chaste, able to handle a dozen children, very physically attractive, leader in children’s church, teacher, runs a small business, multi-millionaire by 20, able to do all the housework, cooks like a 5-star hotel chef, accepts me as the family leader, Olympic champion etc.
Realistically, I married my wife who has slightly more than half of these qualities, and I think I did pretty well.
2) William is talking about Christian women in general, NOT WK’s ideal partner. I think we would all agree that the average Christian woman, might not be able to graduate from college debt free and in the timeline WK suggests.
Hence, encouraging the average Christian women to adopt WK’s game plan might actually be counter-productive. Tbh, I think it requires commitment, intelligence, strong faith in Christ, family support etc. to do what WK has outlined. The fact is that average Christian woman will fail to succeed with WK’s game plan. Potentially putting her in a worse position than if she followed something more realistic.
Personally, I don’t think it is women’s main role to argue about apologetics. Maybe I’m conservative, but I note 1 Corinthians 14:34–35, “the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.”
3) WK, I think you have to accept that you are quite a rare individual. Case in point, throughout the entire internet and a global population of billions, there are relatively few people like you who run similar Christian blogs and have similar financial/educational accomplishments.
It’s okay to have high standards. But based on my assumption that you would like to get married, if you met a woman who meets your criteria… From my economics training in supply and demand curves, there is basically no supply of this ideal woman, at the price you have set.
Simply put, this woman you are seeking either does not exist or is not willing to marry you as the price you offer for marriage is too low. Yes I know you have an alternative plan, and that’s fine of course. But the fact is, your ideal woman as described usually ends up marrying someone even more capable (than us). I know one STEM woman with only half of the qualities you outlined. She declined to date me, she’s now married to an Econs Professor in the top university in my country, both Christian.
4) There is no 100% evidence of failure for WK’s STEM plan. But there are strong correlations. Let me explain: In many developed countries, increased education for women is correlated with the rise of liberalism, feminism, increased divorce, higher taxes, lower marriages, increased age of first marriage, lower birth rates etc.
Just compare any middle east or asian country with any more developed western country. As countries become more developed (past a certain point), and women get more educated, we observe this phenomenon.
Another fact is we know that Hypergamy exists. A capable woman will look for more capable men. There comes a point in female accomplishment where there are basically insufficient ‘good men’ they are willing to match with. E.g. in USA there are now more college educated young women than men. Encouraging more Christian women in STEM may in fact result in less marriages (again society wide, not referring to WK’s personal case), due to the lack of ‘better’ men and men’s general preference for younger brides (early-mid 20s).
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“Realistically, I married my wife who has slightly more than half of these qualities, and I think I did pretty well.”
You did extremely well.
“Hence, encouraging the average Christian women to adopt WK’s game plan might actually be counter-productive. Tbh, I think it requires commitment, intelligence, strong faith in Christ, family support etc. to do what WK has outlined. The fact is that average Christian woman will fail to succeed with WK’s game plan. Potentially putting her in a worse position than if she followed something more realistic.”
I don’t think that I am asking for too much, it’s just that expectations on women are so low. We think it’s “chivalrous” to treat them as inferior. They’re not inferior to men. They’re equal. And in some ways, better. But we have to ask them to do hard things in order to see it. I mentor women. They organize more speaking events, debates and conferences than I ever have. I just get the bill, but they do the work. You have to ask them to do it, and then support them.
“Personally, I don’t think it is women’s main role to argue about apologetics.”
The word “argue” is a red herring. Apologists do not argue (Acts 17). Read 1 Peter 3:15. And then look at the work of women like Nancy Pearcey, Jennifer Roback Morse, Katy Faust and Ann Gauger. The entire Women in Apologetics organization is rock solid. They can do it! You just have to ask them to do it, and then give them support and encouragement. They are not children.
“But based on my assumption that you would like to get married”
1 Cor 7 and 2 Tim 2:4 say that my bias should be to avoid marriage. UNLESS the marriage will produce more as a team effort than two individuals. I’m doing the alternative plan, it’s actually supposed to be the better plan according to 1 Cor 7.
“Let me explain: In many developed countries, increased education for women is correlated with the rise of liberalism, feminism, increased divorce, higher taxes, lower marriages, increased age of first marriage, lower birth rates etc.”
I only have to marry a woman who can do it, not the ones who fail out. They can marry William and have no plan.
“Another fact is we know that Hypergamy exists. ”
I’m telling you right now, there are exceptions to this rule. Some women are sexually attracted to men who mentor them. Give them goals, support them, encourage them, celebrate their wins. They want that more than they want to signal anything to the tribe. I know what I am talking about, these women exist. They want the relationship with a good man who loves them first and foremost.
hmm… I’ve read your linked post previously.
Assuming a STEM education, the average graduate will be 23 by the time she graduates, likely with $26K-$32K college debt in the States. Add in 3 years to pay that debt off and she will be 26.
Just wanted to point out that, unless a woman is very well organized and can get dating, education, career, family done simultaneously, she will have either: (1) Debt if she marries by mid-20s or (2) Reach late-20s single. This also assumes she has the IQ needed to successfully finish a STEM course in a timely manner. Add in the fact that she has to be a practicing Christian, and I would say that you are looking at a small minority of young women in their 20s.
In my STEM courses, especially at the Masters/PhD level. I don’t think I met any early 20s woman, who was Christian, single/chaste, and willing to marry me, willing to stop working after the first child. Of course you can set whatever standards you want. Just saying that if the criteria is too strict, the odds are stacked heavily against you.
An alternative idea would be to finish a cheaper Associate’s degree, work for awhile while dating (and maybe studying university part time if she can handle it), and getting married by mid-20s. This way, she can at least have children before late-20s without student debt. Where I am, you can get an AD by 19-20.
I would be looking for women who can get through college debt free. I did it. I know others who did it. Choose a smaller school, transfer from community college. I got out 9K USD in the black by working summers as a software engineer.
I am fine with the odds being against me.
Your alternative is acceptable to me as a minimum. I would even accept no stem degree for a person who is a self taught programmer, for example. As long as they gave competitive pressure and have to serve customers and collaborate on a team and plan projects. Grown up stuff.
Hmm… sorry if I’m mistaken but my impression was that people graduated from college at 23 on average (vs. 21 in your earlier post). I only graduated at 24 myself as I spent two years in the army after high school.
It’s not going to be a top USA school then, maybe state school?
I managed to get a corporate sponsorship for most of my 9 years of undergrad, 2 masters, PhD in three different STEM subjects, including 6 years in a US top 10 ranked private school. Company kept me as an employee to study. Graduated in my early-30s, with ~300+K USD in the black (post tax), worked summers with my sponsor. Without the sponsorship, I would have been 7-digits in the red (private school out of state tuition, rent, living costs, interest).
During this decade, I did not manage to date any Christian girl in her 20s from the same school or from my church. Most women were already married in the churches I joined, or older/much younger. The rare few (who were passably attractive) in school were snapped up before the first semester.
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I really love what you’ve done with your education and career. Remember I’m a skilled immigrant too. I had to do similar (not as much as you!) Stuff on order to get in by merit.
I understand these women will be rare. But you need to accept that I’m not getting involved in marriage as casually as I would have in 1950. The world has changed feminists, socialists and atheists rule now. Marriage is more risky than 70 years ago for men. Look at what the FBI is doing with parents who have concerns about the schools. It’s a different world. Even if I find a good girl, the rules are made by the secular left. These are the conditions and no one cares to fix women or the conditions. They just say “man up and marry the girl in your post when she’s 35”. And they tell the men who are using her for sex from 15-35 to stop being “toxic”. As if the men she is choosing – atheist socialist feminists – have any reason to stop using her.
Yeah the world has changed and marriage is much more risky nowadays. It’s definitely your choice to set your own standards and decide who to marry or even if you want to get married. I had childhood friends who accused me of being immoral and stopped speaking with me, after I told them I did not support Democrat policies.
To find my wife, I moved back to my home country, where things are much more conservative. I won’t even date a girl in her late-20s, so there will not be a girl in my post to marry when she is 35. My wife will be 35 one day, but by then we will already have been married for a decade.
I have made a ‘final escape plan’, that I hope to never use. I currently keep 70-80% of my assets in easily liquidated stocks and financial instruments. Over the years, I slowly convert more equity to fixed assets for my family. If a disaster happens, I can always liquidate everything liquid and live a quiet life elsewhere.
I really, really love how you run your ship. I think you’ve done a good job.
I read this and I’m not sure where to stand. I just came out of a 3 year relationship with a girl I was certain I was going to marry. We began dating when she started nursing school and she was about to be done with her first year of nursing when I was planning on asking her to marry me. The full reasoning for a stem degree may not be about money but to some it is. She was going to persue agency/travel nursing (they’re making big bucks right now) and it caused a strife in the relationship because she was going to be away in different states chasing the highest paying contracts. My job is stationary. In the end we went separate ways figuratively and literally. Now I’m wary about nurses and STEM degree women.
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I am so sorry to hear this. I don’t know what to say. The only thing I can suggest is to look at what she is reading. If she is reading books about marriage, parenting, homeschooling, apologetics, etc. and getting involved in promoting apologetics at church or the university, and busy mentoring young people, then those are good signs. Watch what she does with her time and money, don’t listen to her words. Her actions show what her real priorities are.
I know a girl who has an apologetics ministry and she takes time out of her schedule to homeschool the kids of people in her neighborhood. She has apologetics conversations while walking her dog. She was the Ratio Christi supervisor at her local university. She has a blog. She does podcasts. She does interviews. She teaches a course in apologetics. And she has 3 earned degrees, the first from an Ivy league school. She graduated debt-free on an athletic scholarship.
The woman appears to be a train wreck and lacks self-esteem:
Another article from the same author: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/boyfriend-cheated
Short version: bf was out doing something, didn’t IMMEDIATELY return her calls or pick up so she assumed he was cheating on her and she cheated on him. She missed the butterflies in the stomach feelings of meeting someone new. She missed her freedom of being able to hook up with anyone with a pulse and especially if the guy treated her like dog crap. She’s an attention-seeking … (five letter word that rhymes with ‘bore’).
Unfortunately, this is par for the course for a lot of third-wave and fourth-wave/Sexual Revolution and post-Sexual Revolution feminists.
One of the underlying motives is “I gotta act like what I want including shacking up with/sharing STIs and STDs with as many as possible.”
Like REALLY?!?!?! And the women want to blame trying to turn their bodies into STI/STD sewers and “having to” (rhymes again with ‘bore’) “themselves to get attention/using men for validation” on the Patriarchy and “Toxic Masculinity”?
Sadly I have met some women like this lady — including women who came out of highly religious families. One had just graduated from a Fundamentalist Christian school deep in the Bible belt, had done some overseas Christian mission, and came to my area to work (having broken off an engagement). She wondered why her atheist boyfriend (with whom she was shacking up) was not in the least bit interested in anything remotely “spiritual.” (Duh…)
Cognitive dissonance is real. Instead of pointing to her mistakes in judgment, she started rationalizing. “I don’t regret the intimacy I’ve shared…” she started. My seminary friend and I mostly smacked our foreheads in private.
Was she attractive? Sure, externally. Slender blonde. Fairly tall, athletic.
Did we have any interest in pursuing? No way, no thanks.
Unfortunately, women like the two above, I think would better be served with godly Christian women mentoring them — I can’t serve in this capacity.
I’d like to start earlier in prevention. For instance, I’ll work on my 9-year old daughter. I think it’s time for some daddy-daughter dates.
We’ve talked a bit about dating. Supposedly some boy did ask her out.
I’ve laid down the rules that:
– until she’s 18 and still under my roof, my rules apply.
– the boy if interested in her, should come pay me a visit and we will have a chat.
– if they want to hang out, I will happily oversee their activities, including taking her to a tea shop or ice cream shop or something and will properly chaperone her.
– if she’s a bit older, she may request that I sit at the next table over or a little bit further away.
No, we haven’t talked too much about sex, lust, rape, etc. although we’ll get there. Plus self-control. I expect that my kids will practice self-control, a fruit of the Holy Spirit.
My two boys (6 and 10) think kissing is gross and have no interest in dating.
I still expect that they too will be gentlemen and honorable and will exercise or learn to exercise self-control.
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Oh neat I didn’t see that article! I would love to see what kind of man she picks as a boyfriend.
That man is to blame for choosing her, when she has shown that she isn’t willing to build her own self esteem through achievements, but just seeks male attention from the worst men on the planet.
I honestly don’t think that Christian parents and pastors have put any thought into leading women. Young women are extremely driven by their same age peers, so it’s a tough job. And yet I don’t see women being bounded with apologetics, economics, social science, or anything that could put the brakes on their hedonism.
Regarding the blonde, women have to understand that a man giving them attention for sex and a man wanting to commit to them for life are two very different things. Many men can do the former, but very few men do the latter. And when you go searching for the latter, you better have prepared to support them in their goals.
I think your rules are very reasonable. I dated a girl once whose younger brother would just hang out near us to make sure we stayed in the restaurant. We were even allowed to go for walks in public because people could see us.
What is so shocking to me is that this is the time when the woman in the post would be most attractive to men physically. She has the right appearance to get their attention. But she hasn’t prepared the right worldview that’s going to be helpful to a good man who wants her to be a wife and mother!
She may think there is no long term cost to her actions, but as the boyfriend post shows, she’s made herself into a very unstable person. Good men won’t commit to her when she’s like this, and her atheism / socialism / feminism won’t turn her back from the direction she’s gone in.
If it weren’t so predictable and sad, I’d have to laugh. She claims her favorite book is Brave New World, but for all of her pretense about being “highly-educated” she can’t recognize that she’s living the exact life Huxley’s masterpiece so vividly cautions against. Instagram is her soma.
Her photos remind me of the famous Chappelle skit where he describes dressing like a cop and what happens when someone expects him to stop a crime, “I may be dressed like a cop, but that doesn’t mean I *am* a cop…”
I can practically hear this woman mouthing the words, “I show off my cleavage in every picture I post on-line and I talk about my ample breasts every chance I get, but how DARE you look at them! Can’t you see how intellectual I am…”
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Yes one of female advisors looked over the post and said the same thing. Is she aware that she is like the shallow women in the story?
“Everyone belongs to everyone else”
Yeah, don’t do that. The book says not to do that.
I noticed a huge number of grammatical mistakes in her writing. But she insists that she is smart, and the bad boys she chooses based on their hotness and tallness should all get to know her… Which is exactly what she refuses to do before having sex with them.
If Brave New World is her favorite book, how does she miss that the shallow, meaningless society leads to the main character hanging himself?
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I don’t think that she read it in order to be bounded by it. She read it for entertainment, but she isn’t letting it affect her life plan in any way. Note that her favorite books are fiction books. That’s a red flag.
Hmmm…I don’t sit down and read a book “in order to be bounded by it,” but I take the moral lens my parents (relying on the Bible) taught me – and my understanding of history, morality, law, philosophy (and the Biblical foundations of all those subjects) and apply it to everything I do, say, and read…..
There’s nothing wrong with liking fiction or even with deciding a fiction book one your favorites. It’s not that you like a fiction book that’s the problem….it’s “why” you like that book. There is a whole genre of dystopian fiction that I re-read regularly, not because I like the worlds described therein, but because the moral message of the story is so full of wisdom: Fahrenheit 451, Brave New World, The Trial, 1984, The Stranger… Movies are the same way: Watch “The Lives of Others” and tell me the moral message doesn’t weigh heavily on your mind.
This poor girl read Brave New World, but wasn’t capable of understanding it. Which, quite frankly, is disqualifying. If can read Brave New World without being physically repulsed at the lives of people in the World State, you have a moral defect.
In all seriousness, one of the things these discussions help with is making men think about standards they set for the women in their lives. That’s a worthwhile subject. One thing I might add to that discussion is a qualification that the woman you choose must be open to being taught. Before I married my wife, she was what I would call an “emotion-based Christian” and a squishy Dem. Over the course of dating, I was able to reason with her about the factual basis of Christ’s resurrection and the scientific basis for the Bible – NOT that Christianity made you feel good.
We were also able to have logical, reason-based discussions on a number of other subjects. Once I could see that she truly understood a subject and developed a fact-and-reason-based opinion, I knew I could THEN start evaluating whether she’d be a good wife. Today, we have minor differences about this subject or that – which is to be expected – and perfectly fine, because I know she’s not basing her opinion on “the feelz.” FWIW, we passed a 20 yr anniversary a while ago…
If she hadn’t been able to do that, no STEM degree, no debt-free life, no amount of regular church attendance would have been enough. In fact, I’ve met so many “Christian” women who couldn’t distinguish reason from feelings, that if I were offering young men advice today, I’m almost at the point where I’d say a long woman being a Christian is as much a problem as it is a benefit.
Fiction is a poor second to non-fiction, but I know how to be convincing with good movies and good works of fiction (classics).
The Lives of Others is one of my favorite movies. It’s in the “About WK” page on this blog. I was just referencing the movie yesterday with lady I read books with. I was talking about the last scene. “Do you want me to wrap it up as a gift?” “No, it’s for me”. We’re reading the manuscript of Nancy Pearcey’s new book on toxic masculinity, and I was explaining how much I loved the book. You guys are going to love this book when it comes out next year. She knocked it out of the park.
Check out my about page for some movies and books I use when persuading.
“One thing I might add to that discussion is a qualification that the woman you choose must be open to being taught.”
This is critical, but in order to lead these discussions, the man has to know what he wants her to do, and whether she can be convinced to grow and take responsibility. That’s why I ask for the STEM degree and private sector work experience. I had a situation today talking to a friend who homeschools kids. She is trying to get the kids to take math and computer science seriously, and the kids refuse to learn, and demand to go somewhere fun instead. The mother of the kids happened to be present and told them “sure, don’t worry about failing math, we’ll go somewhere fun”. My friend told me, how am I supposed to convince them that this is important if the mom isn’t on board?
That’s why I ask that my wife have a STEM degree and private sector work experience. Because they will believe it is important and know what is needed to get a real job if they have been there and done that. The mom had never gone to college or worked in an engineering environment. So, she wasn’t pushing this, because she had no experience that would show her how things work, where math and computer science fit in, and what you get out it. And remember, her husband married her for her looks, and now he is locked into this 30 year plan with her – legally obligated – and no way out. He made a HUGE mistake. He’ll be working for decades to churn out kids who will have zero influence.
“We were also able to have logical, reason-based discussions on a number of other subjects. Once I could see that she truly understood a subject and developed a fact-and-reason-based opinion, I knew I could THEN start evaluating whether she’d be a good wife.”
That’s necessary for every man to do – don’t believe the words, go through things with her and make sure her actions follow the words.
” I’m almost at the point where I’d say a long woman being a Christian is as much a problem as it is a benefit.”
Tell me what is going on in the churches or the bestselling self-help books that causes women to be ready for wife and mother roles? I’m talking about ready for a marriage that achieves results: raising influential kids, influencing the university, influencing the church, influencing politics, etc. I don’t see anything happening in our churches or books that will produce marriageable women. The ones who are good have to make themselves good.
I don’t know. It’s really weird because her articles could have been written by someone from the Brave New World. Her desire for new things and new experiences as well as her attitude towards her sexual partners is right out of Brave New World.
It just seems like what is “normal” for her would be considered very opposed to stable marriage by people like me.
I wonder if she has read any scientific papers on the effects of this, or is it just “my college years are for having fun”. Because I have, and she would not like what they say.
I found it, and it’s exactly right:
She wants attention and validation from hot guys right now. She thinks she can reinvent herself later, and find a man to settle for.
But men are learning not to settle for women who aren’t attracted to them, and won’t respect them. No bailouts. No rescues. The laws and culture have made a marriage commitment to women like that too risky.
Chappelle may be bawdy and crude, but there is so much power in his observation and description. He finds a way to make a very powerful point in a way that young people understand and can’t deny. No one – not even the most hardened carousel-riding feminist – can deny the truth of what he’s saying.
I think he’s really funny. I like the Prince basketball game. “After it was all over, he took in the house and served us pancakes”.
For “Her Awesomeness”, her remorse at the age of 21 is a navel-gazing godsend, instead of a decade later. But I betcha it does not stick because its based on feelz and conversation, typical for most youngsters. Not morality or values or commitment. Now “Motobotin” is committed to putting out only after a man gets to know her for a couple dates.
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Her value proposition is declining because she is relying on looks alone, and looks decline. Adding promiscuity makes her less attractive, studies show (and men know) that promiscuous women are more unstable.
She isn’t going to be able to change the kind of man she is attracted to until she changes her worldview. That’s the point of my post. Everything she believes is oriented away from valuing a good man. And from offering good men the value they want in a woman.
She is all in on choosing bad men, and attracting them with her appearance alone.
In the parable of the prodigal son, he had to come to the point where he envied the swine for their food.
She considers conservative men and Christians swine. She’s going to have to “come to herself” and repent before she can have any of her deepest desires fulfilled.
Pray for her soul.
I hope I didn’t say anything in this post that made her seem like a bad person. I think she’s been poorly led, and I feel sorry for her. I have fixed women from worse situations, who are now married with kids. And very, very good at apologetics.
No. I didn’t assume she was a bad person, I merely assumed that she was dead in trespasses and sin from birth…like we all were!
Whenever I read the comments left by men challenging WK on what to look for in a woman, I never cease to be amazed (and discouraged) at how many conservative men have accepted stupidity as a necessary attribute in a Christian woman.
“As long as she’s young and hot and has the right body parts, she’ll do. I certainly can’t expect her to be able to do science or math or economics. That’s too hard for women.”
Of course, when I realize that these men have no plan or expectations for their wife to have an impact for the kingdom, and they just want someone to wash their clothes, scrub their floors, and birth babies, I guess it makes sense. Why would you wait for a woman who can think logically and learn useful skills by age 21 without going into a lot of debt just for that?
(By the way, the average woman may graduate from college at 23 today and with lots of debt, but the average college student is also spending her evenings socializing with dingbats, her nights sleeping around with jerks, and her mornings recovering with a hangover. It takes a little more time to graduate that way. Thankfully, WK isn’t settling for average).
I’m certain that if men demanded a little more, women would rise to the occasion. But Christian men have bought into the lie that women can’t do much of anything, and women know it. Everyone knew when I was growing up and had straight As, a full scholarship to a top 5 school in the U.S., and a love of learning, that this wasn’t what guys wanted. They wanted the bimbo with the fake blonde hair, fancy clothes, and so much make-up that she was ready for Halloween all year around. Never mind the fact that this all costs a fortune in income and hours of time everyday to maintain. Never mind that she probably has no idea why Christianity is true, why the minimum wage hurts the poor, or what the relationship is between welfare, fatherlessness, and crime. She looks fine (at least with all that face paint on) and that’s really all we can expect of a Christian woman.
As one of the women who meets all of the criteria men look for after they grow out of their adolescent stage and get serious about having a marriage that impacts the culture for God’s glory, I have to pass on anyone who doesn’t want to build me up, invest in me, and encourage me as I submit to him, sacrifice for him, and build him up, so that we are both in the best possible position to make a difference for the King.
Thank you, WK, for not settling for less. Even if you don’t end up with a hot young girl, you are calling women to a higher standard, and you honor women like me in your desires, goals, and expectations. Keep it up!
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I feel like I won the lottery.
I did marry a great Christian woman:
salutatorian of her high school, graduated when she was 16 (started a year early)
very good at math (went to MATHCOUNTS Nationals)
pharmacist (STEM! doctorate)
made a number of wise decisions including optimizing her education (6-year combined Bachelor’s+doctorate in phamacy)
although she did not grow up in a Christian family, neighbors took her to church and she decided to follow Jesus as her Lord and Savior as a teen
was involved with Cru in college (became president of the university’s chapter for a year)
When I met her, she was running the adult Sunday Bible studies/Sunday School classes at her church (yeah, I’m sorry … I stole her from this church).
And she’s attractive and we have lots of common interests.
WK, I think it is possible to look for a highly intelligent woman who loves God.
I know it was one thing that I was looking for (I actually had a hard time read: “bad chemistry” … not to be snobby, but if people are too different intellectually, there’s a lot of problems ranging from different senses of humor and interests). In my 20’s, I was much more … “open-minded to marrying and socializing with different people.” I realized over my 20’s that I best get along with highly intelligent people and all of my girlfriends were highly intelligent Christians. I interpreted Genesis 2:21ff (“…took one of his ribs…”) as my wife is my sidekick, my partner, my equal — and especially in the most important aspects. Different strokes for different folks, I just say.
I do think the fish you find really depends on where you fish (not that it is necessary or important to get married). It is one vehicle which God uses to refine us, to make us more like Jesus.
I do think it was important for me that “we are better together — for instance, in terms of obeying God and advancing His kingdom than we are apart.” It is necessary but insufficient to marry a woman, a Christian woman.
(Of course, after one gets married, there are lots of things one can do to maintain and thrive in one’s marriage. For instance, a few years in, I kept a little private journal to write out my favorite memories with my wife. And then thank God for these. Gratitude exercises. Wink.)
Regarding a different comment:
Yes, the blonde was attractive (and I’m sure the woman in the post being ample of chest might be as well) but about half the population of the world are women and half the women in the world are above average. (wink)
Some men aren’t terribly discerning in how they think — “is she good enough to bed, not bad on the eyes? and she doesn’t have burdensome issues to offset that hotness?”
That’s really it for a lot of men. It does it for them.
Unfortunately, bad choices / decisions DO have negative consequences. Promiscuity has negative consequences — it’s not just another flavor of ice cream.
Even when I was a non-Christian, my parents (and grandparents) emphasized being wise in my choices. There’s definitely values they wanted to instill — that I valued money, that I was careful with it, delayed gratification, being excellent in academics, being wise in choices, hard-work.
I try to do a little of the same when I am teaching my kids especially in trying to teach them to be wise.
“Some men aren’t terribly discerning in how they think — “is she good enough to bed, not bad on the eyes? and she doesn’t have burdensome issues to offset that hotness?”
That’s really it for a lot of men. It does it for them.”
Men have been going through a period of being stupid and lazy about choosing women. They don’t even treat their wives well, leading them into meaningful, purposeful work – as you can see from some of the commenters. But I hope that this is changing, as men realize how dangerous marriage has become under these laws and policies. Hopefully, that wakes them up to get serious about who they are marrying, and how to love their wives as equal partners, so the marriage is stable.
I think that men could help her by ignoring her and not having anything to do with her.
But the social conservatives say that it’s men’s fault that her plans aren’t working out. I phrased the post title this way because social conservatives think that her approach to relationships is fine, and that the bad boys that she’s choosing are the ones who have to change. But why would they? They are getting what they want from her already.
Not this social conservative.
Haven’t you noticed how restrained I’ve been on this story, compared with the last one, LOL?!? There’s only so many ways to incorporate the word “Jezebel” into a comment after all. :-)
BTW, my daughter-in-law is following your exact recommended path so far. We will see if she continues on it, but she is about to graduate with a near perfect GPA in EE, and her future plans, I believe, are the same as what you describe. So, your recommendations are not falling on deaf ears. (Her husband (my son) is obviously an engineer – that’s a given.)
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Please be restrained. I wrote this post because a lot of Christian social conservatives I know ignore the worldview and decisions of women completely when look at problems like abortion and fatherlessness.
They point fingers at the hot bad boys that these women choose and demand that they change. But these men were specifically chosen for looks and short term validation. They are getting what they want – sex without consequences. It seems unlikely that somehow a man chosen by this woman will want to commit. She is not ready to pick good men and the men she picks are not ready for marriage.
I am upset too, but I want to be nice to the woman, and to the social conservatives reading so that everyone understands what is going on here.
She has a bad worldview. She picks bad men with a bad worldview on the basis of VALIDATION. She wants hot men to validate her through hookup sex. Those men were not chosen for their good character or commitment ability. They want sex and that’s what they get. They don’t want marriage. So there is no leverage there in their worldview or motives to get them to not kill babies or have fatherless kids.
That’s why I wrote the post. So everyone understands that the problem is with the woman, and that step one is fixing her worldview which causes her to seek validation from hot bad boys via hook up sex.
That’s where abortion and fatherlessness come from. Women like her.
You got me good. I am one of the few christian men who don’t want to save/reward those that continually make terrible decisions.
To quote a jello head by the name of Ozzy Osborne:
I don’t want to change the world but I don’t want the world to change me.
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Give her a one way ticket to Afghanistan.
So you don’t think it’s reasonable to expect the hot bad boys that she’s choosing to change for her? You think maybe the problem is with her worldview?
A man should not expect equality or parity with his Wife. Only if she makes a good help meet.
So I do have to disagree with the general thrust of women needing a STEM degree like her Husband or being brought to parity with him like the other commentators here have said.
A wife who is good sweet and submits to her Husband is quite qualified in many respects already.
As for this democrat woman. She ought to embrace Christ and all it entails. Including accepting the whole package of Traditional values. And give up all the previous values in contradiction to God.
Right I think I must be dealing with a class of men who think that the woman’s job is just to make them happy, and to Hell with the culture.
So I outlined the benefits of having an educated wife in my STEM degree post. And it sounds like the response from several men is “who cares about what God wants? Just make sure you get a woman who pleases you, and don’t worry about whether she can raise Christian children who make a difference, or stop the secularization of our kids at the University. As long as you have food and sex,that’s what marriage is about”.
I’m not interested in marriage that serves ME. I’m interested in marriage that serves God. And I don’t see how marrying someone uneducated and inexperienced serves God. Furthermore, I don’t think she will remain a Christian for long in a culture like this one without knowing how to fight back. And what’s more, neither will our children. But I guess that’s ok for a certain class of men who don’t care about atheism, feminism and socialism in the culture, and only think of their own needs. It’s not ok for me.
Another red flag is that she graduated from the sick demented hothouse of Pedophile State University.