38-year old unmarried model explains what she means by “a decent man” (for marriage)

I’ve always been suspicious of women who make a living through their physical beauty. I see a few problems with modeling as a career. First, you don’t have to produce anything useful that requires understanding the real world, like a programmer or a nurse. Second, you focus a lot on your appearance, and that’s not healthy, since it all fades out by age 35 anyway. Women who get a lot of attention for free typically don’t know how to treat men, either. They don’t learn because they don’t have to learn.

With that in mind, here’s an article by an aging 38-year-old model that illustrates the problem:

Earlier this month I opened the door to a bouquet of flowers.

They were from yet another man who wants to date me. He’s 35, tall, dark and handsome.

[…]And this week, as the gifts roll in from admirers for Valentine’s Day — I have already received two…

[…]I am 38 and have been single for four years.

So, the first thing to point out about this is that it confirms what I was saying about pretty women. Look at the way she talks about how all these men are paying attention to her. Like it or not, her worldview is going to be conditioned by this attention she’s getting from men. She isn’t having to write code to get attention. Or set a fracture. Or do anything. She just gets it because she was born with good looks. And she doesn’t see that it is her job to 1) prepare her character for attracting a man who wants to commit, or 2) choose men who are interested in commitment. Her job is just to be pretty, and then tell everyone how much attention she’s getting from men. Men who will not commit to her. She is mistaking the attention for intent to marry. But men who pay attention to dumb, pretty women don’t intend to marry them. They just want to pump and dump them.

But she doesn’t see her failure to prepare herself for commitment and to prefer commitment-minded men as her problem. On the contrary – her singleness at 38 is the fault of men being worthless:

And I hate to break it to any other single women in their late thirties, but all the decent men in our age bracket have been taken.

[…]While I work out every day, these men look a decade older.

Beer bellies, bad manners, little respect for single women and minimal hygiene — I’ve seen it all on the apps.

Over the past four years I’ve been on almost 500 dates trying to find Mr Right.

And while I have become something of an expert on dating apps — last year I got a congratulations from Tinder for getting 25,000 likes for my profile — unfortunately, I am still looking for The One.

My theory is all the good men were snapped up when they were young. All that’s left is the dregs.

Now, she doesn’t think that she is the dregs for being 38 and being completely unsuited to marriage. She thinks that men are the dregs – because they don’t have an attractive height and appearance. That’s what she’s looking for – and that’s the only thing she’s looking for. She’s had relationships with men, but they just LIVED WITH HER. They never committed, because she wasn’t looking for a man who would commit, she was looking for a man with appearance, height, fitness and hygiene. Someone who looked as good as her.

Doubt me? Read her own words – this is what she values in a man:

During my 500 dates, the only guy I have seriously dated was my age and had the best hair and teeth in the world.

He even had a “proper” job and took me out for fancy dinners. Alas, he wasn’t ready to settle down — or something like that.

Apart from that, there was the guy who looked like Superman on his dating profile but turned up with a long white Santa beard. His body had gone to pot and he was wearing unwashed clothes.

Then there was the wealthy consultant who took me to his club where cocktails were thirty quid a pop. He was generous but knew the value of nothing. Plus, he continually scoffed salt and vinegar nuts on our date — the odour was revolting.

[…]Then there are the beer bellies. If a man has one, I know we’ll have nothing in common as I’m active…

And so on. Everything is about appearance. She’s looking for exactly what she is herself: a pretty face. That’s what she knows, understands and values. And she has no idea that the willingness to commit is not related to external appearances. The important thing for her is the man’s appearance. And that’s why she has 5 billion dates and no commitment. Only a certain kind of man commits. It’s going to be related to his personal character – religion, morality, etc. – more than it’s related to what she can see with her eyes.

In order for a man to stick with a woman through childbirth and aging, he’s going to have to have some reason to value her beyond youth and beauty. And not every man has such reasons. That’s why it’s the woman’s job to do two things. 1) to develop the kinds of character traits that are likely to attract a commitment-minded man, like fitness, femininity, vulnerability, trust, kindness, etc. and 2) to evaluate men and separate the ones who have a worldview that values women for more than youth and beauty.

In the case of Christian men, we are looking for women who have self-control, sobriety, chastity, fidelity, etc. And we are especially attracted to women who take God’s goals as their own, and work independently to promote the things that God thinks are valuable. Women who can defend God’s existence and reputation are highly regarded. Women who put others above their own selfish desires, especially children and animals. Women who are content at home with a non-fiction book. Women who don’t seem to waste money on entertainment, fun and thrills. The woman has to have what commitment-ready men want, and she has to know which men are ready for commitment. SHE CAN’T READ THAT WITH HER EYES OR WITH HER FEELINGS. She’s going to have to ask questions and investigate what he demonstrates about his character with his actions and accomplishments.

22 thoughts on “38-year old unmarried model explains what she means by “a decent man” (for marriage)”

  1. Apps like Instagram make things even worse, as even average women can post photos and get hundreds of likes. No guy can keep up with giving the amount of daily validation to which these women are addicted.

    They never think about what they bring to the relationship other than their current looks, which are fading fast. The high-value men know that, which is why they won’t commit to her. The “regular” guys who would make solid husbands are indeed already married or don’t rate a second look on her standards, because models like this friend-zoned them long ago.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Yes, that is the first thing that jumped out at me too! That’s one date every 3 days on average! For FOUR years!

        We used to have a name for girls like that, and it was not “escort.”

        Liked by 3 people

        1. She had lots of guys paying attention to her – ones she liked and chose. But she wasted 18-38 on hot bad boys whose worldview had no use for a commitment to a woman. She wanted them to entertain her, that was her priority. She thinks that the men who clown have some sort of hidden desire and plan to commit and give her meaningful work to do as a wife and mother, and support her in that. But the men she chose just wanted sex. She avoided all the men who expected wife and mother behaviors from her – they’re boring and challenging and demanding and leading.

          Liked by 3 people

          1. The whole world including parents and pastors has taught her that she is entitled to outcomes regardless of her choices. That there should be no constraint on her actions in the moment in order to achieve a result in the future.

            So, you have single mothers trying to manifest their soul mate using “the law of attraction”, because they can’t be bothered to think hard about what good men want and develop those character traits, them choose good men.

            A soul mate is what women call a man who is so suited to the that he never asks them to do anything hard and always makes them feel good.

            Liked by 1 person

    1. I was watching an episode of Taylor the Fiend yesterday where a beautiful 40-year old was begging any single man to come rescue her from all the work that goes with owning a house.

      Leave aside the question about whether “handyman” is what a man is looking for from marriage. You just have to wonder what she was doing for the last 20 years with men? The time to ask for a rescue is when you’re 20! Not 40! Men like to have support and care from the start of their lives, not to be ignored for 20 years then asked to help someone that ignored them their whole lives!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. And those women think those appeals will win men over?! Sure, honey, you friend-zoned these guys for decades and now that you’ve hit the wall you tell them you want them – but only to do chores for you! Sadly, some desperate beta will probably take her up on it.

        So grateful that I married well, and young. Anyone connecting with that 40 yr. old is doomed.

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        1. Just watch the first 10 minutes, I’m not making this up:

          This woman is a fox, there is no reason that she should be able to get a man to commit to her who has the skills she wanted. But it’s easier to land him when she’s 20, not 40. Men like women who choose them early and investing building them up. The Bible says that women are to be men’s helpers and to respect them – that’s what makes men better. Pretty hard to help and respect when you ignore the good man for 20 years.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. She doesn’t want a man. She wants a slave.

            She talks about men passing “the background check,” but is she going to truthfully give answers to how many men, abortions, and STDs she’s had?

            Liked by 2 people

    2. Can you imagine liking a girl and trying to pry her away from all this attention and validation to build a life with you? You say “let’s read this new Voddie Baucham book together” and she is thinking of all likes, attention and gifts she can get from all these other men who don’t want her to do anything challenging.

      Liked by 2 people

        1. I usually ask who their hero is, boy and girl, then ask how they plan to produce kids like that.

          The typical reply is that their job is to look cute, give positive vibes and spend my money on nonsense.

          Liked by 2 people

          1. Hahaha!

            I like your question MUCH better than mine.

            And don’t forget: she can spend your money just as well after she no fault divorces you and goes back to whoring around with the hawt bad boys.

            Liked by 2 people

  2. One thing I’ve appreciated over the years that my mother taught me from my early teenage years is: Discernment.

    Especially discernment into someone’s character. (Of course, the Bible uses a Greek word like diakrisis and the cognate verb diakrino when talking about discernment. Cough.)

    In any case, even though outwardly I might appear friendly, I am backgrounding processes of discernment — and I did find a lot of decent quality Christian women. A lot of them were Christian leaders, some were pastor’s daughters, seminary professor’s daughters, missionary kids, seminarians, daughters of church elders who were well-discipled, some church leaders (not all church leaders — you have to discern on why they are doing what they are doing).

    Which gets me to motivation. If a Christian is eager to serve her King and to extend His kingdom, you can then see how she is doing that and encourage her in how she is doing that.

    Now, getting back to your post,

    Many people these days judge on a lot of outward appearances:
    Tall.
    Dark haired.
    (Full head of hair.)
    Good teeth.
    Good looking.
    Confident (or at least can pretend/act as much).
    Has money.

    (Or on the flip side some men might pick: “She’s hot” “She’s pretty” “She’s beautiful/gorgeous” etc.)

    All of those things are ephemeral. Circumstances can change.

    People who don’t learn discernment and only pick based on superficial factors/qualities kinda deserve to be in the pickle that they’re in.

    Besides, there’s a saying that the bait you use influences the kind of fish you catch.

    And of course, using the wrong kind of bait (e.g., sex for women, money for men) often lands you the wrong kind of fish.

    I for one, deliberately dressed down and didn’t have flashy shows of wealth. I don’t need to impress anyone and I don’t want to have people attracted to me because of my [apparent] wealth. I’m not going to broadcast my salary, savings, job title(s), resume, etc.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was watching one episode of My 2 Cents recently where he was debating a liberal Christian singer / dancer named Jenna Harmon. She said that she needed to marry someone who is as good looking as she is, to reduce the risk of divorce. So, that’s what marriage is about to her… wow. These people really have no idea what sort of character is needed to commit. Marriage is all about self-denial and self-sacrifice and loving another person who is a sinner, and hard to love.

      This woman is single, lives in New York, near 30, and is not a virgin. And has many past relationships with non-Christians who met her looks criteria then screwed her over.

      Like

  3. Yikes! Please don’t take this personally because I like your commenting a lot but that site is definitely about pumping and dumping women as objects and obviously has a pro-abortion mentality to it. Which I despise to the core.

    I’m no prude and I’m more than happy to refer to certain women as whores and Jezebels even in public. I have a very low view of most women in the West today and, yes gals, you are guilty of being a femiNazi until proven innocent. (Including you churchy gals)
    But, I don’t think the solution to today’s slutty women is for men to become beasts.

    If I’ve missed the mark, my apologies in advance. Probably the only thing I’ve disagreed with you on in a decade.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The thing i find so interesting is how these ‘Christian women’ have yet to piece together why men have left the church en mass. As to the comment about quality Christian women, discernment alone won’t protect you from divorce, losing custody, or having your wealth taken by the divorce Court. At the end of the day, the congregation is part of the sisterhood uber alles and will blame men at every turn. Just look at how any women can blame her relationship decisions on “abuse” and recieve her honary get out of jail card with no questions asked.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with that, but that’s why I prefer women who have been rejected by the church when they try to teach apologetics or economics. There are a handful of women who have this experience of being kicked out of church when they try to introduce the work of pro apologists or economists etc. A girl with that experience won’t use the church against the man – she views them as an obstacle, not an ally.

      Like

    2. But in general yes – this is a huge reason for men not to marry, and women don’t even realize how concerned men are about this. Its alarming to men how easily most women will make themselves into victims and try to get a community of people to attack her husband and overrule him.
      I’ve experienced this myself in church when I tried to introduce apologetics, and was shut down by women whose Christianity was just feeling good and being liked. They did NOT like the idea of men teaching even if the men knew more. They did NOT like the idea that there was anything objective for them to learn even the Bible – they wanted to interpret Christianity as just “what I feel and experienced”. They do NOT want christianity to require them to push moral positions or exclusive truth claims. They don’t want to feel bad or lose friends over Christianity.
      For these women, there was nothing in Christianity that could cause them to feel bad or not be liked by everyone, including non-Christians. And the minute you try to say that Christians have work to do to understand the Bible and study facts to defend it, they run screaming straight to the pastor and claim that Christianity should be free, easy and fun.
      Where is obedience to God presented as free and easy in the Bible?

      Like

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