I’ve always been suspicious of women who make a living through their physical beauty. I see a few problems with modeling as a career. First, you don’t have to produce anything useful that requires understanding the real world, like a programmer or a nurse. Second, you focus a lot on your appearance, and that’s not healthy, since it all fades out by age 35 anyway. Women who get a lot of attention for free typically don’t know how to treat men, either. They don’t learn because they don’t have to learn.
With that in mind, here’s an article by an aging 38-year-old model that illustrates the problem: (H/T Better Bachelor)
Earlier this month I opened the door to a bouquet of flowers.
They were from yet another man who wants to date me. He’s 35, tall, dark and handsome.
[…]And this week, as the gifts roll in from admirers for Valentine’s Day — I have already received two…
[…]I am 38 and have been single for four years.
So, the first thing to point out about this is that it confirms what I was saying about pretty women. Look at the way she talks about how all these men are paying attention to her. Like it or not, her worldview is going to be conditioned by this attention she’s getting from men. She isn’t having to write code to get attention. Or set a fracture. Or do anything. She just gets it because she was born with good looks. And she doesn’t see that it is her job to 1) prepare her character for attracting a man who wants to commit, or 2) choose men who are interested in commitment. Her job is just to be pretty, and then tell everyone how much attention she’s getting from men. Men who will not commit to her. She is mistaking the attention for intent to marry. But men who pay attention to dumb, pretty women don’t intend to marry them. They just want to pump and dump them.
But she doesn’t see her failure to prepare herself for commitment and to prefer commitment-minded men as her problem. On the contrary – her singleness at 38 is the fault of men being worthless:
And I hate to break it to any other single women in their late thirties, but all the decent men in our age bracket have been taken.
[…]While I work out every day, these men look a decade older.
Beer bellies, bad manners, little respect for single women and minimal hygiene — I’ve seen it all on the apps.
Over the past four years I’ve been on almost 500 dates trying to find Mr Right.
And while I have become something of an expert on dating apps — last year I got a congratulations from Tinder for getting 25,000 likes for my profile — unfortunately, I am still looking for The One.
My theory is all the good men were snapped up when they were young. All that’s left is the dregs.
Now, she doesn’t think that she is the dregs for being 38 and being completely unsuited to marriage. She thinks that men are the dregs – because they don’t have an attractive height and appearance. That’s what she’s looking for – and that’s the only thing she’s looking for. She’s had relationships with men, but they just LIVED WITH HER. They never committed, because she wasn’t looking for a man who would commit, she was looking for a man with appearance, height, fitness and hygiene. Someone who looked as good as her. That commitment thing? That’s easy. Nothing to be concerned about. No need to assess religion and morality in a man, which is the ground of commitment, when you get so much attention by looking hawt.
Doubt me? Read her own words – this is what she values in a man:
During my 500 dates, the only guy I have seriously dated was my age and had the best hair and teeth in the world.
He even had a “proper” job and took me out for fancy dinners. Alas, he wasn’t ready to settle down — or something like that.
Apart from that, there was the guy who looked like Superman on his dating profile but turned up with a long white Santa beard. His body had gone to pot and he was wearing unwashed clothes.
Then there was the wealthy consultant who took me to his club where cocktails were thirty quid a pop. He was generous but knew the value of nothing. Plus, he continually scoffed salt and vinegar nuts on our date — the odour was revolting.
[…]Then there are the beer bellies. If a man has one, I know we’ll have nothing in common as I’m active…
And so on. Everything is about appearance. She’s looking for exactly what she is: a pretty face. And she has no idea that the willingness to commit is not related to external appearances. The important thing for her is the man’s appearance. And that’s why she has 5 billion dates and no commitment. Only a certain kind of man commits. It’s going to be related to his personal character – religion, morality, etc. – more than it’s related to what she can see with her eyes.
WINTERY KNIGHT 
I agree, WK. This gal is shallow with a capital S – she is about money and looks alone. There is no talk of her having empathy for the less fortunate, the unwashed, etc. Why – I’ll bet she steps right over the homeless on the way to her penthouse.
Of course, some beauty queens DO have brains too – see SD Governor Kristi Noem. She clearly works out and is active, but she produces for the people of her state too, which is the most important thing by far. I’m guessing she has a charitable soul also.
Your thesis that it all comes down to priorities is spot on. Give me the homely girl with a heart any day, because her beauty shines through from the inside out and never fades.
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She never says what she brings to the relationship, other than better-than-average looks *for her age*. Doesn’t even hint at wanting to be a great wife and mother, and she might have trouble bearing children at that age anyway (and is probably too vain to let having a child alter her body).
500 dates in 4 years?! Yikes.
Everyone needs Jesus. But she really needs Jesus.
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I would say that 38 is 3 years too late. On average. But what evidence do we have that she wants kids? She wants attention, and to put men down for superficial nonsense. Only a mentally ill person would express goals them go in the opposite direction of those goals with her actions. She lacks self-control. She’s a child.
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She might be a child, but she is a train wreck to any portfolio, marriage, or child she gets ahold of.
There is a reason that wise men choose Mary Ann over Ginger. (The irony being that the actress who played Mary Ann, Dawn Wells, was herself a beauty pageant winner and something of a train wreck.)
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wow, 2 whole examples out of how many women on the planet? Here’s a tip for you, the plural of anecdote is NOT data
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Heh. Her attitude is far too prevalent in the dating world, and never mind if she’s obese, has multiple children from other men, broke, or whatever else. Her man had better be perfect.
Glad I quit years ago. I can tell I’m not missing a thing but grief and frustration.
Let them keep looking for Mr. Perfect, but I doubt he commits. He has better options elsewhere.
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I have to admit, for myself, I was indeed looking for looks when I was a single guy. But looks were merely one point on the list of “qualifications”. I ended up with a total babe who still gets attention at 61 years old, but she’s always been far more than her looks. And to whatever extent her looks have battled advancing years, her other qualities have improved…at least in my opinion.
While this person is clearly text-book shallow, I don’t know that it’s necessarily fair to indict all models. No, I haven’t an example in mind. It’s just that odds are there are good people among them. I have no problem with foxes profiting off their looks if there are those willing to pay. That doesn’t indicate shallowness on the part of the model, but merely an acknowledgement of the gift God gave them and it’s value to others…which is what any good businessman does: find something of value others want.
Manufacturers need to attract customers. Exploiting the looks of models for that purpose provides some women with a means to make a good living. From what I hear, it’s not easy. Having the looks just gets you the gig. But then maintaining the looks is essential to keep working.
None of this mitigates the problem presented in this post. Looks are only skin deep, after all, and to base a relationship on looks alone is a recipe for failure. Too many relationships have ended when the looks fade. There must be more.
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Like many young people today, having children is not a priority, or even a strong consideration. She had her opportunities; 5 years of living together with one man, 7 years with another.
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I originally missed the part about where she lived with one guy for 5 years and another for 7. The “Why buy the cow” saying may be old but it is still true. So many women give up their youthful years like that without a marriage commitment and end up like her.
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Yes it’s in the original article. I just briefly mentioned it. She probably chose those guys for their perfect hair and perfect teeth. Trouble is, those things have nothing to do with ability and willingness to commit for life, through thick and thin.
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When I discuss the women who complain about men not wanting to commit with Christians, the first thing they say is how men are to blame. But when you look at the details, you see that these women had their chances. They are not helpless Christian virgins pining away for their perfect man. They choose looks and then play the victim when it turns out that character is the ground of commitment, not looks (and not fun, either).
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Last point. I think the problem with all of this is that people have this soulmate view of relationships. They break up so frequently that they are resolved not to invest in other people in order to guard themselves from breakups. And what happens is they keep cycling through relationships with people they barely know, then nuking those relationships when they require any effort from them. They are determined not to put effort in, thinking that the right relationship will require no growth or sacrifice. And this is men’s approach that I’m talking about, but women as well.
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Sometimes I wonder what it wrong with me because I am (still) single and nobody ever looks at me. I pray for my future husband.
This article and the one attached bring contentment. I pray to remain hidden and protected until God brings us together.
This world is madness.
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Absolutely great post! And wow she went on 500 dates and still couldn’t find a good man. Hmm. That’s an indication that it is not the men’s problem, but rather she is the problem. Her aura is vanity therefore she’ll attract men of no substance or character. She’s clearly superficial and real men of integrity aren’t checking for her no matter how pretty she is. It takes more than appearance to be a wife. She set herself in a position to be only seen as a one night stand, side chick, or good time gal. All because of her vanity and the superficial ideals she upholds. She literally dedicated her life to pure vanity and thinks that getting alot of attention from creeps makes her highly valuable. Man is she delusional. Getting alot of attention from creeps doesn’t mean you’re wife material, if anything it only sets one to be eye candy. And real men want wholesome food.
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This woman reminds me so much of this one, who settled and settled hard. No mention of hubby anywhere, and you know she’d have been endlessly bragging if he’d been the millionaire movie star she really wanted. I do smile when a narcissist gets her comeuppance.
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2019/06/01/she-wasnt-gods-best/
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Yeah, Wendy Griffith finally got married in her 50’s. Here’s a video of her https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=norPp7kS3p4 . She’s pushing her book about how she’s the prize, etc., and how it was worth the wait.
But the real key is at the 4:52 mark, where she talks about being in the world in her 20’s. So what she should be teaching is that sleeping around in your 20’s (or at any time) is a bad idea! She wasted her youth with men who weren’t suitable marriage partners. That’s the lesson, not that if you have a 30 year broadcast career and finally meet a guy in your 50’s and miss the chance of having children that everything is just swell. If she was honest her book title would have been, “Don’t waste your 20’s sleeping around with unsuitable marriage material!” But she twists the truth to ensnare other women into her disastrously flawed worldview.
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