Comparing male and female support for abortion, divorce and gay marriage

Disclaimer: This post doesn’t apply to married women. When I refer to women below, I mean young, unmarried women. But I’m just going to say “women” for brevity’s sake.

Are women really more moral than men? Let’s take a look at the attitudes of men and women on five of the most prominent moral issues of our time: gay marriage, divorce, abortion, war, and crime.

Gay marriage, divorce and abortion

Here is Pew Research on gay marriage as of 2016:

Women far more likely to support gay marriage than men
Women are more immoral on gay marriage than men

Women favor gay marriage by a margin of 58% compared to only 52% for men.

Here is the Austin Institute on divorce in 2014:

Women are more immoral on divorce than men
Women are more immoral on divorce than men

Women initiate about 70% of divorces, even though they freely chose the man they married, and vowed to stick by him through all circumstances.

Here is Gallup on abortion as of 2015:

Women are more immoral on abortion than men
Women are more immoral on abortion than men

About 75% of young, unmarried women vote for the Democrat party – the party of unrestricted, taxpayer-funded abortion.

Abortion ignores the needs of unborn children. Same-sex marriage ignores the need of children for a mother and a father. Divorce devastates children, causing all sorts of negative effects. Men are more willing to judge all three of these bad behaviors than women. Men are more concerned about protecting the weak than they are about feeling compassionate and being perceived as “tolerant”.

What about war and self-defense against criminals?

Women are also more liberal than men on war and self-defense. You can just look at what happened in the Middle East to the Yazidi girls who are being raped and sex-trafficked to understand the consequences of this anti-war viewpoint. To be anti-war when the war is just is to be pro-evil. Just ask the Christians being tortured and murdered in Syria whether they are happy that American troops were withdrawn from Iraq. Just ask the victims of crimes like rape whether they wish they had been armed when they were attacked. Men are tougher on terrorists and criminals than women are.

Blaming men for what women choose to do

This data shows that men should be challenging women to improve their views on these important issues. But Christian pastors and scholars often discourage men from challenging women on moral issues, preferring to blame men when women take the wrong side of moral issues.

For example, here’s Mark Driscoll explaining how men are to blame for single motherhood:

Part of it is the unintended consequences of divorce. Forty percent of kids go to bed at night without a father. Not to be disparaging toward single moms, but if you’re a single mom and you’re working 60 hours a week, and you’ve got a boy, and he’s home all by himself with no parents and no dad, he’s just going to be hanging out with his buddies, feeding himself pizza rolls.

The number one consumer of online pornography is 12- to 17-year-old boys. What that means is he’s home eating junk food, drinking Monster energy drinks, downloading porn, masturbating and screwing around with his friends. That really doesn’t prepare you for responsible adulthood. That’s a really sad picture, especially if you’re a single gal hoping to get married someday. You’re like: “Seriously, that’s the candidate pool? You’ve got to be kidding me.” That’s why 41 percent of births right now are to unmarried women. A lot of women have decided: “I’m never going to find a guy who is actually dependable and responsible to have a life with. So I’ll just get a career and have a baby and just intentionally be a single mother because there are no guys worth spending life with.”

Lindsay from Lindsay’s Logic shows that even Focus on the Family promotes the view that women are basically good, and that if they are not good, then it’s the fault of men.

First the picture she posted:

Focus on the Family says: blame the man
Focus on the Family: blame the man for what the woman does

Here is the full text of Lindsay’s post:

Focus on the Family recently posted this meme on their page.

At first glance, many people might be tempted to agree with it. But the statement in the poster is actually false.

The truth is that there are plenty of loving, gentle men who are worthy of respect but whose wives are not responding properly to their love and gentleness. Plenty of women have fallen for the feminist ideas that they should never submit or let a man lead them and will be difficult to live with, no matter how wonderful their man is. Even among women who are not feminists, it’s difficult for many women to follow a husband’s leadership because our sinful nature is in rebellion against God’s plan.

Submission and following our husbands is something that must be learned, not something we’re born with or develop naturally. Women aren’t naturally good and kind any more than men are. We’re all fallen. We have to work to develop good habits and learn to do what God wants of us.

It certainly is easier for women to follow a loving, gentle man, but the poster is wrong in assuming that the only barriers to a woman following her man are his flaws. That simply isn’t true. Women also have to overcome their own flaws that stand in the way of the proper relationship they were meant to have.

Unfortunately, this attitude that women are naturally good and that men are the flawed ones that need to change is very prevalent, even among Christians. Imagine the outrage people would have if the scenario was reversed and the poster said something like this:

“Men are usually comfortable being kind and loving to their wives if their wives are submissive, keep up their appearance, and respect them.”

People would be up in arms over such a statement that assumes that men are always wonderful if women will just behave as they should. Why is it any different if the assumption is that women are always wonderful if men are behaving properly? Both are wrong. Both sexes are responsible for their own actions, regardless of what the other person in the marriage does.

This practice among Christian leaders of blaming men for the actions of women is one of the major reasons why women have the views that they do on abortion, divorce, gay marriage, just war and self-defense. Men have been cowed into silence by man-blamers like Mark Driscoll and James Dobson. This message actually weakens the moral leadership of men, and creates a worse world.

This lack of moral leadership by men is particularly problematic with “pro-life” men who try to blame men for abortion. Abortions occur (in non-rape cases) because a woman makes two choices: 1) choosing a man who only wants recreational sex, and 2) choosing to have recreational sex with a man who has shown no interest in commitment or parenting. Speaking as an unmarried virgin somewhat advanced in years, there are plenty of good men out there who don’t believe in sex before marriage, and who have prepared very well for the traditional male roles of protector, provider and moral/spiritual leader. If women insist on choosing the wrong men, and choosing to do the wrong things with those men, it makes sense to hold them accountable. The bad men were bad before the women chose them, and so they should have been recognized and avoided by the women before any need for abortion occurred. A woman cannot expect a bad man to suddenly turn into a good man after he is given recreational sex. Recreational sex does not make a man who is not interested in marriage and children somehow become interested in marriage and children. And women need to be told this by pro-life men who are not cowards.

Men really need to shed this perception that there is something wrong with them, and challenge women on areas where they have immoral views. Men: don’t let yourselves be manipulated into silence in order to get affection, approval or sex. If you must have affection, approval and sex, then choose a woman who puts moral standards above feeling happy and being perceived as compassionate.

8 thoughts on “Comparing male and female support for abortion, divorce and gay marriage”

  1. “But Christian pastors and scholars often discourage men from challenging women on moral issues, preferring to blame men when women take the wrong side of moral issues.”

    This is exactly correct – and needs to be said. Women need to be held accountable. This feminizing of many Christian denominations has driven many men from the churches.

    Let me give you an example of not holding women accountable from the the pro-life movement. There are not a few “pro-life” groups out there that basically try to tell you that women have little or no culpability for having abortions. For these groups, women are always victims, always exploited, almost always forced into having abortions. For these groups, the blame lies almost entirely with men. This position and the approach that flows from it are flawed and have not moved many women to a pro-life position over the decades. (About the only thing that has moved some women to reject abortion has been showing them the posters with the graphic photos of what dismembered babies look like after being aborted.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Women’s emotions cannot be questioned, they are seen as reliable guides that cannot be overruled. Almost like a direct line to God’s will. Even if their plans are opposed to Scripture.

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  2. A little more balance. Some women are very moral and some men immoral. More complicated than this. The main point is we need to make mindful judgements, not bigoted ones.

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    1. “The main point is we need to make mindful judgements,…”

      The statistics shared here and the quoted messages are what this posts mindful judgements are based on. This post has a very careful, factual basis.

      Did you miss the statistics and actual examples WK shared in this post? Did you just ignore them? Did you carefully read the article?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Perhaps the church needs to encourage the mature Titus 2 women to step up. Though todays unsaved younger women may not fine it appealing. They are not the same. They have been raised in a society without God. They need to be inspired to delight in Him. Do we present Him as One to be desired? Is it appealing? Are we encouraging such a relationship with our Creator?

    It seems there are too many false or misleading expectations all around. With desire in most hearts, minds and eyes, for the forbidden. The unattainable….

    Everybody hurts. But God is amazing! so let’s pray for wise and humble hearts and ask what we can do to help resolve this dilemma. This societal outcome of sinful choices. .

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Then perhaps you can post an article to encourage your followers to consider our prayer and action options. (?)

        I am a ‘victim’ of divorce from the 60’s when very few parents were divorced and U.S. rebellion was rising. I was not raised christian, I was in public school when prayer was stopped and I rode the wave of sin in my genwration. We did not know differently. Yet as a child I experienced hearing christian music on the radio and having God shared in public conversations and in my brownie troop. All stores were closed on Sunday to honor God and unsaved families like mine, had a peaceful day to hang out.
        In retrospect, those small Chritian influences caused me to trust that there is a God and though it took half a lifetime to hear His ‘ still small voice’ and therafter to stumble on, I did hear Him. And so will the others whom he has predestined to do so with influences and testimonies such as yours and mine.

        I value your intellect, love of God and your choice to truly serve Him. You are a rare and beautiful testimony to living for Jesus. Thank you, young brother, for sharing your education, passions, insight and God-given gifts with the rest of us.

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  4. Reblogged this on Patriactionary and commented:

    Disclaimer: This post doesn’t apply to married women. When I refer to women below, I mean young, unmarried women. But I’m just going to say “women” for brevity’s sake.

    Except you mention that “Women initiate about 70% of divorces”, and so the post DOES apply to married women (since, of course, by definition, unmarried women don’t initiate ANY divorces). ;)

    Anyway, disclaimer aside, a most revealing post… Thanks! :)

    Like

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