Liberal feminist celebrates decline of traditional marriage norms

Here’s an article from the radically left-wing New Republic by Helen Croydon, in which she explains why marital norms have got to go.

She needs to keep her freedom and fulfill her different needs at different times:

[…]I… would rather retain my single status with a few rewarding lovers to fulfill different needs at different times of my life. Relationships can be a nice addition to contentment but they no longer have to be the main ingredient.

Science shows that we’re all just monkeys anyway:

Liberal social attitudes mean monogamy for the sake of it is but a moral trinket. Fine if you’re in the early throes of romantic love and only have eyes for each other. I’ve been there many times and what a wonderful feeling it is. But it’s no secret that romantic infatuation doesn’t last. In fact anthropologists now distinguish between different states of attraction. There is romantic love, where you are flooded with dopamine, get the butterflies and want to spend every moment together. Then there is attachment, where you are flooded with the hormone oxytocin and feel a deep sense of trust, familiarity and love for your partner but little passion. In the former you probably find monogamy agreeable. I certainly do. By the time you’ve been together for long enough to not close the bathroom door to trim your toenails, you’re likely to find your eyes and fantasies wander occasionally. But of course you will rein them in because the modern conventions of relationships dictate that’s what you should do.

A lot of people are doing it, so that makes it morally permissible:

There are now 3.5 million people over the age of 45 living alone in the UK, an increase of more than 50 percent since the mid-1990s. Domestic conveniences like vacuum cleaners, modern compact apartments and supermarket deliveries make it all very easy. In researching my book I interviewed married couples who live apart. One couple were on the verge of separating when they rented the house next door as a trial separation. Without the domestic minutiae overshadowing their “romantic” relationship, they thrived, so they made it permanent. The wife told me in glee: “I can invite people back and have parties. I could never do that before because he’s such a miserable anti-social thing.” So common is this new trend that the Office for National Statistics has created a term for it—LAT (living apart together). It estimates there are currently two million LAT couples in the UK. More people choose to live alone because they can.

This is the part that is really interesting:

If you think life-long commitment is still needed to start a family, a replacement for that has been found too. Earlier this month it was reported that the number of single women seeking artificial insemination with a sperm donor has doubled in five years. This is more significant if you consider that as late as the 1950s single motherhood was deplored so much that they could be locked away in a mental asylum.

So she’s saying “lots of people are having fatherless children, so that makes it right”. This is how liberal feminists decide. You don’t have to look at studies to see what fatherlessness does to a child – you just have to see if your friends will judge you for it. If they don’t judge you, then you’re fine to do anything you want.

And now I’m going to tell you exactly why this woman wrote this article. She wrote it because she made poor choices with men, and now she is trying to get younger women to make the same poor choices, so she doesn’t feel alone in their failure. That’s the whole point of this. Don’t judge me. Don’t disapprove of me. I didn’t hurt anyone. I didn’t do anything wrong. Everything is going exactly as planned. I’m a big success, and my married friends who have children are not any better than me. I can have children any time I want. My career is as fulfilling as a family. Everyone is cheating on everyone anyway, so why even try?

This is not a safe woman to marry.

4 thoughts on “Liberal feminist celebrates decline of traditional marriage norms”

    1. Wow, what a delightfully narcissistic little rant by Ms Croydon. Not sure if I agree with her definitions though.

      Human beings = consumable objects to be used and discarded based on one’s felt ‘needs’

      Monogamous commitment = a ‘feeling’ fuelled by temporary hormones and arbitrary societal ‘conventions’.

      I wish I could say this article was just one bitter person’s cynical perspective on life, but sadly, I’ve seen similar logic on the web all too often. I’m glad that, as Anthony notes above, NR’s combox contributors are showing a display of greater sense.


  1. This type of stuff is why the whole same sex marriage gambit is so dangerous. They know it means just one more reason to regard marriage as a nice choice, but wholly unnecessary for society in general.
    The foundations of civilization can never be single roamers and random babies. It has to be married male/female couples raising children together in a life-long marriage. Encouraging anything else is just plain nuts.


  2. I used to do transcription for a youth correctional facility, and I couldn’t help but notice nearly all the kids in there had little to no contact with their fathers. Very rarely did I type an evaluation about a kid whose parents were married.

    Any woman who would purposefully bring a child into a life of having a single parent via artificial insemination is reprehensible.

    I wonder how long it will be until its seen okay to have these views about children. After all, it’s “just” chemicals/hormones that make people feel bonded to their children. So why shouldn’t it be socially acceptable to just boot them when they’re 18 and have no further love for them? Heck, maybe make a new cuter replacement kid. After all, it’s all about what makes you feel good apparently.


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