Mark Driscoll explains what men are supposed to do

Mark Driscoll writes this article. (H/T Mary)


When the man is trying to subdue and harness everything under his dominion to do what he desires for it to do, and it all fights against him, it teaches him about God: The ground is doing to the man what the man does to the Lord. The man asks, “Why is this so hard? Why is everything fighting me? Why is it in rebellion?” And God says, “Because you’ve sinned, and you’re doing the same thing to me.” So the man starts to understand the gospel as he’s working. The more a man works and takes responsibility, and becomes a husband and a father, and buys a home, and runs a business, the more likely he is to make sense out of the gospel. Because he’ll feel what it’s like to have something rebel against you when you’re trying to bring order out of chaos.

This will remind him that he is that way toward God, that he is thorns and thistles, and that God is trying to cultivate him. It brings a man to a place of humility. What this means for the men: Everything you try and do is going to be hard. Some men think, “Well, I’ll just find a woman, kids, job, house, or new car that won’t be a lot of work. But, they don’t make those! Nothing comes that way. Everything on this planet is a fixer-upper. And men are going to have to work hard to cultivate those things.

I think this is something women need to understand about Christian men. When men try to change you to be more Christ-like and more effective, it’s not because we don’t like you – it’s because we do like you. We don’t try to teach apologetics to fishes, and we don’t try to turn feminists into fiscal conservatives and foreign policy hawks. We work on you like we would work on F-14 Tomcats. Because you’re valuable and awesome. And what happens to your worldview matters, ultimately. It’s not judging, it’s serving.

It might be worth checking out chapter 3 of C.S. Lewis’ “The Problem of Pain” as well, where he explains divine benevolence as a process in which the lover perfects the beloved, because he cares that the beloved is perfect. That’s why the best women are the ones who let you lead them.

And a little more Driscoll:

Men are built to learn and receive knowledge, and cultivate the mind and the soul by reading, learning, thinking. Not just in abstract concepts, but in practical life. Most men are practical theologians. They want to know about how to make money and work and life and have friendship and defend and have honor and nobility and dignity, all the themes of the Father to the Son in Proverbs.

And that’s why guys like me are always pushing women to learn more about the mechanics of marriage, economics, counter-terrorism, legal firearm ownership, etc. We are trying to live out what the Bible says here in the real world. And that means thinking about how the real world works. What really helps the poor? Cutting taxes, or raising the minimum wage? What really deters terrorists? A carrier battle group parked next to a rogue nation, or canceling missile defense programs?

Now I’m going to be silly to draw comments from Mary.

Regarding Driscoll himself – I like Driscoll, but I think he is a big frightened feminist coward when it comes to holding women accountable for their own choices. I think he is soft on his Bible and theology. You know, he has a flock to maintain and it’s probably like three-quarters women, so he might have to twist the Scriptures here and there in order to fix the blame on men for the bad things that women freely choose to do. Still, you might get something out of his article, even though I think his theology is Unitarian or Episcopalian or something. Oh wait, I remember – he’s Catholic. Oh, I mean he’s Calvinist. I get those two mixed up all the time because they’re so similar. He probably voted for Obama, too. Can anything good come out of King County?

UPDATE: I am totally kidding in that last paragraph. Please everyone comment saying they are not offended so ECM will know that Christians don’t get offended that much.

15 thoughts on “Mark Driscoll explains what men are supposed to do”

  1. I don’t know, Wintery.
    When you call Pastor Driscoll a frightened feminist, it scares me to think what you are.

    1. Mara, I have to ask you. I’m kidding of course. Do you think I should add some sort of disclaimer because ECM says that last paragraph is REALLY OFFENSIVE. I’m just trying to annoy Mary to get attention.

  2. You great big feminist, democrat, new age lobster!

    I must say, without the disclaimers, I’d have been alarmed as well… :-P

    1. Our Church looks for the coming of the Anti-Jib, known as The Lobsterous One.

      It appears that you, O Winter Knight, are the One whose coming was foretold of old!

      R.K. Ball, Church of the Universal Jibba-Jabba (Reformed).

  3. Well, let’s just say, I’m glad I only asked a question and didn’t have a knee-jerk. (I’m laying off those here lately. Aren’t you proud?)

    I like humor, but sometimes it’s lost in the written word. I know I’ve been misunderstood that way. That’s why people use :) and :0 and ;), etc. To help others know when they are leaving the serious and venturing off into something else.


    1. I have to admit Mara, you are being a lot nice to me lately, especially given your lobsterous temper. Thanks for not pinching me as much.

      Actually, I think what Driscoll said this time was mostly good. I hope he writes a follow-up explaining how women ought to respond to men, given this broadly accurate characterization of what a good man is. I have found that when I love a woman, I am enchanted by her, I want to marry her, I want to send her back to school to learn more, and to give her a home and children, and to demonstrate love for her, to be courteous and chivalrous towards her, and to raise children who will serve the Lord effectively. All of this is is supposed to be acted out and practiced in the courtship in smaller ways – roses, shirts and ties, solving her problems, serving her, giving her gifts, encouraging her to read and grow, and seeing me nurture and love her friends like I would love our children. All women suffer trauma in their childhood from bad parenting or from their own bad choices. My job is to make a plan that will allow them to see and experience a good family, with a good husband and father, and to heal all of the damage they’ve suffered. But means that they have to be willing to follow me and to work with me on it together.

  4. “Can anything good come out of King County?”

    You are channeling Nathanael, aren’t you? Or am I imagining things? As for Christians not getting offended much, I think we do. We just express it much more passively. Like the fact I raised my eyebrow when I saw the word ‘Catholic’ but decided it doesn’t matter really!

  5. Sir Richard, methinks I am familiar with your Church. It is known also as the Church of the Age of the Aquarium. It is a pleasure to meet a fellow aquatic. Indeed, the knowledge of the Great Depths has been given to you. This, the Wintery Knight, is that fearsome lobster, the Anti-Jib, spoken of from of old. Fear not. We shall defeat him, you and I, because we possess the sublimely obscure wisdom of the Great Walrus. As it says in our sacred text: “The time has come, the Walrus said, to speak of other things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings. Calloo, callay, oh happy day for cabbages and kings!” Down with the Anti-Jib!

    1. So I get to be a lobster pirate too now? I have to admit though. I’ve always wanted to be a pirate, which is why I travel around so much working in different places and gathering treasures for my future wife and children. And I do have a hard shell. Maybe I am a lobster pirate after all!

  6. Having watched Driscoll for over two years, I can say that he’s no harder on men and women than Scripture itself is, because he actually opens it and teaches it. If you don’t believe me, take a look at his sermon series and evaluate them yourself; they follow the Biblical model beginning in Genesis 3:9 where God asks first where Adam is, then Eve.

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