Marriage Rate in America through to 2020

Famous cancer researcher cannot find work after being fired for consensual office romance

I sometimes get into discussions with social conservatives about why I am not at least trying to get married. I have a lot of reasons for not trying to get married. For one, I don’t want to fall under the authority of hierarchies (school, work or church) who don’t think that women should ever be held responsible for their own choices. Let’s take a look at a news story that illustrates the problem.

Once upon a time, men would meet their wives in school, workplaces or churches. As long as the man was not in the reporting hierarchy of the woman, (i.e. – as long as he was not her manager or her director, etc.), then it was fine for people to meet up, date, get engaged, and get married. But that’s all changed now.

Consider this story from the New York Post:

A renowned Massachusetts Institute of Technology biologist who was axed after having what he said was a consensual fling with a much younger colleague, said the mushrooming scandal forced him on the unemployment line.

David Sabatini, 54, whose research involved unraveling how tumors develop, resigned from MIT last month and has been surviving on employment after fellow scientist Kristin Knouse claimed he “groomed” and “coerced” her into a sexual relationship, according to a report and court papers.

A longtime friend and dean at the NYU Grossman School of Medicine tried to offer him a job, but after an uproar, the school announced on May 3 that it would not hire him despite the fact that colleagues described him in a recent article as one of the world’s greatest scientists — a “genius” in line for the Nobel Prize.

“What wormhole did my life take, to … protests and being called a sexual predator? What quirk in the universe allowed this to happen?” said Sabatini, who has denied wrongdoing and noted Knouse did not work in his lab or report to him.

In an October lawsuit against MIT, Sabatini said that his relationship with Knouse, who is 21 years his junior, was consensual — and told a reporter he was shocked to find himself the subject of protests at NYU when the school explored the possibility of hiring him.

Sabatini has contended he and Knouse began their fling during a 2018 conference, while he was in the midst of a divorce. By 2020, he thought the affair had cooled, though he claims Knouse wanted to continue. By October 2020, she complained she’d been harassed, and in a later lawsuit alleged Sabitini oversaw a “sexualized” environment in his lab.

What’s interesting about this story to me is that it’s been reported that this woman entered into this relationship with this man after he clearly communicated to her that he was only looking for something casual. I.e. – he was not trying to hide that he did not want to be tied down. He was telling her that up front.

There are more details about the story in Common Sense.

After their initial hook-up…

…they met up at Knouse’s condo near Boston Common where they discussed a few ground rules for their tryst. They agreed they could see other people. Knouse, Sabatini remembers, had ongoing flings with men who she referred to with nicknames like “anesthesiologist f*** buddy,” “finance bro,” and “physics professor,” and she wanted to keep it that way. Also, they wouldn’t tell anyone. Why complicate things at work? It was all supposed to be fun.

Why did this woman get the man fired? Well, there is an old saying about women that goes like this: “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”. Apparently, Sabatini was getting interested in another woman, and less interested in Knouse:

Things were fizzling… he was getting involved with another woman, a microbiologist in Germany.

Knouse didn’t want to let go. In January 2020 she texted, in part: “I get anxious when I don’t hear back from you and then I see you post stuff on Twitter and it provides an admittedly small and silly but still another bit of evidence to this growing feeling that you don’t care about me in the way that I care about you.” He wrote back: “I am sorry but you are being crazy.” In another text, Knouse admitted feeling “stung.” She added: “I think it’s worth thinking about whether you want someone who matches your passion, intellect, and ambition.”

Feminists think that people are faithful and committed because of self-interest, e.g. – “passion, intellect, and ambition”, i.e. – self-interest. They think that  a woman can just like fun, and choose a man who likes fun, and have a permanent, exclusive relationship based on continuous fun. No need to care about religion. No need to care about the rationality of moral behavior. No need to care about traditional gender roles. Things will just work out, if each person acts selfishly all the time.

So what happened to Sabatini next?

This:

In October 2020, Knouse texted her friends that she was “unpack[ing] a ton of suppressed abuse and trauma from an obvious local source”—an apparent reference to Sabatini. Knouse’s fellowship at the Whitehead was ending, and she didn’t apply for any faculty jobs there. When the new director, Ruth Lehmann, called Knouse to ask why, Knouse complained for the first time of being “harassed.”

In November, Knouse warned her friend—an incoming Whitehead fellow—to “squeeze out as much advice as possible before your mentor is Weinstein’ed out of science.”

In December, at Lehmann’s behest, the consulting firm Jones Diversity sent the Whitehead employees a survey “based in part on Dr. Knouse’s false complaint about Dr. Sabatini,” according to a complaint later brought by Sabatini. All participants were anonymous. Five or so of the nearly 40 employees in Sabatini’s lab took part.

The next month, two former Sabatini lab members lodged complaints to H.R.—the first complaints against him in his 24-year tenure—about “bro culture” in the lab.

This prompted the Whitehead to hire the law firm Hinckley, Allen & Snyder to conduct an investigation on “gender bias and/or inequities and a retaliatory leadership in the Sabatini lab.” The Whitehead never told Sabatini what he was accused of. Former lab members told me their co-workers were sobbing when they came out of meetings with the lawyers, saying that the lawyers had put words in their mouths. “They had a very strong agenda,” one of them told me.

Knouse was 29 years old. She was not a child. Sabatini never worked with her. He never supervised her. He never threatened her or pressured her. This was a relationship between two consenting adults. But that doesn’t matter, because in every school and workplace, women cannot be held responsible for their own bad choices. Women are always victims of men. It is always the man who must be punished. And men have to go to school and work in these environments for their entire lives – walking on thin ice, never knowing when the axe will fall.

Sabatini is ruined:

In the 24 hours after the report came out, Sabatini’s life fell apart. MIT put him on administrative leave. The Howard Hughes Medical Institute, another prestigious non-profit that funds biomedical research and was paying Sabatini’s salary, fired him. He resigned from the Whitehead, and eventually MIT, at the advice of his lawyers who thought it would help him secure his next job. (“I one hundred percent regret that,” Sabatini told me).

Soon, the biotech startups he’d helped found— Navitor Pharmaceuticals, KSQ and Raze Therapeutics—started severing their relationships with him. Sabatini was axed from professorships, fellowships, and professional societies. Awards and grants were pulled. His income disappeared.

Knouse is still working. They decided that she didn’t violate the policy – only he violated it. She has no problem at all with this outcome – she really believes she is a victim, and shouldn’t have to take responsibility for her own choices. Can you imagine being married to a woman who does whatever she wants, then blames you when things go wrong? And worse – goes to the authorities to have them punish you, when she is the one who chose poorly?

This was a consensual relationship. Expectations were set at the beginning – this was casual, no commitment. She agreed to the casual nature, she was sleeping with several other men. Suddenly, she reached age 29, and decided it was time to get serious. He reminded her about their arrangement – nothing serious.

They were BOTH EQUALLY in violation of the company rule. Abuse was alleged by her, but there was no police involvement to verify it. He was punished, but there was no criminal trial where he could defend himself. He was not given due process. No lawyer. No self-defense. This lack of due process is common on college campuses, workplaces, and even in religious organizations. Women who are jilted by men are able to make these allegations and get these men fired without any due process.

Some people might say “well, he was treating her badly, so he deserved it”. The issue is not whether he is to blame, or whether she is to blame. The issue is what message it sends to men about the safety of having relationships with women. Women aren’t punished for breaking the same rules as men break. And men are learning from that not to engage in relationships with women, because the authorities always side with the women even if their own decisions have gotten them into trouble.

Some people might say, “well as long as you act morally, then this won’t happen to you”. But these accusations can also be made against innocent men who are just “guilty” of offending women in the school or workplace with their conservative or Christian views. This was already happening to people in companies like Mozilla and Google. Men sometimes get accused of false rape and sexual harassment for rejecting a woman’s advances.

I know that a lot of pro-marriage social conservatives love to load men up with duties, and blame them when things go wrong. But those social conservatives cannot expect men to continue to marry in an environment where men are always to blame, men must always be punished, men must always pay alimony and child support, men must always go to jail, men must always lose their jobs or custody of their kids. Men are learning NOT to talk to women, date them, mentor them, or marry them.

It’s lots of fun for pro-marriage social conservatives to treat women like children, and embrace chivalry in public. It’s a form of virtue-signaling. But if you ignore the incentives facing men, then you are causing the very decline of marriage that you claim to oppose.

8 thoughts on “Famous cancer researcher cannot find work after being fired for consensual office romance”

  1. Here’s another glaring example of Feminist Double Speak. Out of one side of their mouth, they say that women are strong and independent, capable of making their own decisions and not in need of men to tell them what to do. In the same breath, they then state that in any relationship between a man and a woman, women are too inherently naïve to know what they really want, and it is always the responsibility of the man to know whether or not the woman really wants what she says she wants. The person who should be the most embarrassed in this situation is Knouse. Is she seriously saying that at 29 years old, she was too inherently stupid to know what she was agreeing to or what the consequences would be?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. There seems to be a real tendency among feminists to want all of the authority in the relationship, but with none of the responsibility and none of the accountability. I think men need to test women for whether they act like victims when their decisions go wrong. Avoid women who act like victims when their own decisions go wrong. You can’t make a relationship work with someone like that.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. There’s a case like this in a prominent church denomination right now, where a woman got into a consensual affair with a powerful, influential older married man, and then later claimed “abuse” and got him fired. She is still working with the Christian company, even though she was equally in violation of their policy.

    https://www.dailywire.com/news/southern-baptists-metoo-moment

    From the broad outlines of Jennifer Lye11’s story, it’s easy to understand why the members of the executive committee might have felt some hesitation to unquestioningly label her as a victim of abuse.

    In 2004, Lye11 was a 26-year-old master of divinity student when she met cultural anthropology professor David Si11s, who is 23 years her senior, on the Louisvi11e campus of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Shortly after, she became close with the entire Si11s family, including David’s wife, Mary, as we11 as his co11ege-age son and teenage daughter. She a11eges that it was on a mission trip with Si11s and his daughter that Si11s first “sexua11y acted” against her.

    That incident, she says, began a pattern of abuse that lasted 12 years until she was 38, continuing even as she moved to Chicago in 2006 and, later, Nashvi11e, to further her career in publishing. During the time that Lye11 was a publishing executive, she often worked with Si11s, contracting with him for books, and, arguably, holding more power over his career than he did over hers.

    In essence, Lye11 was claiming that Si11s was able to continue committing acts of sexual abuse against her even after she’d left the state because she would return to visit the family.

    The article contains many other interesting details.

    According to the article, the accused was never allowed to defend himself. And the police were never brought in to investigate the charges. Just like on university campuses where men get expelled without the police ever getting involved, and the accused never being allowed to defend himself from legal charges. The woman was paid $1 million dollars from her employer’s insurance company.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What strikes me as most absurd about her story is that she claims this relationship was abusive, even as she willingly continued to visit the family including after she had moved out of the state. To paraphrase Gavin de Becker, if you get hit once you’re a victim. If you get hit twice, you’re an enabler.

      In other words, even if her account is true, she willingly allowed it to go on for 12 years despite having the means (and certainly the intelligence) to put an end to it. What’s more likely:

      1. A 23 year old Master of Divinity Student was too inherently naïve to reject the advances of an abusive mentor and did not come to this realization for more than 12 years?

      or

      2. A 38 year old woman felt guilty about her consensual infidelity with a married man and realized she could cash in on the #MeToo hysteria by making herself out to be a victim?

      I’ll leave it to the reader to decide, but if you decide the former, I’ll ask what this says about your view of female intelligence and capability?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. To quote Jack Nicholson’s character in “As Good As It Gets” when asked by a female fan how he writes women so well, “ I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability.”

    Among all the men I know who are in what I will call “stable, functional, long-lasting marriage”….meaning married for 20+ years and divorce is not on the horizon, well over 50% of the men are married to women who fit the mold you describe. And the numbers don’t change for Christian, supposedly Bible-believing wives. Even Christian women are loath to give up the power that modern feminism has given them (even though using that power destroys their marriages and dishonors God.)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. A cousin fell in love with her biology professor. He began to lover her, as well. She’s a little shy and doesn’t push, but neither is she a clinging vine. Very independent, yet happy to be a partner. He was happy about it, but they remained at arm’s length for several years till she graduated; with top honors, of course, she is a genius and earned it. He proposed on the podium and they received a standing ovation. A week later they were in Hawaii on honeymoon. Returning to Penn State, they announced they were accepted by the military to work in biology in DC. Both are Christians (which is always a good reason to not work at PU :) and both worked hard till she went into the sterilization chamber coming from the hot zone. She caught a whiff of bleach and hit the panic button before something in the suit caused her to collapse. Weeks in ICU with her husband taking a family leave so he could be near her. Today, they have a beautiful teenage daughter, but she’s too weak to have more children, something that is painful. They are retired and living in a community in West Virginia build by USAMRIID scientists. niio

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  5. It is crazy how the non Christians can’t make consistent ideas.

    They proclaim having sex and fun of any kind. Yet if you follow their teaching or comes back at you later.

    It is why I often say following Christian morals and ideas make sense to anyone, and the old way of people being like a Christian even of they may or may not have believed made sense.

    The people in the world are always trying to steal what others have and will use any means to get them.

    If you hang out with or sleep with immoral people don’t be shocked to find out they may come after you.

    I consider these things as a logical life reason among many others to be a Christian because you avoid so many bad people and situations

    Liked by 3 people

    1. If you can read the motivations of opposite sex people on the secular left, then it stops you from wasting time and money on them. If I can see that’s woman is just trying tk use me for validation or resources them I can keep my money in my pocket and retire early.

      Still, my main point in writingthe post is to say that I hope the feminists are ready for ordinary non-Christian men to opt out of relationships. Its just too risky to talk to women today, they’ve become very toxic and vindictive. Just keep away from them and stack your cash. Retire early and let them live with their cats and wine.

      Liked by 1 person

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