I have an ongoing disagreement with a female friend about how to restore marriage and family. We both agree on the harm that is done to children by the redefining marriage to remove the traditional marriage norms of exclusivity, permanence, heterosexual romance, etc. But she thinks that it’s better to approach men and get them to change, whereas I think it’s better to approach women and get them to change.
So, in a previous post, I argued that we should focus on telling women to stop choosing hot bad boys, and trying to get them to commit. I said this because I don’t think you can change the hot bad boys and make them commit. They want s3x, and that’s what they are getting when the normal women throw s3x at them. They don’t have to commit if they get what they want before committing.
But is there anything constructive to say to the normal men, who are not getting s3x thrown at them from many different women? Well, yes. There is something to say to them. Although they are not smashing up families, they are doing something wrong. They are giving attention to the wrong sort of women, for the wrong reasons.
Consider this article about the web site Only Fans, from Business Insider:
OnlyFans, the subscription-based adult-entertainment site, boomed during the pandemic.
Revenue at the UK-based company grew by 553% in the year to November 2020, and users spent £1.7 billion ($2.36 billion) on the site, a seven-fold increase, the Financial Times reported.
The site allows creators to sell video clips, photos, and messages directly to subscribers on a pay-per-view basis, with OnlyFans taking a 20% cut. Customers pay between $5 and $50 per month.
User numbers grew from 20 million before the pandemic to more than 120 million over 12 months, as adult entertainers and their customers signed up during lockdowns to share X-rated content.
Only Fans is a web site where the most impulsive and reckless women make easy money by showing off their bodies and performing s3xual activities for subscribers. It’s voluntary, not coerced. They want to get rich quick without having to care about doing well in school or getting a job. They aren’t interested in marriage, because they know that good men don’t marry women who make themselves available to millions of other men. They are not conservative. They don’t want men to lead them. They don’t read anything that makes them wiser or more noble. Men shouldn’t be paying women like this any money, or even giving them attention.
I want normal guys to give better women their time and money – preferably in a relationship, but at least in a friendship. Even if the majority of women are using their young and pretty years to try to land hot bad boys, there are always a minority of women who are busy with better things, like doing computer science degrees or reading Nancy Pearcey books. I think that the normal guys should be paying attention to them.
In fact, if I could just convince these normal guys to read more useful stuff, I’m sure they would realize that there is a lot more to a woman than youth and beauty. They would probably find the Only Fans girls pretty repulsive, once they realized how much different women can be if they are trained and prepared to commit to men and respect them. And by trained, I don’t mean “I’m a Christian, you can’t judge my past”. I mean bookshelves of good books, read and highlighted. I mean a public record of conservative Christian achievements.
If normal guys can’t find good young women to pay attention to, then they should try to make friends with older, wiser good women. That way, they won’t be lonely, they will learn something from the older more conservative women , and they will avoid making the wrong sort of women richer. I used to have a half-dozen older women advisors who would fill my head with wisdom chirped out in their cute girly voices whenever I wanted. Getting wisdom from conservative older Christian women is a lot better for me than throwing dollar bills at online strippers, who take your money, but have no interest in getting ready for marriage.
And if a younger woman came along who read good books, was conservative, and wanted marriage and children, you can start the marriage evaluation process. The important thing is to have the money to close the deal on a marriage if you find a real marriage candidate, which is why you don’t waste money on Only Fans women. Good women are the ones who trust you, respect your leadership, and achieve things when you lead and support them.
I don’t really care much about the Only Fans women, but I don’t think that getting attention and money for how you look is good for them in the long run. Women who get attention for stripping and doing s3x acts don’t learn anything that’s useful for them to be content in a stable marriage. They get used to seeing men at their worst, and they lose their ability to trust and bond with one guy. Giving them money to do something temporary that cannot be sustained as their looks fade isn’t good for them either. I don’t think it’s good for society long-term to have a bunch of shallow, immature women voting for bigger government and less liberty when they reach age 32 and can’t find good men to marry them.
Basically, what I would like is for men and women to get better at understanding moral character, religion and relationships, so they can choose quality relationship partners. And the best way to do that is what the Bible recommends – by renewing your mind. And how do you renew your mind? Well, you have to convince yourself that the world works a certain way. And how do you do that? By reading difficult challenging books that show you how to achieve the goals that are best for you, even if you have to sacrifice happiness in the short term. Men and women need to read better books.
I’m going to keep recommending to young people that they try to get out of the chaos of this generation by reading better books. Start with Philippians and John in the Bible. Then, I like “Is God Just a Human Invention?” by Sean McDowell and Jonathan Morrow, and “Total Truth” by Nancy Pearcey. Read some Thomas Sowell economics, and some military history. There is no shortcut to valuing good things, and making good decisions. You have to change your mind by keep out the culture’s junk, and putting in the good stuff.
WINTERY KNIGHT 
Women, stop wh*ring yourself on OnlyFans and elsewhere for money and attention.
Men, stop being pathetic simps and funding those women. You won’t get anything from them other than reduced self-esteem and an emptier wallet.
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The XX’s broke it, the XX’s need to fix it. Until then, real men should stay away from them and only consider the tiny percentage of XX’s who are pushing back against faux-men-ism as potential marriage material.
The Jezebels are in the pews now. Even women who consider themselves to be “conservative Christians” have been systematically infected by feminism at this point. There’s no point in having them break your heart, bear false witness against you, take half of your stuff, and transgender your children – all in the name of some teddy bear “jesus” who does not exist in reality or in the Bible.
Christian men should consider all women to be far more defective than Eve was after she bit the apple – until proven otherwise.
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OnlyFans is one of the cancers on human society right now. I would advise younger men to invest in a sex doll and video games before throwing their hard earned money at OF girls, at least then you actually get some type of satisfaction and hard, tangible goods. If you want to send money to OF girls you can also just take a stack of cash into the backyard and set it on fire, you will end up with the same thing: Nothing. Not only that but Aaron Clarey’s occasional sidekick, Chad Elkins, CPA has mentioned on numerous occasions that some of his clients are OF girls and that almost none of them have the ability to maintain a budget or save money. They earn and burn through thousands of dollars and then continue to whine about being broke.
Lets not also forget to mention that a lot of these ladies make more money than any man would, and wife-ing them up will likely result in a very unhappy woman who always wants more, more, more than her husbands paltry salary.
OF girls are trash. Never wife them up. Never give them a single cent of you hard earned money because they will never, ever appreciate it.
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Well said. And worse than not appreciating their “fans,” the women hold them in complete contempt.
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The only reason the guys should give money to women on OFs is if they want to throw gasoline on their dumpster fires.
Yes, this is meant as humor or sarcasm.
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It’s the new “pay for adult content”.
Back in the 90s and early 2000s the only way to view porn was to pay for it on xxx sites, share among friends, girly mags, or simply put up with 3 minute sample vids.
Then came along xxx streaming sites, which is like adult youtube. People found you can get the content for free. Webcam chat has been around for years, some u get for free but most is behind a paywall.
What is there to compare watching someone perform live for u? You cant really “rub one out” at the stripclub, but u can at home paying girls to “dance” live online.
Ill agree that paying girls on sites like onlyfans is simply a complete waste of money, and girls’ respect for those men is proportional to the dollar value they keep spending.
Why buy the digital cow when u can get the milk for free. You’d have to be really sad and lonely to pay for online webcam sex.
When i was a single man i treated women like i was there just for their pleasure at the same time i was one of the few good men with a hot bad boy body, and i was on safari!
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Its not the webcam sex they are paying for. A lot of these guys just want the attention. I’ve seen them say that they make huge donations just to hear their idol speak their name and thank them. Let that sink in. Not for the sex….for the attention. I don’t know what’s more sad, a guy who won’t put in the time to make himself gain the attention of SOME woman out there or that women are so self absorbed they would rather whore themselves out to the masses, sucking up souls like a demon than dedicate themselves to the attention of one man. Its a crapshoot on both sides, but unfortunately most men have to WORK HARD to look good whereas women typically look good enough in their youth that they can garner attention, thus you have a weird attention economy. Men who get little to no attention paying out wads of cash for it while attention starved women, who will never get enough, taking cash to hand out scraps.
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I heard someone summarize a few points on all adult things like this. The women prey on a man’s desire to take care of a woman.
A man has to realize these women don’t respect them and will put on an act to get money out of them because the compassion of a man to take care of a woman he likes is an easy exploit.
We may call them a simp and laugh but they just need to learn that those women in any path such as of, before there was strip clubs and one day some new things comes along.
But even in real life women fake affection to guys pretending to care with a bf or vet engaged to a guy to get money out of them.
Caution is always good to have as there are women that exploit traits of men to get what they want. And in our current world you can’t assume all people are fundamentally good
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The only problem with your concept is that these men are so enamored by these succubi that there is no waking them up. The only thing you CAN do is call them simp and laugh at them because ridicule is the only tool strong enough to break the cognitive dissonance. Something has to rock their reality so hard that they take a moment to introspect, but the lure of the webcam girl is stronger even than gravity. They won’t learn anything until they are broken. This is a common “red pill” teaching: Men don’t see the trap they are in until something catastrophic occurs that causes them to crumble, then question, then seek, then grow.
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That’s the normal way, big j like to learn from books, not from my own mistakes!
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Smart men learn after a mistake, but wise men learn to avoid making mistakes.
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I agree with this wholeheartedly. Men should stop giving their time and money to OnlyFan models…at the same time…as per your disagreement with your female friend…even if men stopped giving their time and attention to OnlyFan models, I don’t think it would be the thing to fix traditional marriages. I don’t even think it would have the slightest impact on it.
Why? Because what’s the percentage of women who are OnlyFan models? Versus the percentage of women who have bought into the modern, secular mainstream ideology?
The OnlyFans, simping, and Men seeking alternatives to sex and companionship are all symptoms of the greater mainstream culture that’s simply catered to giving women everything they want and ask for…while neglecting the conditions and consequences of it.
I’d argue to your friend that Women have more power than they realize. If the hottest girls only went after the kind, respectful gentlemen of the world while the bad boys, thugs, and players could only get the unsightliest of women, most men would strive to be Gentlemen. Since the beginning of human existence, it seems Males greatest weakness is their desire for women and pleasing women, over pleasing God.
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Which comes first…..supply or demand? I argue that for needs, true needs, demand comes first. Oxygen. Food. Water. For wants, supply comes first. Is sex/desire/attention a want or a need? Such a gray area……..sex is often a strategy we use to meet our psychological needs and is not a need itself. If sex was need, celibacy would lead to death. It obviously doesn’t. However, some men believe sex is a need. For them, having no supply available would be helpful. Men who believe sex is a want (even a strong want) are able and willing to distract themselves, limiting demand.
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