Suzanne Venker on the decline of men and male roles

Fox News editorial from a woman who defends men.

Excerpt:

In November of last year, I wrote an article for Fox News called The War on Men (which I subsequently expanded to an eBook). To keep it pithy, in the piece I focused on one effect of this war: the lack of marriageable men. But there’s so much more to it. The truth is, men have become second-class citizens.

The most obvious proof is male bashing in the media. It is rampant and irrefutable. From sit-coms and commercials that portray dad as an idiot to biased news reports about the state of American men, males are pounced on left and right. And that’s just the beginning.

She talks about the problems that boys face in feminized schools, and also in university, and then explains some of the reasons why men are shying away from marriage:

When men become husbands and fathers, things get really bad. In family courts throughout America, men are routinely stripped of their rights and due process. The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) is easily used against them since its definition of violence is so broad that virtually any conflict between partners can be considered abuse.

“If a woman gets angry for any reason, she can simply accuse a man and men are just assumed guilty in our society,” notes Dr. Helen Smith, author of the new book, “Men on Strike.” This is particularly heinous since, as Smith adds, violence in domestic relations “is almost 50% from men and 50% from women.”

Shocked? If so, that’s in part because the media don’t believe men can be victims of domestic violence—so they don’t report it. They would rather feed off stories that paint women as victims. And in so doing, they’ve convinced America there’s a war on women.

Yet it is males who suffer in our society. From boyhood through adulthood, the White American Male must fight his way through a litany of taunts, assumptions and grievances about his very existence. His oppression is unlike anything American women have faced. Unlike women, however, men don’t organize and form groups when they’ve been persecuted. They just bow out of the game.

America needs to wake up. We have swung the pendulum too far in the other direction—from a man’s world to a woman’s world.

That’s not equality. That’s revenge.

It’s not just the American White Male who sees these problems. I am an American Brown Male, and I have the same problems.

Is she right that men and women commit domestic violence equally? That’s not what we are told in school and in the media, but let’s look at the studies and see.

Studies on domestic violence

Let’s see what’s happening with domestic violence rates in the UK.

Excerpt:

Data from Home Office statistical bulletins and the British Crime Survey show that men made up about 40% of domestic violence victims each year between 2004-05 and 2008-09, the last year for which figures are available. In 2006-07 men made up 43.4% of all those who had suffered partner abuse in the previous year, which rose to 45.5% in 2007-08 but fell to 37.7% in 2008-09.

Similar or slightly larger numbers of men were subjected to severe force in an incident with their partner, according to the same documents. The figure stood at 48.6% in 2006-07, 48.3% the next year and 37.5% in 2008-09, Home Office statistics show.

The 2008-09 bulletin states: “More than one in four women (28%) and around one in six men (16%) had experienced domestic abuse since the age of 16. These figures are equivalent to an estimated 4.5 million female victims of domestic abuse and 2.6 million male victims.”

In addition, “6% of women and 4% of men reported having experienced domestic abuse in the past year, equivalent to an estimated one million female victims of domestic abuse and 600,000 male victims”.

And the numbers from the government of Canada are the same.

Canada numbers:

An estimated 7% of women and 6% of men in a current or previous spousal relationship encountered spousal violence during the five years up to and including 2004, according to a comprehensive new report on family violence.

So it’s pretty even. Women are about as likely to commit violence as men are. And in lesbian relationships, the rate of domestic violence is extremely high, from 17% to 45%, depending on the study. I think in general, women are more violent when there is no man present, because they have more difficulty restraining their emotions and resolving disagreements with rational arguments instead of fist, feet and weapons.

You also see higher rates of violence by mothers against their own children, than with fathers. Mothers are more than twice as likely to abuse children as fathers. Biological fathers are programmed to protect children – it’s the stepfathers and live-in boyfriends who harm children. In fact, one of the roles of the father in the marriage is to restrain the woman’s outbursts and anger so that the children are not harmed, and to protect them from threats from outside the home, too.

The negative perception of men deters men from marrying

I am very conscious of the perception that women have of men these days. Instead of looking to men for leadership, the presumption is that our role is to entertain women. And not to make judgments or claims of knowledge. The worst part is that most women don’t know and don’t care about how men are perceived today. I think that is the worst problem for me with wanting to get married. I just don’t believe that there are any women out there who are really looking for a husband in the traditional sense of the word, and with the traditional male roles. The negative perception of men and the way that women prefer men who are non-judgmental, non-religious and ignorant are two major reasons why I personally am cold about marriage.

3 thoughts on “Suzanne Venker on the decline of men and male roles”

  1. But the negative perception of men by women and the way they prefer men who are non-judgmental, non-religious and ignorant are two major reasons why I personally am cold about marriage.

    Not necessarily. The attractive alpha male can command women with no ill effect, and religiosity & ignorance are not short-term attraction vectors at all. I know of women who only want to marry Christian men, but that’s because they’ve ridden the Sex Carousel and were thrown off once they hit 30+ in age. The reason is because now they want a beta provider, and a Good Christian Man might just do the trick.

    In any case, it’s not the most non-judgmental, most non-religious, and most ignorant man that they want…it is the most attractive man that can give them the tingling sexual sensation that they equate with “being in love”. What that basically comes down to is what Donal Graeme calls LAMPS.

    Aside from that, I sympathize with you WK. There just is no incentive to marriage, and the stakes are too high for men with the control going to wives because apparently men are all potential sexist, rapist, chauvinists. Single Christian men can’t even flee to the sanctuary of their churches because they’ve been grossly affected by Feminism as well and these faux-pastors outright demand men to “man up” and marry those sluts. It’s a sad state of affairs.

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    1. I think that eventually the LAMPS-attracted women talk to men, and when they do, they’d better not hear orthodox Christianity or conservative politics or traditional morality, because that kills the tingles. They don’t want to be led, they don’t want boundaries, they don’t want obligations. They don’t want the man to have a plan that will require them to have to do things that they don’t feel like doing. Note: I am talking about young, unmarried, feminist socialist women here. The majority of young, unmarried women who voted for Obama, who therefore support abortion, gay marriage, appeasing dictators and adding trillions to the debt.

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  2. Note: I am talking about young, unmarried, feminist socialist women here. The majority of young, unmarried women who voted for Obama, who therefore support abortion, gay marriage, appeasing dictators and adding trillions to the debt.

    True, but we can’t turn a blind eye on “conservative” feminists as well (think of Megyn Kelly from Fox News or all the conservative white-knights poo-pooing the Men on Strike book). The subtle-but-spurious demarcation of first-wave, second-wave, and third-wave feminism is something that’s being pushed by conservatives to make it seem like their fighting against “bad forms of feminism”, but that’s about as absurd as Christians fighting only against “bad forms of sin”.

    Even in protestant Evangelical churches there is always that cultural milieu of masculinity being ridiculed or irrationally feared; this notion that real men are to be emotional, soft, and effeminate and submitting (rather than serving) to their wives. Women demand that, then they get turned off when husbands actually follow through and look weak in front of them.

    I am sure you’re aware of this, but even on Mother’s Day, it’s all about honoring all women (even slutty single moms who “accidentally” had sex) while on Father’s Day, men are berated and told they need to do better. The formula is the same: find verses that extol the virtues of women, and find verses that tell men that they are sinful, disgusting creatures that need to be kept on leashes (and don’t they dare ask for sex from their own wives).

    Keep in mind that these are from conservative evangelical churches. These same churches that denounce same-sex marriage, which isn’t destroying society on a scale as wide as feminism, and other moral ills such as abortion.

    Feminism is an equal-opportunity employer, and it has regiments on all sides of the socio-political spectrum. To focus only on the liberal loud-mouths would be like saying that the cancerous growth on the Left side of my body is much worse than the growth on the Right side, and then only focus on the left side.

    they’d better not hear orthodox Christianity or conservative politics or traditional morality, because that kills the tingles.

    Well unless they’re conservative women like the talking heads on Fox News, in which the second point won’t completely render them tingle-free…but yes, if you start talking about Ephesians 5 and related passages…hoo boy…

    They don’t want to be led,…

    Actually yes, they do want to be led. When they act out like children, that’s basically a fitness test. Even the silly little liberal feminist desires to be dominated by a man stronger than her and is down with following the alpha male that won’t take her garbage. It’s just that men on a large-scale didn’t pass the Fitness Test–they supplicated and put women on a pedestal which on one hand women like, but on the other revile those poor duped beta men.

    But anyways, I think I’ve typed up a whole lot already. :S

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