What should we do to encourage men to marry?

Marriage and family
Marriage and family

Dina tweeted two articles in a row about a new book that describes some of the reasons that men aren’t marrying. I thought that since she tweeted two of them, that I had better blog on them. I think there are some good ideas in here about why men are not marrying as much as they used to.

The first article is from the UK Daily Mail, and it talks about how men are mocked in the popular culture.

It says:

Our universities and further education institutions are dominated by women at a proportion of ten to every seven men, with the Royal Veterinary College formally identifying boys as an under-represented group.

Across the Russell Group of Britain’s leading 20 universities, just three have a majority of male students.

This means your son will be more likely to join the ranks of the unemployed, the majority of whom are now — yes, you’ve guessed it — men.

The Office of National Statistics noted that in the summer of 2014 a total of 1,147,511 British men were out of work, compared with 887,892 women.

Psychologically, your son will be more likely to suffer from depression and attempt suicide than his sibling, but there’ll be less support in place to save him.

He’s also more likely to endure everyday violence than women, with the latest crime statistics for England and Wales noting that two-thirds of homicide victims were men.

[…]By the time your son is 18, he will probably have absorbed the social message that his dad is much less valuable as a parent than his mother — that fathers in families are an added bonus, not a crucial cog.

Then, if he starts his own family and his relationship doesn’t last, he may become one of the four million UK men who have no access to their children, yet are forced to fund them.

This part below about health care for men was interesting – how well do men do in a big-government health care system?

Not well:

To cap it all, he’ll be progressively neglected by British healthcare despite being more likely to get — and die from — nine out of the top ten killer diseases. You know, the biggies: these include cancer, heart conditions, strokes, pneumonia, diabetes and cirrhosis of the liver.

Fifteen years ago the UK Men’s Health Forum showed that, for every £1 spent on men’s health, £8 was spent on women’s. Since then little has changed, for no good reason. Or rather, one very bad reason: we live in a medical matriarchy. In other words, male life is cheap. Bargain basement, last-day-of-the-sale cheap.

The ultimate insult? It’s all done at our expense. The National Health Service is funded by the public purse, but it’s men — yes, men — who pay a whopping 70 per cent of UK income tax. Yet we are thrown nothing but crumbs in return.

Currently, women are screened for breast cancer, ovarian and cervical cancer. This is great, but excuse me if I don’t jump for joy. There’s still no screening programme for prostate cancer, even though it kills four times more men than cervical cancer does women.

And while we’re on the subject of statistics, we men will die five years earlier than our wives, sisters, daughters and girlfriends in a life expectancy gap that’s increased 400 per cent since 1920.

Regarding government-run health care in the UK, this is the same as in other government-run systems. In America, men do much better because the health care system is slightly less controlled by government.

Look:

Americans have better survival rates than Europeans for common cancers.[1]  Breast cancer mortality is 52 percent higher in Germany than in the United States, and 88 percent higher in the United Kingdom.  Prostate cancer mortality is 604 percent higher in the U.K. and 457 percent higher in Norway.  The mortality rate for colorectal cancer among British men and women is about 40 percent higher.

Americans have lower cancer mortality rates than Canadians.[2]  Breast cancer mortality is 9 percent higher, prostate cancer is 184 percent higher and colon cancer mortality among men is about 10 percent higher than in the United States.

I was wondering if he was going to say something about divorce and child custody in his article, but he left that for his second article, also tweeted by Dina.

He writes:

‘Ultimately, men know there’s a good chance they’ll lose their friends, their respect, their space, their sex life, their money and — if it all goes wrong — their family,’ says Dr Helen Smith, author of Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood And The American Dream.

‘They don’t want to enter into a legal contract with someone who could effectively take half their savings, pension and property when the honeymoon period is over.

‘Men aren’t wimping out by staying unmarried or being commitment phobes. They’re being smart.’

[…]It wasn’t always this way. In the 1800s, men typically got custody of the children in the event of a split — not as a result of privilege, but because they were solely financially responsible for them.

They got the children, but they also got the bill. Benefits Britain didn’t exist, encouraging single mums to go it alone.

Now, 200 years on, women get the children, but men still get the bill. Sometimes, men even pay for children who aren’t theirs.

The Child Support Agency has 500 cases of paternity fraud a year, where a mother names a man as the biological father of her child, even when she has a good idea he isn’t. And that’s just the cases we know about. According to a YouGov study, 1.2 million men doubt they are the fathers of their partners’ children.

[…][N]o British woman has been convicted of paternity fraud.

And finally, the well-known sex-withholding problem:

Think your wedding day will be the happiest day of your life, chaps? You may need to think again. The quantity — and quality — of sex dwindles after marriage, say researchers.

A recent survey of 3,000 couples found those who had sex four times a week before their wedding did the deed just once a week afterwards.

The value proposition of marriage to men has certainly changed over time, and men are responding to the changing incentives.

One of my co-workers who has no trouble attracting talented, attractive women to live with him asked me to name one reason why he – as an atheist – ought to get married. I could not think of one. The risks are just too high, and in my experience, women (not Dina, obviously), generally don’t understand the problem, nor are they sympathetic with the needs of men.

8 thoughts on “What should we do to encourage men to marry?”

  1. You mean Britain found out they can’t treat men as shit, then wonder why they don’t wantt to marry the people that treat them as shit?

    Astonishing….

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    1. I can’t believe that you can elect a leftist feminist Labour Party government that features Harriet Harman and Lynne Featherstone and let them run things for two decades, and then suddenly men are not only unwilling, but now unable to marry. Who could have imagined that normalizing, subsidizing and celebrating single motherhood on the backs of male workers would cause the marriage rate to decline? Don’t men like being seen as idiots or even criminals? Don’t they like that the government thinks that men are unnecessary for children? Don’t they like paying half their income or more in taxes? Don’t men like being thrown in fail if they defend their homes from criminals (since that is the job of unarmed police who show up 30 minutes after the perp has killed everyone in the home)?

      I just can’t see why men would turn away from marriage. After all, I’m pretty sure that men don’t get married in order to be respected as providers, empowered to be protectors, and relied on to lead the family on moral and spiritual issues in a way that conflicts with what the secular feminist state teaches.

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      1. Being in the US I am unfamiliar with the politicians you named.

        I don’t suppose that some men don’t want to marry is a problem for any except the most controlling types, really.

        I think that means women to a large degree, haha.

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        1. I don’t think people realize that the main reason men marry is to get leadership of a family where they are respected, and not interfered with from a secular leftist feminist government that they are forced to fund, which undermines them at every turn by diminishing their sphere of influence and usurping their leadership role.

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  2. “He’s also more likely to endure everyday violence than women, with the latest crime statistics for England and Wales noting that two-thirds of homicide victims were men.”

    And this is why gun rights advocates know that disarming a population doesn’t work. The guns are illegal yet crime and homicide still happen. I won’t go off on a pro-gun tangent though. It’s more or less not being allowed to defend oneself. It’s far easier to die from violence than live and face prosecution (of judicial or social).

    It really makes me angry that just because I’m a white Christian American male I owe somebody an apology, and if I take any sort of pride in who I am I can be sure of somebody else labeling me as some adjective of intolerance.

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    1. The UK is completely anti-gun – they do not want nice criminals having to deal with armed men defending their homes. Handguns were banned in 1997, and, as you might expect, violent crime doubled in the next eight years. It’s a completely feminized welfare state big government country.

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      1. When I heard about returning vets relinquishing their sidearms I immediately felt emasculated for them. In a country that still fights like gentlemen I’m surprised they’d suffer such a dishonourable notion.

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  3. well in terms of prostate cancer screening, the guys i know whether they are friends are family members don’t like the idea of someone near that area, it has to do with the whole homo-thing.

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