Here’s a good article that answers the question.
Excerpt:
Francis of Assisi is said to have said, “Preach the gospel at all times; when necessary, use words.”
This saying is carted out whenever someone wants to suggest that Christians talk about the gospel too much, and live the gospel too little. Fair enough—that can be a problem. Much of the rhetorical power of the quotation comes from the assumption that Francis not only said it but lived it.
The problem is that he did not say it. Nor did he live it. And those two contra-facts tell us something about the spirit of our age.
Let’s commit a little history (let me un-humbly draw on some chapters from my biography of St. Francis).
First, no biography written within the first 200 years of his death contains the saying. It’s not likely that a pithy quote like this would have been missed by his earliest disciples.
Second, in his day, Francis was known as much for his preaching as for his lifestyle.
He began preaching early in his ministry, first in the Assisi church of Saint George, in which he had gone to school as a child, and later in the cathedral of Saint Rufinus. He usually preached on Sundays, spending Saturday evenings devoted to prayer and meditation reflecting on what he would say to the people the next day.
[…]Another early biography talked about how his preaching was received: “His words were neither hollow nor ridiculous, but filled with the power of the Holy Spirit, penetrating the marrow of the heart, so that listeners were turned to great amazement.”
As a result, he quickly gained followers, and it wasn’t long before he told his most devoted adherents to preach as well.
The article goes on to explain where this trend of not preaching using words comes from, and whether it matches the example of Jesus in the New Testament writings. Here’s a Bible passage that seems to rule out the idea that the gospel can be “preached” without “words”.
14 How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how will they hear without a preacher?
15 How will they preach unless they are sent? Just as it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news of good things!”
Christianity is a worldview, and as a worldview, it is committed to certain propositions being true. You can’t communicate the truth of claims like “Jesus rose from the dead” by being nice to someone. You have to appeal to historical evidence.
WINTERY KNIGHT 
Thank you for this. I always thought that Assisi quote was quite ridiculous. I also have read a number of bio’s and never came across the PC quote that we hear so often. Francis is one of these characters who has been remade in the image of the 60’s flower child.
Another alleged quote used just as much is this rather irritating one attributed to Gandhi: “I like your Christ. I dislike your Christians”. Rather an obnoxious insult IMO. I think that this paraphrase is fairly on-target (from ‘Snopes.com)….
……..”looked at objectively I would say that the larger message of those writings was: ‘ “I reject most of what Christ said and only agree Christ’s teachings that support the point of view that I already had been espousing before I ever read any of Christ’s teachings” and (paraphrasing) “All major religions of the world are equal. There is one God and all major religions lead toward him. Religion is a personal matter and should not be given to proselytizing.”
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Thank you for this posting, WK. This has come up in conversations with Christians who lean post-modern. Many of these types believe that just being nice to others (which we should do, of course) is something that “God can use for His Glory.” Sometimes, they even extend it to an actual participation in the unbeliever’s sin. But, it seems to me to possibly be a cowardly philosophy which really means “if I am nice to others and don’t offend them by talking about the Gospel, then they will like me.”
I also hear the phrases “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” and “you are the only Bible some people will ever get to read.” While both of these sayings certainly contain some truth, I’m not sure that they don’t invoke compromise of the Man Who is Truth. As for the Bible, the more I read it, the more I approach it in fear and trembling: I know by now that my deepest darkest sins are about to be revealed as soon as I open it. Thus, if I am the only Bible they are going to read, perhaps it is OK if they learn to approach me with fear. It certainly seems to be working out that way. :-)
If I am off-base on this, I pray to be rebuked.
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My husband and I were just talking yesterday about the oft-repeated phrase “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” We were listening to the radio and a song came on with those words. While it may be true of some people when it comes to Christianity, it isn’t true across the board. There are millions of decisions that we humans make every day where we care far more about the knowledge of those advising us than their personal feelings toward us.
For example, I really don’t care so much whether someone cares about me personally when advising me about my health. What I want to know is that they have a legitimate medical degree and know what they’re talking about. When deciding whether to take an umbrella with me, I don’t worry about whether the weather-man cares about me as a person. I care more about his knowledge of weather. When electing a government representative, I don’t care if he knows and likes me personally. I care whether he can do the job properly or not. When I read a warning label on a cigarette package, I don’t care if the person writing the label cares about me and wants to help me. I want to know if it is objectively true that cigarettes are hazardous to my health. I want to know how much knowledge a person has, not about their feelings, in these cases and many others.
It’s only in subjective matters that I care about whether or not someone knows me before giving their opinion.
The trouble with the approach of thinking you must show someone you care first, before they will listen to you about Christianity, is that it relegates Christianity to just a personal opinion or lifestyle choice. If Christianity was just a subjective thing, like choosing a favorite ice cream flavor, then it would make sense that people wouldn’t care about your opinion until you matter in their life and have shown that you care about them. But Christianity isn’t subjective. It isn’t just an opinion or favorite flavor of religion. It’s objectively true for everyone. In that light, people SHOULD care more what you know about Christianity, just as they would for topics like science, medicine, law, or economics.
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This is well said by Lindsay. Of course, a Christian should show care and compassion – that’s a given and it’s the fruit that naturally flows from a renewed heart and mind in Christ. But those qualities cannot, on their own, demonstrate the truth of a belief system. They can lend support, but the lack of any subjective outward effect in an individual does not disprove the truth of a religion or worldview.
If there are officially endorsed practices that define the worldview and that are clearly evil, such as, say, jihad or cannibalism for example, then that could be strong evidence for the falsity of the belief system. But individual faults may only represent the fact that someone has a long way to grow as they gain sanctification and more complete knowledge. The outworking or end of the particular faith is what we should focus on. And it’s not hard to compare faiths that way and make an evaluative judgement of what the end or type of behaviour results from a truly devout Muslim, Naturalist, Buddhist, or Christian.
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Wow – that is a very insightful analysis by you and Doug – very helpful to me! Thank you so much, Lindsay, and God Bless you both!
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don’t think so. But you can open bridges to the Gospel without saying a word.
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I think the point behind the thought is “Character” (the third quality of an ambassador in Stand to Reason’s Ambassador Model. If you daily walk before others is not reflecting a Christ-like attitude, the words of your mouth will most likely fall on deaf ears.
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In Chapter XVII of his Rule of 1221, Francis told the friars not to preach unless they had received the proper permission to do so. Then he added, “Let all the brothers, however, preach by their deeds.” Perhaps the “use words when necessary” just happened to pop up and people liked it and started using it?
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