Scrappleface reports that Obama’s Cairo speech has worked!

“I suppose I’ve been a bit unreasonable, testy, even dictatorial at times,” said the contrite Iranian leader. “After that speech, I feel like my eyes have been opened. How could I have missed all of the common ground we share with America and Israel. I’m going to have Barack over to the house, and let him know that Iran’s nuclear ambitions can take a back seat to our desire for true brotherhood and unity. And boy, do I ever owe those Jews a big apology?”

According to Press Secretary Gibbs, Obama plans a similar speech… for atheists:

“Most peace-loving atheists want nothing more than to be left alone to pursue sensory stimulus, pass along their DNA, and then to allow their carbon molecules to reunite with the soil,” said Gibbs, “but instead they bear the reproach of those who blame them for the actions of Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot and George Soros.

…Like most Americans, atheists want safety for their offspring, those charming little vessels of genetic code,” said Gibbs. “They want the right to elect representatives who will make laws guaranteeing survival of the fittest. They want freedom to speak whatever ideas the electro-chemical reactions in their brains happen to produce….”

Steven Crowder meets Alfonzo Rachel, and they explain what Republicans are really like. (H/T 4Simpsons, Hot Air)

Oh, I know I’m just like those two! Well, I look more like Zo than Crowder.

Here are some of Ronald Reagan’s best lines: (H/T Club For Growth)

Barney Frank’s fascist tendencies are showing: (H/T Michelle Malkin)

You can also read some of the wise Latina’s writings. (H/T Muddling Towards Maturity)

LifeNews reports on her interview with Senator Demint:

“When I asked if an unborn child has any rights whatsoever, I was surprised that she said she had never thought about it,” he said. “This is not just a question about abortion, but about respect due to human life at all stages — and I hope this is cleared up in her hearings.”

Happy Friday!