Category Archives: Humor

Friday night funny: Obama’s plan to undo waterboarding damage

I have a double feature for this week’s Friday Night Funny.

First, Scott Ott writes about Obama’s new interrogation policy for terrorists. (H/T Scrappleface)

Excerpt:

Although aggressive interrogation techniques on three terrorists produced intel that likely prevented major attacks on American cities, most experts agree that there’s no way to know whether less vigorous methods might have produced the same results.

“In hindsight,” the president said, “it might have been better to gain the trust of men like Khalid Sheik Mohammed by speaking gently with them, and offering small gifts like Pop-Tarts, or Nair.”

Next, Frank J. Fleming writes about Obama’s plan to fix the national security mess, (7 years free of terrorist attacks), of the Bush administration.

Excerpt:

“We were shocked when we learned the full extent of the inappropriate techniques approved by the CIA under the previous administration,” White House press secretary Robert L. Gibbs told reporters. “That’s one of the reasons we made the memos public. We want everyone to know what was done, supposedly in our name, and that this administration does not condone such actions.”

The president plans to go even further, Gibbs said.

“It would be unconscionable for this administration to look the other way, just because those tactics achieved results. It was wrong to use them, and we should not benefit from their use,” Gibbs stated. “The president had directed that, since those tactics obtained information that prevented a major attack on Los Angeles, it is only right that we carry out the attack on ourselves.”

Did you miss last week’s Friday Night Funny: Media not sure how to cover Obama’s crime spree.

Happy Friday!

Friday night funny: Media not sure how to cover Obama’s crime spree

From the Onion, a perfect article to culminate the week’s events.

Excerpt:

WASHINGTON—More than a week after President Barack Obama’s cold-blooded killing of a local couple, members of the American news media admitted Tuesday that they were still trying to find the best angle for covering the gruesome crime.

“I know there’s a story in there somewhere,” said Newsweek editor Jon Meacham, referring to Obama’s home invasion and execution-style slaying of Jeff and Sue Finowicz on Apr. 8. “Right now though, it’s probably best to just sit back and wait for more information to come in. After all, the only thing we know for sure is that our president senselessly murdered two unsuspecting Americans without emotion or hesitation.”

This is a must-read, folks! Ow, my cheeks are hurting.

UPDATE: One my Canadian friends and I were talking about upcoming debates just now and he was wondering why I can post so much. It made me think of my only other humor post, on why women and Christian apologetics don’t mix. If you have dreams of heroic combat with non-Christians, anywhere, at anytime, then you had better forget about courtship, romance, love and marriage.

On the other hand, I do have a fantastic article coming out about the one exception to this rule that I know of. The article is done, and it is scheduled to come out on Sunday at 5 AM EST. Do not miss this article!