This is the latest data from the American Community Survey data from the Census Bureau.
Over the last few decades, feminists thought that they could redefine many of the core aspects of marriage, and that men would still continue to marry. But the truth is that marriage used to be a pretty fair deal for men, now it just isn’t under the new rules.
- Being the legally and socially recognized head of the household.
- An expectation of regular sex.
- Legal rights to children.
- Lifetime commitment.
- That you are guaranteed a chaste bride on your wedding night.
Feminism has destroyed all of these facets of marriage. Feminists want marriage to be all about them, and their needs. And they don’t want marriage to put any responsibilities, expectations or obligations on them.
I am pro-marriage, but for me pro-marriage means rolling back the feminist redefinitions of marriage. That’s the only way to get men to be interested in marriage. Today, men are responding to the anti-marriage incentives created by feminists. Feminists offered men free sex without commitment, and they made marriage into a dangerous legal deathtrap. Men aren’t going to take risks like that. Especially when they have lost the authority to lead the home, and the other benefits of marriage for men. It’s a lot of risk, without any of the benefits. It’s a bad deal.
But it’s not just the legal risks, it’s the fact that men can’t afford marriage in a socialist country. Socialism requires higher taxes, and that leaves men with too little to take on the husband and father roles.
When you look at marriage rates in Canada and Europe, you understand that men are even LESS likely to choose marriage when they have to pay over 50% of what they earn in taxes. And so the marriage rate is declining. I think young, unmarried women are excited by the idea of raising taxes in order to get free stuff from government. That makes it unnecessary to marry at all, so they are free to play the field and obey no man. But there comes a point where taxes are so high that men simply can’t affort to take on a wife and multiple children. We are at that point now, and I expect it to spread up to the higher income brackets so that the marriage rate declines even further.
One final reason for men not marrying is because men don’t like secular leftist women. Young people are sliding to the left, and those values and beliefs are UNATTRACTIVE to marriage-minded men. Just because a secular leftist woman is able to get attention and sex from men, it doesn’t mean that she is able to get a lifelong commitment to love her, protect her, provide for her, and so on. No one likes secualr leftist women, and no one wants to marry them.
WINTERY KNIGHT 
Yes. It used to be women actually offered some good things in a marriage. Now it’s other men’s kids, tens of thousands of dollars in debt, inability to pair bond, incurable STDs, and a quickness to divorce for no good reason among other things.
Men respond to incentives. There is no incentive to marry anymore, not if the guy in question thinks with his big head.
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You can’t even talk about what men want anymore.
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And the church is just as bad as the rest of society for the most part on this too. Men aren’t even human beings to them, just walking ATMs, cannon fodder and pack mules. Of course, THE WORD neither says or implies any such thing. Pastors are so married to the false doctrines of marriage mandates and familyolitry they cannot even see anything else. Where The Word doesn’t make a big deal of something, neither should the church.
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“Over the last few decades, feminists thought that they could redefine many of the core aspects of marriage, and that men would still continue to marry.”
There are two different sorts of Feminists, the ones who openly intend to smash the patriarchy of traditional father led families, and their useful dupes who think they’re making traditional families more equitable.
Our side is also full of naïve dupes who refuse to admit that smashing God’s holy patriarchal family structure within our society is one of the top publicly stated goals of Feminist leaders. Satan and his Feminists’ plan is working as planned. Marriage rates falling, and the increasing percentage of bastard children without fathering, is cause for celebration among Feminist leaders.
Don’t be one of the colossal fools who is still laughing that the Feminists’ plan isn’t working, because they’ve torn apart marriages, families, and our society instead of fixing God’s holy patriarchy. Don’t be that fool!
Do I need to buy somebody a “Smash the Patriarchy” coffee mug, so they can wake up and smell the coffee?
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Interesting how you think marriage worked in the past several centuries and was “fair” for men as well as women and expected women to continue to marry with those set of rules. You’re actually surprised we weren’t happy living in complete submission to a man in order to have shelter and food? Seriously. Examine your definition of the word “fair”.
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Well part of being a man is being data-driven, rather than emotion-driven. All the recent surveys on women’s happiness show that women are far less happy now than before.
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/is_there_a_happiness_gender_gap
Facts matter.
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Since LP won’t have an honest reply, let me posit one for her, “What is facts?”
Your facts, nor any powers on earth, will ever move her feelz from what she stated about previous times. Even though she probably thinks we each have our own facts, her facts are truer to her.
Even if you could show the basis for your insight as biblical, she either would say the Bible is wrong or you are not understanding it correctly, probably because of Trump.
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You know, a good atheist friend and I had this conversation. I will admit his bias: he doesn’t want to get married, and sees many avenues of personal enrichment that don’t involve getting married / having kids. Maybe too much so, he abhors the “get married, pop out kids, live in suburbia dream” that many people have.
I have noticed not only from the latest survey but elsewhere, it is being discussed.
It’s a many-headed hydra AND we Christians can’t be ostriches and pretend it doesn’t affect us. The marriage rate even with Christians in the United States is declining over the last 15 years.
* like my friend above, many people see that there are many avenues of personal enrichment and “self-fulfillment” AND FURTHERMORE, unfortunately, size up romantic prospects like “Is he/she more interesting than horse-riding / backpacking / etc.?”
Sure, playing video games might stimulate your brain and are pretty enjoyable, but most people aren’t more likely to get married playing video games. So comparing one’s other hobbies with how interesting a certain possible partner is … well … not very useful.
I remember one Dr. Phil episode where a bunch of women in their mid-30’s declared they were very independent, had lots of great hobbies and thus were interesting, had good paying jobs, etc. — but where were the MEN?! Dr. Phil asked them what they did with their free time — they packed their schedules full with their hobbies. Dr. Phil, a bit exasperated, declared that men had no chance of even breaking into their schedules being so packed.
* I’ll stick this bulletpoint here: unfortunately “dating apps,” casual sex, and pornography are also negatively impacting marriage rates.
* modern marriage is a raw deal for men.
Getting away from Christians (i.e., Christians SHOULD NOT DO some of these things although they do) — non-Christians have other options like long-term cohabitation and de facto/common-law marriage. Why do they need a piece of paper to say they are married? They can have all the benefits (like casual sex, cohabitation, etc.) without actually being married.
Even when I was going to college in the early 90’s, we easily clarified: men aren’t afraid of commitment. Men are afraid of DIVORCE and the consequences of divorce. Yeah, stuff like alimony and visitation rights and so on. (The stories I read from divorced dads makes me sad. As you alluded to, men were basically sperm banks+ATMs, and in some cases, they didn’t even get opportunities to be a dad, a real father, to the kids. Some of their ex-wives saw them as disposable.) That’s another part of the burn.
One person I read put it, “Marriage is a vehicle for the rich.” Only the rich can afford opulent weddings (arguably we shouldn’t have ostentatious weddings just for the show), and the institution of marriage helps rich people the most (stability in their families, minor tax benefits, raising kids, compensation, salary and benefits, etc.)
* Indeed, we men don’t like Leftist Women.
In fact, there were certain buzz words/buzz phrases and certain attitudes that were automatic death knells/no-gos for me (feminism, especially third-wave/sexual revolution and subsequent incarnations was one of them). My general thinking about women who were feminists was, “You need therapy, you don’t need a husband.”
Furthermore, the attitudes and assumptions of Leftist women are certainly not attractive —
I understand the necessity of some social programs and support, especially for those who are incapable (physically, mentally, etc.), the common good such as for transportation and upkeep of interstate highways and railroads and airports and so on. I even see the need for other programs. However, I don’t believe the government is the most efficient way to do things and I don’t see too many checks and balances for bureaucracy (=inefficiency). My “test case” is usually:
If I had $200 to spend and/or give away to someone, do I:
1) want to decide how and to whom I give that money,
or
2) have someone else do it,
a) like the government,
b) or a non-profit organization of my choice, like the church or a local school
etc.?
Or put differently, shouldn’t I want my money to go towards causes that I believe in?
Some of my Left-leaning friends/coworkers have contended either 1) the government is most fair (with which I disagree) and/or 2) only the government, especially a Leftist government, is “strong” enough to stand up to corporations (with which I also disagree).
To 1: the Government is “most fair” — the government has its own agenda. We don’t have to go down that rabbit trail. The government, especially who is in charge, favors certain causes and not others (even legitimate ones and noble causes).
To 2: A Leftist government is strong enough to stand up to corporations … you know, Big Pharma and Big Data were two largest contributors in the month of October to the Leftist candidate despite that polls* (which were somehwat wrong) indicated that the Leftist candidate “had significant leads.”
Large corporations were the biggest donors to the Left — one cannot believe that the Leftist government would stand up to large corporations. They haven’t in the past.
* “no fault divorce” — unfortunately we (read: feminists) have made divorce too easy, too common. It’s problematic.
* I’ll be a bit controversial. I read this a bit before 2004 and Robert A. J. Gagnon and others raised the alarm, but countries like Denmark that went to Gender-Neutral Marriage saw a long-term decline in the marriage rate. (Immediately following the SJC of Massachusetts telling various parties not to discriminate based on orientation, my senior pastor also observed saw some articles and academians pontificate that this ruling was insufficient: what of non-binary couples, i.e., what of thruples or open-marriages or polyamory?)
Basically you devalue what marriage means — younger people growing up wonder whether marriage is an antiquated concept.
Men have alternatives,
Men now have a steady supply of cheap sex if they want (if they are attractive and/or have good jobs),
Taking away the father card and reducing men to ATM’s and sperm banks, well yeah, that would demotivate a lot of men.
Men can have nearly all the benefits without the downsides (just cohabitate “play house”).
(Don’t get me wrong, I still married my wife — I still believe as a Christian in selecting a worthy spouse for life and we did not cohabitate. She reminded me a couple weeks ago something like, “Oh yeah! It’s the ten year anniversary of my move-in date!” She moved in 2.5 months after we got married … like Thanksgiving weekend. I was still a bit apologetic, “Sorry … I have never lived with a woman so I had no idea what to expect …”)
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