Why are so many women with good careers being forced to freeze their eggs?

Is this woman choosing a path that leads to marriage?
Is this woman choosing a path that leads to marriage?

The New York Times says that more and more women are having to freeze their eggs because they can’t find good men to marry. The NYT doesn’t think that women are doing anything wrong. They blame the men for refusing to commit. According to feminism, women who value careers, abortion rights, no-fault divorce, big government, high taxes, etc. are doing everything right. But does it work?

I thought it might be a good idea to help Western women to make better decisions with men and marriage. Although setting out boundaries seems harsh and restrictive, it’s actually protective and loving. If we want women to get to a stable marriage and children, (what they really need long term, after they lose their looks and youth), then we should be bold about leading them.

The first thing to point out is that the women celebrated by the New  York Times are intentionally delaying marriage for their education and careers.

Another New York Times article explains:

It could be that the new generation of millennial women is delaying having children even longer than the women who came before them, as prime childbearing years are also critical years for advancing in a career. A recent study shows that the marital pay gap that springs up after a first child is born typically does not close if the birth happens between age 25 and 35.

Shannon Hettinger, a 32-year-old from Washington, D.C., said she definitely wanted children. She grew up in a large family in a small town in Pennsylvania and almost all her high school friends are married with children. But she moved to Washington, and spent her 20s deciding on a career. Now that she has one she loves — she works in residential real estate sales — she is not going to stop until she gets established. That means not having children for a while.

“I just want to build my book of business and see where I can go from here,” she said. “My whole focus is career growth. That’s my No. 1 priority.”

“Once I achieve a certain level of success,” she added, “then I’ll start thinking about a family.”

Ivy Gray-Klein, 26, who lives in Philadelphia and works at the University of Pennsylvania School of Design, said she was open to having children but cannot imagine doing so until she is 30 or 35. She wants to feel settled in her own life first. Now she has three roommates, is paying down her student loans and is working to build a little bit of savings.

“I’m just really trying to get myself to a place that is solid,” she said by phone. “Having a child right now would be so destabilizing. Children just seem like such an enormous financial undertaking.”

As far as I’m concerned, once a woman reaches 30 , she’s actually chosen not to marry, and not to have children. Marriage is something that men are willing to do with women in their early 20s. They want a woman to commit and invest herself in his life early. They don’t commit to a woman who has spent her 20s running up debts, traveling, being promiscuous, etc. The pattern of selfish behavior that  women get into damages their ability to be good wives and mothers later. And men know that.

But in this post, I’m discuss something that I think is responsible for women not finding good men: and that’s the fact that many women are not looking for good men. In fact, some women are very attracted to very bad men.

Here’s the first editorial about women and domestic terrorist Dzhokar Tsarnaev, one of the Boston marathon bombers.

Excerpt:

Mostly, though, they think Dzhokhar is cute. The Bambi eyes (looking right out of his Instagram-doctored photos at you!), the hipster facial stubble, the masses of wine-dark tousled hair — adorable! Impassioned believers have written “Dzhokhar is innocent” on their hands and plastered “Innocent until proven guilty!!!!” posters around their towns. An 18-year-old waitress interviewed by the New York Post vowed to have Dzhokhar’s last tweet before the bombing tattooed onto her arm: “If you have the knowledge and the inspiration all that’s left is to take action.”

[…]But the real cause of the Jahar craze more likely lies in something more primal and less pretty in the female psyche. I’m betting that women, young and old, are drawn to Dzhokhar not because he is a good-looking late adolescent but because he is a good-looking accused killer. He’s a classic “bad boy” of the sort to whom women are chronically attracted because they want to reform them, or minister to their wounds, or be the healing presence they’ve never had — but mostly because they find them sexy.

That article also noted:

It’s not surprising, then, that every homicide perp on death row who is reasonably attractive has groupies. Consider the handsome (and widely philandering) Scott Peterson, sentenced in 2005 for killing his wife and unborn son and throwing their remains into San Francisco Bay. The day he checked into San Quentin, he received three dozen phone calls from smitten women, including an 18-year-old who wanted to become the second Mrs. Peterson.

Some of the tweets and other fangirl comments about Tsarnaev were collected in this New York Post article.

Lots of Western women from the UK, France, Russia, etc. all picked up and moved to the Middle East to become ISIS jihadi brides.

Excerpt:

Western women joining Islamic State are increasingly from comfortable backgrounds and often well educated with romantic notions of adventure often quickly dispelled by the harshness of life as a “Jihadi bride”, according to a British research report.

Some 550 women from Western countries have left their homelands to join Islamic State, which has captured swathes of Syria and Iraq, said the report by the Institute for Strategic Dialogue and the International Centre for the Study of Radicalisation at King’s College, London.

[…]It said female recruits were increasingly younger, some from comfortable backgrounds and often well-educated, and were playing “crucial” propaganda and recruitment roles.

That article is three years old, the numbers have more than doubled since then. The most common reasons cited for leaving are romance and adventure.

Psychology Today has some comments about why some women do this:

In her post, “Women Who Love Serial Killers,” PT blogger, Katherine Ramsland, offers some suggestions about why some women can be so attracted to, or hopelessly beguiled by, the most terrifying of human predators. At first, she provides explanations from the women themselves, women who actually married these dangerously unhinged criminals. Their reasons (somewhat elaborated here) include the assumptions that:

  • their love can transform the convict: from cunning and cruel, to caring, concerned, and compassionate.

  • there’s a wounded child nested somewhere inside the killer that can be healed through a devoted nurturance that only they can provide.

  • they might share the killer’s media spotlight, and so triumphantly emerge from their anonymity, and maybe in the process even land a book or movie deal (an aspiration about as cynical as it is narcissisticand self-serving).

And this is even more interesting:

To simplify this work’s findings for my present purpose, however, let me begin by emphasizing that Ogas and Gaddam find substantial evidence from Web searches, posts, and many 1,000s of romance novels that women demonstrate a strong erotic preference for dominant men. Or toward what’s now commonly referred to as alpha males—in the authors’ words, men who are “strong, confident, [and] swaggering [as in “cocky,” and the pun is intended].” Unfortunately, what these descriptors often imply is behavior sufficiently bearish, self-centered, and insensitive as to often cross the line into a physical, mental, and emotional abuse that can be downright brutal.

[…]Moreover, in responding to the question as to whether some men, such as “serial killers, violent offenders, and rapists,” might be too dominant for women to accept, Ogas and Gaddam note: “It turns out that killing people is an effective way to elicit the attention of many women: virtually every serial killer, including Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, and David Berkowitz, have received love letters from large numbers of female fans” (p. 98).

Women choose good-looking bad boys, because they think that they can change them:

The fantasy that seems to be operating in such devotees, and that constitutes the plot of virtually all erotic/romantic novels written with women in mind, is that the “misogyny and jerkdom” they might have to battle with in such super-dominant males is only temporary. That it doesn’t really represent the man’s innermost reality. That his violence and lack of tender feelings is only the beginning of the story, and that their unsparing love, affection, and dedication can ultimately transform his character by helping him get in touch with his, well, “inner goo.”

I blogged before about feminists going after pro-choice bad boys like William Clinton, Peter Strzok, Eliot Spitzer, Anthony Weiner, John Edwards, Harvey Weinstein, etc. These men support selfish policies like abortion and no-fault divorce. Women seem to not understand that men who support selfishness as policy might actually BE selfish in their own lives. Men who are able to commit and raise children are not pro-abortion and pro-divorce. Those are the men who women should be pursuing, and during their early-to-mid 20s.

13 thoughts on “Why are so many women with good careers being forced to freeze their eggs?”

  1. Women can also forget that few boys grow up dreaming about having babies and holding them. Feeling as if the kids will complete their life.

    To far more guys it will be about having a partner they want to be with, and once they have that they will take on the role of a father

    But as proportional representation goes, more women would feel like they need to have kids than men. Many men if they don’t find the right women can move on. They could choose to mentor and do other roles and won’t feel they lost as much because they can pass on their knowledge and impact in other ways that are fulfilling.

    If women want a man to have children with them, become the kind of woman that makes a man feel comfortable and secure enough to take on that role. Otherwise a woman has to take the baby daddy she can get

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    1. Great comment. And yet just look at the kind of attitude that women have today, thanks to feminism. They choose bad boys, develop misandry from those experiences, and then have no interest in the leadership of good men. And there is nothing in the church or culture that can take them back in time to the point where women had a good understanding of what men like, apart from sex. We like women to take an interest in our dreams, and try to help us. We don’t like when women treat our dreams as distractions from their self-interest, and try to trick us out of our dreams with skin and recreational sex.

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  2. The pattern of selfish behavior that women get into damages their ability to be good wives and mothers later. And men know that.

    LOL Some of us didn’t, we got lied to in church about “recycled virgins”, and learned this the hardest possible way. Now we can just try to warn others not to listen to that foolishness.

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    1. I think it’s possible for a girl to come back from that, because I have married women friends who are heavily into apologetics as a ministry, and they despise feminism. I think if a woman changes her mind by READING about men and marriage and acts on what she learns to defend and protect men, then I would consider one. BUt they are so rare. Most women who smash themselves up chasing bad boys with recreational sex don’t blame themselves – they blame ALL men, including the good ones they passed over in their mispent youth.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. There is a primal urge in women to be attracted to a dangerous man. This is not a bad thing in itself. It’s part of our design. A dangerous man is a good protector. Women crave security. So we gravitate to a powerful, capable man. But a man who is powerful and dangerous is a poor choice unless he is also of good character. A truly good man is both manly and noble, powerful and controlled. As it was said of Aslan in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, he is not safe, but he is good.

    Unfortunately, our society is prosperous and decadent, and the men have largely been feminized. Good times tend to make weak men. They’ve never had to struggle against adversity. They don’t have to conquer. Finding a strong, dangerous man is difficult. Yet women are still attracted to this trait. A dangerous man who is also a man of noble character is even more rare. Thus, many women have to choose which is more important to them – a safe but weak man who will be a steady (if boring) partner, or a dangerous and exciting bad boy. The primal urge is toward the dangerous man, even if he is not a good man.

    Without principles to guide them, if they follow their passions, most women will pick the bad boy. That is, until they get burned enough times. Once they get hurt enough picking bad boys over and over, they finally figure out that they aren’t a good choice and settle for a beta who is safe. But they tend to have a hard time being happy with a weak man who lets them lead him around by the nose. They want and need to be led, and men who lead well are in very short supply.

    It is certainly true that part of the solution is to teach women to make wiser choices and not follow their passions. We need to teach them to see the potential for strength in a good man and then cultivate his leadership by following him rather than trying to tame a bad man. However, we also need more men who are good, but not safe. We need noble alphas. We need men who are both dangerous and of good character. We have to stop the feminizing influence on our young men so they can rise to be strong, dangerous men as they should be without developing bad character. And most of all, we need fathers to be there for their sons and train them because a man won’t become a good and manly man without a father’s influence to show him how it’s done.

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    1. Who is stronger, a childish terrorist with no money who lives with his parents, or an ordinary man with a computer science degree and savings?

      There is literally nothing noble in this trait of women. It’s a desire to choose bad men, and then turn them into good men, by using the magical power of vagina. It’s a deliberate choice to make decisions based on tingles and emotions, instead of being wise and practical. I know women who make decisions like this. They find people who agree with what they feel like doing, then they do it.

      There is literally nothing good in this method of choosing men. It should be responded to by society with disgust and derision. Instead it is praised, and when it doesn’t “work out”, the good men who were passed over by these women – the REAL strong men, with jobs, savings, chastity, sobriety and theology – are blamed for not “manning up” and making their reckless decision-making “work out”.

      We have raised taxes and expanded government to allow feral women to pursue sex with bad boys, which reduces the money (and liberty) that good men have available to marry even if they meet a good woman. The first step to restoring marriage will be to confront about their choice to use recreational sex to try to transform penniless male sluts into husbands. This is a MENTAL ILLNESS, and is the true root cause of the decline of marriage in our society.

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      1. You pointed it out many times with different articles….when there is no father or a weak father in the home…the daughters aren’t going to have any clue what a good man is supposed to be. Often all they’ll get is the men ruled by passions and since they are starving for a man…that’s who they go for.

        When a boy doesn’t have a father in his home…he’ll either be ruled by his passions and/or be ruled by a domineering mother who turns him into a defacto husband. Hence you get either the criminal bad boys or the weak men who think being ruled by women is the norm.

        It’s gets back to when a populace loves self over God and the breakup of the family…this is the chaos you get.

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  4. ‘I’m discuss something that I think is responsible for women not finding good men: and that’s the fact that many women are not looking for good men. In fact, some women are very attracted to very bad men.’

    What attracts them to ‘bad’ men is that these men are ruled by their passions and not right reason which often comes from living a fearing God/moral way of life. Hence these type of men produce the ‘tingles’…and they are easier to control (an immoral man has as many masters as he has vices). Now some women find out after the fornicating and fact that a man ruled by his passions can also be very abusive, objectifying, domineering, and controlling themselves.

    The man who follows God’s will understands things like self-sacrifice, humility, self-control…while these don’t produce the passionate tingles they will often show what love truly is about. Not in the feelings or emotions but in the act of will.

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    1. I mentored a brand new Christian who had had an abortion before becoming a Christian, and she flat out told me that women like men who can be controlled through premarital sex. Men who refuse premarital sex are usually also trying to lead the woman into marriage, which requires her to grow up. It makes perfect sense why the bad boys are deemed preferable.

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      1. There you go.

        I’d suggest the book Libido Dominandi by E Michael Jones. He premises it about the French Revolution but the overall point is how sexual revolution (unleashing ones own passions at the expense of reason) leads to tighter political control (domination and control of others through the government). One could even read it and see modern America or Europe.

        So it would make sense why these women would want both bad boys and more government control.

        Liked by 2 people

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