The meaning of that image above will become clear at the end of the post.
I found a YouTube video featuring a conversation about the fundamental problem that I see with young, unmarried women: their decision to have recreational premarital sex with hot guys throughout their teens and 20s.
Here is the conversation: (just listen to the first 7 minutes to start)
Note: this conversation contains vulgar language. Listener discretion is advised.
Molyneux gets her talking about the most important question that women who fail with men never want to answer: why did your mother choose this awful, awful man, to be your father out of all the other men in the world? At the end, she really has learned her lesson and gives a good warning to other young women at the crossroads.
Summary of key admissions:
- Caller: I’m a 41-year-old single white female who was a bad girl in my 20s. I was raised fatherless by a loving Christian mom. Question: what caused me to fail at life and be living with my (divorced) mother?
- I was gifted, very intellectual, top of the class
- My mom is a very caring person
- My mom approached my Dad when he was already in another relationship (i.e. – her mom was the woman her father cheated with on another woman, then her mom married this cheating man and he dumped the previous woman)
- My mom was very attractive, and could have chosen different men, but she was really attracted to this terrible man
- My mom had a desire to get away from her strict parents, who she resented
- when I was 15 I chose a man, I had recreational sex with him before marriage, and he stalked me and humiliated me
- I felt like an adult at age 15, and I had sex with this man then so that I could put childhood behind me and become an adult
- My mother counter-acted the absence of my Dad by raising me as a Christian – she was a radical, intense Christian and that hyper-religiosity made me not want to talk about sex with her
- My mom divorced my father because he was a jerk
- My mom did not mind that he had other children from past relationships, was underemployed, and was lazy
- I used to sneak out of my room and sit on the back porch and drink alcohol with the neighbor kids
- My mom was a worrier and a control freak, so I rebelled against her warnings and attempts to set boundaries on my wildness
- I and my 15-year-old recreational sex partner used a condom from my devout Christian mother’s drawer
- I had sex with 5 different boyfriends from age 15-18 and caught mono
- My mom had temporary boyfriends after the divorce
- In my 20s, “there wasn’t much to do except go out and drink”. “two to three times a week, me and my girlfriends would get dressed up, go to the clubs, and try to attract hot guys”.
- From 21-30, I stopped looking for relationships, I just hooked up with hot guys for one-night stands and FWBs
- I felt better about myself, more confident and in control when I would drink and have one-night stands with these hot guys
- “I don’t know why I was so focused on looks” in these guys
- The hooking up stopped at 30, then dating (with sex) resumed
- I realized that the hot guys I wanted were not going to settle down, especially with new younger women available
- From 15 to now, I’ve slept with 60 different men, sometimes repeatedly, and on and off
- I never admitted the true number of men I slept with to any of these men
- last relationship was 5 years ago (at age 36)
- I have lost interest in sex, and lost interest in men
- I don’t have the mental toughness to be in a relationship
- I have “been broken” by too many failed relationships
- nobody told me that my decisions with men were not going to go well
In the final 8 minutes where Stefan explains the larger consequences of women’s choices for civilization is very important, I think. I was surprised that he spoke directly to the “hot” alpha males that women want and told them that they are breaking women, and share the blame for destroying our civilization. The thing is, I don’t think those hot alpha males care about civilization, or anything except for themselves. So why do young women choose them?
If I had to pick one essential characteristic of young, unmarried women which ruins their lives, it is their inability to choose responsible men who are proven to be good at doing the things that men do as husbands and fathers. Young, unmarried women today are attracted to men who are LOUSY at the things that men do as husbands and fathers. Responsible men with strict morals and settled religion are not attractive to young, unmarried women. These women can’t connect their choices with men to the tasks that men actually perform in a married home. I am talking about non-Christian women AND Christian women. Nothing that women learn in church corrects this flaw. They are taught to believe that God speaks to them through their emotions, that they must follow their emotions, and everything they do that blows up in their faces is the fault of men. It’s never their responsibility.
Men’s rights activists say that this flaw is the root cause of the end of civilization, and I’m inclined to believe them. Saving women from this flaw is the number one task of fathers, and it is the number one thing that women must look for in a man they make babies with: FIND A MAN WHO CAN BREAK YOUR FUTURE DAUGHTER(S) OUT OF THIS DELUSION BEFORE THEY CHOOSE A BAD MAN. Strong men confront women and set boundaries to help women make better choices. Weak men blame the bad men that women freely choose and this does NOT help women make better choices. Women need to understand that men who speak to them directly, and tell them no, and set boundaries and try to push them to be serious about education and career and finances and marriage are NOT anti-woman. We are trying to protect you and strengthen you, by telling you to make good decisions, and be responsible.
WINTERY KNIGHT 
“…Women need to understand that men who speak to them directly, and tell them no, and set boundaries and try to push them to be serious about education and career and finances and marriage are NOT anti-woman. We are trying to protect you and strengthen you, by telling you to make good decisions, and be responsible.”
TRY to get the arrogant, pride-filled, narcissistic women of today’s society to publicly admit this. They would rather have civilization fall than EVER humble themselves and admit that they were wrong.
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Right now, we are in a phase where women can dismiss good men and indulge in drinking and hooking up with “hot guys”. This is only working because we have a massive welfare state with myriad social programs designed to redistribute wealth from those who make good decisions to those who don’t make good decisions.
In particular, government welfare programs are designed to replace husbands. They hand out all of this money, in order to help women who go after “hot guys” avoid the consequences of their choices.
However, we are at a $20 trillion debt now, and many of our cherished social programs are going bankrupt in the next 10-15 years. We are headed for Greece, and I am so ready for this to happen. When the money runs out, women will start telling their daughters what a good man is like, and why she must choose a good man. And then this long, sorry period of radical feminism and Disney princesses will end.
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the mother ran from.a strict upbringing, married someone is was already taken then became strict on her own daughter – there is a pattern here
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there is a reason these women choose these bad man. There is something they have that men who they are suppose to marry lack. if those men can have what the bad boys have then women will more than likely go more for those type of guys.
I know plenty of good guys but many of them are lacking something which just turns many women off. If you want more marriages especially christian one then both sides gotta do better to attract a spouse, it can’t be solely on a female to look attractive- men gotta look good too, not saying you gotta look like Chris Hemsworth but keep yourself fit and healthy. Have more confidence, build your game and kino
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Let’s pretend there are two guys.
guy A is a 25-year-old student who is handsome and confident, degree in psychology, no money, delivers pizzas part-time.
guy B is 35-year-old man who ears six figures, has 1 million net worth, and does not make a big deal about appearance and confidence.
Single women are attracted to guy A, because he is “hot”. This is not something guy B needs to adjust to. This is a mental illness in women, and one that taxpayers have to pay for with welfare programs, when she explodes her own life chasing these hot guys she is attracted to and never marrying men who are good at marriage.
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if the 35 year had confidence and cares about his appearance it would make him more attractive. Im sorry but as a female confidence makes a huge difference in attracting women as well as appearance. If i want to marry a man and do my duties as a wife especially talking about sex, he needs to care about his appearance. Sexual attraction plays a huge part and to ignore that is asinine.
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This is the point. The 35 year old does not marry a woman who thinks that appearance and confidence matters more than husband and father abilities. Fixation on appearance and bluster over resume and balance sheet is a mental illness. That would be like a man disdaining Heidi Cruz and Michelle Bachmann for hot, confident strippers. Anyone who thinks that you can assess another human being by how they look and how they present themselves stylishly is a sick insane individual.
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im not saying physical attractive matters more than husband and father abilities. What i am saying is why cant a man have both. you are ignoring physical as a key factor in a relationship. physical attraction is the first step in intimacy, unless you prefer your wife to starfish every time she has sex with you then work on your appearance. if physical attraction wasn’t a big deal then every man right now should be happy with a woman that is 200lbs because her appearance doesnt matter because she has good wife and mother abilities.
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It’s easier for me to fix weight than chastity, character, theology, career, finances!!!!!
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but should a potential spouse have both? i read complaints from men especially in the red pill about women not being attractive as well as not having good mother nor wife abilities. Its expected from women to be sexy for their men but also have the abilities of wife and mother but woman are expected to just want in a man just husband and father abilities without the physical and that is a double standard. both spouses should have parental and marriage abilities as well as be physical attraction for their spouse because sex is a factor in keeping a marriage together and you cant expect a woman to be attracted to a man who decides to look like jabba the hut. if men dont want their wife to look like a whale then why do they think women should just acceptance a mans lack of confidence and terrible appearance?
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I can fix whale! I can fix jabba the hut!
A woman needs to look past a man’s appearance to see the details about him that relate to his main responsibilities as a husband and father: protecting, providing and leading on moral and spiritual issues. She can fix things like his appearance. (“Give me that pay check, I’m getting you new clothes and a new haircut”) She can fix his confidence. These things are easy for a woman to fix. Fixing a man’s character is hard.
Women need to stop getting themselves into these predicaments with the wrong men and take responsibility. Priority 1 is not getting cheated on, not getting abandoned, not getting stuck with a lazy, unemployed man. Further down the list is appearance and confidence.
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that shouldn’t be something you need to fix. I should go into a marriage with a man of father and husband material and have to help him with his confidence and his appearance. How did he get a job if his appearance didnt matter? i really doubt jobs are just hiring sloppy dress people. Your health should be just as important as your career especially if you plan on having children, everything counts in a marriage and to ignore one is asking for disaster. You should read the alpha male blog and some red pill blogs as well
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What you are NOT saying, it anything about the personal qualities of the two candidates. You also don’t say anything about their spirituality. Just because a guy earns a million doesn’t mean he is a good husband. What do you see in candidate B, besides his money, that makes him a good husband?
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You’re missing the point of my comment. The point is that women today are getting drunk and having one night stands with hot guys for their self esteem, instead of looking at demonatrated marriage capabilities.
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Yes, I know. It’s because of feminism and the failure of parents to teach them sound morals.
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Sapphire,
My younger (non-Christian) brother is a bad boy. Last time we met up in the last month, he bragged to me how he had four sexual partners in a two month period and has a girlfriend (I can’t quite reconcile those two facts, but I don’t have to worry about it).
The bad boy is bad for you. He might be titillating and intriguing, but time and time again, he shows his true colors. My brother treats women like objects. He is late for meetings with women because he doesn’t care about the women.
If you think that this is “just a phase”: my brother is in his mid-40’s. He started to have recreational sex by the time he was 16. He’s still sleeping around. He has no plans to get married or to change his behavior. I’m sure many women have thought that they could settle him down if he thought they were “The One.” It has never been the case.
Sure, my brother has sent me many books on how not to be a “Good Guy” (read by many women as “doormat”) or how to be a Pick Up Artist. What’s interesting is that many pick up artists make realizations after many years of sleeping with many women that 1) sex is more fulfilling with a relationship (i.e., someone you care about and reciprocates this) and with commitment and 2) some have even turned to religion as sex will never fully fill the void in your heart.
People who are not sanctified will default to evolutionary biology: men will want young (fertile) women, women want rich and/or powerful men. The most “popular” (according to women) guy who was single in my church was a 6′ 3″ Ivy League graduate who was a portfolio manager (he had completed all three levels of the CFA exam by his late 20’s) — but those are far and few between. But what of his faith? While he was obviously intelligent, he was told off by the church several times for his Christmas parties. He and his roommates tended to promote drunkenness (e.g., booze luges, chugging of shots, etc.) He identified more with Progressive Protestantism and when he and I would chat about said matters, he didn’t have much of a biblical or scientific background (both of my strengths).
Yes, there are some things that good Christian men can learn:
+ do not be a doormat
+ be confident and develop confidence (develop solid social skills)
+ realize the woman is human and don’t idolize her or think she walks on water
+ don’t take crap from a woman if she dishes it
+ be assertive but be funny and be nice
+ know what you want and go after that (in a pleasant, nice, and funny manner)
+ it is good to be FRIENDS (and learn how to be friends) with many women and set appropriate boundaries. This allows a man to observe (more power to the discerning).
+ develop discernment
+ some women have ISSUES. It’s important to develop discernment to be able to identify issues. Issues range from control to daddy issues (e.g., absentee father, anger against father, etc.) to chronic depression to chronic low self-esteem to needing attention to various other issues.
If a woman has significant issues (and I knew which ones were deal-breakers for me), I would stay away.
I write these in past-tense as I am married. I worked a lot on my discernment in my 20’s and early 30’s. By the time I met my wife (who was a Cru president in college, ran the small groups/adult Sunday School ministry for her church, and has a doctorate degree in something STEM related), I didn’t go out on a ton of dates but the people that I dated were very solid. One was a former long-time singles ministry leader and servant, another was a Republican state representative who was at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government and a pastor’s kid.
I tended to hide any appearance of money: I didn’t want a woman who wanted me because of my wealth. I made a conscience effort to buy quality clothes that did not scream that about my socio-economic situation (i.e., no shiny shirts, no shiny ties). But this was part of the discernment for me — it’s not that I was scruffy or unkempt or un-athletic or whatever. My appearance was part of the design to figure out whether a woman was interested in getting to know me rather than for my money.
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While I agree with your premise that women make bad choices, the red pill is not the answer. The red pill is antithetical to Christianity. Jesus brings joy; he is not about subjugation and control which is what the red pill involves. Everything I’ve read from them is dark and doesn’t have anything positive to say about women at all. To them, women are more sinful than men, we need to be put under subjugation (different than submission) and controlled. +ome even advocate physical discipline of women who don’t obey. What they advocate are affection-less marriages. The love of Christ is FULL of affection. How many red pill men do you know that call their wives “my dove”? There is nothing wrong with positive emotions such as mercy, grace, kindness, compassion, loving affection, gentleness, all of which are mentioned in relation to God’s love. The red pillars think sex is love. I don’t see any JOY or AFFECTION in the red pill “theology”. The red pill advocates need to study agape love and see what it means, because that is what the word in Ephesians 5 for love is. Also, just as a last note–the woman shouldn’t be “fixing” anything on a man; the man who leads is supposed to mold the woman into a model of holiness and chastity.
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Im a virgin! Not everyone who understands the declining value proposition of women under the influence of marriage is a pick up artist. I’m saving my first kiss on the lips for if I get engaged. However, have not met the single woman who takes the Bible seriously yet.
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I’m glad you have chosen chastity. I’m not saying you are a PUA by any means. It sounds like you are serious, and yes, there is definitely nothing wrong at all with a man who can support a wife. I definitely think women are wrong to place so much emphasis on physical appearance. The thing I have against red pill is they see commitment alone as love, and their posts seem devoid of affection. A woman needs to feel special to her husband, that he values her. I am very much anti-feminist. And contrary to what some here have commented, a man should not be judged on appearance or physical attractiveness. One can choose to be attracted to someone if the person satisfies their other needs.
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If you listen to the conversation, just know that I’ve invested in two women like that, and they both went on to marry splendid Christian men. I also invest in leading young women to study STEM degrees. In the last 30 days I’ve had two girls get married to Christian engineers, one get a job, and another get an internship. These are all you women I mentored to build them up. I like women. But they can’t be blaming the bad men they freely choose for their problems.
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Give me a break!
At its base, the red pill is about men protecting themselves from women who treat men as disposable.
At its height, it’s about finding a woman with whom you can actually have a great relationship.
You can’t romantically love someone you don’t respect, and you can’t respect someone who is willing to trade up as soon as someone comes along that’s slightly better than you.
You can’t respect someone who’s ready to take half your stuff and destroy your relationship with your kids as soon as her feelings change (which is sometimes as frequent as the tides changing).
And you can’t have genuine love, affection, respect, and charity for someone who thinks their relationship with you is disposable at the drop of a hat.
ESPECIALLY as a Christian, men are well advised to keep their eyes open and make sacred marriage vows only with someone whose commitment to Christ and to those sacred vows matches their own.
The red pill isn’t about dominating women (although if you’re in the PUA community, it can be used to take advantage of them). It’s about freeing yourself from women who treat men as disposable.
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Looks should not be a qualification for marriage, as long as a guy has good character and is decent looking. People should make the best effort they can to give a good appearance, but I’ve seen guys in church that are not Brad Pitt and are sterling husbands. Chastity is good, spiritually is VERY important, but the way a man behaves with a woman is important too. The qualities of a good husband are protection, provision, spiritual leadership, agape love (commitment, affection and high esteem for the woman). On the part of the woman, sexual attraction and love is a choice she should make toward the right man.
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I agree with you but men have a role to protect and provide and that takes money. When the moral and spiritual leading takes money, the afford homeschooling mom, private Christian schools, apologetics books, and other practical necessities.
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All important, and all good. If a man can provide those and esteem and value his wife, he is a good catch indeed. If I were a young woman, I would see that as superior to a Brad Pitt any day.
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Excellent, now you just have to convince the other unmarried young women to pick marriage-capable men.
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I do my best. I am writing a book about biblical submission. I personally plan to remarry if the Lord wills after being married for many years to the wrong guy, who is now deceased. I absolutely believe that a woman can choose to be attracted to a man who gives her the proper care and affection, and that physical appearance should not be the utmost concern. I wrote a piece recently where I likened the man to Clark Kent. Clark is seen as unattractive because he isn’t romantic looking. However, beneath that exterior, he is a super man with all the strength, character and good qualities that Superman has. It’s character and quality that matter.
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Why did you marry the wrong guy?
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I was young, naive and given to serious depression. After having spent my high school years as a wallflower, I married the first man that came along and spent the next 38 years regretting it. I stayed with him at first because he was abusive and I was scared witless. After becoming a Christian, God took way the abuse and I stayed with him in hopes he would be saved. I have come to see though how vital it is that people make wise marriage choices based not on romantic love or physical attraction but on compatibility and spiritual strength.
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why cant you have both in a relationship physical attraction and spiratual, moral and good qualities? you are trying to deny the part that essentially biology plays in finding a spouse? There are reason we as human beings are attracted to physical appearances, we understand a lot of things about another person subconsciously..Why do you think men prefer young woman or that men prefer older men? there is a reason for that
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It can take time to fully rate true attractiveness of a person. I think to me this is a missing factor. It can’t be the impulsive look across the room idea from the movies that is used to select a mate. Finding that one destined by stars, many seem to act like that is true in choices.
Attractiveness takes time to understand. As you learn about someone and their nature a more plain person can become more beautiful and a shallow model will diminish in appearance. Once you select from a combined view along with other factors it will be more successful
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With the woman in the article……..today in church, as a devout Christian man now in his late forties; I am “shamed” by so many from the pulpit, in media, in books, in church culture, on blogs to “man up” and pursue, chase, guard her heart, and marry a woman like this.
You will rarely see a woman in a situation like this apologize. You will rarely see a woman change at this age, and have true Godly sorrow for the choices they made. You will rarely see a woman like this ask forgiveness, REPENT and turn away from her past. No, it’s more of the same……
*My dad wasn’t there (would you have listened even if he was?)
*My mother was controlling
*I couldn’t help who I fell for
*My choices I made were because of some deep psychological issue
*These hot guys made me have sex with them, but it wasn’t rape
The excuses go on…………
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What is interesting is what you hear from the man-blaming pastors like Mark Driscoll, Al Mohler, Russell Moore, etc. They cannot understand how the ideology of radical feminism causes women to drink and have sex as if they were men who did not have to worry about marriage and child-bearing. There is virtually no education of women about what men are supposed to be selected for. Instead, Christian women are just taught the Disney message of “follow your heart”. They have an unshakeable faith that they will be able to convert the hot guy they are attracted to who has already had sex with dozens of women to settle down and become faithful and a good provider through the magical power of their vaginas. They go into these cycles of giving up sex to men who have nothing more going for them than looks. The majority of young, unmarried women are now having sex with men before those men even graduate from college and get full-time jobs. Think about that. The Bible says that men are supposed to provide for their families or they have denied the faith. But single women are sexually active with men who have literally no resume, no savings. No indication of their ability to be sober, chaste and faithful at all. This is what they want, and the church has nothing to say to them about it.
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Just laughing at this……..in most American churches today, I as a single, never married Christian man who is now in his late forties, who not only hears, but OBEYS God is told by pastors, pundits, Christian media, Christian organizations to:
“Man-up and marry this poor, poor woman!!!!!”
Makes me laugh. Notice in the article and if you listen to her interview with Stefan. She NEVER admits she was wrong. She blames everything on her absent father, her “strict Christian mother” and she even defends her mothers toxic actions. She never once says the words ‘repentance’ and / or ‘turning away’ form her past or her past actions.
It’s still some “no good man’s fault”
It’s still some “hot alpha guys fault”
“I rebelled, but my past is what makes me strong now mentality”
This woman is not alone……and its not limited to secular, worldly women. This is right at home inside the church today.
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I have a story to tell you.
So one of these women I mentored was raised Christian actually did have an absent father (he traveled a lot for business) and a strict, mentally-ill mother. She was in a cycle of drunkenness and promiscuity from age 18 onward. She got out of it at 27 and then someone referred her to me for the WK strengthening program. All she had going for her was a degree in business from a very good school. Her resume was a spotty gap-filled mess of minimum wage work. Since she was 20K in debt and had just moved back in with her fundamentalist parents, I decided to start her off with apologetics, and then find her a job. I found her an IT Project Manager job in the FT100 company that I was working in at the time. This job paid $60,000 and matched her education and resume exactly – it would have got her moved out, and out of debt in one year, and it would have saved her resume. And do you know what she said? “Waitressing is the easiest job I’ve ever had” and “Office jobs are boring”.
That was 3 years ago, and she still has found no full time work. All her relationships have been with unemployed, penniless students 4-6 years younger than her. She is still tens of thousands of dollars in debt. And her church and family are 100% behind her decisions. Many of my male Christian friends sided with her against me when she went overseas for a 2 year missions trip instead of taking that job. Now she is in her early-to-mid 30s, and has a 4.5 year gap in her resume since her last full time work. Her next plan? Back to school for more debt.
No one sees women’s spoiled, irresponsible nature as a problem that needs to be solved by strong leadership. Everyone just stands back and lets them decide everything based on their desire to feel good, travel and have fun and thrills. This is where all the crises that “government” has to solve with welfare, etc. come from. Here, we have taxpayer-subsidized abortion. In Canada, they have free IVF for aging single feminists. In the UK, free breast enlargements. That’s what health care has become. And that’s why something like 80% of young, unmarried women vote for bigger government. They would rather have fun and thrills and pass the bill off to others. We now have a $20 trillion debt in this country because of men’s failure to hold women accountable for their decisions.
Read this paper, which explains why government is so big now, and why we are 20 trillion in debt to pay for it:
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228231210_How_Dramatically_Did_Women's_Suffrage_Change_the_Size_and_Scope_of_Government
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What has pushed me more to the “Christian MGTOW” camp is not the wallowing self-pity of many MGTOWS. Nor the outright “anger issues” many MGTOW’s do have and this needs to be addressed……….nor the “hook-up” mantras “pump n’ dump” mentality more than few MGTOW’s proclaim….
I look at the prophets of old. I read about the countless men who died at the hands of the established ‘dogma’ of the church of its time during The Reformation (this is a glaring example). I look at the current state and condition of American Protestant Christianity…………who are the Pharisees of today? Who are the ones who will “send missions to the world for that one convert” but will scoff at correction, rebuking, uplifting, teaching, and equipping of ones in the pews on Sunday? The outright, and shameless self promotion of books, materials, publishing establishments, and other holdings these leaders of today hold and have.
Everyone claiming and proclaiming a “boldness” for Christ and His cause but a church that focuses more on “feel good” sermons and digs at men not “being man enough”
I am not a prophet. I cannot say God has this “amazing plan for my life” and I won’t call something a miracle that isn’t.
I am just a man who loves God. Breaks bread. Prays. Who has repented. I did make BAD, WRONG and EVIL choices as a younger man…and I am and will pay the consequences of these sins probably for the rest of my earthly life. I have counted the cost. The sins are forgiven, but the destruction from some of them will stay with me in this life. It’s a fact. A truth. A reality.
I returned from a three week, 150 mile backpacking trek I took in June of the Adirondack Mountains of northern New York State. I saw beauty, truth. I had some serious healing and time with Christ in His creation. I prayed harder than usual. I read the Word by campfire. I had devotionals.
I returned closer to Christ and more inspired to be follow Him than I have heard from my church (and I do like church overall). I found a peace that my own hurting soul needed in the wilderness. If I have to do this alone in this world, I will. If I have to suffer, and count the cost….I will. If I have to stand alone in a body of “believers” I will.
Time is short WK. I thank you for your inspiration, help, and intellect over the years. For a long time, I really thought I was going insane.
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There are lots of Christian men who are deciding to focus in on God and give up marriage in this society. I’m a Christian MGTOW, too. And it’s not for lack of education, resume or finances. Believe me – those areas are areas of strength for me. It’s just a genuine assessment that the church has failed to counter radical feminism, and train women for the tasks they perform in marriage.
For example, although pastors are very proud of their female members, I’ve met almost no women who had independently engaged in studying apologetics in my lifetime – even after years and years of church. The most basic tasks of defending God’s existence and the resurrection of Jesus and answering the problems of evil and suffering are complete mysteries to women who have been in church for decades – sometimes even in leadership. They just think that Christianity is for feelings and community, and they are never corrected. They think that everything in the world should feel good to them. That failure to learn basic apologetics is a clue to me that marriage is just too much for women to handle – how would they make sure that their kids could answer the challenges of a secular culture? I’m ready for marriage and children, but they have not been prepared for it. Best to make a difference by some other means.
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I have always studied the Word thorougly in my 22 years of being Christian. I came into it believing it was every Christian’s duty to do so. Not just studying it, but studying it deeply. But I’m not sure it’s necessarily that women can’t handle it. I’d be interested in knowing what you see is the difference between what is encouraged for young women and their training, and that of young men? Christian girls aren’t exactly encouraged to be Bible scholars.
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Congratulations on the 3 week Wilderness time alone with God. Sounds like you got your spiritual batteries recharged.
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Thanks Bee. I am not Grizzly Adams or some neo-hippie. I am just a sport outdoorsman. I enjoy camping, backpacking and hiking. My trek in June wasn’t a race. It wasn’t a competition. It was just me. I fully realized how small I am and how eternal God is. Yes, I was challenged. It wasn’t easy. I came to terms with my past. Ammends were made years ago. I was born again at 39. This long hike did teach me finally to forgive myself for past. Acknowledge that “yes” some on my past bad choices will stay with me as consequences… However. I finally accepted the cost. The bill has finally been paid on my end. I live a life fully of His favor now. If it keeps me single forever now. It’s okay. If it makes fellow believers play the “oh he thinks he’s better or more holy than us” well, that’s on them. Not me. I know who I hath believeth!
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Depends on what church you go to.
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Even in bible college twenty years ago. I noticed I could have a conversation with guys about points on describing trinity or eternal security / fall away.
All women I started to refer to anything about would usually go to a line about. I kind of prefer the love part more.
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I feel uncomfortable starting a ministry and legacy enterprise with someone who puts feelings and peer approval over truth and duty.
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The debate about women having to look past looks to find the “inner, responsible, husband material” man is misguided at best. It’s very important for a man to put forth his best look possible whenever possible. Human nature dictates that we make micro judgements of others at a glance. Physical attraction to someone is what opens the door to further interaction. If I showup to a date in sweatpants and and a ragged t-shirt, it communicates that I may not hold myself in high esteem or am comfortable being lazy or socially inept. Not qualities anyone looks for.
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