This woman’s husband left her for his business partner and took her kids

A striking story from the Public Discourse. (H/T Nancy Pearcey tweet)

Excerpt:

In the fall of 2007, my husband of almost ten years told me that he was gay and that he wanted a divorce. In an instant, the world that I had known and loved—the life we had built together—was shattered.

I tried to convince him to stay, to stick it out and fight to save our marriage. But my voice, my desires, my needs—and those of our two young children—no longer mattered to him. We had become disposable, because he had embraced one tiny word that had become his entire identity. Being gay trumped commitment, vows, responsibility, faith, fatherhood, marriage, friendships, and community. All of this was thrown away for the sake of his new identity.

Try as I might to save our marriage, there was no stopping my husband. Our divorce was not settled in mediation or with lawyers. No, it went all the way to trial. My husband wanted primary custody of our children. His entire case can be summed up in one sentence: “I am gay, and I deserve my rights.” It worked: the judge gave him practically everything he wanted. At one point, he even told my husband, “If you had asked for more, I would have given it to you.”

I truly believe that judge was legislating from the bench, disregarding the facts of our particular case and simply using us—using our children— to help influence future cases. In our society, LGBT citizens are seen as marginalized victims who must be protected at all costs, even if it means stripping rights from others. By ignoring the injustice committed against me and my children, the judge seemed to think that he was correcting a larger injustice.

[…]At the time of the first ceremony, the marriage was not recognized by our state, our nation, or our church. And my ex-husband’s new marriage, like the majority of male-male relationships, is an “open,” non-exclusive relationship. This sends a clear message to our children: what you feel trumps all laws, promises, and higher authorities. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want—and it doesn’t matter who you hurt along the way.

[…]Our two young children were willfully and intentionally thrust into a world of strife and combative beliefs, lifestyles, and values, all in the name of “gay rights.” Their father moved into his new partner’s condo, which is in a complex inhabited by sixteen gay men. One of the men has a 19-year-old male prostitute who comes to service him. Another man, who functions as the father figure of this community, is in his late sixties and has a boyfriend in his twenties. My children are brought to gay parties where they are the only children and where only alcoholic beverages are served. They are taken to transgender baseball games, gay rights fundraisers, and LGBT film festivals.

Both of my children face identity issues, just like other children. Yet there are certain deep and unique problems that they will face as a direct result of my former husband’s actions. My son is now a maturing teen, and he is very interested in girls. But how will he learn how to deal with that interest when he is surrounded by men who seek sexual gratification from other men? How will he learn to treat girls with care and respect when his father has rejected them and devalues them? How will he embrace his developing masculinity without seeing his father live out authentic manhood by treating his wife and family with love, honoring his marriage vows even when it’s hard?

My daughter suffers too. She needs a dad who will encourage her to embrace her femininity and beauty, but these qualities are parodied and distorted in her father’s world. Her dad wears make-up and sex bondage straps for Halloween. She is often exposed to men dressing as women. The walls in his condo are adorned with large framed pictures of women in provocative positions. What is my little girl to believe about her own femininity and beauty? Her father should be protecting her sexuality. Instead, he is warping it.

Without the guidance of both their mother and their father, how can my children navigate their developing identities and sexuality? I ache to see my children struggle, desperately trying to make sense of their world.

When I was younger and considering marriage, I thought a lot about no-fault divorce and how I would feel about my wife leaving me because she wanted to find herself in Europe, or something. I thought about the feminist judge who would give her custody of our children, and force me to pay alimony and child support. Marriage did not seem like a good risk to me then. I guess part of me always thought that feminists would be the only bad guys in this sexual revolution, and men and children were the victims of feminist selfishness. But this woman’s story really makes me realize how women can be just as much the victims of judicial activism as any man was under no-fault divorce laws. That story she told about the activist judge just made my blood run cold. What must that have been like for her, to lose custody of her kids and have them put into the “gay lifestyle” Grindr-style environment? My heart goes out to her.

Previously, I blogged about Dawn Stefanowicz‘s story of growing up with a gay father.

9 thoughts on “This woman’s husband left her for his business partner and took her kids”

  1. This is tragic but predictable. Given where we’re headed, the guy could have brought his gay lover into his house to live. And why not? The wife would have no choice, just like other victims of polygamy don’t have a choice.

    I think a lot of people who drank the pro-gay Kool-Aid will end up just like this woman. They are sawing off the branches they are sitting on and don’t even realize it. Are these pro-LGBTQX individuals, churches and politicians in favor of letting bisexuals marry at least one of each gender, or do they hate and discriminate against bisexuals? If so, will they be upset when their current or future spouse marries another person and brings him or her home to live with them? http://wp.me/p1wGU-5Ww

    Like

  2. This is as sad as it was predictable. 10 years ago, I was telling friends that in 20 years we’d not only have gay marriage, but Constitutionally-protected polygamy, Constitutionally-protected incest, beastiality and whatever other myriad form of anti-civilization you could imagine. I vividly recall telling people who would listen, that active, invidious discrimination against normalcy would be the new virtue. Discrimination would come in the form of economics, in the form of education, in affirmative-action and hiring. It would be all-encompassing and irresistible to the unprepared. 1984, Fahrenheit 451, Brave New World and Kafka’s Trial would look like child’s play.

    Everyone used to look at me like I was a nutjob. Not any more. I will occasionally remind those friends of my prediction by sending them the very e-mails from 10 years prior – and their response is invariably “Yeah, but….yeah, but….”

    They know. We all know. It’s inevitable. Collapse is inevitable. Our apologetics have completely failed to comprehend the nature and seductive power of our enemy. What we don’t comprehend, we cannot effectively fight. We have forgotten WHY we believe what we believe, and in the name of convenience and “tolerance” (which is the enemy’s most effective lie), we have lost the discipline to defend it.

    Like

    1. From the article:

      “My husband wanted primary custody of our children. His entire case can be summed up in one sentence: “I am gay, and I deserve my rights.” It worked: the judge gave him practically everything he wanted. At one point, he even told my husband, “If you had asked for more, I would have given it to you.””

      It looks like the man got custody of the children because he was gay and the judge was an activist.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s