In Canada, if you win a soccer game by a lot, then you lose

Here’s the story from the National Post.

Excerpt:

In yet another nod to the protection of fledgling self-esteem, an Ottawa children’s soccer league has introduced a rule that says any team that wins a game by more than five points will lose by default.

The Gloucester Dragons Recreational Soccer league’s newly implemented edict is intended to dissuade a runaway game in favour of sportsmanship. The rule replaces its five-point mercy regulation, whereby any points scored beyond a five-point differential would not be registered.

[…]According to the league’s new rules, coaches of stronger teams are encouraged to deter runaway games by rotating players out of their usual positions, ensuring players pass the ball around, asking players to kick with the weaker foot, taking players off the field and encouraging players to score from farther away.

[…]The new rule, suggested by “involved parents,” is a temporary measure that will be replaced by a pre-season skill assessment to make fair teams.

Miss Marprelate has some funny comments.

Excerpt:

I would love to live in a world where being really, really bad at something means that you win. Like what couldn’t I do? Win a multi-million dollar grant for software programming research? Get paid to develop a cure for cancer? Win an Olympic medal? Positively critique post-modern environmental feminist literature?

Actually maybe I could do that last one, “She eviscerates my soul with a heart wrenching drama exploring and extrapolating the contours of the female personification of divine uncertainty. Only in suffering this loss. By understanding not with the feeble flutterings of the mind but with the typhoon of truth that lies, swelling but stifled in the breast of every daughter of Eywa as they suffer the torture of conformity to a world determined to destroy their fabric of being. To destroy it so that they, the oppressors, can latter satiate their greed for destruction, while the guardians of the earth, those who were born of our Mother to protect her, the sisterhood of priestesses, stands by with silent, bowed heads. They are empty…..” Did I do well? Alright you can all stop laughing. Some people make real money spouting that stuff, which is more than I do.

Because no one should feel bad! And if anyone does then it’s the government’s job to punish the offender for being mean or trying too hard!

5 thoughts on “In Canada, if you win a soccer game by a lot, then you lose”

  1. Does this meant that a team can now kick balls into its own goal in order to run up the other team’s score and win the game?

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    1. Still, the fact that they did this at all is ridiculous. When I played softball as a kid we had a 10-run rule – if, by the 5th inning, one team had 10 or more runs more than the other team, the team with the higher score automatically WON. The idea was to keep the other team from being totally humiliated, but still rewarded the better team by giving them the win.

      Sometimes the coaches of both teams would agree to keep playing anyway, to make their kids practice. Far from making us feel demoralized, when this happened to my team it made us resolve to work harder and become better.

      Like

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