The gift of tokens, such as handkerchiefs or pennants, is standard operating procedure in chivalry. Chivalry and chastity are two important factors in my life. Both are complex disciplines to learn. Reading literature is the best way to learn, or by watching your parents get along, if you have a good father and mother (I did not!). But another way to learn is by studying the great works of art.
Below are just a few of my favorite paintings. (I like the Pre-Raphaelite era especially)
Click the small images for MUCH larger images!
RECOGNITION:
Men should be judged by godly women based on whether they are doing what God wants them to do. Those men who are willing to put God first in their planning should be recognized as special. Standard procedure is to give committed Christian men a token with the lady’s colors that he can carry into battle.
APPROVAL:
Men need to be encouraged to fulfill their obligations to God by receiving the approval of godly women. Men who accomplish great things for God should receive rewards from women. Notice that the painting is portraying a public accolade.
ATTENTION:
Along with her relationship with God, godly women should make time for relating to godly men, especially to her husband if she is married. This is even more important than parenting! I am a big believer in eye contact and long written essays.
UNDERSTANDING/RESPECT:
Women need to understand that a man’s duty to her comes second to a man’s duty to God. Part of loving a man is letting him do the activities that he needs to do in order to flourish as a man.
DEFERENCE/GRATITUDE:
A woman should be able to drive a stick shift, fire a Springfield Arms XD accurately, do the family tax return, throw a football 20 yards, and barbecue steaks. However, when men are around, she should allow men to do things for her, even if she can do them better herself. Men should always be asked to do dangerous tasks (shoveling snow, killing spiders, etc.), and they should never be criticized about their performance in front of other people, only in private.
Next time
Next time we can look at other paintings from Frank Dicksee, Arthur Hughes and George F. Watts to express other ideas like vulnerability, susceptibility, nurturing children and animals, modesty, chastity, and trust. It’s important that Christian men and Christian women know how to get along with one another. It’s important that non-Christians see real differences in the way Christians treat the opposite sex.
If you like these paintings, leave a comment and I’ll write more posts about chivalry and romance. Just because I have no experience with women doesn’t mean that I haven’t read the classics. If you want to read something really good on chivalry, check out C.S. Lewis’ essay “The Necessity of Chivalry” or Edmund Rostand’s “Cyrano de Bergerac” or Edmund Spenser’s “The Faerie Queene”.
Related posts
- Courting rules: how to respect a Christian man in the style of Ephesians 5
- Courting rules: what should a Christian woman be looking for in a man?
- Courting rules: how to tell if a woman is a committed Christian
- Courting rules: how men use self-control to make relationships count for God
- Are churches preparing women to choose real men for husbands?
- What is the meaning and purpose of white roses?
- Does being a virgin before marriage affect marital stability?
- How to communicate requirements to a Christian woman during courtship
- How Christian women can make Christian men marry without using sex appeal
- The rules for friendship and courtship between Christians
- What Christian men want from Christian women… in paintings!
- Should Christians marry non-Christians?
WINTERY KNIGHT 
I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts on contraception. Many point to the Church of England’s embracing of contraception is the start of their collapse.
I think that contraception is detrimental to respect for authentic femininity.
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In my opinion, postpartum depression (and sometimes postpartum psychosis), weight gain, haggard appearance, exhaustion — these are all possible outcomes of too much childbearing and childrearing, and “detrimental to respect for authentic femininity”. women need some space and rest to be able to be receptive and feminine.
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I’ve had seven children and am in a marriage in which we are quite open to life. I think my husband would disagree with you about the postpartum depression, weight gain, haggard appearance, and even the exhaustion. He once commented to me that this was the stereotype of mothers of many, but that he had yet to see it as a regular thing among us. Most of us he found to be in at least as good shape as other women our age, and often in better shape and appearance.
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My wife does 2″ groupings with our SA XD .45ACP (5″ slide) at 21′ (which is the longest defensive distance in our house).
It’s hawt.
Thanks for your thoughts on this. I especially keyed in on this:
“Reading literature is the best way to learn, or by watching your parents get along, if you have a good father and mother (I did not!). But another way to learn is by studying the great works of art.”
Oh more convincting words couldn’t come from rereading Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God… This truism, that good parental interrelation leads to children doing well (and it’s opposite), I’m convinced is the key to the “sins of the father are visited to the 3rd and 4th generation” passages.
I would also say that I did not observe good relationship from my parents, and am all to aware of the failings I demonstrate to my son and wife that are an echo of what I saw growing up.
There are a few additional resources I would add on ways to learn: The Holy Spirit. Teaching us is His function. The Bible has a plethera of instruction, and studying this, especially under the guidance of the Counsellor will yeild good results. Good community is so important. Latch onto a family or three that is Godly and share meals with them as much as they’ll let you. Observing how husband and wife and children can interract under the guidance of our Lord can be very very instructive.
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James, thank you for this great comment! I appreciate you writing it.
Your advice is the best advice for learning chivalry. I actually have two strong Christian families that I visit and spend time with whenever I can, and eat up all their food, too. They are awesome. This is the best way to learn how to behave around other men and women, whatever their ages.
The Bible is definitely a major source. The thing men need to realize is that women have to know God, too. And that means when you meet one, that should be your first priority. No matter what she is like, every woman has a duty to know God, and your duty is to help them. It is irrelevant whether they meet your needs or not. Men are on the hook and we will be held accountable.
Having your wife fire guns is hot because it means that she can protect herself if something happens to you.
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Great stuff! Great post! Thanks.
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I quickly read the title of your post and thought it said that “What Christian men want from Christian women…paintings.” Whoops! That’s a different article.
I think you have to include physical intimacy. It’s not only a natural part of a man’s physiology but it we were designed by God that way and He calls it good…of course it might be hard to include paintings to make that point…
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Yes, but how the heck am I supposed to find that in a painting?
I blogged previously about the problem of wives denying their husbands sex.
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Yes, I just read some of the posts there. I sort of feel dirty now…
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WK,
Thanks for this; very unique, but meaningful. I especially liked:
“A woman should be able to drive a stick shift, fire a Springfield Arms XD accurately, do the family tax return, throw a football 20 yards, and barbecue steaks.”
I’m going to give my wife a test…:-)
God Bless
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Thanks. I find this beautiful. ( I’m a 30+ y old Christian woman who have had no experience with men.)
But, since you are apparently male if I read you right, perhaps you should meditate and post on the opposite- “What Christian men should do for Christian women“?
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Beautiful, beautiful art and revealing of the delicate balance in the relationships of men and women! Thanks for posting.
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Like the post! The Pre-Raphaelite stuff is amazing. Sigh… And I totally would appreciate a man who killed/turfed out spiders for me. :-P
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Nice! All that and brains too. I pray WK finds someone who’s a match worthy of him. Correction: “Finds” is not the right word, but “Leads” — I pray he can wait until God “leads” him to the right one. (Someone smart, beautiful, poised, and godly like me ;-), but with less baggage and about 10 years younger — which would make her 34. Amen!)
And about “Experience” — it is not that Great really outside the confines of commitment. Instead it gets bitter in the end, destructive, and a complete waste of time and affection.
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I think it’s really encouraging to find that there are men who do hold fast to what GOD wants in their life, rather than what they can get out of life, using GOD. Thanks for this.
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Just discovered your blog through Apologetics 315.
I also want to say it is very encouraging to see other men holding to the ideal of chivalry.
By the way, when is the next installment of this post coming out?
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Um… I guess I do have to work on that… But instead I have been working on a post with the best scenes from literature. E.g. – the final scene of Taming of the Shrew.
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These paintings are beautiful! Thanks for sharing them.
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You’re welcome. I do have a nice romantic side that comes out when I am not angry with feminism.
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In doing some research for a blog article, I came upon your site. It is a joy to find that the death of Christian chivalry was wrongly reported. I would disagree about a woman being able to do the acts of driving a stick shift or fire a gun, etc. Growing up the matriarch of our family fought hard against feminist influences and was up against formidable foes, the media, public school, etc. Succumbing to such bad influences the journey back to the biblical feminine calling has been an arduous one. The remembrance of my girlhood training for being a lady is being restored to my life and I have been passing it onto my own daughter for years, but feared finding gentlemen of the stature of my youthful acquaintances to be few in the young men today. The idea of opening doors, standing when a lady enters a room, pulling a chair out for a lady, carrying her packages, being sole providers of the family, head of the household, etc have been reportedly passé according to some reporters and many “polls”. It is with a grateful heart that I am finding more websites and blog by young people, men and women alike who are striving to return the biblical roles of manhood and womanhood, so I pray you will continue your efforts.
Mrs. J.
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Love this! No sooner had I posted a link to this on my FB profile but people began to comment.. Bless you!
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Hi there :) It is my first time be inside your blog. I like these stuff. I admire everything that’s written here. I hope I can read all your writings!!!
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great! I’d prefer an AR-15 though…lol
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Oh rats, I just noticed that you aren’t friends with any of my friends on Facebook. Don’t you want to be friends with all the apologists and conservatives and pro-lifers and pro-marriagers? We don’t have anyone in common. Boo.
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